Tag Archives: nerds

  clipbait

Stephen Colbert Just Loves Him Some Comic-Con Nerds, Also Rich People (Video)

Thwipp!
We’re going to throw a double dose of Stephen Colbert at you this morning, mostly because we’re just so darned indecisive. So hey, let’s go with TWO clips! First up, a potpourri from last weekend’s San Diego Comic-Con, that combination of fandom and media whoring that Colbert sums up as “an orgy… of people who will never be invited to the orgy.” And of course there’s shameless self-and-other promotion: Colbert hosted a panel for the next Peter Jackson movie, The Hobbit: Maybe We Could Have Stretched It Out To Four Movies, and is delighted to hear that Daniel Radcliffe is a fan of Stephen’s ice cream flavor. Excellent Marketingtainment! Read more on Stephen Colbert Just Loves Him Some Comic-Con Nerds, Also Rich People (Video)…
  how you gonna have a dream come true?

Happy Talkin Talkin Happy Talk (Etc)

In today’s edition of Things We Didn’t Already Crosspost Here, we have Klingon Nerd Beer for Nerds, Our Terrible Brackets (Jeff wouldn’t let me choose EVERY underdog for EVERY sportsball match, despite the fact I almost won ALL THE DOLLARS once exacta-ing the top two longshots, but then I forgot to box them, or I would have COMPLETELY FUCKING PICKED HARVARD), a Nashville recap that I didn’t read, but it’s Snipy! What could go wrong!, my masterpiece on Zac Efron’s BUMFIGHTS that all y’all have not fucking read despite my promising Lisa it would get a MILLION GODDAMNED PAGEVIEWS (I was drunk), and Snipy on Joan Rivers fatshaming that luscious Lena Dunham, which very well could have already been posted over here (feminism! bodyshaming! public health!) but I do not care to check. (Still drunk.) As a matter of fact, when Lisa/Snipy pitched the story in the chatcave I only approved it on the condition that SHE AGREE WITH ME that Lena Dunham is fucking beyoootiful naked, and only looks terrible in her terrible clothes, which are terrible. Lisa/Snipy agreed. Let’s all find out together whether or not she pointed that out, because I forgot to edit it. Read more on Happy Talkin Talkin Happy Talk (Etc)…
  nerdy is the new black

Nate Silver’s ‘538’ Shines With Nerdy Luminescence; Ezra Klein’s ‘Vox’ Polishes Turds

Do you have a (figurative or literal) boner for political and sportsball prognosticating whiz kid Nate Silver? We got one from reading The Signal and the Noise,probably because yr humble correspondent minored in statistics in college. It raged even harder last year when we heard about the 538/ESPN deal (despite reservations about that fucking pedophile Mickey Mouse).  Well, get your (figurative or literal) fapping accessories ready, because 538 has relaunched chock full of “data journalism.” Read more on Nate Silver’s ‘538’ Shines With Nerdy Luminescence; Ezra Klein’s ‘Vox’ Polishes Turds…
  we are the holodeck men

NSA Chief Used Replica Of Set From Popular ‘Star Trek’ TV Program To Impress Congresscritters, Win Support For Spying

Foreign Policy has a detailed, insightful profile of the “cowboy” approach to surveillance taken by NSA Director Keith Alexander. There’s a lot of important, outrageous, we-should-be-worried-about-this stuff in there about his cavalier approach to the law and to civil liberties and privacy. And we’re going to completely ignore all that, because somebody sent us a link to this BoingBoing post and all we could think was, “Oooh, SHINY!” Cory Doctorow sets up the part of the story that matters to us: [The] top spook is fan of science fiction movies and built his old command room to look like the bridge of the Enterprise from Star Trek: The Next Generation. He sold members of Congress by letting them sit in the big chair and “play Picard.” OK, look, we know that we should be seriously bothered by this, and on one level we are. But at the moment, our inner 12-year-old is running our grey matter, so we can only murmur, “Cooooooool.” Read more on NSA Chief Used Replica Of Set From Popular ‘Star Trek’ TV Program To Impress Congresscritters, Win Support For Spying…
  lawmakers + booze = governance

Millions of Americans Can Breathe Sigh Of Relief Now That We Are Safe From Unlocked Phones

Good news everyone! We are relieved, we are SO relieved, because as of Saturday, there are criminal penalties (including jail time and a fine of up to $500,000) for unlocking your phone so you can switch cel phone providers. Is this an oversight, you might be wondering? A mere loophole in an otherwise sound piece of legislation? Maybe there is a good explanation! No, of course there isn’t, this is America, it took a special edict [PDF] from the Librarian of Congress to decide that fines and criminal penalties–including jail time and a fine up to $500,000 — applies to cel phone unlocking. Read more on Millions of Americans Can Breathe Sigh Of Relief Now That We Are Safe From Unlocked Phones…
  still big on killer robots though

Obama Administration Crushes Nerds’ Dreams, Will Not Build Death Star

Nerds who petitioned the White House to “Secure resources and funding, and begin construction of a Death Star by 2016″ were dealt a massive wedgie by Paul “Darth” Shawcross Friday. The Chief of the Science and Space Branch of the Office of Management and Budget posted a fairly epic bit of geekery, noting that “The Administration does not support blowing up planets” and carefully including many catchphrases from the popular “Star Trek” series of films, in which the “Death Star” is a sizeable fortress inhabited by venomous space elves of some sort.* Read more on Obama Administration Crushes Nerds’ Dreams, Will Not Build Death Star…
  popularity contests

Cool-Kid Michigan Voters To Bully Nerd-Governor Rick Snyder With Votes

The dumb jocks who elect Michigan governors aren’t happy with current nerd governor Rick Snyder just because he signed a Right To Work bill into law basically before the damn thing was written and otherwise sat on his thumbs as the state legislature conducted a lame duck session so radical that it made Robespierre’s Committee of Public Safety look sane and deliberate in comparison. Read more on Cool-Kid Michigan Voters To Bully Nerd-Governor Rick Snyder With Votes…
  hot purloined documents action

Computer Fiends Kidnap Romney’s 1040 Forms, Demand Fake Nerd Money For Ransom

Mitt Romney’s tax returns: Where are they??? If you have been following the presidential campaign to this point, in which Barack Obama’s birth certificate and Mitt Romney’s tax returns have battled it out for the title of Most Important Boring Government Document In History, you’ve probably assumed that Romney long ago encased these dangerous pieces of paper in lead and then buried them hundreds of feet below is New Hampshire mansion-fortress. But this “savvy businessman” decided to outsource his 1040-storage to the more efficient private sector: if PriceWaterhouseCoopers can keep Oscar votes secret, surely they can keep prying eyes away from Mitt’s financial information, right? EXCEPT some cyber-ruffians apparently just walked into a PWC office and stone cold downloaded the forms, whoops! Now they want … one million dollars, or they’ll release them. And they want a million dollars in a currency that doesn’t even exist! Read more on Computer Fiends Kidnap Romney’s 1040 Forms, Demand Fake Nerd Money For Ransom…
  A Wingnut Of Mars

Spite-Generated Harpy Michelle Malkin Has Thoughts On NASA, Science, Forced Abortions Probably

Nerds everywhere are celebrating last night’s successful landing of NASA’s “Curiosity” rover, breathing a sigh of relief, glorying in the awesome technological achievement, and giddily anticipating that some JPL engineers will almost certainly get laid. But hold on just a damn minute, here: rage-based nonsequitur generator Michelle Malkin would just like to remind all you liberals that you are not allowed to be happy about this. For one thing, she’ll have you know that Barack Obama, the wildly free-spending socialist who just can’t stop spending taxpayers’ dollars on everything, actually proposed a $300 million cut to NASA’s budget, probably so he could spend it on abortions for hippies on welfare. It was so horrible that planetary scientists were drivent to holding bake sales to raise money. For another thing, something-something-something HYPOCRISY!!! Read more on Spite-Generated Harpy Michelle Malkin Has Thoughts On NASA, Science, Forced Abortions Probably…
  the wacky tobacky

Zany Washington Post Marijuana Story Contains Dangerous Levels Of Wordplay

Oh, Washington Post writer Emily Heil, we were going to make excuses for you, assuming you were some poor underpaid intern forced to churn out blog postlets for the Post’s “In The Loop” blog, which is different from all the other blogs the Post has, somehow, there’s probably a logic to it, but then we went to your author page and saw that you have been a journalist for ten years so we feel a need to take you to task for your latest post, about reefer marijuana users. It has so many puns and pot jokes packed into five paragraphs that it makes our head hurt — more than even smoking marijuana, which is an illegal crime, by the way. Read more on Zany Washington Post Marijuana Story Contains Dangerous Levels Of Wordplay…
  you sexy thing

Important Vanity Fair Barack Obama Nerd Love Update: Young Obama Wore Brut

It is going to take weeks to unpack all of this New Yorker-length Vanity Fair article “Portrait Of Obama As A Pretentious Young Man,” but we at Your Wonkette know your carnal and emotional needs, and that is to have regular updates on this, the greatest magazine journalism of its generation. Up now! Read more on Important Vanity Fair Barack Obama Nerd Love Update: Young Obama Wore Brut…
  phriday phun photo phost

A Children’s Treasury of Mr. Spock Being Unimpressed With U.S. Politics

Oh hooray, there is a new Internet Meme, just in time to Make the Internet Laugh Again, during this era of gloom and strife and unspeakable bullshit. Mr. Spock is a demon from the not-actually-popular television melodrama Star Trek, which was a cultural contemporary of the Sid & Marty Kroft show H.R. Pufnstuf and The Velvet Underground and Nico and the comeback presidential campaign of Richard Nixon. It was a time just like now, but without anything memorable. That’s why what we have instead of creative culture in the 2010s (social media) has a new fad starring Spock looking unimpressed with whatever anybody is doing — especially Boehner and Obama and the rest of these Captains of the Titanic. Read more on A Children’s Treasury of Mr. Spock Being Unimpressed With U.S. Politics…
  sweep the legs

Michigan Gov Giving Himself Power To Take Over Cities, Destroy Their Unions

Make no mistake, Michigan has a whole lot of financial problems, pretty much all the time. It’s the only state in the Union that continually bleeds residents more residents than it takes in and thus loses much of its tax base each year. And it’s not just the state government, which has to make cuts to balance its budget each year, that has problems; many municipalities abandoned their police forces and other services and allowed state agencies, such as the state police, to come in and oversee them. But this is something altogether: new Governor Rick Snyder will soon sign a bill that will allow him to take over or even eliminate whole cities or school districts, remove locally elected officials, install puppet leaders or even corporations to take over, and drop all existing contracts the locale is bound to, including, of course, collective bargaining agreements. Read more on Michigan Gov Giving Himself Power To Take Over Cities, Destroy Their Unions…
  one more thing

Obama Tries To Steal Election With Free iPads For Everybody

So we don’t know if you heard but it sounds like the midterm elections might not go so well, for the Democrats! Naturally this is of some concern to Barack Obama, who barely was able to pass any good laws despite controlling an overwhelming congressional majority, so who knows how he’s going to deal with a Republican congress. He could try helping his party win by the traditional methods — “campaigning,” “being popular,” etc. — but remember, Barack Obama came to Washington to change the tone there, to really shake things up, so obviously he’s going to blaze a new path. What will the Democrats’ “October Surprise” be? Will Barack Obama extract a promise from Steve Jobs that every American voter will receive a free iPad? Maybe! Read more on Obama Tries To Steal Election With Free iPads For Everybody…
  e-mail of the day

LOTR Nerd Blasts Your Wonkette For Disrespecting LOTR, Nerds

We didn’t know it was possible for someone who reads actual books and is a nerd to have bad grammar and spelling, but apparently it is, as one of them has written us to tell us that we committed “acts of common stereotyping” in our posts detailing Christine O’Donnell’s beliefs about Lord of the Rings. And then that guy “quoted” a series of racial and homophobic slurs for no reason at all. Surely that will make us feel bad for offending his non-sensical view of the world. Read more on LOTR Nerd Blasts Your Wonkette For Disrespecting LOTR, Nerds…
  elijah would

Christine O’Donnell Reveals Her Feminist Icons: LOTR Characters

Hey, somebody sent us the full article from Christine O’Donnell’s admission yesterday that she had lots of sex in college! Thanks, “Kyle M.” “I’m a conservative woman, but many conservative men really are chauvinistic,” she said in the article, as one of the reasons why now nobody wants to be with her. And also, when asked about watching The Apprentice, she said this: “Number one, I have no social life.” But there is also a strange claim that she “writes columns” that have appeared “mostly” on catholicexchange.com. Except she only wrote one article for that site, and it’s about how the female characters of Lord of the Rings are strong feminist icons. Read more on Christine O’Donnell Reveals Her Feminist Icons: LOTR Characters…
  beam up this snow pea scotty

Today In Politics: Australian Nerds Invent a Tractor Beam

If you read one more thing today before you uninstall your internet, because of boredom, let it be this: Researchers from the Australian National University have announced that they have built a device that can move small particles a meter and a half using only the power of light. Read more on Today In Politics: Australian Nerds Invent a Tractor Beam…
  one whore diamond to rule them all

Fellowship Of the Libtard Will Expose Frodo Tea Baggins’ Racism

A giant racist Tea Bagger shadow has been cast over Middle-Earth (continental United States). And every day this racism grows, because nobody is strong enough to stand up and say, “Stop being racist,” and also Americans are too fat to stand up. And so, races from all corners of the liberal blogosphere have answered the call, probably on Skype. From Lonely Libtard Mountain come the Media Matters Dwarfs, and from H Street the Soros Elves of ThinkProgress. The Men from the NAACP showed up, and also uh, the Ents who hail from New Left Media. Have they all assembled to hear Yglesias the great Wizard recite his famous stories about barbershop deregulation? (No, that was yesterday.) This holy fellowship was formed to vanquish the near-impossible task of “documenting all the racist things Tea Bagger Orcs say/do/write on their cardboard signs and tank tops.” Wait a second, isn’t there an Internet website that ALREADY DOES THIS? Read more on Fellowship Of the Libtard Will Expose Frodo Tea Baggins’ Racism…
  rumors on the internets

Where Is Your Sippy Cup Solidarity, America?

Here is today’s obligatory “No Muslim Churches at Ground Zero” thing. It brings up a lot of great points (i.e. 9/11) so make sure you read it in its entirety. [RedState] Read more on Where Is Your Sippy Cup Solidarity, America?…