Remember Guantanamo Bay, that rascally little island paradise which sorta robbed America of any remaining moral superiority it had been frittering away since World War II? Well, Obama FAILED in his promise to personally release and hump every prisoner within, so it’s still housing terrible foreigners. But after seven years, National Geographic somehow managed to sneak in and make a documentary about it, and your Wonkette was invited to preview the horror. MORE »

Tuesdays: Cafe Mozart, a German deli on H St. NW, is selling draft beers for a reduced price during happy hour every Tuesday. Be sure to order something sausagey from the bar menu — their wurst selection is supposed to be off the hook. [Cafe Mozart] MORE »

Tuesday, March 31: Since the beginning of March, National Geographic Society has been playing films, TV programs and documentaries for free every Tuesday at noon for the Golden Triangle lunch crowd. Catch the Naked Science episode on time machines, then spend the rest of your day thinking about the space-time continuum. [NG] MORE »

Friday, March 20: Hit up the Freer Gallery tonight for the DC premiere of 24 City, a Chinese film directed by Jia Zhangke warning of the Perils of Capitalism. 24 City illustrates the country’s changing landscape — a citywide factory park, over the course of three generations, becomes a giant complex of luxury apartments. 7PM. [Environmental Film Festival] MORE »

New: What would the architectural model of the ocean look like? Maya Lin, artist, architect and designer of the Gash In The Earth, a.k.a. the Vietnam Veterans Memorial, has created sculptures and installations of natural landscapes using a series of very unnatural grids and maps. At the Corcoran, until July 12. [Corcoran] MORE »

Our Anonymous Hill Staffer, direct from Bangalore: “So I got a lot of questions that couldn’t be answered by a Hill staffer without a little help… luckily, every government agency (and most NGOs) have departments dedicated to answering the asinine questions of Hill staffers… so I forwarded the questions along, and paraphrased their answers back.”

We gotta say, your questions are getting weirder. Death, taxes, and garbage disposals, after the jump.

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America’s fastest Senator: John Sununu, who ran his leg of the ACLI Capital Challenge in a respectable 20:10. Not quite the fastest lawmaker, though, as Representative Bart Gordon (D-TN), who sounds like maybe the hero of a series of young adult adventure novels, ran an impressive 18:05. The full list is here, but it’s pretty damn long — you see any particularly funny names in there we missed, give us a holler. National Geographic was the fastest print media team, and, hilariously, NPR beat Fox. Enjoy those words, NPR, you don’t hear them very often. MORE »