Tag: nevada

Cowboy Bebop at his computer

At Least Nevada Wingnut Sharron Angle Didn’t Say She Is Nelson Mandela

Perennial Nevada looniebird Sharron Angle, who's pursuing another hilarious run for the U.S. Senate, would like us all to think about the coming metaphorical war for the soul of these United States, and whether we are prepared to fight...

Nevada Dongwhistle Michele Fiore Actually Running For United States Congress, Hooray!

We told you in November that Nevada assembly-lady Michele Fiore, whose boobs are as locked and loaded as her massive gun collection (and she's not afraid to use them!), was threatening to run for Congress. But way back when, it...
And Moses invests, hahaha!

Georgia’s Nifty ‘Religious Freedom’ Law Might Protect KKK’s Sacred Right To Do Klan Stuff

The Georgia state Senate passed an absurdly broad "religious freedom" law Friday on a 38-14 vote, sending a revised version of the bill back to the House, where it is expected to pass as well. Gov. Nathan Deal is...

Here Is Your Daily Affirmation That Republicans Are Dicks

We don't need any reminders that Republicans are the worst. Like, ever again. Seriously, we are all good with this lifetime supply already. Sadly, that doesn't stop them from jumping up and down and waving their hands in the air...

Marco Rubio Soars To Triumphant Not Last Place In Nevada, Donald Trump Does OK Too

Tuesday was an exciting night for Donald Trump, who stomped all over his Republican competitors in the Nevada caucuses with his patented gold-plated shit-kickers. He won approximately 5017 percent of the vote (or 45.9 percent, if you're a nerd...

Spoiler: Jeb Bush Does Not Win Nevada

We are on the edge of our poker table stools, sipping our complimentary well drinks and wondering who (Donald Trump) will win the Republican caucuses in Nevada this evening. Will it be Donald Trump? (Yes.) Or will it be...
Who ya got?

Who Would Donald Trump Like To Punch In The Face Today?

Donald Trump, the man who's working hard to make hyperbole redundant, is at it again. At a rally in Las Vegas Monday, the short-fingered fascist wannabe expressed disappointment at the climate of political correctness that won't allow him to...

Zombie Ronald Reagan Tells Republicans To Do Their Job

Who doesn't love the smell of Dead Reagan in the morning? Especially when he is trolling Republicans from the great beyond: The time is now right to join together in a bipartisan effort to fulfill our constitutional obligation of restoring...
Sometimes you just forget you already did that

Presidential Wannabes Prepare For Saturday Night Massacre Funtimes, Yay!

Greetings, salutations, and happy voting day. Wait WHAT!? Voting day?!?! Calm down, you don't need to readjust your calendar or change out of your footie pajamas and hurry off to work. (Unless you work the weekend shift, in which case,...
Not actually Bundy's son

Lawless Nevada Thug Cliven Bundy Gets To Stay In Jail Forever, Hooray!

Oh, those jackbooted federal government thugs have done it this time! They arrested Cliven Bundy last week in Oregon on charges related to the insane violent 2014 standoff he started in Nevada over whether the Constitution protects the God-given...
Good show guys.

Cliven Bundy Arrested, Remaining Oregon Militia Jackwagons To Surrender

Big news from the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge in Oregon Wednesday night. While most of the armed militia squatters are already rotting in jail as political prisoners, the FBI decided it was sick of waiting for the remaining four to...
That IS his smile!

Here Is Your Bernie Sanders New Hampshire Victory-Palooza Speech, For You To Fap To

Big news out of New Hampshire, like they rarely say! With 92 percent (and updating!) of precincts reporting, Bernie Sanders beat Hillary Clinton in the New Hampshire primary by a 60-38 margin to become America's first Jewish president of...
Freedumb fighter

Nevada Dingbat Michele Fiore Taking Cliven Bundy To Oregon Between Her Giant Boobs

Oh god, we were under the impression the Oregon standoff story was over, and everybody was dead or in jail now, and we could go back to ignoring how there are loud morons out west who think the federal...
Robert "LaVoy" Finicum, who died in the shootout.

Oregon Militia Will Beg For Snacks In Jail After Fed Shootout Leaves 1 Dead, 8 In Custody

Guys, we are not sure, but we think big gub'mint tyranny may have winned. How else to explain what transpired Tuesday night as jackbooted feds descended upon the Oregon militia boys (and little girls!) illegally occupying the Malheur National...

Nevada Dingbat Michele Fiore Will Protect Bundy Jackholes With Her Ginormous Knockers

Ammon Bundy and his band of merry morons need many things in life right now. Common sense, tampons for all the ladies who aren't even currently occupying the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge in Oregon, and PLZ MORE SNACKS. And no...
Come at me, Bro!

Harry Reid Is Your Legislative Badass Of 2015 And For All Time

If you are an old who remembers when, you might think Nevada Sen. Harry Reid is an odd choice for Wonkette's Legislative Badass of 2015. Reid became leader of the Senate Democrats at a strange time, for strange reasons. And by...