national security
A Children’s Treasury Of Pundits Saying Stupid Things About The NSA This Weekend
Unless you have been living in a cave on Mars with your eyes closed and your fingers in your ears — an increasingly attractive option, we’ll admit — you are aware that the Guardian and the Washington Post confirmed that the NSA has been spying on Americans’ phone calls, Facebook accounts, Google searches, emails, iTunes [...]
America’s Bedbug Infestation Requires Military Intervention
Bedbugs! They’re destroying Freedom & Liberty even faster than Debbie Riddle and terror babies combined. In Ohio and several other states, the critters have become so unruly that local governments are calling on the feds — including the Department of Defense — to help find a solution.
Hmm, The Fourteen Terrorist/Pat-Down Countries Might Have Issues With AMERICA NOW, HELLO?
Again, the background cannot be reiterated too many times: on Jeebus’ birthday, a rich 23-year-old Nigerian dipshit loosely affiliated with The Terrorists attached a dime-bag of firecrackers to his boner, held snug by a dirty skid-marked tighty whity diaper apparatus. He tried to blow up his magical cockbomb on an airplane over Detroit and failed [...]
Now THIS Is A War On Terror We Can Sink Our Teeth Into!
GAHHH, trying to find the funny news, but everything today is just about the American Empire transparently destroying itself. Which is funny! Humor has come full circle, maybe. Like what is this?: “‘The president is very confident that this government is taking the steps that are necessary to take — to take our fight to [...]
Liveblogging Bill Clinton’s Concession Speech
It was a hard-fought primary, but in the end, Bill Clinton’s old Arkansas magic just couldn’t work another time. So now he’s stuck with a boring old prime time slot on the second-to-the-last night of the convention, yammering about national security when he really wants to talk about math and numbers and dollars like he [...]
DEMOCRATS TO SPEND CONVENTION WEDNESDAY PRETENDING THEY AREN’T PUSSIES: The Obama people announced on a conference call today that the Wednesday of their convention — the night the vice president speaks, assuming there ever is one — will be National Security Night, meaning it will focus on “Securing America’s Future.” You know, with guns and [...]
Terrifying Clinton Ad Asks, Who Will Monitor Your Child-Farming Operation?
National Security and the Curse of Crap Metal
Bleep Bleep … What Dangerous Thing Was Bush Jabbering About?
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