Wonkette

In 2008, what would post-primary analysis be without a dose of Chris “Rangoon” Matthews getting faux-snippy with a guest? Why it wouldn’t be post-primary analysis at all, you see! Check out Tweety getting into it with older-than-ever Pat Buchanan on MSNBC last night. Pat oh-snaps Chris for being wrong about New Hampshire, Chris adorably defends himself, and then Pat shouts about Mitt Romney being able to win everything.

NBC’s appeal to keep Dennis Kucinich out of tonight’s MSNBC debate in Vegas was set for a 4:30 ET hearing in Nevada’s Supreme Court (the majors!). Word should come out shortly whether our favorite hobbit makes the grade or not. Also, Liz “Polaroid” Glover did not go with Ken to Vegas. This is just a leftover from New Hampshire, and THEN THAT’S IT. [The Caucus]

For some reason, Mittens posted this New Hampshire Cummer vacation video on his YouTubes the day after the New Hampshire primary. For shame! The real Mitt shines here — making smores, calling his kids “morons,” taking his shirt off (you only see his back, no nip) — on his, you know, luxury New Hampshire estate. Coulda be a winner. Coulda, woulda, won’t. [YouTube]

You know how every newspaper in the world (of New Hampshire) endorsed WALNUTS! and then he bragged about it in an ad? Well apparently in Michigan — where he’s in a tight battle for the republic with Mittens — its particular flavor of dying print journalism also loves the crazy old man. McCain brags about this, too, in a new ad that is the exact same thing as the New Hampshire ad, just with different words.

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Jennifer Call, the town clerk of Sutton, NH — the “Portsmouth of Merrimack County” — mistakenly reported zero votes for Ron Paul in her district last Tuesday, when he really had 31 (out of 920). Although she corrected the error shortly thereafter, she was quick to notice her name “being splashed across the internet as this horrible person.” Jennifer Call, meet the Paultards. MORE »

Remember Sidney Blumenthal? He was a bigshot print journalist back when that last mattered, in the early 1990s. And then the Clintons saved him from obsolescence by making Sid a very special part of the Bill/Hillary circle. They are loyal, as long as you never cross them in any way: Blumenthal is still working for the Clintons today. But he’s now facing “aggravated DWI” charges for allegedly driving so very drunk in New Hampshire last week. [The Smoking Gun]

We were remiss in not linking to this nice Washington Post “Reliable Source” item, which noted on Wednesday that Capitol Hill yoga star/Wonkette videographer Liz Glover and her infamous Barbie-Cam had charmed many evil Main Stream Media and candidates (including the freedom-loving Ron Paul) in New Hampshire during our nation’s first, freezing granite-state primary. [Washington Post]

Beloved vampire writer Anne Rice has a very gloomy message for all you goths: Hillary Clinton will be your Queen of the Damned, and also the Lady President. Anne Rice is ecstatic, as you can tell from this video endorsement from the Haunted Mansion:

We are now anxiously, fearfully awaiting endorsement announcements from Count Chocula and Blackula.

Undead: Anne Rice Endorses Hillary [Political Machine]

It’s not every day that Ronald Reagan’s favorite speechwriter admits she not only reads Wonkette, but laughs at it. So we were very pleased this morning to see that Peggy Noonan, our nation’s most beloved newspaper columnist since 1911, mentioned our New Hampshire coverage and a particularly Victorian bit of high-minded satire we dropped along the way: MORE »

Each week, the Comics Curmudgeon helps explain Today’s Cartoons.

Hey whoah there what happened with the electing and the caucusing and WHOAH looks like Obama and Huckabee are our new FRONT RUNNERS and everyone else is pretty much screwed old news done over with but then wait hold on hold up those crazy New Hampshirians or whatever they’re called CHANGED EVERYTHING and now Hillary and Walnuts are back in the saddle they’re underdogs who came from behind even though a year ago they were in the lead and OH MY GOD WHO CAN UNDERSTAND IT???? MORE »

• Surprisingly, the Palestinians don’t have a very high opinion of Bush. [New York Times]
• Bill Richardson, we knew him well. [Washington Post]
• Giuliani doesn’t think voters should discount him just because he hasn’t been in the race for weeks. [New York Times]
• Dennis wants a recount. He knows something’s up. [AP]
• You might mistake this endorsement as a bunch of nostalgic has-beens grasping for relevance, but that would be incorrect, so we’re told.[Washington Times]
• Huck swears that he’sa fetus lover. [Politico]

Famous whore Hillary Clinton, in some sobby vagina chat with Katie Couric following her New Hamsters victory, knew she would win, despite her own pollsters having her down by 11 points. The coffee, she says, was magically anti-Negro that morning: “On Tuesday morning when I got up before the sun was up, and was out helping to deliver coffee to everybody who was working for me, I felt really good by the time I came in around early afternoon.” Of course she felt good! Nothing like a good scripted cry to make you feel all dandy inside. MORE »

Yes, Howie, the media got all self- important about Barry and blew it on New Hamsters election night. But at least they didn’t compare their silly failures to a natural disaster that ruined the lives of many poor people. So thank you for getting on that. Also: do they pay you for this? [WP]

• A dramatic, inside account about how Hillary lost Iowa. Hint: the black man. [Washington Post]
• What if the polls weren’t wrong and Hillary used her witch magic? [Washington Post]
• It took him long enough, but Tony Blair finally got a job. [New York Times]
• The guy who broke the law in in ordering the torture tapes destroyed wants immunity from the law before he’ll talk about what he did. [CNN]
• Fred Thompson doesn’t need help to shoot himself in the foot, but he’s trying anyway. [Politico]
• Can Romney win his home state? We’re guessing no! [Los Angeles Times]