Tag Archives: neighbors

  fumbling towards ecstasy

Solange Beats Up Jay-Z, Donald Trump Is Sad, And All The TV You Can Handle In These Happy Links

Let’s get ready to Happy! We do not feel good about Solange literally trying to kick Jay-Z’s ass, because we cannot handle any discord in the Knowles clan. John Oliver reminded us that it is blindingly stupid that one in four Americans do not believe climate change is real. Read more on Solange Beats Up Jay-Z, Donald Trump Is Sad, And All The TV You Can Handle In These Happy Links…
  la jolla: year zero

Ann Romney Not Worrying Her Beautiful Mind About Neighbors’ Unhappiness With Grotesque Beach Mansion

In her quest to build a modest 11,000-square-foot cottage not in anyone’s way at all right there on that public beach, Ann Romney is starting to sound a little like America’s most favoritest belovedest totally great lady, one Barbara “gentle murmurs” Bush. Neighbors may be unhappy over the Romneys’ … hmmm … lack of politesse (THE ROMNEYS??? THE FUCK YOU SAY!) in throwing their shitfits at the San Diego City Council for not getting their permits fast enough. But Ann knows in her heart of hearts that other people’s feelings don’t matter at all! Read more on Ann Romney Not Worrying Her Beautiful Mind About Neighbors’ Unhappiness With Grotesque Beach Mansion…
  why are the sources of anti-semitism

Things We Learned From Our Neighbor Last Night, About ‘The Jews’

The Jews funded WWI so they could spread out. The Jews took advantage of Germany and took all its wealth and if they hadn’t, how would one maniac be able to convince an entire country to kill them? We wouldn’t have a problem with race in this country if the Media (Jews) did/did not point out that armed robbers are black. Every Jew our neighbor has ever met was a cool dude. He’s just asking questions, bro. He’s just asking questions! Like why does everyone hate the Jews if they aren’t stirring shit up? Global warming is caused by the sun. There is a race of blue-eyed, blond-haired tall aliens in the middle of our hollow earth. Read more on Things We Learned From Our Neighbor Last Night, About ‘The Jews’…
  a time to kill a chair

Texas Patriot Lynches Obama Chair

If lynches were wishes, the president would be white. A nice patriotic fella down in Austin, Texas, has taken to protesting our Kenyan usurper president in the most calm and rational way possible: lynching an empty chair. Via Katherine Haenschen: I called the homeowner to ask about his display, citing my concerns as a fellow Austinite. He replied, and I quote, “I don’t really give a damn whether it disturbs you or not. You can take [your concerns] and go straight to hell and take Obama with you. I don’t give a shit. If you don’t like it, don’t come down my street.” Ironically, the homeowner in question, Bud Johnson, won “Yard of the Month” in August 2010 from his Homeowners Association. I guess his display was a little different that month? Correct, lady. It was August 2010, at the head of Teatard Mania, so he hung a man made of teabags with a “watermelon flavor” sign around the neck and, in case you didn’t get it, a small sign underneath that said “The Slow Drip of Liberty” and then next to it, “For Whites.” SUBTLETY. Read more on Texas Patriot Lynches Obama Chair…
  the american dream

Christine O’Donnell’s Ex-Neighbors Wish She Didn’t Have Sex So Loudly

According to people who used to be Christine O’Donnell’s neighbors, she was sort of odd but nice, perhaps as one would expect. “She would lounge on her front porch in her pajamas some weekends, smoking cigars and drinking wine with a girlfriend.” But she also had a man over her house all the time, and a neighbor complained about this, because “the walls upstairs are very thin.” Surprise! Christine O’Donnell seems to be sexually active and now seems to live with a her new boyfriend, who is described as “a heavy-set Christian rocker with a pudding-cup beard,” that man at left sitting sexily on a tiny tractor. And a neighbor says she never showed up at the local Catholic Church until she was running for office. So basically she is a hypocrite on every point of her platform, which according to the media is being against sex and for Jesus. Read more on Christine O’Donnell’s Ex-Neighbors Wish She Didn’t Have Sex So Loudly…
 

John McCain Solicits Creepy Videos Of Your Neighbors

Here is John McCain’s campaign manager, Rick Davis, looking into a camera and going cross-eyed with the effort of reading off some cue cards. He wants you to know that John McCain is holding a contest, in which you can make a video about your Selfless American Neighbor! And if you win it, you and your neighbor will be punished with compulsory attendance at the Republican National Convention and a public teabagging courtesy of the presumptive nominee. This is the most tragically awkward video in the history of YouTube. [John McCain 2008] Read more on John McCain Solicits Creepy Videos Of Your Neighbors…
 

Outraged Nativists Reclaim Mexico From Absolut Vodka

The rampant, raging Absolut vodka controversy took on new dimensions this weekend when a pack of insane nativists vowed to boycott Absolut and demanded the firing of the employee who approved an ad that encourages the Mexicans to take over the Northern Hemisphere. To be fair, it is well known that The Illegals and their cohort take most of their political marching orders from liquor ads. Read more on Outraged Nativists Reclaim Mexico From Absolut Vodka…
 

Mark Penn Ruins Georgetown

It turns out that Mark Penn, the lardbot numbers swami who singlehandedly sank Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign, can multitask by ruining several things at once. He recently turned his focus to the swank DC neighborhood of Georgetown, which he is ruining through a campaign of endless construction. Read more on Mark Penn Ruins Georgetown…
 

Nobody Wants To Live Next Door To Any Presidential Candidate

A shocking new poll by Zillow.com — that site you stopped checking after your house became worthless — shows that nobody really wants to live anywhere near the power-mad scumbags running for president. Asked if they’d like to have Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Rudy Giuliani, Fred Thompson, Mike Huckabee, John Edwards, John McCain, Mitt Romney, Dennis Kucinich, Joe Biden or Ron Paul as a next-door neighbor, the top choice was “None of them.” Read more on Nobody Wants To Live Next Door To Any Presidential Candidate…