Former federal prosecutor and current National Review smart person Andy McCarthy has a number of interesting political opinions about such things as Barack Obama’s memoir, Barack Obama’s attitude towards Iran, and the Uighurs. Now he has a new interesting political opinion about Barack Obama’s first pitch at the Baseball All-Star Game Tuesday night. What does he have to say? MORE »

Known lamer Hu Jintao, the President of China, had to cut short his stay at the boring, disorganized Italian G8 kegger today so as to “deal with” deadly riots in his country’s northwest Xinjiang Uighur Autonomous Region, boo. (At least that’s his excuse; he just didn’t want to answer gay Europe’s treehugger questions about the new coal-fired power plants he opens every week — awkward!) 156 people have died in this latest bout of Uighur-Han Chinese violence centered in the city Urumqi, which is like China’s Seattle. So. Should Bermudans be worried that the four released Uighurs from Guantanamo Bay will kill them all? Violent deathbot Andy McCarthy of the National Review weighs in! MORE »

John Ensign, yep, he’s got the scandals. Oh and this Mark Sanford, yes, he is flying back and forth to Argentina to have sexytime with Ms. Not His Wife. Hmm, what other GOP 2012 name is plagued by “tabloid scandals” — the one who steals Neiman Marcus clothes and made a Sex Den for her teen-aged daughter and spends all her time yelling at a late-night talk show host? EXTRA HINT TO RICH “STARBURST” LOWRY: You cum in your slacks when you see her on the teevee. [The Corner]

In the hot new National Review dime-store porno, steamy scenes of Jonah Goldberg getting reamed on an oil rig, Ramesh Ponnuru fondling his inflatable Reagan doll, and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad checkin’ it all out through the peep-hole. Is this why David Frum left? Did they make him do things? [National Review]

BIG NEWS 2DAY, from Kathryn Jean “Jonah Goldberg” Lopez: “I will soon be stepping aside as editor of National Review Online. I’m not going too far. I’ll still be contributing to NRO with ideas and content, and if you are an author or reader you might not notice much of a change. I’ll probably still be bugging you for pieces if you’re an author and I’ll still be traffic-copping the Corner. But I will be moving my primary base of operation in the fall from New York to D.C., and will no longer honcho NRO on a day-by-day basis.” Oh, we will notice the shit out of this. Starburst will replace her. [National Review]

Seems the National Review erred in dubbing Sonia Sotomayor the one “Wise Latina” on Earth, because, as Joe Klein might say, if she’s so smart then why can’t she walk? “WASHINGTON (AP) - Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor broke her ankle Monday morning in an airport stumble on her way to Washington to meet with senators who will vote on her confirmation.” That is clearly not why she was in an airport, silly AP writer with a “September 10th” world view. [AP]

According to the new National Review, Sonia Sotomayor’s particular flavor of Mexico is secretly in Asia, where she practices radical Buddhism! Or does the cover art actually go with the top headline, about Jonah Goldberg answering His Critics? Is it simply a photograph of Jonah Goldberg, from the same photoshoot as this? [TPM]

The National Review The Corner blog’s Mark Krikorian hears how the people on teevee are pronouncing Sotomayor — “Zo-toe-my-OR” — and he goddamn does not care for that at all, so he goddamn will not pronounce it that way, goddamnit, fuck you all, learn to speak English. MORE »

Hooray, we made a Jonah Goldberg post on The Corner! Time to break out the sparkling cider HMM? Jonah simply does not care for this website’s devastating investigative “reporting” (got an e-mail, determined the source was credible enough and the content was harmless, posted it as gossip — JUST LIKE B. WOODWARD), and says that he DID stand for the President… briefly… barely… shouldn’t even have to stand for that fucking guy… and that the problem was boredom. He went to a black-tie Washington reporters’ banquet but wasn’t expecting to be bored. MORE »

We already know that National Review Internet overlord Kathryn Jean Lopez was none too pleased with the Washington political/media establishment’s behavior at the White House Correspondents Dinner, where Barack Obama and Wanda Sykes refused to praise Rush Limbaugh for keeping America safe these past eight years. But now a deep-undercover Wonkette operative who was sitting a table over from Jonah and K-Lo’s — well within earshot — presents us with a disturbing report of how the two “were insufferable all night long,” and should never be allowed in public again. MORE »

We mentioned earlier that we saw staunch “Reagan Conservative” and National Review marm Kathryn Jean Lopez at a pre-WHCD cocktail party, where she looked uncomfortable, what with all the homosexuals sipping the Devil’s Vinegar and all. Unlike your Wonkette, however, K-Lo stayed for the dinner portion, where she saw the various blacks make 9/11 jokes to an appreciative liberal media audience all cackling like sadists and jumping on tables left and right to perform partial-birth abortions and play frisbee with the bloody mutilated fetuses while sucking each others’ gay-married cocks and pooping on pictures of Ronald Reagan and the Pope before injecting white children with the AIDS cancer and science juice. MORE »