Wonkette Intern Extraordinare Greg Wasserstrom continues to surprise us by neither bringing us our coffee as specified in his blood oath nor being decidedly unfunny to make us look better. But, without coffee, we’re too lazy to crack down anyway.I just have one question for Jon Corzine, governor of the State of New Fucking Jersey and it is this: What, sir, would Jesus do? Would he
sign into law a bill banning the death penalty,
the fucking death penalty, the most important tool in the law enforcement tool box? The verdict is in, Corzine, the verdict is in, and
Huckabee and I know what Jesus really wants. But go ahead, governor. Sign away the lives of your citizens, as now there will be no deterrent to killing people in your state. But plow forward sir, you know what’s best. Go ahead and reverse a 42-year tradition of executing those individuals who, after being charged with a capital crime, were assigned a public defender for lack of access to an actual, non-poor-person lawyer and therefore convicted. Go ahead and spare those from death who would otherwise be exonerated by
DNA evidence. That’s just
so American and everything. As for me, I’m on the next bus to Moscow because what’s the fucking difference?
Wonkette
Hillary's election strategy is legendarily flawed, what with it making her lose and all. Look at the classic fable of New Jersey and Idaho on Super Tuesday: Hillary puts all her time into winning the big state, ignores Idaho, while Obama holds one mega-rally in Boise. She wins New Jersey's delegates 59-48 (+11, for those of you who hate Elite Math) while Obama win's Idaho's delegates 15-3 (+12). Was it just stubbornness, or did she think she would win New Jersey by a larger amount? A new Time article reveals that this poor strategy stemmed from the simplest possible explanation: Chief Strategist Mark "Bowser" Penn had no idea what "apportioned delegates" were. He literally did not know the rules of the Democratic party's nominating process.
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MCGREEVEY CONFIRMS T.G.I. FRIDAY'S THREESOME CLUB: Ex-New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey has confirmed that he used to have 
