December 10, 2013
There’s likely a considerable Venn diagram overlap between regular Wonkette readers and people who are down with the medicinal Mary Jane. Mebbe you are not so much into the indulging, but you are probably not terrified that legal weed is the end of civilization because you are not our grandparents. But, on the slim chance [...]
Newark Mayor Cory Booker, the caped-crusading, embattled-cat recovering, amateur fireman, Mr Plow come to life, twitter-master and media darling, won the Democratic primary for New Jersey’s open Senate seat yesterday despite a big ol’ Hate-On from liberal writers everywhere, including our own erstwhile wonkets. But why all the hate, haters?
Once upon a time, there was a nice man named Sergio Branco who lived in New Jersey with his wife and kids, working for a waste management company called Russell Reid on weekdays and hosting large barbeques for his family and friends on the weekends. Then one day, Russell Reid did not feel so well, [...]
Chris Christie has released his first wave of campaign ads for the 2016 presidential elections! Oh no wait, no, these are not campaign ads, they are Jersey Shore tourism ads, can’t you tell? They are public service ads to promote tourism! Because everybody wants to go to a beach full of Chris Christies. That’s why [...]
As flags across New Jersey fly at half-staff in remembrance of beloved teevee man James Gandolfini, dozens of Garden State politicians are scrambling to explain their connections to an illegal pay-t0-play scheme that wouldn’t have felt out of place in one of the more boring episodes of The Sopranos. Here’s how it worked: the bankrupt [...]
Pronounced… Chi-ee-sa? Cheez-a? She’s-a? Who knows, and who cares! New Jersey Governor Chris Christie has named State Attorney General Jeffrey S. Cheesa to be Frank Lautenberg until New Jersey can pick a new one on a day when Chris Christie won’t be running for Governor again, please and thank you. So is this guy a [...]
Gov. Christie has returned from the wilderness where he was in communion with The Great Smog God of Turnpike Exit 7-A, and has made his official declaration about how to fill Sen. Lautenberg’s recently vacated Senate seat.
You know who died? Besides Edith Bunker? New Jersey Democratic senator, actual son of a millworker and up from his bootstraps millionaire, almost-nonegenarian, and yeller at that whippersnapper Cory Booker Frank Lautenberg died, that is who. At 89, he was the oldest member of the Senate, and the last World War II veteran in the [...]
It was a scene to make the spirit of John Hughes weep tears of being dead: Chris Christie and Barack Obama, the founding bros of the bromance that has come to define the term, reunited at Bruce Springsteen’s The Jersey Shore — the very place where their first electric, forbidden tryst launched like $20 billion [...]
Like a middle-aged man in the grip of a Viagra-fueled sex spree, this whole “Did New Jersey Senator Robert Menendez (D-Sexytimes) Sex Up Some Underage Hookers In The Dominican Republic” story just keeps on keepin’ on! Just to recap: not long before the November election, chipmunk-faced ace reporter Matthew Boyle broke the shocking news that [...]
Next-gen rightwing journamalism Great White Hope Matthew Boyle was pretty proud when the FBI did some boring raid on some shady eye doctor allegedly organizing underage sex-hookers for New Jersey Senator Bob Menendez. Boyle had been beating his horse for months over it, while no one respectable would touch it. (Your Wonkette, along with the [...]
Hi single people! Sorry about the uber-commercialized “fuck you I’m getting laid tonight” holiday that coupled people foist on you every February. You really don’t deserve it. But take solace in at least one thing: you are not Matthew Boyle of Breitbart/Daily Tucker fame. Most normal Americans will spend the day avoiding their Facebook Feed [...]
New Jersey Senator Bob Menendez (D-Bada Bing!) got in a spot of bother about three minutes before election day last November, when it was revealed he was boning Dominican sex workers in big piles of orgy, with his buddy, some skeezy eye doctor or something. New Jersey, as it happens, did not care. Nor did [...]
Over the weekend, we told you about a New York Times hit piece on Tall Column of Chocolate Love Cory Booker, and how reporter Kate Zernike did not seem to be doing herself any favors by ending it with a steaming dump of DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? Now, thanks to HuffPo, we are [...]