For the past six months, the National Enquirer has devoted 148% of its coverage to the extramarital affairs of political types. This month’s installment brings you Cindy McCain’s torrid face-sucking antics with a “a long-haired man who resembles ‘a washed-up ’80s rock musician.’” Ugh, gross. MORE »

Well, if the National Enquirer’s latest story isn’t entirely factual we will just eat our hats. Once upon a time Sarah Palin’s husband Todd had a business partner — no, not that one — some snowmobile dealer named Brad Hanson, and Sarah Palin allegedly had an affair with this fellow. You see, Todd was always away on business, but Todd’s business partner stayed home, for the purposes of fucking Todd’s wife, apparently! So says the former brother-in-law of the brother of Hanson’s wife. MORE »

So John Edwards has admitted to banging that broad, Rielle. Here is a nice long story about what he will tell one of the Woodruffs on teevee tonight. Since it is Friday, none of your editors wanted to write a real, thorough post about this. So we have held a chat session to discuss John Edwards’ bastard child. It isn’t very readable, but it is long, so you really have no excuse. MORE »

So the whole time this Edwards Love Child scandal has been breaking and breaking, everybody has been asking the same question: where are the photos of John Edwards cowering in a Beverly Hills hotel bathroom and acting seedy all over the place? Well, the National Enquirer has finally delivered the goods, in the form of SPY PHOTOS revealing an Edwards-type figure hoisting aloft a remarkably human-looking child. MORE »

We’re having trouble getting into this latest iteration of the John Edwards/Rielle Hunter/Love Child story, probably because, um, who gives a shit about this loser or his bastard? For what it’s worth, however, he offered a curt denial today in Houston, where he was talking to a low-income housing aid organization: “That’s tabloid trash… They’re full of lies. I’m here to talk about helping people.” Oh ho ho, so now Mr. Altruism over here thinks that helping poor people is more important than his ubiquitous boner, hmm? [Houston Press]

Last month’s National Enquirer story on John Edwards and his alleged affair with campaign staffer Rielle Hunter may or may not be total bullshit. One insider said “there’s a lot of smoke… no smoking gun,” while another said the tab has plans to publish e-mails containing damning details of the reported affair. MORE »

Crazy week for Teddy Kennedy, right? First he bags $8.5 million for his autobiography, which fetched more than Hillary Clinton’s Living History ($8 million) but fell short of deals for Tony Blair ($10 million) and Bill Clinton ($12 million). Then the woman who allegedly had Kennedy’s love child sued the National Enquirer over last year’s cover story which claimed Uncle Teddy got her preggers, paid her a measly $15,000 to shut the fuck up, and had her apartment “ransacked and evidence of their relationship removed.” She also says she fears for her life and warns that she could end up like Mary Jo Kopechne. You know, dead. But apparently she’s under psychiatric care, so, you know… Court docs, and original story after the jump!

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The National Enquirer published one of those fun exclusives they do yesterday called “PRESIDENTIAL CHEATING SCANDAL!” The “President” in question is John Edwards, that studly Adonis who likely has dozens of staffers offering fresh trim by the bushel. MORE »

• Heard on the Hill: A freelance photographer has been sneaking into the Senate Photo Studio. . . Rep. Adam Putnam (R-Fla.) catches a 360-pound shark. . . Chuck Norris meets his biggest fan, the Senate elevator operator. [Roll Call]
• Under the Dome: Glenn Close visits the Hill to save wild animals. . . Sen. Chuck Hagel (R-Neb.) is reaching out to the Polish-American vote. [The Hill]
• Rush & Molloy: National Enquirer uncovers photos of Rep. Patrick Kennedy dressed up as Michael Jackson. . . Rupert Murdoch on raising funds for Hillary: “It’s not a million-dollar raising. It’s got nothing to do with anything other than her Senate re-election.” [NYDN]
• Inside the Beltway: C-SPAN will add the major cities in congressional districts to their lower-third graphics. [WT]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Laurie Dhue wins a free trip to Jordan at a party for Queen Rania. . . Ralph Nader gets a form letter response from Bill Clinton. [NYDN]
• Cindy Adams: What about a Gore-Clinton ticket? [NYP]

We previously asked you about a blind item, from Payola Six, concerning the cocaine-using daughter “of a high-powered politician.” In your guesses, some of you suggested Chelsea Clinton. We dismissed such speculation: “Chelsea Clinton was jokingly named (jokingly, since she’s probably too much of a goody-goody to do coke).” MORE »

• Reliable Source: Laura Bush on Sen. Hillary Clinton’s plantation remarks: “I think it’s ridiculous, it’s a ridiculous comment. That’s what I think.” [WP]
• Rush & Molloy: The National Enquirer stands by its story that Sen. Ted Kennedy has a 21-year-old “secret love child”. . . George Tenet, dropped from Crown, gets picked up by Harper-Collins. [NYDN]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: David Wade, Sen. John Kerry’s spokesman, issues feisty defense to upcoming GQ article that says Kerry “blew his best chance and that he’s ‘delusional.’” Wade: “I won’t lose sleep over the inside-the-beltway musings of a reporter too young to shave and the Chardonnay-drinking pals he met on the cocktail party circuit.” The reporter, though, is older than Wade. [NYDN]