New Jersey
Hey Americaphile, what’s new in Jersey? Anything interesting going on with respect to driving tests at whatever New Jersey calls the DMV? Could you please answer in the form of everything in bold and ALL CAPS? Republican Sens. Gerald Cardinale of Cresskill and Michael Doherty of Warren/Hunterdon offered a bill to require both portions of [...]
What comical attempts at cliché villainy do we have out of New Jersey’s ranks of local crony politicians today? Here’s one: the FBI has hauled off West New York’s Democratic mayor Felix Roque and his son on charges of hacking into a website associated with a movement to recall the mayor and then calling up [...]
Haha, here is a “funny” video from Governor Sammiches, Chris Christie, about how he is so jealous of perfect angel Newark Mayor Cory Booker, last seen breaking and entering into a burning building and abducting the woman therein. Except that it is actually funny? It’s okay dudes, you can still hate him afterwards. Nobody’s here [...]
The rightful good Governor Sandwiches of New Jersey, after weeks of speculation about whether he would veto a bill setting up Obamacare health exchanges in his state, has obviously done that. Now hundreds of thousands of people in New Jersey, lest the feddy gov step in, will have to continue receiving health care by their [...]
Bogota, New Jersey, police officer Regina Tasca responded to a call about a young man who was being erratic. She was supposed to transport him to the hospital. Two of her fellow officers, though, thought they were more supposed to jump on him and kick him in the head and shit — you know, the [...]
In case you were concerned about Chris Christie and his social life, post-gay marriage veto, he’s gonna be just fine. [Think Progress]
Cantankerous Jersey Shore nightclub bouncer Chris Christie found a new IDIOT [SIGH] to holler at yesterday, for being so STUPID. And it wasn’t even a public school teacher or elderly Iowan (very close, though!) or generic constituent politely asking a question. It was Warren Buffett, the scary old billionaire liberal investor who keeps whining about [...]
New Jersey’s Senate passed a gay marriage bill today! Now it will go to the state Assembly, which will pass it, because Assemblies pass everything. Then it will hit the desk of the good Governor Sandwiches of New Jersey, Chris Christie, who will veto it and then curse out some teachers, for his breakfast dessert.
Why is Donald Trump in the news again? Wasn’t he banished for the rest of 2012? Guess not. Besides the dingle-dongle Endorse Newt vs. Endorse Mittens moment of this morning, vulgar hair-weave troglodyte Donald Trump is also planning to bury people in his tacky country club golf course graveyard in New Jersey. Give Trump some [...]
“Why hello, 2004, we had almost (thankfully) forgotten about you,” was our first reaction to the news that Michelle Obama’s anti-obesity campaign has a new “celebrity” champion in Joseph Antonio “Fat Joe” Cartagena, who at one point made a lot of suburban middle school dance chaperones nervous with his funny lyrics about the act of [...]
Apparently since dull turd Mitt Romney’s campaign message “Comrade Barack Obama is only here to steal yer munnies” comes across like he is just some anxious unlikable rich guy worrying over his fortune, hahaha which he is, Mittens’ sweaty-shiny new campaign trail attack frog Chris Christie will polish it up with something a little bit [...]
A lot of politicians “run for office,” apparently, and to do this they need something called a “war chest,” which sounds ominous but is really just a bank account full of money from their supporters/overlords. Now, supposedly that money is meant for running for office only, and not for, say, plunking down $7,725 so you [...]
Hmmm, so what has corrupt old coot Jon Corzine been doing with his time since New Jersey dumped his ass for sexy younger wife Chris Christie? Oh, you know, the former Goldman Sachs CEO just wanted to sorta work his way back into the old Wall Street swing of things. Mission accomplished! Which means, obviously, [...]
Ah, the old “probably it was some guy who broke into my hotel room and took pictures of me sleeping in my underwear” excuse. Medford, New Jersey mayor Chris Myers is here to fill the weekly news slot reserved for the outing of one or another garden variety self-loathing, escort-loving closeted Republican politician with a [...]
World’s best lover New Jersey GOP state Senate candidate Phil Mitsch has some hot relationship tips on Twitter for the ladies, oh yeah: ”Women, you increase your odds of keeping your men by being faithful, a lady in the living room and a whore in the bedroom.” BAM. You like that? Yeah, you do. And that’s [...]
