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Posts Tagged ‘nazi pope’

GOD'S HEALTH INSURANCE PLAN

Celestial Guardians Do Not Care For Pope Ratzi

Wednesday, July 29th, 2009

They are trying to poison him!It’s no secret that certain earthly beings harbor no love for the current Pope, a self-made Prada-clad dandy with a troubled past of torturing Luke Skywalker with his laser-beam hands. But apparently not even the Pope’s own guardian angel likes him very much, because it let him break his wrist a few weeks ago. MORE »


WHAT'S BLACK AND WHITE AND RED ALL OVER?

Appeaser Obamas Meet With Former Nazi

Friday, July 10th, 2009

Hail Satan! Hail Satan! Hail Satan!
What enemy of America is Nobama meeting now? Oh, just former Nazi Youth and New World Order socialist Joseph Ratzinger, Italy’s latest “bad pope.” How lousy is this pope? He even let Chicago Muslin lady Michelle Obama inside His boys-only clubhouse! [CBC]


SOMEBODY TELL ALEX JONES!

Teabagger Alert: Pope Ratzi Creating Newer ‘New World Order’

Tuesday, July 7th, 2009

And if my thought-dreams could be seen, They'd probably put my head in a guillotine ...
Former Nazi Youth and rancid pontiff Joseph Ratzinger has an important message for the agitated teabaggers of America: An even newer New World Order is on the way, and this one is going to be run by the Vatican — along with, we suspect, a 13-seat Council of Elders including Goldman Sachs, Barack Obama, Israel, Red China, NAFTA, Michele Bachmann (oh hell yeah she’s working for the NWO!), the IRS, let’s see and probably the Sierra Club, KFC-Taco Bell, NASA and the Carlyle Group. Hope you like FEMA camps! [New York Times]


NEW STUDY PROVES IT

Obama *Almost* More Popular Than Nazi Pope & Multi-Racial Golfing Star Combined

Thursday, June 11th, 2009

I'll Jack U off.Well, Barack Obama has failed again. The so-called president isn’t quite as popular as Nazi Pope Joseph Ratzinger and Partially-African-American Nike model Tiger Woods combined, according to an idiotic new study which also revealed that 5% of Americans want to meet and have their topless picture taken with teevee’s Hannah Montana. MORE »


VILLAINS

Nazi Pope Believes the Holocaust, Now That He’s In Israel

Monday, May 11th, 2009

The devil wears Prada.Monstrous wingnut Joseph Ratzinger somehow became pope a few years ago — this is because of ancient Catholic-Sith rules dictating that each “good pope” must be followed by a “loathsome beast.” But Ratzi is unique even among the Sith Popes, for he is the first Bishop of Rome to be an actual Nazi, for Hitler, in Nazi Germany. Jesus, talk about your breaking of historical barriers …. Obama’s got nothing on this creep! Anyway, Ratzinger comically lived up to expectations by supporting actual Holocaust-denying fellow wingnut bishops, and now he’s in Israel kissing ass, but luckily nobody believes his evil horseshit. MORE »


PAPAL SCANDALS

Wait, WTF, Pope Ratzi Smokes Cigarettes?

Friday, January 2nd, 2009

Pole smoker.In this Wall Street Journal boring article about how Europeans sure love cigarettes yadda yadda, we were intrigued by this paragraph calling Nazi Pope Joe “the Plumber” Ratzinger a known smoker! Is this some hilarious WSJ New Year’s joke? Because there is no evidence we can locate, outside of some obviously photoshopped images of Ratzi in a cloud of cancer, to suggest our crappiest pope indulges in this particular variety of sucking on cylindrical objects. MORE »


BENEDICT XVI

Friday, April 18th, 2008

POPE FEVER! Do you have the Pope Fever? Well next time wear a condom! Meanwhile learn about all the popes who were even worse than Joseph Ratzinger. [Brightest Young Things]


DRUDGE REPORT

Friday, March 21st, 2008

HEY DRUDGE THAT’S NOT FUNNY: “Death by suicide robot,” is that what you call that old “Hitler Youth” Pope looking at you, these days? NOT COOL MAN, not cool. Anyway, happy “Good Friday,” everybody. It’s the day Rome finally killed Jesus so He would never bother us again. [DRUDGE REPORT]


FUNNY PICTURES

Pope Returns From Hell

Friday, October 19th, 2007

Beloved anti-Nazi pope John Paul II is back, according to Vatican TV. And this time, he is a terrible fire monster! We know about this because we accidentally had CNN Headline News on the other day, with the sound off, for some reason we can no longer remember, and suddenly there’s a terrible picture of the dead pope next to another picture of the Fire Pope. (It was on that douchesack Glenn Beck’s show that nobody has ever intentionally watched.) MORE »


GOD

Nazi Pope: Only Catholics Are Christians

Tuesday, July 10th, 2007

Hi cutie! - WonketteJust as the United States is finally getting tolerant enough to briefly consider electing a scientologist dog torturer, the “former” Nazi and current pope Joseph Ratzinger today announced that non-Catholic Christians aren’t really Christians because their churches aren’t really churches and lack the “means of salvation.” Because of this, according to Ratzinger, you are going to Hell forever if you are a Born Again or Evangelical or Fundamentalist or Seventh Day Adventist or Baptist or Gnostic or Episcopalian or Lutheran or Methodist or Anglican or (especially) Mormon or (obviously) Jewish. MORE »