Quantcast

New Jersey

THAT'S A FUNNY WAY OF SPELLING 'BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN'  4:21 pm June 6, 2013

America, Meet Your New Forgettable Senate Placeholder: Jeffrey S. Chiesa

by Alex Ruthrauff

Pronounced… Chi-ee-sa? Cheez-a? She’s-a? Who knows, and who cares! New Jersey Governor Chris Christie has named State Attorney General Jeffrey S. Cheesa to be Frank Lautenberg until New Jersey can pick a new one on a day when Chris Christie won’t be running for Governor again, please and thank you. So is this guy a [...]

UPDATE  2:45 pm June 4, 2013

Chris Christie Splits the Baby, Eats It

by DDM

Gov. Christie has returned from the wilderness where he was in communion with The Great Smog God of Turnpike Exit 7-A, and has made his official declaration about how to fill Sen. Lautenberg’s recently vacated Senate seat.

WONKSPLAINER  11:28 am June 4, 2013

Nation Remembers N.J. Sen. Frank Lautenberg For Several Minutes Before Commencing Electoral Freakout

by DDM

You know who died? Besides Edith Bunker? New Jersey Democratic senator, actual son of a millworker and up from his bootstraps millionaire, almost-nonegenarian, and yeller at that whippersnapper Cory Booker Frank Lautenberg died, that is who. At 89, he was the oldest member of the Senate, and the last World War II veteran in the [...]

SERIOUSLY THOUGH DON'T GO UNDER THE BOARDWALK  11:30 am May 29, 2013

Obama, Christie Tour Sandy-Hit Boardwalk And We Do Not Make Even One Fat Joke About It

by Alex Ruthrauff

It was a scene to make the spirit of John Hughes weep tears of being dead: Chris Christie and Barack Obama, the founding bros of the bromance that has come to define the term, reunited at Bruce Springsteen’s The Jersey Shore — the very place where their first electric, forbidden tryst launched like $20 billion [...]

WHICH ONES ARE THE PROSTITUTES AGAIN?  4:00 pm March 18, 2013

AP Scoop: Dominican Republic Hookers in Menendez Story Were Not Trustworthy After All

by Gary Legum

Like a middle-aged man in the grip of a Viagra-fueled sex spree, this whole “Did New Jersey Senator Robert Menendez (D-Sexytimes) Sex Up Some Underage Hookers In The Dominican Republic” story just keeps on keepin’ on! Just to recap: not long before the November election, chipmunk-faced ace reporter Matthew Boyle broke the shocking news that [...]

A BLACK EYE AND FEATHER IN HIS CAP  6:15 pm March 4, 2013

Daily Caller’s Menendez Hooker: I Can’t Believe We Made Up The Whole Thing (Updated!)

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Next-gen rightwing journamalism Great White Hope Matthew Boyle was pretty proud when the FBI did some boring raid on some shady eye doctor allegedly organizing underage sex-hookers for New Jersey Senator Bob Menendez. Boyle had been beating his horse for months over it, while no one respectable would touch it. (Your Wonkette, along with the [...]

WANKERS  9:45 am February 14, 2013

Matthew Boyle To Spend Valentine’s Day Alone, Cockblocking Bob Menendez

by Stefan BC

Hi single people! Sorry about the uber-commercialized “fuck you I’m getting laid tonight” holiday that coupled people foist on you every February. You really don’t deserve it. But take solace in at least one thing: you are not Matthew Boyle of Breitbart/Daily Tucker fame. Most normal Americans will spend the day avoiding their Facebook Feed [...]

IN MY ARMS SHE WAS ALWAYS LOLITA  2:00 pm January 30, 2013

New Jersey Senator Bob Menendez Really Should Not Be Sexing Under-Age Prostitutes

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

New Jersey Senator Bob Menendez (D-Bada Bing!) got in a spot of bother about three minutes before election day last November, when it was revealed he was boning Dominican sex workers in big piles of orgy, with his buddy, some skeezy eye doctor or something. New Jersey, as it happens, did not care. Nor did [...]

SWIFTBOAT RETURNS  11:01 am December 18, 2012

New York Times Cory Booker Takedown Just Got A Lot More Embarrassing For The New York Times

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Over the weekend, we told you about a New York Times hit piece on Tall Column of Chocolate Love Cory Booker, and how reporter Kate Zernike did not seem to be doing herself any favors by ending it with a steaming dump of DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? Now, thanks to HuffPo, we are [...]

DOWN IN HIS B-BOY STANCE  11:20 am November 19, 2012

Hurricane Hypeman Joe Biden Warms Up The East Coast For Your Homeboy Barack Obama

by Jesse Taylor

Joe Biden can literally say any fucking thing in the goddamn world, and it does not matter. Said Joey the Biden to Sandy victims to make them feel better and convince them they have a black friend: “So as the president said when he was up here with the governor, we’re not going anywhere. We’re [...]

NO HOMO  5:03 pm November 8, 2012

Unchastened Chris Christie Continues To Make Sweet Gay Love To Barack Obama

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

What did Chris Christie tell Barack Obama, while they canoodled on the phone for seemingly hours? “You hang up.” “No, you hang up.” “You hang up first,” they both repeated fucking endlessly, until they fell asleep with their Blackberries cradled under their drooling, open mouths. And what did he tell Mitt Romney?

WAAAHHHH  4:44 pm November 6, 2012

Romney Staffers Totally Butthurt That Chris Christie Is Too Busy For Their Nonsense

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

One of the most delightful developments of the past week has been seeing New Jersey Governor Chris Christie get evicted from the Republican Party for the crime of being respectful and grateful (in the wake of a hurricane that devastated his state) to the president of the United States, who is a known black person. [...]

CAPE NOT PICTURED  2:10 pm November 6, 2012

Cory Booker Will Bring You Some Blankets in His Sexxy New Tumblr

by Blair Burke

Those shameless libruls are at it again, making jokes about your teenage daughters and black men and THE SEXING. Only this time, these concepts are being strategically interwoven into a new hawt Tumblr, “Cory Booker Hey Girl” (much more sneaky than two short weeks ago, when Lena Dunham explained the importance of losing one’s virginity [...]

RUSH LIMBAUGH EXPECTS AN APOLOGY  2:33 pm November 1, 2012

Rush Limbaugh Thinks Chris Christie Is A Big Fat Fool

by Kris E. Benson

Oh ha ha ha, this is delightful! Two days ago, Chris Christie basically told Romney to go eat a dick because he wasn’t interested in prancing around with Mittens, looking for photo ops, while half of New Jersey’s coastline was still underwater. So today, Rush Limbaugh has decreed that Chris Christie is “fat” and a [...]

BLOWVEMBER  9:29 am November 1, 2012

NJ Sen. Bob Menendez Proves Old Truism: Dude, Pay Your Hookers

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

New Jersey Senator Bob Menendez, repeat after us: Pay your hookers. Pay your hookers. PAY YOUR GODDAMN HOOKERS. Maybe you thought $100 was enough for working gals in the Dominican Republic. If that is so, you should have told them that UP FRONT instead of agreeing to $500 and then only forking over a lousy [...]

← Previous Entries


blog advertising is good for you