Tag Archives: neil cavuto

  Everybody loses

Wingnut Millennial Picks Dumb Fight With Wingnut Boomer On Fox, Hilarity Ensues

Actual screen shot from Fox episode
So this conservative millennial lady who writes for the National Review picked a fight with this conservative boomer fart guy who “reports” for Fox Business Network, about which of their generations are worse. And we are really struggling because who should we root for? Hahah, trick question, we hope they both lose. Let’s see if we get our wish! Read more on Wingnut Millennial Picks Dumb Fight With Wingnut Boomer On Fox, Hilarity Ensues…
  that's not the only reason Rudy

Rudy Giuliani Could Be President Of 9/11 If He Wasn’t Gay Married To Immigrant Abortions

Hey. Remember 9/11?
Rudy Giuliani stopped by the Fox News derp emporium to talk about 9/11 violence in Baltimore, and host Neil Cavuto just wanted to know “Why not you?” for president of America, instead of all these other rinky dink has-beens? Well, the answer is simple: Rudy Giuliani WOULD be a great Republican president, except for how he loves gays, abortion and foreigns so much, which won’t fly with the wingnut GOP base: Read more on Rudy Giuliani Could Be President Of 9/11 If He Wasn’t Gay Married To Immigrant Abortions…
  The poor dears

Caitlyn Jenner Making Wingnuts Feel Shame Tingles In Their No-No Parts

Your reaction to this picture says more about you than it says about Caitlyn Jenner.
Monday, Caitlyn Jenner revealed her transition to the world on the cover of Vanity Fair. Known up to that point as Bruce Jenner, male Olympian and Kardashian-adjacent person, she told her story to journalist Buzz Bissinger, while Annie Leibovitz supplied the pictures. Most people said things like “Wow, she looks beautiful!” and “Good for her!” and, in the case of badass trans actress Laverne Cox, “Yasss Gawd! Werk Caitlyn! Get it!” (Cox also said many other important things, read it.) Read more on Caitlyn Jenner Making Wingnuts Feel Shame Tingles In Their No-No Parts…
  School of Hard Fox

Fox News Host: Why Do Stupid Poors Waste Money Studying Poetry Instead Of Art History?

The real question: Is Fox News hunting or gathering?
Let’s say you went to a corrupt for-profit college that engaged in fraudulent recruiting practices, spent more on advertising than education, and was eventually shut down by the government for noncompliance with requests for data on graduation rates and job placements. You might feel just a little ripped off, mightn’t you? Well, you are clearly What’s Wrong With America Today, because according to Fox’s Neil Cavuto and friends, you’re a whiny victim taker who takes no responsibility for their actions. Read more on Fox News Host: Why Do Stupid Poors Waste Money Studying Poetry Instead Of Art History?…
  dancing horse race politics

Mitt Romney Totally Gonna Run Again In 2016; Wonkette Erections To Never Subside

Will we have Mitt Romney to kick around in 2016 after all? Lately the Romney camp and its allies have been floating so many trial balloons with the conservative media you could attach gondolas and sell tickets for the ride. And we’d buy those tickets, because how much fun would we have watching the Earl of Braintree, His Lord High Hairgel Willington Mittens Forsooth Toothpaste VIII, stumbling his way through a third losing presidential campaign? All of the fun, people. All of it. Read more on Mitt Romney Totally Gonna Run Again In 2016; Wonkette Erections To Never Subside…
  Hunger Games

Neil Cavuto Can’t Get Sportsball Man To Agree That Michelle Obama’s A Big Failure

Eating Cities is clearly a habit of Lizard People
It was a classic Battle of the Agendas on Fox News Monday, as Seattle Seahawks star Russell Wilson, promoting a United Way summer program to feed poor kids while school is out, went up against anchormuppet Neil Cavuto, who tried, unsuccessfully, to get the sportsball man to slag on Michelle Obama and her communist socialist Muslim Nazi efforts to encourage healthy eating. And just like the skilled quarter-of-the-back that he is, Wilson adroitly avoided the sack. Read more on Neil Cavuto Can’t Get Sportsball Man To Agree That Michelle Obama’s A Big Failure…
  dazed and confused

Fox News Was Sane On Two Occasions Yesterday And We Don’t Know How To Feel About It

We’re not sure how we feel about the fact that Fox News had not one, but two, segments yesterday in which their hosts excoriated some of the derpier parts of the right wing. On the one hand, hahahahaha. On the other hand, agreeing with Fox News about things makes us feel icky. Not icky enough that we’re going to skip putting both these clips on full blast, though. Read more on Fox News Was Sane On Two Occasions Yesterday And We Don’t Know How To Feel About It…
  you know he's a democrat because he sexed up the ladies

BREAKING Wonkette EXCLUSIVE: John F. Kennedy Was A Democrat Actually

Today is the 50th anniversary of the day some acting-alone asshole, or maybe a bunch of assholes at the CIA or the FBI or the mob or the men’s-room attendant at the White House went and shot up that nice handsome president and ruined a perfectly good pink dress. You know all that, of course, because we have been commemorating this day for, let’s see, 50 years, with all the minute-by-minute reports and videos and sobbing recollections from our parents and grandparents about where they were that day. But what you probably didn’t know is that President Kennedy was — hold on to your hats, kids, this is gonna shock you — a DEMOCRAT. Yes, it is true. This is an actual true fact. We know, we know. You are utterly confused, because according to the same people who think tax cuts solve everything and gravity is just, like, a theory man, Kennedy was, like Martin Luther King Jr. and Jesus, a Republican. Or at least, if he could zombie himself back to life today, he’d take a look around this socialist Holocausty black-man-in-the-White-House hell hole of a country and declare himself a Republican. The self-hating masochists at Media Matters have compiled a nifty roundup of some of the right’s greatest derps. Let’s dive in and learn some stuff, shall we? Read more on BREAKING Wonkette EXCLUSIVE: John F. Kennedy Was A Democrat Actually…
  hint it is rick perry we would bone rick perry

Which Men On Politichicks’ ‘Hottest Conservatives’ List Would Your Wonkette Do Sex On?

Serious question, Wonkvilleins, because the conservative ladeez of “Politichicks” have put together a Conservative Men Swinging Dicks contest that for real includes Rush Limbaugh, Jonah Goldberg, Joseph Farah and Neil Cavuto, COME ON. (To be fair, those bloated piles of pig anus feature in subcategories like “New Media” and “Rush Limbaugh” and did not final.) But which hot men show enough #1. Intelligence. These guys are brilliant. #2. Courage. They aren’t afraid to stand up to challenges, speak the truth and fight for our country. #3: Passion (See above) #4: Sense of humor. Self-deprecating gets you extra points. #5: Looks. This can be either conventionally handsome or someone who simply exudes sexiness that we would actually want to get all nasty up in them? (Yes, in them. “Santorum” isn’t Dan Savage’s only neologism.) Read more on Which Men On Politichicks’ ‘Hottest Conservatives’ List Would Your Wonkette Do Sex On?…
  grab yer popcorn

Watch RI Senate Candidate Do Creepy Mind Control On Innocent Child

Here, HERE is how the opening to the Sarah Palin Is Eaten By Moon Nazis movie sequel will start: there will be a guy with a silly name like “Barry Hinckley,” a Republican candidate for the United States Senate who looks vaguely like a post-meltdown Charlie Sheen, growing flustered when his prop 5-year-old child malfunctions under questioning from Fox News poop chute Neil Cavuto. “Are you worried about the debt?” Cavuto asks. “Um, no,” says the kid. Shit. Dad’s going to have to rewire the kid ON AIR. How does he do it? Scroll forward to around 2:44 and then see if you can tell us what the hell you just saw. Read more on Watch RI Senate Candidate Do Creepy Mind Control On Innocent Child…
  how to shut rick perry up

Fox News Turd Says Rick Perry Is Just Like Occupy Wall Street Protesters

Swollen imp-turd Neil Cavuto had Rick Perry on the Fox News business slash-fiction channel the other day, and Rick Perry did his cum-mumble about bailing out Wall Street or whatever rhymes he bit off Ron Paul’s eyebrow, and then the swollen imp-turd Neil Cavuto says, “You sound like one of those Occupy Wall Streeters.” And then Rick Perry is speechless, for what seems like hours. Read more on Fox News Turd Says Rick Perry Is Just Like Occupy Wall Street Protesters…
  surprising everyone

Michael Steele Ain’t Got No Money For Moderates In the Hip-Hop GOP, Baby

Here’s magnificent clown Michael Steele on the Fox News, straight up talkin’ to that Neil Cavuto about the money, baby, the GOP purse. Cavuto asks him if he will withhold giving primary campaign funds to the three Republican Senators who voted for the stimulus, and Steele replies, “Perhaps.” Just kidding, Michael Steele would never give an un-jazzed response like that. He says, “Oh, yes, I’m always open to everything, baby, absolutely.” They call it a Big Tent, motherfucker. [Greg Sargent] Read more on Michael Steele Ain’t Got No Money For Moderates In the Hip-Hop GOP, Baby…
  good sweet jesus god man!

THE BLACKS DID IT: Speaking of Neil Cavuto, here he is blaming the entire financial crisis on Fannie & Freddie loaning to “minorities and risky folks.” Why did Michael Steele Barack Obama lock into mortgages he couldn’t afford? [Media Matters] Read more on …
  es martyr

Fox News Cuts Off Dokter Ron Paul For His SECRETS!

Here’s Ron Paul calling in to Fox News’ Neil Cavuto to talk about the financial crisis, TELLING HIM THE SECRETS THAT ONLY HE KNOWS, until the phone line gets fuzzy and the call is lost. The Paultards, as you may have guessed, do not consider this a coincidence. Please read all of the YouTube comments, like this one: “Sounds just like the fuzz that came on when the BBC was announcing LIVE that the Solomon Building WTC7 had collapsed yet it was standing in the background (window behind the reporter). A full 20 minutes before it fell. Suddenly the feed becomes FUZZY and they LOSE the feed.” [YouTube] Read more on Fox News Cuts Off Dokter Ron Paul For His SECRETS!…
 

Insane Harriet Christian Has More Thoughts About ‘The Blacks’

Here is nutball Harriet Christian, the “older white woman” and New Yorker famous for ranting on the Internet about how the DNC is giving its nomination to an “inadequate black man.” She tells Fox News icon Neil Cavuto that Obama’s victory is illegitimate because “99% of the blacks don’t even know why they’re voting for him.” Touché! [YouTube] Read more on Insane Harriet Christian Has More Thoughts About ‘The Blacks’…