national mall

America, your long national nightmare is almost over! As predicted, tens of millions of protesters have flooded into Washington DC, bringing the city to a halt and trapping the illegal so-called “leaders” of the illegitimate, unconstitutional “government” inside the walls of their marble fortresses — but only temporarily, as they will surely hear the call […]

Michele Bachmann leads a rough life. Despite being a Congresswoman, former presidential front-runner, and a national spokesperson for Crazy Eye Syndrome, she has a problem. As a straight person, she is tired of being bullied by the gays all the time. Bachmann recently went on the Lars Larson show to discuss CPAC, and discussed being […]

Several thousand people marched on the National Mall yesterday to call for comprehensive immigration reform, and over 150 people were arrested when they blocked the street, including eight Democratic members of Congress, among them the awesome handsome Keith Ellison, pictured above. Conservatives on Twitter pondered the implications for national policy: Why was this protest allowed […]

We had the immense great pleasure (not really) of ear-witnessing the police kill that poor postpartum crazy lady at the Capitol yesterday. (We actually had “postpartum” when we heard there was a baby in the car, till we were swayed by the equally valid suggestion “some man in the White House is shitting himself right […]

As the world knows, one of those stations on the teevee reserved some of the green areas of the National Mall on which to have a comedy concert thing, and this is happening right now. If you decided you did not want to go to this thing and be forced to stand among the unwashed […]

If you haven’t heard, Comedy Central is going to have a comedy event this weekend on the National Mall, because some of their shows are primarily rooted in political humor. This has very much confused the media, because people who hold “rallies” on this spot of dirt and grass are usually very political! (Except for […]

Such mystery surrounding the Jon Stewart/Stephen Colbert comedy rally in Washington this Saturday! One mysterious thing is that people who work for news outlets in DC “can’t go” because it is going to be funny, but perhaps not funny in the way that angry old racist people playing bumper cars with their obesity scooters are […]

What an inspiring speech! There’s birther Phil Berg, leader of this rally, hacking up phlegm and relaying the laundry list of “proof” we all know now by heart that the president was not born in the United States. As Dave Weigel notes, there were “dozens of people” at this thing! That is a really big […]

Slate will be contrarian about anything, including, from time to time when they want to rinse out their mouths, contrarianism, so it comes as no surprise that one among them decided to warn us all that the upcoming Jon Stewart / Stephen Colbert political-rally parody event is a bad idea. Writer Timothy Noah is an […]

At one point in our nation’s history, popular political action was supposed to mean something. For example, the entire Vietnam War was fought because the Vietcong stole John Kerry’s windsurfing board, and all of America’s youth gathered in the streets to protest this by sticking flowers filled with explosives into the guns of the National […]

Feel the excitement! Maybe it was early? Or late? Or lame? Judging from the number of cell-phone pictures (zero) and tips (zero) we’ve received, it sounds like you’re all as excited about the Big Libtard Rally as we are!

The most important thing concerning liberals is no longer getting their party — which actually controls the legislative and executive branches — to pass liberal laws; it is to spend all their time criticizing teevee people who just want to make money off of the stupidity of conservatives. Thus, liberal groups are coming together this […]

If there’s anything we’ve learned from this koran-burning non-story, it’s that people from Florida are idiots. (Haha, we already knew that.) Well get ready, Washingtonians, because, according to the back of this Toyota RAV4 spotted on I-395, Floridians are in town for a big 9/12 rally on the Mall!

Glenn Beck and an army of Teabaggers are going to march on Washington on the anniversary of the “I Have a Dream” speech this weekend for some reason or another. Basically somebody at Beck headquarters said, “Let’s get some of those yelling people to yell about things on the National Mall, but let’s put Glenn […]

President Obama basically alienated every law enforcement official in the country when he called that Cambridge cop an ignoramus during his health care phone-a-thon on Wednesday. And now the DC chapter of the National Fraternal Order of Police has publicly chastised the President!