Tag Archives: nbc

  Yoogest Classiest Broad Brush Out There

Donald Trump Dimly Aware That Messicans Don’t Like Being Called Rapists And Murderers

Most accurate Trump image yet
Watch the latest video at video.foxnews.com Donald Trump Isn’t backing off from his insistence that the borders are completely open and that most of those crossing are criminals, thugs, and thuggish criminals, but he is at least becoming vaguely aware that this stance may not be universally loved. On Fox & Friends Saturday, Trump took the opportunity to explain that his immigration views were vindicated because a man who’d been deported five times was charged with murder in San Francisco last week, which simply proves that illegal immigrants are bad news. Read more on Donald Trump Dimly Aware That Messicans Don’t Like Being Called Rapists And Murderers…
  Twitter rant forthcoming

Donald Trump Fired From NBC For Being YOOOOOOOGE Racist Lick Knob

Unemployed.
  Sad news for all of you Donald Trump-lovers. (Those exist, we think?) The purging of Donald Trump is no longer limited to mean Spanish-speaking teevee types. After Univision decided it would no longer be airing Miss Universe pageants owned by men who call Mexican immigrants drug-criming rapists, Trump reacted with all the maturity and grace we’ve come to expect, threatening to sue the network and banning Univision employees from one of his gauche resorts in Miami. Well, we guess we should get ready for another rage-sharting Twitter rant from Trump, because NBC done fired his ass: Read more on Donald Trump Fired From NBC For Being YOOOOOOOGE Racist Lick Knob…
  Here have some news n stuff

Feminists Murder Patriarchy Again, For Ten Dollar Bill

That didn't take long
Make some celebratory sounds, ladies, because we did it! We killed the patriarchy! We’re getting so good at this, one day we might even have equal representation in government. One day. In a century, maybe. But for now, we get 10 bucks: Read more on Feminists Murder Patriarchy Again, For Ten Dollar Bill…
  What year is it again?

NBC Affiliate Decides Republican Navy Doctor Too Gay For Delicate Tennessee Viewers

So controversial.
Did you know marriage equality is a mainstream thing these days? Polling released Monday shows that fully 56 percent of Americans are more than ready for the Supreme Court to do gay marriage to the entire country, and those numbers grow every single year. So you’d think a commercial featuring a gay Republican military doctor who really wants to marry his boyfriend wouldn’t be considered “controversial.” OH BUT IT IS! At least for WRCB, an NBC affiliate in Chattanooga, Tennessee: Read more on NBC Affiliate Decides Republican Navy Doctor Too Gay For Delicate Tennessee Viewers…
  Science: Pretty Good Except For The Fake Parts

Ben Carson Lays Down Some Science For You (Depending On Your Value For ‘Science’)

We really can all get along. *CHOMP!*
The Liberal Media tried to Gotcha! Conservahero Ben Carson again this weekend, and once more he escaped the Logic Snares set for him by secularist tricksters. He is not going to fall for your little traps, LIEberals! On NBC’s Meet the Press Sunday, Chuck Todd asked Carson how “science and religion, in your mind, coexist” — an obvious attempt to try to get him to talk about Evolution, which as any good Christian knows is poppycock. Read more on Ben Carson Lays Down Some Science For You (Depending On Your Value For ‘Science’)…
  Glad we solved that problem forever

2014: The Year All Rape Ended Forever Because It Never Existed Obviously

Nope, no rape news this year
In the early days of 2014, the world was a simpler, happier place. Bill Cosby was still a kindly, grandfatherly funnyman and not a horrible monster rapist, and we all enjoyed playfully teasing him about his sweaters and Jell-O Pudding Pops until the joke was entirely played out and stale and not funny anymore, seriously, enough. Read more on 2014: The Year All Rape Ended Forever Because It Never Existed Obviously…
  We Don't Interrupt This Program...

Today’s Top Network Excuses For Not Running Obama’s Immigration Speech (1. He’s Black) Updated!

Now it's a few hundred, and still nothin' on.
Update/new development: Yr. Wonkette is psychic once again! (see end of post) Barry Bamz is going to single-handedly overthrow the rule of law tonight, but the teevee networks have decided not to carry the speech, because come on, it’s only a presidential speech, and those are lame. Or maybe they’re too partisan, according to some guy who writes a really overheated column at Politico: Read more on Today’s Top Network Excuses For Not Running Obama’s Immigration Speech (1. He’s Black) Updated!…
  If It's Sunday It's A Good Thing There's A 2:00 Replay

Scott Walker: Only ‘Fresh, Organic’ GOP Governors Can Beat Moldy Old Hillary

We have to admit, Wonketteers, that we did not stick to our Chuck Todd diet. We really did intend to get up every Sunday for Meet the Press to see Chuck’s tough questioning of the Biggest Names in News and stay in shape with his touchscreen map upper-body workouts, but it wasn’t until his first show after the Democrats were sent to live on the farm upstate that he enticed us to come back by landing an EXCLUSIVE interview with Scott Walker, King of Wisconsin. Read more on Scott Walker: Only ‘Fresh, Organic’ GOP Governors Can Beat Moldy Old Hillary…
  first day of school

Chuck Todd Meets The Press, Needs To Improve Listening Skills

Chuck Todd is so excited, you guys! It’s his first week as the new host of Meet the Press. That other guy with two first names failed his way into a $4 million buyout and NBC, looking to bring back the powerhouse once steered by Tim Russert, took the opportunity to slip Tim’s son Luke and Morning Misery Joe Scarborough in along with Chuck to lend the proper gravitas. We couldn’t wait to see Chuck’s debut Sunday morning, by which we mean we slept in and caught the late rerun. Read more on Chuck Todd Meets The Press, Needs To Improve Listening Skills…
  Shameless self-promotion

Meet The Press Is About To Get So Much Worse; You Need This Coffee Mug More Than Ever

Buy it now
Do you need yet one more reason to ignore NBC’s “Meet the Press” because you can’t get enough of John McCain and the weekly parade of the same old white dudes saying the same old white dude things? What the heck is wrong with you? FINE, be that way. Have one more reason. Heck, have two, courtesy of the New York Post’s Page Six: Read more on Meet The Press Is About To Get So Much Worse; You Need This Coffee Mug More Than Ever…
  Your morning cup of wut?

It’s Labor Day (In Case You Didn’t Know) And Other News You Can Maybe Use

If it's Sunday ... it's probably still going to suck
Everyone enjoy having the day off, except for those of you who don’t have the day off. Also, enjoy some news. Now that NBC has gotten rid of that old host of “Meet the Press” — David something? Who can remember? — the whole gang is real excited about Chuck Todd. Sundays are going to be so awesome now! Read more on It’s Labor Day (In Case You Didn’t Know) And Other News You Can Maybe Use…
  If it's Sunday David Gregory's sitting around unemployed

David Gregory Booted From NBC, At Least He Has $4 Million To Keep Him Company

This is definitely the saddest news of the day. No, the week. No, the century. Basically, it is the saddest thing ever. EVER. NBC’s David Gregory, best known for asking really great questions on “Meet the Press” and getting his objective journalist on by dancing with Karl Rove at the 2007 nerd prom, has been sacked. Ousted. Booted. Shit-canned. Read more on David Gregory Booted From NBC, At Least He Has $4 Million To Keep Him Company…
  who mourns for a dimwit?

Stupid Constitution Won’t Let George Zimmerman Sue NBC For Being Mean To George Zimmerman

Poor George Zimmerman just can’t seem to catch a break. Despite his best efforts, there are still people who don’t see him as a hero. Worse, his fledgling career as an artist seems to have stalled out, and while plenty of people might want to punch him right in the nose, he can’t do it for money. And now, he can’t even look forward to taking the LIEberal Media to the cleaners for unfairly editing his 911 call, because his lawsuit against NBC has been tossed. Poor guy. It’s as if the only thing that went well for him was getting away with shooting a black kid to death. As the song asks, is that all there is? Read more on Stupid Constitution Won’t Let George Zimmerman Sue NBC For Being Mean To George Zimmerman…
  drink the pain away

Were You Not Ready To Kill Yourself Yet This Morning?

Remember when we all liked Chelsea Clinton, because Rush Limbaugh was SUCH a PIECE OF SHIT to her little gangly pre-teen self? WHO DOES THAT? Hahaha, we just answered our own question: drug-addicted sociopaths do that, that is who! And then she grew up to be such a lovely young lady! (Look! At right!) But then she got that stupid made-up job at NBC, and we all realized she is an actual charisma black hole? Read more on Were You Not Ready To Kill Yourself Yet This Morning?…
  If it's Sunday it's gee what else is on TV?

NBC Hires Expert To Figure Out Mystery of Why David Gregory’s Show Sucks So Hard

If you are a Reglar ‘Merican person who has occasionally flipped to NBC’s Meet the Press on a hungover Sunday morning, thinking the vapid tones of whatever panel of white men plus John McCain is appearing that day might somehow relieve your headache and nausea, only to find it worsened when you were compelled to throw things at your television and scream “THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS!!!!” then you already know exactly what is wrong with NBC’s has-been Sunday talk show. Like every other Sunday morning talk show, it is, at best, the same rotating cast of a dozen or so professional beltway pontificators explaining how Democrats are like THIS, but Republicans are like THAT, with the occasional “some say” or “both sides do it” interruption from the milquetoast moderator — in this case, David Gregory, who plays a Very Serious Journalist on the tee vee, even though he’s really always wanted to be a dancer. Sometimes, he awakens from his half-coma enough to journosplain who is and isn’t a JournalistTM, as defined by David Gregory. (It feels a tad superfluous, even malicious, to remind you once more than David Gregory was a back-up dancer to Karl Rove at the annual gathering of Very Serious Journalists Stroking Themselves Approvingly in Tuxedos, also known as the White House Correspondents Dinner. It is superfluous and malicious, but we just did it anyway because Jesus H. Christ, if you are a back-up dancer to “MC Rove,” you do not ever EVER NEVER NOT EVER get to define who is and is not a journalist.) If, however, you are NBC, you are apparently shocked and amazed that Gregory’s show is getting its ass ratings-kicked by, among others, Pretend to Face the Nation, hosted by practically dead Bob Schieffer. How could this once great show — and by once great, of course, we merely mean that it used to be the top rated show on Sunday when it was hosted by Tim Russert, who at least had a personality, plus a chalkboard — no longer be revered or, like, watched? Time to call in A Expert: Last year, the network undertook an unusual assessment of the 43-year-old journalist, commissioning a psychological consultant to interview his friends and even his wife. The idea, according to a network spokeswoman, Meghan Pianta, was “to get perspective and insight from people who know him best.”* We’re going to take a quick commercial break so we can all die of laughter. When we return, for those who managed to survive, we’ll try to imagine exactly how this “consultation” works. Then we will die of laughter some more. Read more on NBC Hires Expert To Figure Out Mystery of Why David Gregory’s Show Sucks So Hard…
  four and twenty blackburns baked in a nye

Marsha Blackburn Wins Climate Change ‘Debate’ With Bill Nye! (Does Not Fling Actual Poo)

So the slightly hyped Big Climate Change “Debate” between science education advocate and teevee guy Bill Nye and Tennessee congresspillock Marsha Blackburn on Sunday’s Meet The Press actually turned out to be a whopping 13-minute segment, which was short enough that no real details could be explained, yet long enough to make a viewer yearn for the sweet release of death. The only good thing to be said for it was that host David Gregory framed it as a debate on climate change policy, although of course Blackburn predictably insisted the very question of human-caused climate change is still open. We suspect that in 2114 people boating through the canals of Nuevo Miami will still be arguing about whether the evidence is sufficient yet. Read more on Marsha Blackburn Wins Climate Change ‘Debate’ With Bill Nye! (Does Not Fling Actual Poo)…
  blackburn singin' in the dread of nye

Bill Nye, Science Guy, To Perform His Most Dangerous Feat Yet

Fresh off his not-really-a-debate (though he won) appearance with creationist Ken Ham, Science Guy Bill Nye will take on another leading proponent of nonscience, Tennessee Rep. Marsha Blackburn, in a not-really-a-debate appearance on this Sunday’s Meet The Press on NBC. As we said about the Ham On Nye show, it’s not really going to prove anything, and more to the point, unlike questions like “is Neil Degrasse Tyson cuter than Carl Sagan?” or “Was Alexander Hamilton a good President?”* science is simply not a matter of opinion. On the other hand, Bill Nye is super awesome and probably better at communicating about science to a popluar audience than a real climate scientist would be, and we think it will be fun to watch him take Blackburn’s illogic apart. So as infotainment, it will be worth watching, even though we share most of Wonket alumnus Alex Pareene’s qualms that by even holding the “debate,” Meet the Press “is responsible for taking the anti-science side seriously enough to present it as a legitimate and defensible view.” But hell, that’s pretty much where a lot of viewers already are. They could only benefit from hearing it from a guy who’s pretty adept at explaining how science works, and it’s not like refusing to engage the anti-science crowd has shown them to be illegitimate. Better to take their nonsense apart and make it clear why it’s nonsense. Read more on Bill Nye, Science Guy, To Perform His Most Dangerous Feat Yet…
  jello?

Bill Cosby Pal Does Not See Why Bill Cosby’s 14 Rape Allegations Would Preclude A New NBC Show, No Big Deal

Fun story! If the allegations from, let’s see, carry the 1, FOURTEEN WOMEN are true, beloved entertainer Bill Cosby is a pig serial rapist. Like, the rape-rape kind. Like, over decades. Bill Cosby also has a show in development at NBC. Is this a problem? Of course this is not a problem. Read more on Bill Cosby Pal Does Not See Why Bill Cosby’s 14 Rape Allegations Would Preclude A New NBC Show, No Big Deal…
  This is CNN being CNN

CNN Tries To Be Even More Worser By Wooing Jay Leno’s Chin To Make Bad Jokes On It

In case you’re one of those people who wonders to yourself, Gosh, how could cable “news” possibly get even more unbearably unbearable, heeeeeeeeeeeeere’s your answer: Jay Leno. CNN President Jeff Zucker said earlier this month that he wants CNN to have more of “an attitude and a take” and to have it compete not just with Fox News and MSNBC but with the Discovery and History channels. […] Zucker appears to be making headways in that direction by meeting with “The Tonight Show” host Jay Leno about possibly joining CNN after his run with NBC ends[.] Let’s go to a quick commercial break to laugh our asses off that (a) Jay Leno; (2) the History Channel is Zucker’s inspiration for ‘tude; and (c) JAY FUCKING LENO? We has a confuse because we thought Wolf Blitzer was CNN’s No. 1 funny man, but perhaps Zucker means he’s looking to hire someone who is trying to be funny, not just doing it all accidental like. In which case, perhaps Leno is a splendiferous choice, because he sure does try to be funny. Let’s just consider all the trying-to-be-funny we can look forward to as we hold our vomit buckets close if Zucker bribes Leno’s chin hard enough, shall we? Read more on CNN Tries To Be Even More Worser By Wooing Jay Leno’s Chin To Make Bad Jokes On It…
  a real apology would end obamacare and refund the koch brothers

Barack Obama Apologizes For Slaughtering Millions With Private Companies’ Insurance Cancellations, Refuses to Kill Obamacare

Here is President B. Barry Bamz McMuslin apologizing for the confusion resulting from his “If you like your plan, you can keep it” LIE, because when he said it, he didn’t anticipate how much people really liked their seriously crap insurance. In an interview with NBC’s Chuck Todd, the President acknowledged that for people getting cancellation letters from their insurance companies, the news is distressing, but also noted that most of them will be able to find “a better deal than they have now.” And of course, it doesn’t help that insurance companies are routinely offering over-priced “replacement” plans that cost much more than what may be available on the exchanges, without telling consumers that they may be able to find better deals — a problem Barry doesn’t mention, because he’s Being Diplomatic. Read more on Barack Obama Apologizes For Slaughtering Millions With Private Companies’ Insurance Cancellations, Refuses to Kill Obamacare…
  you ain't seen nothin yet

Debt Ceiling Dangles Like Giant Turd Over Global Economy

So, kids, are we having fun with the government shutdown yet? From dieting kids, to cancer kids, to forced family vacations, isn’t Congress just the best?!? American exceptionalism at its finest! However, the fun is just beginning. Because while a government shutdown only causes headaches and pain for U.S. Americans, Congress is determined to share such misery with the rest of the world with another self-made crisis: the debt ceiling! Because sharing is caring! What’s this debt ceiling, you ask. Well, it is the statutory limit of borrowing for the Treasury Department, kind of like a credit card limit, but a super-platinum one where you get to set your own limit. If we can set our own limit, how can there possibly be a problem? Silly Wonkeroos, we have but one answer for you: House GOP. Let’s wonksplore, shall we?  Read more on Debt Ceiling Dangles Like Giant Turd Over Global Economy…