Wonkette

Rudy Giuliani, the greatest mayor of New York since Abraham Lincoln, has suddenly been unveiled as a “national security” surrogate for the McCain campaign and has started holding conference calls and interviews detailing how Barack Obama is literally Hitler and bin Laden, but more killing-er. Obama is naive Mr. September 10, while Giuliani and McCain are Mr. & Mrs. TUFF $EPTEMBER 12 PAYBACK. Here is one thing that Rudy actually said in a conference call today: “It is fair to say that Osama Bin Laden would be given new rights that nobody ever had before,” because Obama would pardon him and let him sleep in his Tony Rezko Mansion’s attic, the end. [TPM Election Central]

Commenter norbizness shares this creepy ad in which some sort of menacing night prowler (you, the viewer) goes into a house full of sleeping innocent children and gazes longingly at them while a phone rings. Who do you want looking over your orphanage of adorable tots? Hillary Clinton, of course, because she will be happy to pick up the phone at 3am! She was up anyway, eating a bag of Corn Nuts and polishing off a bottle of merlot while weeping quietly to reruns of What Not to Wear. [YouTube] MORE »

While Giuliani dines out on 9/11, Obama decides the ubiquitous American flag lapel pin doesn’t mean shit. “It’s become a substitute for true patriotism … I decided I won’t wear that pin on my chest.” Instead, he told reporters he’ll show his true patriotism by speaking out on issues like national security and stuff. [ABC News]

Sandia National Laboratory, which once produced fantastic death ray weapons and nuclear bombs to keep America strong, had to fire a gal for using the government’s supercomputers to access the cell phone account of some rap-metal idiot. MORE »

Yes, the “live” feed of Bush’s press conference was apparently bleeped on all the cable-news stations, about 15 minutes in. And it wasn’t just to cover a quick “Fuck y’all” either — it apparently covered five or six words (or syllables). MORE »

The intelligence community: Not interested in calls you make to plan your wedding, very interested in calls you make to Brian Ross. MORE »

We kinda love everything about this story from channel 9 last night. The immediate invocation of Osama bin Laden (complete with the hilarious image of him rooting through the White House trash), the ex-con garbage man doing his “civic duty,” the outrage and shock from the anchors, it’s classic local news. And it even features a brief, wordless cameo appearance from Ms. Katherine Harris. Enjoy. MORE »

• Josh Bolten “is expected to press President Bush to assemble new economic and Congressional relations teams and overhaul the management of the West Wing.” John Snow rumored to be on his way out. [NYT]
• Senate approves lobbying restrictions by vote of 90 to 8; activists are disappointed. [WP, NYT, W$J, USAT, LAT]
• Jack Abramoff is sentenced to 70 months in jail in Florida fraud case. [WP, NYT]
• Republicans could alienate Hispanic voting bloc with stance on immigration; topic is front and center as Bush meets with Vicente Fox. [NYT, NYT, WP]
• Administration will impose fuel standards on SUVs, minivans, and pickups, but environmentalists are unsatisfied. [W$J]
• Bush tells Iraqis, “It’s about time you get a unity government going.” [WP]

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* Bush will reaffirm strategy of preemption: “When the consequences of an attack with WMD are potentially so devastating, we cannot afford to stand idly by as grave dangers materialize.” [WP, NYT]
* Concern about Iraq pushes Bush’s approval rating to 37% in NBC/WSJ poll; only 32% have positive view of Democrats. [WSJ]
* Ethics package proposed by House Republicans includes limits on 527 groups. [WP, NYT]
* Dubai Ports World to sell American port operations to “an unrelated U.S. buyer.” [WP, NYT]
* Talk of censure and impeachment used to rally Republican voters. [NYT]
* Michael Brown ignored plans and circumvented Michael Chertoff during Katrina response, House report concludes. [WP]
* Bush nominates family friend to head FDA as Plan B threatens to stall vote. [NYT]
* Rep. Katherine Harris will drop $10m on her senate bid. [NYT]
* Rep. James Moran Jr. (D-Va.) says Gore should run in 2008. [WP]

* Gonzales testifies for seven hours about warrentless eavesdropping; defends legality of program but largely avoids providing specifics. Gonzales: “Think about the reaction, the public reaction that has arisen in some quarters about this program. If the president had authorized domestic surveillance as well, even though we’re talking about al Qaeda-to-al Qaeda, I think the reaction would have been twice as great. And so there was a judgment made that this was the appropriate line to draw in ensuring the security of our country and the protection of the privacy interests of Americans.” [WP, NYT, USAT, WT]
* Bush proposes $2.77t budget that would cut funds from most federal agencies while increasing military funding by 7%; deficit would be record $423b. The “patchwork of generosity and austerity reflects the priorities of Bush, who has defined his administration’s central goal as combating terrorist threats.” [WP, NYT, NYT, USAT, WT]
* Budget could be “risky election-year strategy” for Republican lawmakers. Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wis.): “Politically, the right thing to do this year is also the popular thing to do, and that is to cut spending.” [LAT, NYT, USAT]
* Budget predictions depend on tax overhaul, an end to the war in Iraq, and no new funds for the Gulf Coast. [WP, NYT, USAT, USAT]
* Republicans lack unity over eavesdropping issue. Sen. Specter (R-Pa.): “I think they are seeing concerns in a lot of directions from all segments: Democrats and Republicans in all shades of the political spectrum.” [WP]

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