Tag: nbc

Dear Media: HI! GO FUCK YOURSELF!

Thanks a lot, media, for literally helping turn the world's greatest democracy over to a fucking tyrant.
It wasn't his case, but 9/11

Radicalized FBI Sleeper Cell Probably Led By Rudy Giuliani

Haha, attempted coups are hilarious!

Donald Trump Will Make It Illegal For #Rigged Media To Hurt His Feelings

In Donald Trump's America, you won't be allowed to make Donald Trump cry!
Needed more Fallout: New Vegas references

Newsbusters Knows Who Is The Real Pussy-Grabber, And It Is Sci-Fi Time-Travel Ghost Of JFK

Damn feminists have ruined mediocre TV sci-fi, tell you what.

Hillary Clinton Hacked Up Lung In Cleveland, And NBC News Is ON IT!

Dear NBC: Delete your account.

Hillary Is Lady President Of The World Now, And We Are Going Home

For real, we are getting in the car and going back to Memphis.

California Dude Whips Out Snake In Restaurant. No, Like An Actual Non-Penis Snake

We talk a lot about Florida Man in this here news business, but our old friend California Man is also pretty impressive when it comes to crazy. So what's the latest in California Man's world? Oh, y'know. Just vengefully...
Don't drink the water

Democrats Have Civilized Conversation About America Like A Bunch Of Grown-Ups, Lame

On Sunday night, three grown-ass people stood on a stage and discussed issues facing Americans, like climate change and how it is indisputably bad; like healthcare for every man (women didn't come up quite so much) and how that is...
Joan Crawford's Eyebrows for President

Carly Fiorina OK With Terrorists Buying Guns As Long As They Use Them Responsibly

Bless her corporation-wreckin' heart, Carly Fiorina does at least know two things for sure: 1) Terrorism Bad; and 2) NRA Good. Unfortunately, those two things sort of got all tangled up for her on Thursday's Morning Joe, when she...

How We Got Even Dumber Watching TV ‘News’ On San Bernardino

Jesus, but this story was an effing mess. Watching the major networks (primarily Fox, MSNBC, and CNN, although at one point we flipped to CBSNews for about 20 minutes because we needed a power nap), yr Wonkette was subjected to so...
Trump can't help it if his reality is yooger and more interesting than anything on record

Donald Trump Rejects Chuck Todd’s 9/11 Reality, Replaces It With His Own

On NBC's Meet the Press Sunday, Donald Trump and host Chuck Todd had a spirited debate about the nature of reality, which left us wishing we could live in an alternative reality in which neither had been born. Todd...
You can tell he's being silly because his appleheaded vagina mouth is in the "giggle" position.

Correction: Donald Trump Did NOT Threaten To Deport All Muslims To The Moon

Hello, all Wonkette's favorite liberal blogs, what are you up to? Playing a game of telephone with each other, like Ben Carson telling himself his life story? Cool. Let's watch a media frenzy unfold, but let's do it backward,...

Donald Trump Leads Republican Scabs Across Their Own Debate Picket Line

After a brief attempt to collectively bargain for kinder, gentler debate rules -- Republican presidential candidate workers of the world, unite! -- the whole scheme fell apart when Donald Trump uncordially invited the other candidates to suck his YOOGE gold-plated balls,...

Loser Republicans Want Debates To Be More Fair To Losers

This is so pathetic, even we feel sorry for the Republican Party. Yes, we, Yr Wonkette, always first in line to instruct Republicans on the various ways they should have sexual relations with themselves, often involving unhygienic tools. After boo-hooing about how last week's CNBC-hosted...
RNC Chair Reince Priebus

Republicans To Cancel NBC Debate Unless Candidates Get Reality Shows And BJs

It would appear that Republican National Committee Chair Reince Priebus has failed to read his Wonkette yet again. We sexplained Thursday that anybody who thinks the CNBC debate sucked because it was overtly biased against the candidates is A...