Tag: neil cavuto

History's Greatest Monster, 2016 Edition

Donald Trump Has Had Just About Enough Of Hillary Clinton Raping All These Women!

We thought Hillary was too busy doing MURDER to also run a war on women, too. But if you want something done, ask a busy person!
Actual photograph

Guy Who Said The Law Can Crush Your Child’s Testicles Boo-Hooing Supreme Court Has ‘Seized Power’

John Yoo is BACK Y'ALL. The man who wrote Justice Department memos authorizing George W. Bush to use torture -- including that there was nothing cruel or unusual about crushing your child's testicles in front of you to induce...
We pick neither.

Trump, Cruz Gently Ponder: Whose Momma Is A Dirtier New York Values Foreign?

In the lead-up to Thursday night's 74th Annual Daily Republican Debate, we were really hoping for a balls-out birthering cage match between Donald Trump and Ted Cruz and WE GOT IT! Fox Business Network debate host Neil Cavuto asked Cruz to...
Actual screen shot from Fox episode

Wingnut Millennial Picks Dumb Fight With Wingnut Boomer On Fox, Hilarity Ensues

So this conservative millennial lady who writes for the National Review picked a fight with this conservative boomer fart guy who "reports" for Fox Business Network, about which of their generations are worse. And we are really struggling because who should we...
It wasn't his case, but 9/11

Rudy Giuliani Could Be President Of 9/11 If He Wasn’t Gay Married To Immigrant Abortions

Rudy Giuliani stopped by the Fox News derp emporium to talk about 9/11 violence in Baltimore, and host Neil Cavuto just wanted to know "Why not you?" for president of America, instead of all these other rinky dink has-beens?...
Your reaction to this picture says more about you than it says about Caitlyn Jenner.

Caitlyn Jenner Making Wingnuts Feel Shame Tingles In Their No-No Parts

Monday, Caitlyn Jenner revealed her transition to the world on the cover of Vanity Fair. Known up to that point as Bruce Jenner, male Olympian and Kardashian-adjacent person, she told her story to journalist Buzz Bissinger, while Annie Leibovitz supplied...
The real question: Is Fox News hunting or gathering?

Fox News Host: Why Do Stupid Poors Waste Money Studying Poetry Instead Of Art History?

Let's say you went to a corrupt for-profit college that engaged in fraudulent recruiting practices, spent more on advertising than education, and was eventually shut down by the government for noncompliance with requests for data on graduation rates and...

Mitt Romney Totally Gonna Run Again In 2016; Wonkette Erections To Never Subside

Will we have Mitt Romney to kick around in 2016 after all? Lately the Romney camp and its allies have been floating so many trial balloons with the conservative media you could attach gondolas and sell tickets for the...
Eating Cities is clearly a habit of Lizard People

Neil Cavuto Can’t Get Sportsball Man To Agree That Michelle Obama’s A Big Failure

It was a classic Battle of the Agendas on Fox News Monday, as Seattle Seahawks star Russell Wilson, promoting a United Way summer program to feed poor kids while school is out, went up against anchormuppet Neil Cavuto, who...

Fox News Was Sane On Two Occasions Yesterday And We Don’t Know How To Feel About It

We're not sure how we feel about the fact that Fox News had not one, but two, segments yesterday in which their hosts excoriated some of the derpier parts of the right wing. On the one hand, hahahahaha. On...

BREAKING Wonkette EXCLUSIVE: John F. Kennedy Was A Democrat Actually

Today is the 50th anniversary of the day some acting-alone asshole, or maybe a bunch of assholes at the CIA or the FBI or the mob or the men's-room attendant at the White House went and shot up that...

Which Men On Politichicks’ ‘Hottest Conservatives’ List Would Your Wonkette Do Sex On?

Serious question, Wonkvilleins, because the conservative ladeez of "Politichicks" have put together a Conservative Men Swinging Dicks contest that for real includes Rush Limbaugh, Jonah Goldberg, Joseph Farah and Neil Cavuto, COME ON. (To be fair, those bloated piles...

Watch RI Senate Candidate Do Creepy Mind Control On Innocent Child

Here, HERE is how the opening to the Sarah Palin Is Eaten By Moon Nazis movie sequel will start: there will be a guy with a silly name like "Barry Hinckley," a Republican candidate for the United States Senate...

Fox News Turd Says Rick Perry Is Just Like Occupy Wall Street Protesters

Swollen imp-turd Neil Cavuto had Rick Perry on the Fox News business slash-fiction channel the other day, and Rick Perry did his cum-mumble about bailing out Wall Street or whatever rhymes he bit off Ron Paul's eyebrow, and then...

Michael Steele Ain’t Got No Money For Moderates In the Hip-Hop GOP, Baby

Here's magnificent clown Michael Steele on the Fox News, straight up talkin' to that Neil Cavuto about the money, baby, the GOP purse. Cavuto asks him if he will withhold giving primary campaign funds to the three Republican Senators...

THE BLACKS DID IT: Speaking of Neil Cavuto, here he is blaming the entire financial crisis on Fannie & Freddie loaning to "minorities and risky folks." Why did Michael Steele Barack Obama lock into mortgages he couldn't afford?