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Posts Tagged ‘national security’

Liveblogging Bill Clinton’s Concession Speech

Wednesday, August 27th, 2008

Greetings!It was a hard-fought primary, but in the end, Bill Clinton’s old Arkansas magic just couldn’t work another time. So now he’s stuck with a boring old prime time slot on the second-to-the-last night of the convention, yammering about national security when he really wants to talk about math and numbers and dollars like he did in the 90s. Let’s see how he muddles through… MORE »


Monday, August 11th, 2008

Obama's War Horse, Hopesure O' FourhoovesDEMOCRATS TO SPEND CONVENTION WEDNESDAY PRETENDING THEY AREN’T PUSSIES: The Obama people announced on a conference call today that the Wednesday of their convention — the night the vice president speaks, assuming there ever is one — will be National Security Night, meaning it will focus on “Securing America’s Future.” You know, with guns and sheee-iiiit. And that is why Dick Cheney will be Obama’s second black vice president. [The Page]


America’s Mayor: Obama Is 9/11

Wednesday, June 18th, 2008

Rudy Giuliani, the greatest mayor of New York since Abraham Lincoln, has suddenly been unveiled as a “national security” surrogate for the McCain campaign and has started holding conference calls and interviews detailing how Barack Obama is literally Hitler and bin Laden, but more killing-er. Obama is naive Mr. September 10, while Giuliani and McCain are Mr. & Mrs. TUFF $EPTEMBER 12 PAYBACK. Here is one thing that Rudy actually said in a conference call today: “It is fair to say that Osama Bin Laden would be given new rights that nobody ever had before,” because Obama would pardon him and let him sleep in his Tony Rezko Mansion’s attic, the end. [TPM Election Central]


Terrifying Clinton Ad Asks, Who Will Monitor Your Child-Farming Operation?

Friday, February 29th, 2008


Commenter norbizness shares this creepy ad in which some sort of menacing night prowler (you, the viewer) goes into a house full of sleeping innocent children and gazes longingly at them while a phone rings. Who do you want looking over your orphanage of adorable tots? Hillary Clinton, of course, because she will be happy to pick up the phone at 3am! She was up anyway, eating a bag of Corn Nuts and polishing off a bottle of merlot while weeping quietly to reruns of What Not to Wear. [YouTube] MORE »


America, Barack Obama Hates You!

Thursday, October 4th, 2007

While Giuliani dines out on 9/11, Obama decides the ubiquitous American flag lapel pin doesn’t mean shit. “It’s become a substitute for true patriotism … I decided I won’t wear that pin on my chest.” Instead, he told reporters he’ll show his true patriotism by speaking out on issues like national security and stuff. [ABC News]


National Security and the Curse of Crap Metal

Monday, November 27th, 2006

Duh huh? - WonketteSandia National Laboratory, which once produced fantastic death ray weapons and nuclear bombs to keep America strong, had to fire a gal for using the government’s supercomputers to access the cell phone account of some rap-metal idiot. MORE »


Bleep Bleep … What Dangerous Thing Was Bush Jabbering About?

Wednesday, November 8th, 2006

Oh, shit, I wasn't 'sposed to mention that, was I? - WonketteYes, the “live” feed of Bush’s press conference was apparently bleeped on all the cable-news stations, about 15 minutes in. And it wasn’t just to cover a quick “Fuck y’all” either — it apparently covered five or six words (or syllables). MORE »


ABC News Won’t Name Source Who Told Them That He’s Tapping Their Phones to Find Their Sources

Monday, May 15th, 2006

rossphone.jpgThe intelligence community: Not interested in calls you make to plan your wedding, very interested in calls you make to Brian Ross. MORE »