Tag Archives: nazis

  Nice Time Lesbian Apparel Update

Super Rad Louisiana Lesbian Will Dance At Her Prom In A Tuxedo After All!

Take THAT, tuxedo snatchers!
Well that was fast! On Monday, we told the story of a really cool high-school kid in Monroe, Louisiana, named Claudetteia Love. She’s an out lesbian, and  she just wanted to wear a damn tuxedo to her prom, because she likes them. What could be wrong with that? Oh, the “lesbian” part, that’s what tripped up the school principal and some of the asshole adults who make up the faculty at Carroll High School. So the principal, Patrick Taylor, went and made up a new rule that said “no lesbians in tuxes at the prom,” because boys have a penis and girls have a vagina, or something, and Love and her friends decided they would just skip it. Read more on Super Rad Louisiana Lesbian Will Dance At Her Prom In A Tuxedo After All!…
  Lowest bar ever for Godwin

Tennessee Pol: Chalk-Drawing Protest Slogans The New Kristallnacht. Not Over-Reacting A Bit!

A state senator’s hometown office was attacked by a vicious assault of sidewalk chalk, and he has responded by explicitly calling the chalkers Nazis. Oy vey. Sen. Todd Gardenhire (R-Chattanooga) is a conservative member of the Tennessee state Senate. He recently voted against Gov. Bill Haslam’s Insure TN, an attempt to conservatively expand Medicaid in the most conservative way possible even though that’s pretty much what Obamacare is, but whatever. Small victories. Apparently, Insure TN wasn’t conservative enough for some senators, with seven of them voting against it and ultimately defeating it, even though almost all of them are on government health insurance. Shockingly, lots of poor people across Tennessee were mad that Republicans are down with poor people dying (whiners), so they struck back in the most vicious way possible: chalk drawings on the sidewalk. Fight the power! Read more on Tennessee Pol: Chalk-Drawing Protest Slogans The New Kristallnacht. Not Over-Reacting A Bit!…
  is mercury still in retrograde?

Sarah Palin Delivers Mostly Coherent Speech At CPAC, WTF?

Secret shout-out to the Muslims in the crowd apparently
We do not know what happened to our beloved sister Sarah Palin, but obviously someone sedated the hell out of her and told her if she dares to go off script during her speech at CPAC this year and vomit incoherent nonsense all over the stage like she usually does, she will get the hose again, precious, and no more reality teevee deals. Read more on Sarah Palin Delivers Mostly Coherent Speech At CPAC, WTF?…
  Teach A Man To Bloviate And He'll Eat For A Lifetime

Bryan Fischer Was Not Fired From Wingnut Central For Saying Any Of The Following

How can we miss you if you won't go away?
When we heard the news last night that Bryan Fischer was fired by the American Patriarchy Association, our first thought was that it couldn’t have happened to a nicer wingnut. Our second thought was that this could be really bad for Yr. Wonkette, as a casual search through the archives shows that Mr. Fischer is a near-endless source of stupid hilarity. And our third thought had something to do with beer, as per usual. Read more on Bryan Fischer Was Not Fired From Wingnut Central For Saying Any Of The Following…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: American Family Association Fires Most Embarrassing Hater Bryan Fischer

this one might be a problem for the GOP
Rachel Maddow had a gen-you-wine old fashioned Big News Scoop in her Wednesday show. The larger story’s a little convoluted, but the really terrific news is right up there in the headline, kids: wingnut preacher Bryan Fischer has been fired from his position as “director of issues analysis” for the American Patriarchy Family Association. Mediaite reports, however, that he will continue to host his radio show for the AFA, so it’s really more of a demotion, we guess. Read more on Morning Maddow: American Family Association Fires Most Embarrassing Hater Bryan Fischer…
  priorities

GOP House Fixes All Nation’s Problems On First Day Back, By Banning Abortion Again

Do you remember your favorite Nazi research proponent and Congressperson Trent Franks (R-AZ)? Last Congress, he sponsored H.R. 1797, The Pain Capable Unborn Child Protection Act, which yr Wonkette described at the time as “a calamitous clusterfuck of epic proportions from start to finish.” The bill would have banned all abortions after the 20th week of pregnancy, and while it did include a rape exception, that would only have been triggered if the woman reported the rape to police. And as everyone knows, that is always easy and convenient and safe for all women, hooray! After a floor debate that included insight into the masturbation habits of fetuses, the House passed the bill last June by a vote of 228-196, and then the Senate rolled around on the floor laughing and refused to touch it with a 10-foot pole. Remember when Democrats used to control the Senate, until a few weeks ago? Those were good times. Read more on GOP House Fixes All Nation’s Problems On First Day Back, By Banning Abortion Again…
  Oopsie Scalise-y

Steve Scalise Totally Didn’t Speak At David Duke Event, Says Close Friend Of David Duke

Kooky Klown Klan Klaven
So you remember how it was reported that Steve Scalise (R-Jindaltopia) spoke at a meeting of infamous white supremacist David Duke’s white supremacy group in 2002? And remember how Scalise apologized for speaking at said white supremacist meeting, saying that he did not know that the white supremacist meeting was in fact a white supremacist meeting, and had he known it was a white supremacist group’s meeting, he never would have spoken at their white supremacist group’s meeting? Read more on Steve Scalise Totally Didn’t Speak At David Duke Event, Says Close Friend Of David Duke…
  Ice Cream Mandrake. Children's Ice Cream

BREAKING: Jesse Ventura Wrong About Nazi Water Fluoridation

This is a man who knows about conspiracies
Of the many things that you may have been worried about this week, the good fact-checkers at Politifact would like to free you of one possible source of anxiety: No, the practice of water fluoridation did not begin in Nazi Germany. Please remain calm and go about your business. Read more on BREAKING: Jesse Ventura Wrong About Nazi Water Fluoridation…
  You know who else yadda yadda

French City Real Mad They’re Not Allowed To Put Nazi Triangles On The Homeless, TO HELP THEM

Maybe they just need some health care?
You would think we’ve all learned our lesson about forcing certain segments of the population to wear yellow thingies on their clothes so we can easily identify them and say “Ewwwwww, you’re one of those people.” But in the French city of Marseille, officials forgot history and were condemned to try to repeat it. Read more on French City Real Mad They’re Not Allowed To Put Nazi Triangles On The Homeless, TO HELP THEM…
  Here have some news n stuff

House Unanimously Passes Super Controversial Bill Telling Nazis To Suck It

Finally they came for the Nazis
We may be the most polarized America we have ever been, including that time we Civil Warred — THANKS, OBAMA — but it’s nice to know that we can put aside our partisan bickering for one half of one second to come together to screw over some Nazis. Which has not always been the position of our fine United States government, at least when it came to “moderate Nazis,” but hey, we’ve made progress! You may recall the proposed Senate legislation we told you about in October to deny Social Security benefits to accused Nazi war criminals. Somehow, on Tuesday, the House of Representatives found time in its busy schedule of suing the president, whining about the onslaught of immigrants who are already here, and contemplating a shutdown out of spite to vote on its version of the bill: Read more on House Unanimously Passes Super Controversial Bill Telling Nazis To Suck It…
  Here have some news n stuff

Mean Harry Reid Might Make Senators Do Some Work In December

Sooooooooo mean!
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is one mean grinch. Because the Senate, as well as the House of Representatives, has been so busy not working all year, Reid’s threatening to murder Christmas vacation, which for most Americans is maybe a day or two, but for the lazy sacks of lazy in Congress is usually about three weeks. Read more on Mean Harry Reid Might Make Senators Do Some Work In December…
  Here have some news n stuff

Rick Santorum: The Nazis Are Coming For The Christians Again, Just Like The Holocaust

See, America is just like Nazi Germany? See? Do you see?
You might think Christians get all the breaks in this U.S. of America, but you are SO wrong. What with activist judges cramming marriage equality down everyone’s throats, and schoolchildren denied the god-given right to learn the God made the Earth, which is the center of the universe, in a few days, then rested, then wrote the Constitution — well, it’s basically exactly like Nazi Germany, when you think about it. You remember how the Nazis killed all those persecuted Christians, don’t you? Plus a few Jews who were so dumb, they didn’t even think to move. Here, let Rick Santorum explain: Read more on Rick Santorum: The Nazis Are Coming For The Christians Again, Just Like The Holocaust…
  Here have some news n stuff

You Know Who Else Worked With The Nazis? America, That’s Who.

Which one's the moderate?
Here’s a nifty little tale about that time the United States government worked with Nazis — actual Nazis, not the hyperbolic “Obama is just like Hitler” kind. In the decades after World War II, the C.I.A. and other United States agencies employed at least a thousand Nazis as Cold War spies and informants and, as recently as the 1990s, concealed the government’s ties to some still living in America, newly disclosed records and interviews show. Read more on You Know Who Else Worked With The Nazis? America, That’s Who….
  We Watch So You Don't Have To

The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report: Climate Change Is This Century’s Eugenics

The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report, Presented by Fartknocker
Sarah Palin is a busy former half-term governor these days. She’s hit the campaign trail for Republicans no one really likes; she “wrote” a Facespace note telling us how she had a big sad about the Thrilla in Wasilla; and four days ago, she went foraging for derp berries in the Fever Swamps of Poor Historical Analogies. You guys, look what she found! Read more on The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report: Climate Change Is This Century’s Eugenics…
  No SS For The SS

Senate Dems To Old Nazis: No Social Security For You!

Metaphorical Nazis need not worry
This seems like a probably good idea: Sens. Chuck Schumer and Bob Casey plan to introduce legislation that would cut off Social Security benefits for accused Nazi war criminals. We weren’t actually aware that was a problem, but it turns out that “dozens” of former SS guards and other suspected war crimers continued to collect Social Security even after they were forced to leave the U.S., thanks to a loophole in immigration law that the Justice Department used to persuade them to get out of the country. Schumer and Casey want to end the payments, although at this point only four ex-Nazis are still living and collecting the benefits. Read more on Senate Dems To Old Nazis: No Social Security For You!…
  Uterine Clown Car Survivor Speaks Out

Duggars Did A Pretty Good Job Edumacatin’ Their Womb-Fruits, All Right

Just as Darwin Demanded
Reality Teevee show person Jessa Duggar went to the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington DC, and came away believing that Charles Darwin led directly to the Nazis’ attempted extermination of European Jewry, which suggests that the museum’s docents really need to up their game. Ms. Duggar, 21, explained on Instagram the profound anti-science message that she derived from the historical exhibits: Read more on Duggars Did A Pretty Good Job Edumacatin’ Their Womb-Fruits, All Right…
  unclear on the concept

Mayor Pretty Sure Atheists Are Just Like Nazis Or The KKK, Take Your Pick

Perhaps if you are a small-town mayor, you crave recognition. You just want someone to know you’re there, that you’re master of your tiny-ish domain. And any publicity is good publicity, right? So why not engage in a really cartoonish level of textbook bad behavior about religion and free speech, making it a foregone conclusion that the ACLU will sue your pants off? That’s really the only explanation we can think of to account for Jim Fouts, mayor of Warren, Michigan, who decided that he should compare atheists to Nazis and KKK members after they had the goddamn gall to ask to set up a little atheist chat-type thing next to the town’s Jesus station that lives in City Hall. Read more on Mayor Pretty Sure Atheists Are Just Like Nazis Or The KKK, Take Your Pick…
  now that's what i call feminazi!

Louie Gohmert: Cancelling Bigot Twins’ TV Show Leads To Nazi Female Genital Mutilation

Louie Gohmert has just about had it with these intolerant gheys and liberals and all their fascism, because he sees where it’s inevitably headed: Nazi concentration camps and female genital mutilation, probably. He knows this, because psychology. In a somewhat-less-than-focused speech to the House Friday, Gohmert explained that conservative Christians’ rights are being violated like crazy because of “intellectual fascism” that forced HGTV to cancel that dumb real estate show with the gay-hater twins and also forced Brandeis University to rescind an honorary degree it was planning to give Ayaan Hirsi Ali, who has criticized Islamic fundamentalism. Louie Gohmert thinks that means feminists love female genital mutilation, and also the raping of families, because of course he does. Read more on Louie Gohmert: Cancelling Bigot Twins’ TV Show Leads To Nazi Female Genital Mutilation…
  happy hitler funtimes yay!

Happy Wonker Book Club: Uncle Sam’s First Nazis

One reason America’s never come to grips with its racist-nationalist past is Americans are pointedly encouraged not to know a nationalist racist when they see one. One can scarcely write the word ‘Nazi’ online without angry writs from comments-section Godwin’s lawyers demanding all electronic conversation cease forthwith. Worse, even talking about an American fascism is liable to really upset American fascists, who, as we’re often reminded, are people too. This murk allows a horde of Christian righties, crypto-racists and besotted Putin-kissers to pass for ordinary conservatives, no different perhaps from your batty uncle that voted four times for Harold Stassen or that sweet elderly man down the block who was hauled away by ICE as a camp guard at Treblinka. Read more on Happy Wonker Book Club: Uncle Sam’s First Nazis…
  d is for dreadful

Cookie Monster Is A Neo-Nazi Now, Thanks Obama

Generally, we are totally down with the educational efforts of Sesame Street because we are scumbag left-wing propaganda-perpetrating liberals who think that teaching kids that war kind of sucks and that gay people are OK is a thing worth teaching. Also, too, we are super into the fact that FLOTUS shows up on there all the time to talk about cool things like growing your own vegetables. Weirdly, we are not so in love with Sesame Street when it is co-opted by neo-Nazis to put a friendly face on race war and how Adolf Hitler was a cool dude, but seems that some German folk have adopted Cookie Monster as their new recruitment tool. Read more on Cookie Monster Is A Neo-Nazi Now, Thanks Obama…
  Night of broken Google Glass

Tech Bazillionaire Tom Perkins Warns Of New Holocaust: People Complaining About Google Buses

Meet Tom Perkins. He is an uber-gazillionaire tech dude who once killed a man with his yacht. But that’s just an interesting footnote to his biography. See, Tom Perkins is apparently hiding in an attic in San Francisco just like Anne Frank, where he was somehow able to smuggle out this secret diary entry to the Wall Street Journal to warn of the coming Holocaust: Writing from the epicenter of progressive thought, San Francisco, I would call attention to the parallels of fascist Nazi Germany to its war on its “one percent,” namely its Jews, to the progressive war on the American one percent, namely the “rich.” In case you’re thinking that sounds a tad hyperbolic, rest assured, Perkins has EVIDENCE that the progressive war on wealth inequality is pretty much exactly like Nazi Germany: Read more on Tech Bazillionaire Tom Perkins Warns Of New Holocaust: People Complaining About Google Buses…