Hey, Redstate, check out what we found. Any, hmm, striking similarities?

* Michelle Obama on things that shouldn’t be said out loud. [Wizbang]
* Senator, how does it feel to get beat by a girl? [Think Progress]
* John Edwards to go the way of John McCain. [Political Wire]
* Bill unleashes some fury that even a wingbag provocateur can take notice of. [Hot Air]
* Hey remember how bad it was when people said mean things about Patraeus for supporting the war? Looks like there’s no corollary. [Election Central]
* New York college students are looking to Obama to get them laid. [Swamp Politics]
* So what if we made a building that looks like a swastika? [Fresh Intelligence]

Beloved 1988 Dem nominee Michael Dukakis was such a crappy candidate that he lost to despised vice president George Bush, so now he’s warning America that the Republicans will still figure out a way to keep the White House beyond 2008, even though everybody hates the Republicans and all the GOP candidates and especially Bush Junior and Dick Cheney. MORE »

George Will, the original bowtied conservative prick, uses his column today to predict that David Petraeus’ forthcoming report on the state of the Iraq War will lead to something he calls “a Weimar moment.” He refers to Germany between World Wars I and II, when the freewheelin’ liberal democratic government was undermined by the feelings of the people that the nation had been betrayed by their leaders. The Germans knew they were just one Surge away from winning The Great War, and to prove it they elected Hitler to kill all the gays and Jews and win them a second, Greater War. Will is pretty sure this will happen once General Petraeus tells Congress that we are kind of winning in Iraq next month. MORE »

“Second Life” is this internet thing that is kind of like The Sims but with more furries and anonymous strangers purchasing huge virtual genitalia with which to virtually penetrate one another. Also it’s a hotbed of modern politics! All sorts of political types have forced interns to make them Second Life headquarters, all of which are monitored by sexy human-animal hybrids and occasionally “vandalized” by nerds. But one candidate is outrageous enough to have his staff do the vandalizing themselves. The only truly outside-the-beltway candidate, a Washington outsider who’s not afraid to go after the entrenched special interests. After the jump, a Very Special Look at Mike Gravel’s Second Life Adventure.

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Remember U.S. Representative Keith Ellison, who swore to destroy America on Thomas Jefferson’s copy of the Koran? Well, he’s still around and still plotting against us! The Minnesota congressman and Catholic-turned-Muslim told a group of infidels that 9/11 was pretty much the Reichstag fire and Bush is pretty much Hitler. MORE »

Evil Nazi war criminal Kurt Waldheim is finally dead at 88. The Nazi not only survived the “Jewish war” but thrived for another sixty years as a diplomat and politician, eventually becoming the head of the United Nations and president of Austria. MORE »

Have you been missing the political insights of our former favorite Letter to the Editor writer, Nadine? She quit writing to us a while ago, because — after months of running her delightful ideas in a feature called “Nadine Tells All” — she discovered we were posting her e-mails and threatened to sue us. Imagine spending all your time sending e-mails to Wonkette pleading for attention and then threatening to sue when the editors actually publish your rants. Getting a letter published is the crazy person’s version of winning “American Idol” or the Megabucks Lotto — unless it’s not.

Eventually she was convinced of the fact that we have the legal right to publish her nutty tales because she SENT THEM TO US FOR THAT PURPOSE, but we never received another one. Anyway, we have a new treat for you — a very important letter about the “Wizard of Oz scandal,” the OSS, CIA and Bill Clinton’s role in Pink Floyd’s “The Wall,” after the jump.

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Guess who’s maybe getting engaged to Karl Rove’s former intern? The great Holocaust author Jenna Bush, that’s who! MORE »

* The CVS at the Starburst intersection was robbed, causing an elderly woman to faint. [Frozen Tropics]
* Spot the Nazi bus and Eva Braun will poop on your chest. [Mayhem By Miss M]
* Best tender breasts aren’t even on the menu anymore. Get in the know. [The DC Concierge]
* Shutdown Day 2007. OMGROTFLOL. [The View from Dupont]
* New Whole Foods in Fairfax has wine tasting bar, five gourmet restaurants and fashion beers. One of only two “concept” locations. [Go Clipless]

While we never forget (TM) 9/11, somehow we forgot Dick Cheney’s birthday yesterday. That’s like remembering Easter but forgetting Christmas, or something. Anyway, everybody feels really bad about this. Would a whimsical online e-card of an elephant kicking another, farting elephant cheer up the world’s greatest U.S. vice president ever? We sure hope so. January 30 is a day that lives in infamy, because of Our Dark Lord’s birth and these other fun & semi-related historical milestones: MORE »