Did you hear about how Barack Obama might appoint a Republican senator to Commerce Secretary? Such brilliance and political genius! It has never occurred to another human on the planet, ever, that some political advantage might be gained by eliminating an opposition-party Senate seat from a state controlled by a sympathetic governor. MORE »

• RON PAUL MIGHT RUN IN 2012: Wouldn’t want to disappoint the Internet, would he? Paul’s spokesman and “grandson-in-law” Jesse Benton says that a decision would have to be made in the next six months, so as to set up early ground ops in Iowa and New Hampshire if the answer’s “yes.” Could Ron Paul be the next John Edwards? [Reason]

The ceremonial (but real!) first votes are in from the spooky midnight rites in Dixville Notch, New Hampshire, and Barack Obama is officially winning the presidential election, 15 votes to 6. Also, this is a comical sentence: “Independent Ralph Nader was also on the ballot, but received no votes.” Curses! We had just bought $5k worth of “Nader” on Intrade. [AP]

An actual 10,574,901 national and state polls have been conducted today, did you know that? No you didn’t, because you people cannot count that high. So here’s what you “need to know,” according to our fancy data robots at Wonkette. MORE »

America’s most unemployed blogger, Meghan McCain, has made a pledge to the independent white northern trash of New Hampshire: if her father, the illustrious “John,” wins the presidency and carries New Hampshire in the process, she will get a fithy “Live Free or Die” tattoo inked into her. WTF is she even talking about? If McCain loses or doesn’t carry New Hampshire, she’ll still get a tramp stamp, except over her pelvis. It will say “NASCAR DAD” backed with a full-color flaming bald eagle chugging a lukewarm Bud Lime. [Union Leader]

Hmm, here is an interesting video clip sent to us by a Wonkette New Hampshire Primary Operative. It shows John McCain last November talking with some nice New Hampshire newspaper editors about economic things and good christ, maybe everything he said was rubbish, but this was possibly the first time we saw him looking not grumpy or confused or ghoulish in… ever. The six-minute segment is sort of interminable for those of you watching at work so here is a sad/lovely quote: MORE »

Here are some important new Battleground polls that you should take with a grain of salt, because they have not factored in Ron Paul’s 1/3-endorsement of Ralph Nader today. Otherwise, these are pretty good signs for Obama — after all, they were conducted Sept. 7-9, a three-day period during which Democrats caved entirely to their old friend Self-Loathing and Republicans were gaining media traction with the impossible idea that they care about women at all. So why is it that New Hampshire and Michigan are being so Sexist? [The Page]

Even though the Internet has already concluded that Barack Obama lost the election after some unknown wingnut vice president lady gave one surly speech last week, we couldn’t help but check out the electoral map anyway, just for kicks. Above is the fun Pollster map, and then you’ve got your FiveThirtyEight map, and this is a good thing to read also. Now play around with this stuff for exactly two minutes, preferably while drinking, and after those two minutes you’ll realize that Barack Obama still has this shit safely locked up. MORE »

LONE REPORTER GREETS MCCAIN PLANE: “In Manchester last night, there was just one reporter and one photographer waiting for McCain as his plane — a white, blue and gold Boeing 737-400 emblazoned with his campaign slogan, ‘Reform, Prosperity, Peace’ — touched down on the Wiggins Airways tarmac. The Vietnam War veteran limped as he made his way down the metal stairway ….” [N.H. Union Leader]

Now that his wife isn’t running anymore, will Bill Clinton revert to being arguably the most popular Democratic official of the last half-century and, you know, help his party out a bit? Maybe hold a big public endorsement spectacle for Obama? Maybe later! He has finally indicated, however, that he will support the Democratic nominee for president, via a one-sentence statement from his people: “President Clinton is obviously committed to doing whatever he can and is asked to do to ensure Senator Obama is the next President of the United States.” Obviously! Maybe he will appear with Hillary and Obama in Unity, New Hampshire on Friday. Or maybe he will cry. Still. [Hotline]

Gary Dodds was running for Congress in New Hampshire in 2006 when, out of nowhere, he became the saddest person in the history of the world. His campaign was low on funds, he had already spent double what he told his wife he’d spend, he’d taken out two mortgages (for renovations, mostly). He was broke and desperate. That’s when he “disappeared” after a car crash in the snowy woods and was rescued 27 hours later, making him a Common Man and bringing in “campaign” cash. Earlier this year, he was convicted in court of making this up — that he faked his own disappearance. And now he’s been arrested again for violating bail conditions. This person’s life makes us all want to drink, a lot. MORE »