December 9, 2013
Unless you have been living in a cave on Mars with your eyes closed and your fingers in your ears — an increasingly attractive option, we’ll admit — you are aware that the Guardian and the Washington Post confirmed that the NSA has been spying on Americans’ phone calls, Facebook accounts, Google searches, emails, iTunes [...]
Bedbugs! They’re destroying Freedom & Liberty even faster than Debbie Riddle and terror babies combined. In Ohio and several other states, the critters have become so unruly that local governments are calling on the feds — including the Department of Defense — to help find a solution.
Again, the background cannot be reiterated too many times: on Jeebus’ birthday, a rich 23-year-old Nigerian dipshit loosely affiliated with The Terrorists attached a dime-bag of firecrackers to his boner, held snug by a dirty skid-marked tighty whity diaper apparatus. He tried to blow up his magical cockbomb on an airplane over Detroit and failed [...]
Now hopefully you all didn’t forget that in America, we only address domestic issues such as energy, transportation, health care, jobs, etc. when there is either a real or imagined lull in NATIONAL TERROR AND WAR issues about which we can do nothing to fully protect ourselves, did you? Because now the lull is over, [...]
GAHHH, trying to find the funny news, but everything today is just about the American Empire transparently destroying itself. Which is funny! Humor has come full circle, maybe. Like what is this?: “‘The president is very confident that this government is taking the steps that are necessary to take — to take our fight to [...]
NOT A BAD MOVE ACTUALLY: Former President George W. Bush missed both Obama and Cheney’s speeches today, because he was traveling to, let’s see, New Mexico, “where he is the keynote speaker Thursday night at a fund raising dinner for a scholarship program for students at Artesia High School.” [Political Ticker]
Somebody on MSNBC said that Obama’s speech was ten pages single spaced and this must be true, because this has been going on half an hour and he is just getting started. How does this guy manage to talk at such lengths without a glass of water nearby? Because he is Magic.
It was a hard-fought primary, but in the end, Bill Clinton’s old Arkansas magic just couldn’t work another time. So now he’s stuck with a boring old prime time slot on the second-to-the-last night of the convention, yammering about national security when he really wants to talk about math and numbers and dollars like he [...]
DEMOCRATS TO SPEND CONVENTION WEDNESDAY PRETENDING THEY AREN’T PUSSIES: The Obama people announced on a conference call today that the Wednesday of their convention — the night the vice president speaks, assuming there ever is one — will be National Security Night, meaning it will focus on “Securing America’s Future.” You know, with guns and [...]
Rudy Giuliani, the greatest mayor of New York since Abraham Lincoln, has suddenly been unveiled as a “national security” surrogate for the McCain campaign and has started holding conference calls and interviews detailing how Barack Obama is literally Hitler and bin Laden, but more killing-er. Obama is naive Mr. September 10, while Giuliani and McCain [...]