Tag Archives: national review online

  bad news is good news

Wingnuts Furious … With National Review Writer Noting Positive Jobs Report

Just who is this Bob Stein, and why is he sullying the august pixels of National Review Online with his Obama-loving and his insistence that job numbers are improving? Perhaps he would like to MOVE BACK TO CUBA, COMMIE! Here, let us read the first comment on Mr. “Stein”‘s disgusting, America-hating post together. Bob, does the Obama campaign pay you by the word, or are you on a flat retainer? The one word that springs to mind when I read anything you write is “giddy”. I wonder if the 550K who left the labor force since January are as optimistic about our economy as you always seem to be? Probably not, eh? And here, let us read the second! I’m sorry, you should have turned left, that would have gotten you to the Huffington Post. This is National Review Online, we don’t need pro-Obama spin here. Yeah, FUCK YOU, BOB STEIN, with your ‘litest “numbers” and “maths”! What has infuriated these wingnuts so? Everything. What else? Read more on Wingnuts Furious … With National Review Writer Noting Positive Jobs Report…
  it's not tv it's food-nazi propaganda!

National Review Writer Does Not Care For HBO Program Explaining Why She Is A Fat Load

It would be the easiest and cheapest thing in the world to put a picture of Julie Gunlock, National Review writer and senior female at the Independent Women’s Forum, in this space right here and then har-har-har about how she is whining about HBO’s upcoming documentary — which she has not seen but which infuriates her anyway — because she is herself a person of fatness. So, naturally, that is what we will do! On May 14, HBO will debut a new documentary called Weight of the Nation, which was produced in cooperation with the Centers for Disease Control. While I haven’t yet seen it, it’s clear from the trailer that HBO produced this documentary to deliver the same message we’ve all heard before: We’re all too fat, and we’re going to die huge, miserable, unemployed, and in pain. For absolute real, your Wonkette does not believe calling someone “wide-load” is effective political discourse; and also on the real, your Wonkette sees these Interwebz pictures of Julie Gunlock and finds her to be the perfect amount of plumpness for, say, a chef. Not grossly obese like that horrible Robert on “Gordon Ramsay Is Not Done Screaming At You You Fucking Stupid Cow” but definitely tastes everything before it gets to your plate. Could it be that Julie Gunlock, who takes so very many exceptions to this documentary she has not seen*, is somehow a mite defensive? Read more on National Review Writer Does Not Care For HBO Program Explaining Why She Is A Fat Load…
  cry us a freaking river

NRO Will Now Explain to Stupid Liberals How Private Charity Works

Oh noes, National Review Online editors are feeling a touch put out that they went to all the “trouble” of holding a group fap session righteously congratulating the Susan G. Komen foundation for cutting off grants to Planned Parenthood and then posted the account of it online only for the charity to admit shortly thereafter that it had decided to restore the funding because of UGH, LIBERALS. “Does anyone on the Left even ask the basic question of whether a private charitable organization has the right to dispose of its money as it sees fit?” demands to know NRO Corner blogger Daniel Foster, sassily. Yeah, why can’t charities just do what they want with their money in PEACE? It is THEIR MONEY, after all, that they collected off the money-growing trees, probably. Read more on NRO Will Now Explain to Stupid Liberals How Private Charity Works…
  political costume ideas for pedantic history nerds

National Review’s Racist Halloween Costumes To ‘Scare Liberals’

Halloween, it’s almost here! To help out with last-minute costume ideas, National Review Online has a devilish little “politically incorrect” suggestion: why not dress up as one of those wicked murderous imperialists from British history, to annoy your neighborhood lefties? NRO’s guest British historian “H.W. Crocker III” has drawn up a helpful list of arcane characters guaranteed to “scare liberals to death,” presumably meant to achieve the effect right after you take the time to diagram out to the other Halloween party guests the atrocities committed by the obscure old white dead guy whose fruity hat you are wearing, to make your point about the superior virtues of colonialism. What fun! So let’s see, who’s on the list? Read more on National Review’s Racist Halloween Costumes To ‘Scare Liberals’… Read more on National Review’s Racist Halloween Costumes To ‘Scare Liberals’…
  wonkette world o' books

Why Must Barack Obama Have His Own Taste in Books?

What does one say when confronted with a president who reads books while he’s on vacation? Surely something like “Why must you, President Smarty Pants, follow your interests when the time comes to select reading material? Why can’t you read something I would like to read? Why aren’t you me? After all, I am secretly a very important man/woman.” At least that’s what we should think, according to various opinion pieces recently posted on the wretched Internet. Read more on Why Must Barack Obama Have His Own Taste in Books?…
  whiners

Gabby Giffords Appearance Makes Jonah Goldberg Curse Everybody Out

Touchy maggot sack Jonah Goldberg got into “one of his moods” today and typed a column entitled “To Hell With You People” over in his Corner, because he is incredibly sick to his stomach that the vicious liberal media did not bother to crucify and poop on Joe Biden’s corpse for saying something dumb and politically incorrect about how Tea Party legislators were “acting like terrorists” during the debt ceiling negotiations. SUCK DEVIL BALLZ all of you liberal elites, because Gabby Giffords’ surprise appearance in Congress reminds Jonah not of healing or hope, but of exactly how mean everybody in the leftist media was to his irrelevant gun freak girlfriend Sarah Palin when Giffords was shot. A little fairness, you socialist commie assholes? Read more on Gabby Giffords Appearance Makes Jonah Goldberg Curse Everybody Out…
  and having a scooter officially makes you rich

Heritage Foundation Guy: You Don’t Count As ‘Poor’ If You Own A TV

Over 40 million Americans live below the federal poverty line, defined in 2011 as $22,058 a year for a family of four, which is sort of an embarrassingly large percentage of dirty hobo children to have running around in God’s favorite country. How do we fix that, besides editing the numbers on the Wikipedia page? Right-wing think tank the Heritage Foundation has this idea, because they have been noticing lately that lots of “supposedly poor people” out there also still have cheap television sets and refrigerators full of frozen chicken nuggets, which means they are not starving to death. Hey, that doesn’t actually sound so poor? Read more on Heritage Foundation Guy: You Don’t Count As ‘Poor’ If You Own A TV…
  urban youths

National Review: Weiner Scandal Is Like Urban Youth With the Hip Hop

Let us get something out of the way, first: We almost totally agree with the National Review Online “The Corner” writer who typed this about the Anthony Weiner scandal. The whole story is gross and doesn’t really matter and says very little about us, as a people, except for what we already know — that we’re a gross nation of gross people doing gross things, on Twitter. But, because it was published on the National Review comedy blog, “The Corner,” it needed some ridiculous and offensive racial stereotype thrown in there, just to maintain institutional equilibrium. In other words, Anthony Weiner twit-picking his yfrog to some gal was just like the black youth and their loud hip-hop. Read more on National Review: Weiner Scandal Is Like Urban Youth With the Hip Hop…
  let's nuke the corner

National Review Typing Person Unhappy With Being Mocked

Oh okay, fine, we’ll bite, but only because Newell emailed this and he’s supposed to be ON VACATION for a few days, Jesus, but whatever, here is what National Review Online typing person typed in response to, uh, Wonkette making fun of his dumb column actually calling for a nuclear bomb to be “used” to stop the BP oil spill, which more than a few commenters here have noted would, besides being Insane, require the drilling of a well to drop in the nuke. Read more on National Review Typing Person Unhappy With Being Mocked…
  rock is dead

Conservative Lamers Again Pretending Popular Art Form Is Conservative

One of the most self-defeating fetishes of the modern-day right-wing pundit is assembling “evidence” that some kind of popular entertainment product is actually conservative — because these tunnel-vision wingnuts really do look at the Entire World this way, as some contest between political parties. (“Chicken Run/Wall-E is socialist claptrap, while Avatar/Lindsey Lohan exemplifies the right’s values,” etc.) So, after forty or fifty years of dull attacks on “longhair music” and “race records” or whatever, and approximately a quarter century after popular music gave up whatever artistic pretensions it ever had and just became a dumb autotune-BPM meaningless soundtrack to dance or fuck or stock Wal-Mart shelves to, the wallflowers at National Review have bravely decided to steal rock ‘n roll back from the hippies or whatever. It’s hip to be square! Read more on Conservative Lamers Again Pretending Popular Art Form Is Conservative…
  oh hell yeah nuke everything

National Review Online and the Russians Suggest Nuking BP Oil Well

What’s the best way to deal with an environmental disaster? If you’re a National Review Online writer in June 2010 or, say, the Soviet Union three or four decades ago, the answer is simple: Drop a nuclear bomb on the leaking wellhead in the Gulf of Mexico. If the Rooskies used to do it, it must be a great market-driven solution, right? Besides, you could maybe “trap virtually all of the radioactive fallout within the sub-oceanic bedrock.” Read more on National Review Online and the Russians Suggest Nuking BP Oil Well…
 

Shadegg Becoming the Christian Bale of GOP Netroots

John Shadegg seemed to be making all the right moves toward getting into the GOP House leadership race. He cleared his name of any Abramoff connected money and got endorsed by Red State. But what Read more on Shadegg Becoming the Christian Bale of GOP Netroots…
 

Hi, Again

While the subject line could accurately describe my holiday break, let’s instead think of it as a fresh introduction. A few readers (and one colleague) have asked today who is
 

I Can Finally Get Back to Watching the Tony Danza Show

Wonkette says goodbye to our right-wing man today. Apparently, he’s trying to get a “job,” and the princely salary of $12 per post would force him to rely on that welfare state that doesn’t exist so much anymore. He writes: Read more on I Can Finally Get Back to Watching the Tony Danza Show…
 

This Looks Like a Day for the Ds

Over at The Corner, John Miller predicts a near clean sweep for the Democrats: “Later this morning, I’ll be going out to vote for Jerry Kilgore, the Republican running for governor in Virginia; alas, I suspect that Democrat Tim Kaine will be holding a victory party tonight. Down ticket, Bolling (R) will win the race for LG and, in what may be a minor upset, Deeds (D) will win AG. In New Jersey, Jon Corzine (D) will beat Doug Forrester (R), with Forrester not breaking 45 percent. The four California propositions that Arnold Schwarzenegger and everybody else are watching closely, nos. 74, 75, 76, and 77, will all lose. The New York mayor’s race was over before it started: Bloomberg (R, sort of) will win re-election. And in a city close to my own heart, I’m anticipating a small piece of good news: In the mayoral race, Freman Hendrix (D) will oust incumbent Kwame Kilpatrick (D), a man with a wonderfully alliterative melting-pot name but also a fellow who has cared more about taxpayer-funded private parties than improving a city that still needs a lot of help. Bottom line: This looks like a day for the Ds.” Perhaps it’s for the best. Kilgore’s plan for “Virginia is for Advocates of the Death Penalty” t-shirts just doesn’t have the same ring as “Lovers.” And in a bit of shameless self-promotion, my own take on the NJ/VA races here. — Eric Pfeiffer Read more on This Looks Like a Day for the Ds…