Tag: national zoo

Go, corgis, go!

It’s National Dog Day. Pretty Sure We Could All Use Some Doggies About Now

We were getting all ready to end this perfectly shitty news day by sharing photos of the new panda babies at the National Zoo, but even that story went all to hell this afternoon, with the death of one...

Screw The National Zoo’s Panda-Cam; Here Are Five Animal-Cams That Aren’t Shut Down

With our government shutdown, obviously caused by Barack Obama insisting on remaining president of the United States after his reelection, there have been terrible things. Terrible things like old men going kamikaze on the WWII memorial on the National...

Government Shutdown Saga, Part Eleventy-Flurve

Whoever said that manufacturing was dead was clearly not in the “Congressional crisis” industry. You may have thought that supply was low, or that demand was waning, but Congress is back yet again to manufacture another crisis and shove...

It’s All Going To Be OK: The Zoo Pandas Signed a Five-Year Extension

Why do we suddenly see members of Congress referring inanely to nerdface Hu Jintao, the weakest leader in the history of the People's Republic of China, as a "dictator" and a murdering "gangster"? Our pandas have been SECURED. That's...

National Zoo Death Panel Murders Brave Bald Eagle

HMM, SYMBOLISM: "Sam, an elderly female bald eagle who had lived at the Smithsonian’s National Zoo since 2003, was euthanized by officials on Dec. 31, authorities said." First the Smithsonian lets ants just walk all over a crucifix like...

Vote To Name National Zoo’s Dumb Octopus ‘Cthulhu’

Ever since the Red Chinese took their panda back to Communist China, Washington's National Zoo has been a pretty beat-down no-panda-havin' sort of place. Kids don't want to go there, not even to get out of school for the...

China Tired of Loaning Us Everything, Seizes Butterstick From Washington Zoo

Beloved black-and-white poopbag "Butterstick" has finally been seized by our Chinese overlords and flown back to Red China, where the sad worn-out creature will be brutally interrogated for his contacts with the Dalai Lama. And then, magically, the famous...

Farewell, Butterstick: Unwanted Panda Being Shipped To China

Good lord, has it really been five years since famous baby panda "Butterstick" -- which means Tai Shan in Chinese -- was born in the Washington zoo? Yes it has, even though it feels like at least 50 years...

Panda Pregancy Is Not So Black And White (Sorry!)

It doesn't matter whether the National Zoo's panda's uterus is half full or half empty—the important thing is how you look at it. Like a sullen teenager, the DC Metro is looking towards food to fix its problems. A...

Butterstick Takes It Up The Hindquarters For Science

The life of Butterstick the National Zoo panda follows an all-too-common trajectory: we've seen him grow from adorable infant to teenage crack-whore to compulsive leg-humper and now, to a middle-aged adult with irritable bowels. Butterstick had to get a colonoscopy...

Easter Is Now Celebrated with Mole Rats and Reggae

Tonight: British folk-rock stalwart Robyn Hitchcock, of Soft Boys "fame," will be singing weird lyrics, lecturing his audience, and generally being awesome all over the Black Cat tonight. $20 tickets are still available here. 8PM. Friday, April...

THAT'S NOT CHANGE WE CAN BELIEVE IN: "'Because competent mating did not occur,' the zoo statement said, veterinarians anesthetized both pandas on Saturday, collected semen from Tian Tian and inserted it into Mei Xiang's uterus."

How To See Mythical Creatures Like Pandas And Barack Obama

The National Zoo is getting an exciting aerial tram, for sky views of Tian Tian and Mei Xiang and maybe Knut, way in the distance. Here's a list of all the fancy D.C. schools Sasha and Malia...