Terrifyingly angry Internet person Andrew Breitbart went to New Hampshire this weekend! And he talked to some people! Here he is, drinking a glass of iced rubbing alcohol, saying, “So why am I so happy to travel across the country? Because Watergate Jr. imploded.” The crowd erupts in applause — it’s not everyday that rural New Hampshirites get to hear one of them fancy West Coast non-sequiturs. He’s right though! Watergate Jr. did implode, when the police arrested them. [NowHampshire]

Blogger “Tim C.” has posted an excellent “Child’s Garden of Teabaggery” photo tour at Blue Hampshire depicting insane children holding signs at yesterday’s Portsmouth gun rally. This is our favorite, with the little girl holding up some confusing child-labor slogan right next to a freaking real-life Walter Sobchak describing his consecutive mouth- and anal-rape fantasies. In another photo, a little girl argues for tort reform. [Blue Hampshire]

Oh so is this what that woman was talking about at Obama’s Knife ‘n’ Gun Show yesterday? This one questioner, called upon specifically because she had “concerns,” made the excellent point that if you insure 46 million people who currently have no health coverage, then they might actually go to the doctor once in a while! This may create a “doctor shortage” of some sort that would be terribly inconvenient for those of us who currently enjoy immediate access to doctors of all sorts, due to the fact that we do not have to share them with a large percentage of our countrymen. MORE »

Here’s a police department mugshot of the guy found at the New Hampshire high school where Obama did his wingnut-free health-care Logan’s Run talky talk. Richard Terry Young, age 62, was reportedly grabbed by the cops and/or Secret Service at Portsmouth High School on Tuesday morning before Obama arrived. Dude had a knife, and the cops reportedly found his car nearby, with an unregistered loaded gun inside. MORE »

You can’t bring GUNS and stand on grassy knolls during presidential events, people! Oh, unless the grassy knolls are owned by wingnut churches, then it’s cool. Your fault if anything happens, Obama! [YouTube]

Yay is everybody ready for the most rip-roaring good time ever at a town hall since a mob of outraged yokels stole George Washington’s wooden teeth and chased him off the premises clad only in his skivvies and the 18th-century version of a women’s brassiere (two monkey skulls held together with catgut and lignum vitae)? That’s what happens when you mess with New Hampshire, the forgotten Appalachia of the American Northeast. MORE »

• YES WE WILL LIVEBLOG PRESIDENT OBAMA’S TOWN HALL WITH PITCHFORK-WIELDING MOBS AT 1PM EASTERN: As if you had to ask. Go get yourself some cut-rate Canadian oxycontin and we’ll see you back here in half an hour.

Mexican-hating hill troll Tom Tancredo vanished from America the day Barack Obama became the black president with two mommies (Hawaii and Kansas). MORE »

• Gay marriage is not legal in New Hampshire after all, thanks to its House of Democrats who were all, ehh no thanks, apparently. [Reuters]
• Newt Gingrich has admitted to having “fantasies” about being the GOP nominee in 2012. Except: are these alleged fantasies a ploy to boost book sales, or do they perhaps relate to something sexual-like, involving his wife, a one Callista Gingrich? Maybe!/ew! [Daily Intel]
• Not to be outdone by Barack Obama, the President, Dick Cheney will also be giving a talk about National Security tomorrow, because… his standing as… current Vice President… presupposes his ability to influence policy… [Gawker]
• Eric Holder is not going to let Congress or whatever ruin Barry’s plans to close down Gitmo. [First Read]

When Mitt Romney nears an election of his — only four more years-ish! — he transforms into his super-funny lying clown alter ego, “Mittens,” who literally believes in nothing and will simply invent exquisite lies or make fun of Bob Dole if that’s what’s demanded of him in the very short term. He’s harmless and terrible. Now he is selling all of his residences, because having lots of houses was embarrassing for John McCain for about hmm, a week?, last year. Which house is he keeping? The summer vacation home in… New Hampshire, of course! Why he just woke up one morning and decided he wanted to “winter” in the summer home from now on! [Hotline]

Just imagine our very private and humble Supreme Court justice sitting in his secluded shack in the woods, looking out the window, only to find some nut lurking behind two trees with a macro zoom lens. Next, the NYT will boil his bunny and put him down a well, for fattening purposes. [New York Times]

Yay a new era has dawned in Washington, bipartisanship forever, etc! After Barack Obama’s pudgy comic foil had to renounce the Latino Consolation Prize due to a corruption investigation, people wondered who could possibly replace Bill Richardson. And then the name “Judd Gregg” was floated, and people said, “well, he was pretty good in Fast Times at Ridgemont High,” plus he was a Republican, which meant that sneaky Barack Obama could get Gregg’s Democratic governor to appoint a Democrat to replace him in the Senate without a single Republican noticing! MORE »

Did you hear about how Barack Obama might appoint a Republican senator to Commerce Secretary? Such brilliance and political genius! It has never occurred to another human on the planet, ever, that some political advantage might be gained by eliminating an opposition-party Senate seat from a state controlled by a sympathetic governor. MORE »

• RON PAUL MIGHT RUN IN 2012: Wouldn’t want to disappoint the Internet, would he? Paul’s spokesman and “grandson-in-law” Jesse Benton says that a decision would have to be made in the next six months, so as to set up early ground ops in Iowa and New Hampshire if the answer’s “yes.” Could Ron Paul be the next John Edwards? [Reason]