Tag Archives: national organization for marriage

  Next they'll be giving their Lifetime Achievement Award to dead George Wallace

Completely Real Coalition Of African-American Pastors To Give ‘MLK Award’ To Alabama’s Roy Moore

A group that calls itself the Coalition of African-American Pastors has finally found a freedom fighter worthy of Martin Luther King, Jr.’s legacy, and it is the holistically bigoted Alabama Supreme Court Chief Justice Roy Moore, he who has been heroically standing in the gay courthouse door, for freedom, pretty much this entire year, and whose court buddies on Tuesday decided to set up camp in their own courthouse doors to protect Alabama from gay marriage, at least until SCOTUS crams it down all their throats for good in June. Read more on Completely Real Coalition Of African-American Pastors To Give ‘MLK Award’ To Alabama’s Roy Moore…
  humanum

Vatican Throws Festival Of Homophobia

  What you see above is not, despite all appearances, your freshman roomie’s botched and infected yin-yang tattoo, but a symbol of unity and celebration! It celebrates the matched sets of opposite-sexers who keep our planet from flying apart, according to the organizers of “Humanum: An International Interreligious Colloquium on the Complementarity of Man and Woman,” held this week at the Vatican. Read more on Vatican Throws Festival Of Homophobia…
  Thanks but no thanks

National Organization For Marriage Tries To Cram Endorsement Down Democrat’s Throat

Nobody actually listens to these assholes. Nobody.
Image via The New Civil Rights Movement The National Organization for Marriage is just about as dead as opposition to marriage equality itself. NOM is pretty darned sure homophobia is going to be making a big comeback any day now — any day, you’ll see! — and when it does, NOM will be there, telling all of us sinners and friends of sinners that NOM was right all along about how The Gay would destroy America and the family and the sanctity of Newt Gingrich’s three marriages and freedom and then America some more, thanks in no small part to the Obama administration’s evil fascist agenda to let gays do paperwork together, IMPEACH! Read more on National Organization For Marriage Tries To Cram Endorsement Down Democrat’s Throat…
  poutine on airs

Ted Cruz Will Fix Constitution So Judges Can’t Gay Us Anymore

Even Harvard makes mistakes
With the Supreme Court cramming the civilization-wrecking horror of gay marriage down America’s throat until it tickled our epiglottis and coated our larynx with sweet, milky equality, we were expecting waves of hysterical overreactions from wingnuts everywhere. Sure, there were a few. Gay-panic vector Bryan Fischer worked himself into his usual froth at the idea of the Court legitimizing “sodomy-based marriage.” Genocide Ben Shapiro threw a hilarious temper tantrum in the satin-lined nooks of Dead Breitbart’s Mausoleum for Cocaine-Fueled Rage Monkeys, citing 2003’s Lawrence v. Texas decision as a related case that found “anal penetration was a hard-fought Constitutional right.” Organizations like the National Organization for Marriage (NOM … oh, nom nom nom) issued an incoherent denouncement threatening to behead – with votes – any Republican lawmakers who did not reaffirm the principle of traditional marriage, “a pillar of the party’s founding in 1856.” (Somewhere in the afterlife, John C. Fremont looked up and said, “What?”) But mostly, the reaction felt muted. Read more on Ted Cruz Will Fix Constitution So Judges Can’t Gay Us Anymore…
  you don't have to dress badly to be a homophobe -- but it helps!

Hate-Fest Fashion: Men of the Sweat-Soaked Cloth

If you’re having a party to advocate keeping the gays second-class citizens as long as possible and holding it in the very best swampy heat that Washington, DC has to offer, there are many things you need to ask yourself. In addition to questioning any number of your life choices, you must decide what to wear! And so Wonkette proudly presents the Sweaty Fundamentalist Summer Collection. Read more on Hate-Fest Fashion: Men of the Sweat-Soaked Cloth…
  thank god almighty

Mike Huckabee And National Organization For Marriage Are Your New Civil Rights Heroes, America

Yesterday, you may have noticed that it was a key date in the history of American civil rights. On June 19, 1964, the Senate passed the Civil Rights Act, which Lyndon B. Johnson would sign two weeks later on July 2. But after this year, no one will remember anything about that stupid old Civil Rights Act, because the real thing we will celebrate forevermore on June 19 is the March for Marriage, which drew literal scores of people to D.C. to hate on the gays getting married. Making this all the better: Mike Huckabee! Read more on Mike Huckabee And National Organization For Marriage Are Your New Civil Rights Heroes, America…
  thanks a lot obama

What If Fundamentalist Christians Cared About Other Things God Hates?

Like most of you, I do find fundamentalist Christians amusing, like clowns. Such merry puppets, spinning around and around!  Sometimes, however, it seems like they’ve gone into reruns: it’s all gays, gays, gays, and fetuses, fetuses, fetuses all the time, tsk. Our beloved Jesusy minstrels need some fresh material! What’s really a shame is that all the new material they need is right there in the Bible. There are soooo many things other than hairdressers and dead zygotes that God hates! Lucky for you I’ve got the Wonkette Time Scoop™ available, so we can peer into an alternative universe where Christians do spend more time hating these other, neglected things to hate, for Jesus. Unfortunately, the Wonkette Time Scoop™ kind of sucks, and all it can get from this unnervingly familiar parallel world is a few screen shots. Join me after the jump for a look! Read more on What If Fundamentalist Christians Cared About Other Things God Hates?…
  morning in gaymerica

Anti-Gay Bigots Accuse Attorney General Eric Holder Of Federal Over-Reach-Around On Gay Rights

Don’t look now, but marriage as we know it is crumbling. Seriously, the allure of man-on-dog-on-oak-tree action is running rampant, and Uncle Sam is doing nothing but encouraging these unnatural homosexual unions, and treating gay people like people, which is UNACCEPTABLE. Attorney General Eric Holder is pushing this ‘all men created equal’ bullshit even further, per The Hill: Attorney Gen. Eric Holder revealed Saturday that the Justice Department would issue a policy memo this week granting gay couples the ability to file jointly for bankruptcy and guaranteeing that married same–sex partners would not be forced to testify against each other in trial. The book of Revelations clearly states that the Apocalypse will be preceded by civilly married gay couples going broke and filling out paperwork for joint bankruptcy JUST LIKE STRAIGHT COUPLES DO. Repent! Or INPEACH! Or something. Let’s same-sexplore.  Read more on Anti-Gay Bigots Accuse Attorney General Eric Holder Of Federal Over-Reach-Around On Gay Rights…
  free speech for me but not for thee

Duck Dynasty Is The New ‘White Santa’ And Now There Is So Much Derp

We know everyone is shocked — SHOCKED — that a conservative christian reality teevee star thinks that gays are super-icky because who would want buttsechs in the bumbum when the sweet sweet vajayjay is RIGHT THERE for the taking?!? In fact, we know many women who completely agree that the vajayjay is, indeed, rather awesome. Read more on Duck Dynasty Is The New ‘White Santa’ And Now There Is So Much Derp…
  the rabbit died

Universe Implodes Under Combined Weight of Maggie Gallagher, Kathryn Jean Lopez’s Giant Brains

We had such high hopes for the greatest tete a tete of this or any era, When Maggie Met K-Lo. But it turns out, when you get two overly repressed spinsters together to kaffeeklatsch on Gays and Stuff, it is actually really fucking boring. Maggie and K-Lo are all like, boo Karl Rove, boo truces, yay culture war that is how Republicans will win yesterday, today, and tomorrow, boo Gerald Ford (!), and boo taking away the ‘civil rights’ that is allowing people to vote on other people’s civil rights. YAWN, LADIES. It doesn’t even have the piquancy of K-Lo’s twitstream, which at least is hilariously focused on how we are oppressing the bishops by not allowing them to Torquemada other people’s sex lives for them, and also how she tweets novenas like twice a day (and also retweets her own NRO posts like 9 times each, just ICYMI). And nowhere does it question Maggie about how getting ditched by a dude when she was a preggers co-ed leads to the math science of words (LOGIC!) that lesbies and gheyz can’t marry each other because that guy didn’t marry Maggie Gallagher SAD FACE EMOTICON. So let’s check in on just one question, one VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION, about why is the Supreme Court infringing on religious liberty by not making evangelical Christianisms the law of the land? Read more on Universe Implodes Under Combined Weight of Maggie Gallagher, Kathryn Jean Lopez’s Giant Brains…
  second place is like the first place loser

National Organization For Marriage Does Not Think Much Of You Straight Adopters Either

Have you been missing the illustrious minds over at the National Organization for Marriage (NOM nom nom nom nom)? Probably! Perhaps since it isn’t election season and teh gheys aren’t all up in your face demanding equality, you have forgotten about NOM, much like you forgot about Dre. Don’t sweat it, though. Much like the poor, NOM will always be with you. And you don’t even have to hate the gays! Now you can hate on people who are heterosexxxican baby buyers! Read more on National Organization For Marriage Does Not Think Much Of You Straight Adopters Either…
  nom nom nom

Wingnuts Hold Anti-Gay Jeebus Conference In Magical Eastern Mexican Land of ‘Spain’

Have any of our Wonkette readers ever been to a Foreign Country? Haha, oh my heck, no, of course not! All Godjesus-worshipping Americans know that all other countries are full of squalor and general brown-ness and should only be visited for the purposes of converting their heathen denizens to the one true religion of American Christianity, which involves going to the local Chick-Fil-A and stuffing as many chicken nuggets in your gaping maw hole as you can and then diving face first into a tub of soft serve frozen yogurt because God Hates Homos, or something like that, don’t know, haven’t been paying attention in church. It’s the weirdest Eucharist ever. Read more on Wingnuts Hold Anti-Gay Jeebus Conference In Magical Eastern Mexican Land of ‘Spain’…
  New frontiers in cause and effect

Wingnut Boycotters Take Credit For Starbucks’ Business Cycle, JC Penney’s Lousy Management

What if they held a boycott and nobody stayed home? Protectors of traditional missionary-position-only marriage between straight people have been trying, without much success, to make big corporations stop being so darn gay. By most measures, the “One Million Moms” boycott of JC Penney Co and the The National Organization For Marriage boycotts of Starbucks Coffee had no measurable effects on sales (we now pause 20 seconds to let you get “OMM, NOM NOM NOM” out of your system. It is a reflex, just go with it). But happily for the activist groups, we’re still in a sluggish economy where stock performance, corporate profits, and consumer choices can fluctuate for a variety of reasons, so any bad news for either company MUST mean that the boycott has been a thundering success, so YAY for Traditional Marriage! Looks like another flawless victory for the Forces of Good. Read more on Wingnut Boycotters Take Credit For Starbucks’ Business Cycle, JC Penney’s Lousy Management…
  manic street preachers

Street Preachers Threatening To Rape Lesbians At Michigan Pride Event May Be Doing It Wrong

Good news, white people! We have found some actual black racists at a Michigan Gay Day event, so because of this, you are correct that whites are never bigots! LOGIC! Yay you! And in heartening news for the National Organization for Marriage, they are super gay-hatey too! And to echo the immortal plea of Abigail Adams, don’t forget to hate on the ladies! “And if your ass get to going out there like you said, guess what?” a supercrazy black supremacist Bible man says to a Gay Day participant. “You get raped. And that’s what’s going to happen to you. … Keep your pussy clean, that’s all you need to do. Do you understand?” Yes? We understand? But oh, there is ever so much more! Read more on Street Preachers Threatening To Rape Lesbians At Michigan Pride Event May Be Doing It Wrong…
  pix or gtfo

NOM Wingnuts Launch ‘2M4M’ Initiative

The very scary National Organization for Marriage folks have launched this new initiative, “2 Million For Marriage,” about trolling for hot anal sex on Craigslist. This group is still not considered a parody, for the record. [NOM via TPM] Read more on NOM Wingnuts Launch ‘2M4M’ Initiative…
  not parody

Queer Hurricane To Kill Everyone

Check out these idiots — or at least actors pretending to be idiots — from the comically named “National Organization for Marriage,” warning everyone that the fucking faggots are coming to eat and smash and feel up your christened conservative babies in Iowa and places! “There’s a storm gathering. The clouds are dark, and the wind is strong. And I am afraid.” Well maybe you shouldn’t stand in an open field during a lightning storm DUH. [YouTube] Read more on Queer Hurricane To Kill Everyone…