national prayer breakfast

Do you remember Dr. Ben Carson’s VERY IMPORTANT SPEECH at the National Prayer Breakfast in February of last year? No? How could you forget? It’s like forgetting 9/11. Just 434 days ago, today, Dr. Ben boldly rambled proclaimed that poverty is bad, education is the answer, we should adopt God’s taxation system, went off on […]

Attention, President Obama! Mousy Mormon Senator Orrin Hatch would like to have a word with you in the undersea Holocaust-victim baptizing chamber. Hatch will be doing that thing he always does, that raisin-mouthed, monotonous, mild-mannered smug thing he uses to cloak all manner of backwards beliefs and statements. The decrepit senator from Utah is currently […]

For approximately 8,758 hours a year, the United States of America upholds one of its most cherished values, the freedom of religion. For the other couple hours, its government gathers together to tell Jesus, “Just kidding. We totally all believe in you. Give us a high five.” Yes, it’s the first Thursday in February, which […]

Everyone hates Barack Obama extra much today for speaking at the National Prayer Breakfast, which is racist against gays. Basically every President since Hillary Clinton has attended this thing, but Obama is in trouble because some of the hosts of this year’s breakfast—obviously a group with the word “Family” in the name—want to… guess what […]