Tag Archives: nate silver

  defeated by oscars goblins

Nate Silver Must Be Fired From Statistics

Welllll Mr. Fancy Baseball and Politics Man knows nothing about the Oscars, apparently! He thought that Taraji Henson would win Best Supporting Actress and Mickey Rourke would win Best Actor. Silver’s calculations excluded several important factors, including: 1) Penelope Cruz is very hot and 2) Sean Penn starred in a feel-good Issues Movie that concerns an issue that many people in Hollywood care about. Nate Silver must be publicly shamed, his statistics license revoked, and his $700,000 book advance donated to a math academy of his choice. [New York Magazine, OSCAR.com] Read more on Nate Silver Must Be Fired From Statistics…
  rumors on the internets

Not Red States Or Blue States But Former Soviet States

ROBOT Magazine February centerfold Nate Silver has predicted that Slumdog Millionare will be the new senator from Minnesota. [Andrew Sullivan] Republicans are telling slanderous lies about Nevadan God of Impotence Harry Reid’s high-speed casino-to-Hollywood ambitions. [Matthew Yglesias] Read more on Not Red States Or Blue States But Former Soviet States…
  perhaps the nerdiest post ever written

POLL ANALYST FIGHT!

In the months leading up to the presidential election, the single most important time of the day, every day, was late in the afternoon, when Nate Silver’s “Today’s Polls, dd/mm” from FiveThirtyEight would appear in America’s Google Readers. Nothing excited liberals more than seeing a new SurveyUSA poll showing Obama +7 in Virginia, for example, precisely because Silver told us all that SurveyUSA was a good pollster. But you know who else was good, and got less credit, was Mark Blumenthal over there at Pollster.com. Poor underappreciated Mark Blumenthal! He used fancy regressions on his poll averages too, you know!? Well we haven’t looked at either of these sites since November 5, but this random Andrew Sullivan post tells us that Silver and Blumenthal are still doing poll analysis — and they’re reaching shockingly different conclusions. Read more on POLL ANALYST FIGHT!…
  our vanishing cretins

Nate Silver’s Magic Numbers Prove Rednecks Don’t Exist

Statistics freak Nate Silver was supposed to go away after the election, which he rigged with algebra or something in order to create the first black president, which is the ultimate political statistic, for masturbating. Now the fivethirtyeight.com sensation has a column in the gay fashion glossy, Esquire. It’s kind of interesting! Basically, Nate has figured out — using his patented number voodoo — that the worst people in America are literally disappearing, leaving a nation of sexy multi-racial city slickers who drive hybrids and do anal on first dates. Read more on Nate Silver’s Magic Numbers Prove Rednecks Don’t Exist…
  economic indicators

Intrade Sez: 40 Percent Chance Of Depression

Hey people cheer up! Your Nate Silver, that mathbot you all loved so much until the election was over, has persisted with his math and numbers to this very day. Most of the time he just worries about that whole boring sordid Franken/Coleman mess in Wasilla. But maybe because Depression reporting is such a “hot trend,” he has written about what the chances are we will actually enter one of these depression thingums in the near future. Read more on Intrade Sez: 40 Percent Chance Of Depression…
  end this

Your Latest Imaginary Minnesota Senate Recount News: Al Franken, Uh, ‘Winning’

The Al Franken team announced today that under its special recount tracking methodology, Franken’s ahead by 22 votes over that cock Norm Coleman! The maths here seem rather terrible: “The Franken camp’s methodology involves taking down the opinions of the local election officials regarding the challenged ballots, and assuming that all the challenges will result in those local officials being upheld by the state canvassing board.” Nah, they just read Nate Silver’s projection and shaved off a few votes, to make it look authentic. [TPM Election Central] Read more on Your Latest Imaginary Minnesota Senate Recount News: Al Franken, Uh, ‘Winning’…
  queer theory

Nate Silver Has Mathematical Theory For Prop. 8

Hey gays, you like Nate Silver, yes? He is a vanquisher of angry cursing wingnuts and the sexual mentor to a hot new generation of polynomials. That’s two things to like! In an interview with Queerty he talks about numbers and gay things by explaining why we should blame the passage of California’s Prop. 8 not on black people but on old people of all colors and hues. (You will all click the “MORE” button now because Nate Silver is your new Sarah Palin: sweet sexy pageview bait.) Read more on Nate Silver Has Mathematical Theory For Prop. 8…
  dork wars

Nate Silver Cussed Out By Angry Wingnut

Wow! One might have guessed, given his charmingly nerdsome appearance and general blinky “how do I translate from numbers into English?” mannerisms that Nate Silver would be somewhat conflict averse. But no man he BRINGS IT. He interviewed some guy who commissioned a Zogby poll that proved, factually, that Obama voters are all a bunch of ignorant black Muslims. There’s even a YouTube to prove it! Anyhow Silver called up this very shirty gentleman John Ziegler to discuss his survey methods. Ziegler called him a pinhead and said many hilariously nasty things. Read more on Nate Silver Cussed Out By Angry Wingnut…
  rich dandies

OK NOW IT’S TIME TO START HATING NATE SILVER: Remember how Nate Silver was working on a two-book deal? Well GOOD GOD: “New intelligence says Mr. Silver’s advance is in the neighborhood of $700,000, give or take a few grand. Now Mr. Silver just has to choose which imprint he likes best, a process that is unlikely to be resolved before next week.” Nate Silver is the only person in American history to realize the American Dream. [NY Observer] Read more on …
  pretend boyfriends

National Hero Nate Silver Writing Lots Of Books For Lots Of $$$

Oh Nate Silver, how we long for your embrace! Spin us a tale of numbers and regressions, just like in the old days? Like that time you Internet-fought the Real Clear Politics guy when he wasn’t accurately weighing reputable polls… yes… just yes. Whoa what’s this, you’re writing a book. Two books! WANT. NOW. Please include sexy nude numbers pix. The numbers 5 and 8, 69ing. We don’t read for the words. [NY Observer] Read more on National Hero Nate Silver Writing Lots Of Books For Lots Of $$$…
  judgment day

So… Which Pollsters Live, Which Will Be Killed?

After 2004, two groups were blamed for making John Kerry’s loss extra sad for the liberals: those secret retards from off-the-grid caves that Karl Rove forced to vote at the last minute, and pollsters. All of the pollsters failed spectacularly on Election Day in 2004, especially with exit polls. Everyone knew that John Kerry was too much of a cocksmoker to possibly win anything, and yet these pollsters committed the CARDINAL SIN of getting Democrats’ hopes up about a national victory of any kind. But this year they tried again. Who will be first against the wall? Read more on So… Which Pollsters Live, Which Will Be Killed?…
  numbers and statistics

That FiveThirtyEight Guy On ‘The Colbert Report’

Hey look who was on The Colbert Report last night — everybody’s new secret boyfriend, the esteemed baseball stats dork Nate Silver! He calls John McCain the Seattle Pilots, which is apparently funny? The point is, if this guy does not have a book deal and a standing job offer from Barack Obama by November 5, we will eat our hats. [Colbertnation] Read more on That FiveThirtyEight Guy On ‘The Colbert Report’…