President Obama basically alienated every law enforcement official in the country when he called that Cambridge cop an ignoramus during his health care phone-a-thon on Wednesday. And now the DC chapter of the National Fraternal Order of Police has publicly chastised the President! MORE »

Sunday, April 19: If you were too busy avoiding “hope” (Garth Brooks) to attend the free inaugural concert in January, then you have another chance to enjoy a free ride with the Green Apple Music Festival on the National Mall. You’ll have to endure some speeches about the environment (which, face it, will only hurt a little) but in between you get a free show from the FURRY-APPROVED Flaming Lips, DJ Spooky, Los Lobos, and Phish-lite jam band Moe. Chevy Chase (the person, not the city) will be the MC! Solar panels for all! Free, starts at 12PM. [Green Apple Music Festival]
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If you have not checked out Intern Elizabeth’s terrifying images of hipster violence on the National Mall over the weekend, during the Cherry Blossom Festival, you should do that. Here is a high-resolution film of the event, in which perfectly good goose feather pillows were destroyed because the Internet told them to. [YouTube]

There were a LOT of things happening on our National Mall this weekend, most of which involved masses of people erratically circling trees or hot dog stands or monuments, pausing briefly to bump into you, and then moving on to annoy someone else. As frustrating as it was trying to beat even a moderately direct path through this nonsense, it was kind of worth it to see a bunch of weird hipsters whip out their pillows and start pummeling each other. MORE »

If you always wanted to be part of those spontaneous demonstrations that just happen in public (like freezing in place at the Grand Central Station, or breaking out in a musical number in the middle of a food court), then here’s your chance. This Saturday, in honor of National Pillow Fight Day, the DC Defenestrators have organized a massive pillow fight event on the National Mall and Dupont Circle.
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DEATH TUNNEL: It’s another on-the-ground report from our brave correspondent Josh Pfotenhauer! “Thousands of us are being funneled into the filthy road tunnel under the Mall,” he writes. “What could possibly go wrong? The brave souls are singing ‘god bless America’ to keep their spirits up, until the air runs out.”

* Oohhs and Aahhs soul food now open 11PM until 5AM on weekends. [DCFUD]
* The National Park Service cares more about folks who ride Segways on the National Mall than ride bikes. [WABA]
* “I suppose I should be flattered that reporters from the Washington City Paper and Columbia Journalism Review Daily have been investigating this blog. But, really, I’m just confused.” [circumlocator]
* List of Marion Barry hijinks from 2005-2006 season of Who Gives a Fuck? [a blog for the rest of us]

The Vietnam Memorial, known for being the only war memorial in the country not inspired by Albert Speer, will be getting a much-needed facelift! Ground will be broken soon on a $999 billion (or something, we didn’t read that closely) “visitor center” that’ll bring some much-needed family entertainment to the dour ol’ granite wall. Take at look at just a few of the kick-ass plans: MORE »

[Religious] supporters will be taking the extraordinary step of praying and believing that God will reduce crime in our nation’s capitol over the next six months…. MORE »

• Crime emergency continues as corn-rolled City-council-candidate-car-killer kicks out window, escapes police, vows Cropp is next. [Stop, Blog, And Roll]

• DC braces for the coming throngs of “an unholy army of undead mice.” [Pie Pants]
• Discovery Channel’s new marketing strategy involves catch phrase “I want a mother fucking shark up on this mother fucking building!” [I Am A Lefty; Silver Spring, Singular]
• “Screen On The Green” begins tonight as soon as the sun stops blazing, meaning you can start. [DCist]
• Wired editor and Web 2.0 ethos-definer Chris Anderson was, like everyone else, in a DC postpunk band. [Valleywag]

• AU ex-prez’s wife calls him “the most ethical man I ever met.” And he’s not married to Harriet Miers. Still: “What, did Ladner pull this woman off a pirate ship or something? Honey, I’ve met more ethical men on the sets of Estonian bukkake movies.” [DCeiver]
• “Memorials on the National Mall? So Crazy, It Just Might Work” [G.p]
• What if you had a 17th Street Drag Race and everybody came? [DCist's Flickr]
• Butterstick’s lethal level of adorability claims another victim. [Blacktable]