Like the “freak” Marilyn on teevee’s The Munsters, Lauren Bush brings unwanted poise, grace and beauty to a crime dynasty known for boors, thugs and invasions. MORE »

Are you sick of Bushes yet? Because today’s New York Observer brings us yet another one: Miss Ashley Walker* Bush, Debutard.

Like the rest of the umpteenth generation of Bushes, she suffers a bit from over-breeding, as well as that insane insistence on mentioning Texas, how she’s from Texas, how she lives in Texas, and how Southern she is in every sentence.

Oh, and guess what guys — her escort was Pierce. You can read the NYO piece for the exciting play-by-play account of the “Texas Dip” curtsey (illegal in nine states!), we’ll try to explain why you needn’t be too worried about Pierce and Ashley just yet.

MORE »

Mary and Heather Cheney with their infant baby girl, Suri.

The Cheney Dynasty has a few problems: Bad hearts and homosexuality are so prevalent that America’s children are in danger of not even having a Cheney to oppress them in the future.

The available evidence strongly suggests a member of the Bush Dynasty provided the sperm for Mary’s “virgin” birth. The Bushes reliably produce children and basically live forever. But which lucky “member” of the Bush Family helped the Cheney bloodline? Take our scientific poll, after the jump.

MORE »

Exploiting inter-personal power dynamics to one’s advantage is what Washington is all about — Neil Bush knows it and has mastered the art. And while John Negroponte takes it one day at a time, Mark Warner and John King get bossed around by their kids. These, plus Ken Mehlman on his downward spiral, using Google Earth to find Barbara Bush, and avoiding the notorious Evan Bayh stink-palm, behind the curtain.

MORE »

George W. Bush isn’t the only failed businessman in the family. His semi-retarded little brother Neil, also a known cokehead, has been involved in so many dirty deals and financial collapses that he’s rarely allowed around the Clan in public.

But behind the scenes, Neil Bush is still doing what Bushes do best: using family connections to shovel taxpayer money into his own pockets.

We’ll tell you why the new Business Week story on Brother Neil is headlined “No Bush Left Behind,” after the jump.

MORE »