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Posts Tagged ‘nebraska’

GOD

Friday, September 21st, 2007

Wacky Nebraska-state Senator Ernie Chambers sued God for being a terrorist, and the court in Omaha has already received two responses from two different Gods making the usual Cheney-esque claims of immunity from prosecution. [My Fox]


RELIGION

Nebraska State Senator Sues Eric Clapton

Tuesday, September 18th, 2007

God said to Abraham, kill me a son... - WonketteIn order to make the point that there is no such thing as a “frivolous” lawsuit, Nebraska State Senator Ernie Chambers has filed the most fivolous lawsuit ever, suing God himself. Chambers “seeks a permanent injunction ordering God to cease certain harmful activities and the making of terroristic threats.” While his confused political point is pretty much impossible to understand, Chambers’ suit itself is hilarious. Seriously, look at the details from the filing, it’s like a Randy Newman song come to life: MORE »


SENATE

Senate to Lose Third of ‘Chuck Caucus’

Monday, September 10th, 2007

Nebraska Senator and cranky old anti-war Republican Chuck Hagel has finally made that big announcement he promised us months ago. Turns out that instead of running for President he’s going to make good on his term limit promise and retire from electoral politics forever or until he gets bored and decides to run for something again in a couple years. This leaves the Senate in utter disarray with only Senators Grassley and Schumer representing the all-important “Chuck” constituency. MORE »


GOSSIP

Gossip Roundup: Jacks

Wednesday, February 7th, 2007

* Heard on the Hill: “Why did Rep. Dan Burton (R-Ind.) miss 19 House votes over four days in mid-January? He was playing golf in Palm Springs. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: The MPAA brought in Will Smith to make lawmakers like Hollywood again… Sufjan Stevens drank at the Watergate. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Joaquin Phoenix stood next to Dennis Kucinich at a Department of Peace press conference, refused to say anything. [Examiner]
* The Sleuth: Nebraska odd couple Chuck Hagel and Ben Nelson are getting along! Finally! [WP]
* Shenanigans: Democratic Whip James Clyburn loves Jack Daniels soooo much they asked him to be their spokesman… Sen. Debbie Stabenow ripped off the Nicholson monologue from A Few Good Men on the floor of the Senate. [Politico]


DICK CHENEY

Rumors On The Internets: Narcoleptic Narcissists

Monday, January 29th, 2007

* It wasn’t just Walnuts — half the Senate was passed out in their seats during SOTU. [David All]
* New blog is dedicated to the nut-mouthed wonder. [The Real McCain]
* Barack Obama has more MySpace friends than any other candidate. Barack Obama’s MySpace friends are just as retarded as every other candidate. [Personal Democracy]
* Dick Cheney always sees, “the glass half full … of poison!” [Think Progress]
* Brainless Hill staffers are easy to find. This soulless group took some digging. [TPM Muckracker]
* Nebraska’s new “terror-free” gas station is the redneck equivalent of your hybrid. [Passport]
* John Edwards tells Jason DeParle, “That’s not a house — this is a house.” [Carolina Journal]


CAMPAIGNS

Future Pagefucker Gains Late Wonkette Endorsement

Monday, November 6th, 2006

REPUBLICANS

Energizing the Base

Monday, November 6th, 2006

Today we escape, we escape - WonketteAfter the break, etc.

MORE »


BILL FRIST

Hill Hair Watch: The Hall of Fame

Monday, February 13th, 2006

In our search for most obvious rugs in Congress, we left out two audience favorites — Bill Frist and Trent Lott.
fristlott.jpg
Frist, left, demands that Senator Leahy read his note aloud before the whole Senate. Lott, right, wears the scalp of late Senator Strom Thurmond in order to absorb his powers. MORE »