WHY? Why, Tom? Why do you refuse to run for the Senate when you have already served in the House and as governor of Pennsylvania and even the First Dauphin of the Terrorism Rainbow? Because, says Tom, this was “a difficult personal decision.” Well, that clears it up! [MSNBC]

Looks like the illegal Mexican “help” have gone a BRIDGE TOO FAR this time… [YouTube]

All of the fit youngsters in America have already been sent off to War, so the only people left on the home front are pre-teens, very old people, and the obese. Various military/first responder spokespeople in this tragic AP article blame an epidemic of fat volunteers on “a lack of physical education in the high schools” and “a hard time understanding a healthy diet and the importance of daily exercise.” Jesus, you know we are doomed when fucking Army recruiters sound like a pack of sissypants liberals. You also know we are doomed when the Army has literally run out of non-obese people to recruit. [AP]

• RUH ROH: “Attorney General Michael Mukasey collapsed Thursday night while giving a speech to the Federalist Society in Washington, according to three senior administration officials… At 10:30 p.m. Eastern, medical officials were still working on him on the stage, administration witnesses said.” [Politico]