Tag Archives: nevada

  Oh That's Real Mature

Wingnut Rep. Cussin’ Folks Out For Mocking Her Bill To Kick Feds Out Of Nevada

How can she lose when she's so patriotic?
    Well, heck, liberty-lovers, guess it’s time to pour one out for Freedom in America, as the last best hope for state sovereignty went down to a big defeat in the Nevada legislature, despite the efforts of our new favorite one-L wingnut, Assemblywoman Michele Fiore, who tried so hard to help Great American welfare rancher Cliven Bundy achieve his dream of a Nevada where the federal government can’t own land. And to top it off, Fiore, who sponsored the bill to kick the federal government out of Nevada, had herself a first-rate meltdown on the floor of the Assembly when fellow Republican Chris Edwards had the temerity to suggest, during debate of the bill, that even if it passed, it would be the subject of expensive lawsuits that taxpayers would have to pay to defend, and then Fiore would be a laughingstock. We mean more of a laughingstock. Read more on Wingnut Rep. Cussin’ Folks Out For Mocking Her Bill To Kick Feds Out Of Nevada…
  BYO Constitution

Happy Bundyversary, America! Come On Down To Bundyland For BundyPalooza 2015!

2114's hottest hobby: Bundy Ranch standoff re-enactments
Wow, can you believe it’s been a whole year since the Great Big Freedom Standoff between a welfare rancher, his militia pals, and the Tyrannical Federal Government that wanted to take away all his cow friends because he never paid a penny of grazing fees after 1993? After, all, Cliven Bundy was just a simple rancher/entrepreneur peacefully grazing his cattle on federal land that was kinda-sorta near land that his family had settled since forever, or at least since 1948. So to celebrate the one year anniversary of the Greatest Freedom Standoff since Waco, the Bundy family is having a hootenanny, and everyone’s invited! And thanks to the brave redacted Wonkette tipster who forwarded the email to us, we’re excited to share the invite with all of you Liberty-Loving Loons, too! Read more on Happy Bundyversary, America! Come On Down To Bundyland For BundyPalooza 2015!…
  What happens at your retirement party stays at your retirement party

Harry Reid Invited To Celebrate Retirement With Hookers, Will Have To Bring His Own Blow

Sen. Harry 'The Stud' Reid
Go for it, Harry. Go out with a bang: A brothel in Nevada has offered to host U.S. Senate Democratic leader Harry Reid’s retirement party to thank him for efforts during his more than three decades in the U.S. Congress it says have “positively affected” the lives of legal sex workers in the state. Read more on Harry Reid Invited To Celebrate Retirement With Hookers, Will Have To Bring His Own Blow…
  so long farewell

Harry Reid Retiring To Let Someone Else Lead Senate Democrats To Defeat For A Change

Sooooooooo mean!
After insisting that he would absolutely seek re-election in 2016, Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid released a video and statement reminding us, in case we’d forgotten, that he used to be an amateur boxer — oh, and also, he will not seek re-election after all. Read more on Harry Reid Retiring To Let Someone Else Lead Senate Democrats To Defeat For A Change…
  load up on guns and bring your friends

Hot Nevada Ass-Kicking Chick Will Help Bundys Murder Federal Government. Again.

Who's the greater victim: Cliven Bundy or George Zimmerman?
It’s Wingnut Reunion time! Welfare Rancher Cliven Bundy’s family and their biggest fan in the Nevada Assembly, Michele “Guns Solve Everything” Fiore, are teaming up in support of a stupid bill that Fiore has introduced, for FREEDOM. You see, since the Tyrants in Washington kept persecuting poor ol’ Cliven for grazing his cattle on land that the feds claim they own, Fiore and 14 other Republican Constitutional scholars in the Nevada Assembly will solve that problem by just plain banning the federal government from owning land in the Great State of Nevada. Read more on Hot Nevada Ass-Kicking Chick Will Help Bundys Murder Federal Government. Again….
  the preferred nomenclature is "african-american"

Michele Fiore: The Coloreds Go To College Now So Stop Playing The Race Card

Big hair, tight shirt, gotta to get you off of my mind...
Sweet Yahweh of comedy, allow us to thank you for the gift of Michele Fiore, Nevada Assemblywoman and advocate for the most worthless cure for cancer short of prayer. Fiore has already graced us with her views on the federal government and arming co-eds. (For a fun party game, guess which one she opposes and which one she favors.) This week she waded into the debate over voter ID laws, because even the looniest state legislators still get to participate in the legislative process. Hooray for democracy! Read more on Michele Fiore: The Coloreds Go To College Now So Stop Playing The Race Card…
  Teach Your Children To Shoot Well

Oppressed Gun Fondlers Not Allowed To Be Foster Parents, This Shall Not Stand!

Oh, we get it! 'Permitted' -- like a gun permit! It is a pune, or play on words!
You know who has the toughest time of all in modern America? Patriotic gunhumpers, that’s who. Bad enough that the police threaten them by standing around nearby when they march around in front of public schools playing Open Carry Hero and screaming at the cops. Now we learn that, in the socialist commie state of Nevada, at least, you can be excluded from the pool of potential foster parents simply because you Love America enough to have a concealed weapon permit. Read more on Oppressed Gun Fondlers Not Allowed To Be Foster Parents, This Shall Not Stand!…
  Baking soda has so many uses!

Idiot Nevada Rep Lady Will Wash That Cancer Right Outta Your Hair

We have absolutely no patience for dumb people who have special braindead ideas about how to cure cancer or AIDS or stubbed toes or anything else, so let us throw to the wolves (YOU, rabid Wonkette commenters!) Nevada Assemblywoman Michele Fiore, because she is a dumb dick, if there ever was a template for “dumb dick,” like if Mavis Beacon was trying to teach you how to type “dumb dick,” it would involve typing the letters of Fiore’s name over and over until you get it right, KEEP PRACTICING, YOU WILL GET IT: Read more on Idiot Nevada Rep Lady Will Wash That Cancer Right Outta Your Hair…
  intramural frisbee golf just got more exciting

Nevada Bill Will Solve Rape, Let All Co-Eds Shoot Everyone, What Could Go Wrong?

Where could she even be hiding a gun?
Ah, college. That heady brew of drinking, parties, hormones, Marxist indoctrination, drugs, late nights, not enough sleep, political correctness, overblown drama, and more hormones. You know what might spice it up even more? Allowing students to carry guns on campus. Because when you can arm immature monsters who drink like fish and have poor impulse control, you have to do it. Read more on Nevada Bill Will Solve Rape, Let All Co-Eds Shoot Everyone, What Could Go Wrong?…
 

Judge To Obama: Stop Letting In All Those Immigrants Who Are Already Here!

Screw you, huddled masses
Wednesday was supposed to be the day President Obama officially rolled out the Kenyan welcome mat for all them illegals who’ve already snuck across our border to infect us with diseases and their strange foreign languages. But oh no, you can un-unfurl that Hispanic flag over the White House, Mr. Thinks He’s So President, because United States District Judge Andrew S. Hanen has put a stop to that nonsense, at least for now. Read more on Judge To Obama: Stop Letting In All Those Immigrants Who Are Already Here!…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Let’s Relive Corrupt Sen. John Ensign’s Sleazy Sex Scandal, Eww (Video)

Religious right hypocrisy: not a crime. Illegal lobbying? Oh, yeah.
A goodly chunk of the Rachel Maddow Show Thursday was devoted to an exclusive story on the John Ensign sex scandal and its fallout, much of which had been hidden away in Justice Department records. You see, Ensign, Nevada’s “other” Senator until his abrupt resignation in 2011, wasn’t merely a family-values horndog who was sexing a staffer. His lover’s husband, Doug Hampton, was also an Ensign staffer, and once the affair ended in 2009, Ensign tried to make things better by getting Hampton a job as a lobbyist — which violated federal laws. Guess which one of the two ended up getting prosecuted for that? Hint: It was not the disgraced Senator, who now plies his trade as a veterinarian in Las Vegas. Hampton pleaded guilty, and Ensign went back to giving shots to poodles. Read more on Morning Maddow: Let’s Relive Corrupt Sen. John Ensign’s Sleazy Sex Scandal, Eww (Video)…
  Ira We Hardly Knew Ye

Ira Hansen, Your New Favorite Nevada Wingnut, Already Calls It Quits

Goodnight Sweet Dunce
Just after we proclaimed him our favorite new wingnut and looked forward to a 2015 full of brilliantly idiotic quotes and policy positions, Nevada state assemblyman Ira Hansen has announced that he will not become Speaker of the Nevada House of Representatives after all. Read more on Ira Hansen, Your New Favorite Nevada Wingnut, Already Calls It Quits…
  The Far Right Stuff

Incoming Nevada Speaker Ira Hansen Is Your New Favorite Wingnut

Listen: Nevada Republicans are not interested in your “bipartisanship” or your “getting along” or your “logic and facts.” As soon as they took over the state House, they chose as their new Speaker one Ira Hansen, a gentleman who, according to the Reno News & Review, “doesn’t like blacks, gays, Israel, many Republicans, and most Nevadans[.]” Mr. Hansen got a brief mention in Yr Wonkette earlier this year when he explained that the reason Republicans don’t do so well with younger voters is that the GOP needs to be more firmly conservative on traditional marriage, to catch the wave of anti-gay sentiment among young folks. Read more on Incoming Nevada Speaker Ira Hansen Is Your New Favorite Wingnut…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: Electoral Dysfunction Edition

Wonkette does not allow magic scrolls, either.
Is it Saturday already? Must be time to put on the old Hazmat suit — which we never leave the house without now, on account of the ‘bola — and go skim off the worst of the dumbth in the comment queue for you, our dear readers. It’s an eclectic grab bag of goo this week, but we see that we moved some folks to political activism! Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: Electoral Dysfunction Edition…
  Dear Tucker: This One Time At FEMA Camp...

Idaho Christians Going To Jail For Standing Up To Homosexuals, Just Like Martin Luther King

Looks like the pogayto will be getting a lot of work now
Nobody could have seen this coming. The second Idaho got marriage equality, the crazed liberals who rule that state started oppressing supporters of traditional marriage right and left. Just look at this screaming headline from Tucker Carlson’s Internet Rage-a-torium: “Idaho City To Christian Pastors: Perform Same-Sex Weddings Or Face Jail.” It’s just like the Culture Warriors predicted! Merely standing up for the Bible is now a criminal offense! Let’s see exactly how terrible the oppressin’ is! Read more on Idaho Christians Going To Jail For Standing Up To Homosexuals, Just Like Martin Luther King…
  A Fistful Of Dullards

Cliven Bundy And His One Black Friend Star In Weirdest Political Ad Of 2014 (Video)

Oh, sure, we’ve called several ads weird, or even the weirdest. We thought maybe we’d seen all the weird that could be seen when Minneapolis mayoral candidate Jeff Wagner walked out of a lake holding a coffee cup last year, but this thing we are about to unleash on you poor Wonkers… well, it just blows Jeff Wagner out of the water. Read more on Cliven Bundy And His One Black Friend Star In Weirdest Political Ad Of 2014 (Video)…
  Nicest Nice Time Ever With Extra Nice

Supreme Court Says You Can Go Ahead And Get Gay Married After All, Idaho

One more down ...
Apparently, Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy just needed a few days to think about gays getting married in Idaho because on Friday, the court issued this very brief order: The application for stay presented to Justice Kennedy and by him referred to the Court is denied. The orders heretofore entered by Justice Kennedy are vacated. That now vacated order would be the one Justice Kennedy issued on Wednesday, telling Idaho and Nevada to just hang on one dang second with that marriage stuff, a mere day after the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals issued a most excellent opinion telling those two states, and specifically Gov. Butch Otter, to shove their “traditional marriage” into any orifice of their choosing. Read more on Supreme Court Says You Can Go Ahead And Get Gay Married After All, Idaho…
  Keep Your Confetti Dry

Anthony Kennedy Cockblocks Marriage Equality In Idaho

Marriage Equality is so fetch!
Idaho and Nevada almost got in on America’s Great Big Gay Hug for a little while there, as the 9th Circuit Court ruled yesterday that those states’ bans on marriage equality were just too stupid for words. Read more on Anthony Kennedy Cockblocks Marriage Equality In Idaho…
  Sorry you don't get to be dicks anymore

Gays, Prepare Your Vegas Weddings, Reno Divorce

Another day in America, another throat-ramming of gay homosexual gay marriage, this time right down the gullets of Idaho and Nevada. We read the entire 9th Circuit’s decision to share some of our favorite Hot Takes! with you, but really, you should read the whole thing yourselves. It’s that enjoyable. Read more on Gays, Prepare Your Vegas Weddings, Reno Divorce…
  Heroes of the American West

Cliven Bundy Gets Sued, Hides Behind Skirt Of Big Government

Bundy's cows have an important message.
Ho ho, Cliven Bundy, you fat sack of mooching crap! What shenanigans are you and your family of freedom-loving cutlery enthusiasts getting up to now? Applying for jobs as lecturers in African-American Studies at schools in wingnut-heavy districts? Threatening to tear off Harry Reid’s magnificent yarbles? Getting sued for letting your cattle wander onto an interstate, thereby causing a car crash that badly injured someone? Wait, that’s a new one! Read more on Cliven Bundy Gets Sued, Hides Behind Skirt Of Big Government…
  good luck with that

God Is Talking To Cliven Bundy Again

Bible quotes
Everyone’s favorite deadbeat cattle rancher, Cliven Bundy, just got another message from God, and no, it is not to quit the Republican Party and join the Independent Libertarian Freedom Party of Freedom of Independence and Freedom, since he already did that. Nor is God texting him to share some thoughts he has about The Negro, who is less free now than in the good ol’ slavery days. Read more on God Is Talking To Cliven Bundy Again…
  drugged individualists

Welfare Rancher Cliven Bundy’s Son Faces Arrest For Skipping Court, Had Excellent Reason Probably

In today’s Annals of Personal Responsibility, we learn that an arrest warrant has been issued for Cliven Bundy’s 34-year-old son, Cliven Lance Bundy, who failed to appear in court for a drug diversion program in July, related to a 2012 conviction on burglary and weapon charges. But he had a perfectly good reason for not showing up, he says. Probably something about gold fringe on the judge’s flag, or maybe his name was in all-caps on the paperwork? Read more on Welfare Rancher Cliven Bundy’s Son Faces Arrest For Skipping Court, Had Excellent Reason Probably…