Tag Archives: nasa

  Take A Cruz On Denial

Now It Is Ted Cruz Who Is Poor Persecuted Galileo, And Climate Scientists Are The Church

Get your denier bingo cards out!
In a bravura performance Tuesday, Ted Cruz crammed an astonishing number of lies about global warming into four minutes of a longer interview with Texas Tribune reporter Jay Root. It was really pretty impressive! Cruz asserted that “we should follow the science and follow the evidence” on climate change, and then proceeded to reel off a whole catalogue of distortions, half-truths, and outright lies that have been refuted again and again. He hit just about every space on the Climate Denial Bingo card; for the sake of our sanity, we won’t refute everything he said, just some of our favorite stretchers. Read more on Now It Is Ted Cruz Who Is Poor Persecuted Galileo, And Climate Scientists Are The Church…
  Ground Control To Major Ted

Hero Ted Cruz Will Save Us All From NASA Studying Our Climate

JPL'S Orbiting Carbon Observatory 2
Ted Cruz is pretty darn annoyed with NASA these days, seeing as how it’s just been wasting a lot of taxpayer money studying the climate and foolishness like that. For heaven’s sake, everyone knows that NASA is supposed to be about space, and there is no climate in space. And that’s why he was ready to give a good talking-to to NASA Administrator Charles Bolden about all these stupid satellites that NASA has looking down at boring old Earth and its atmosphere and oceans, instead of looking out at other, more interesting things that are far away. So Cruz, who chairs the subcommittee that oversees NASA, kicked off a hearing last Thursday by asking Bolden just why NASA is ignoring its key mission of doing science to things that won’t cause problems for the fossil fuel industry. Read more on Hero Ted Cruz Will Save Us All From NASA Studying Our Climate…
  Here have some news n stuff

Idiot Republican Remembers Leonard Nimoy As Best Republican EVER!

What they said
For a guy who claims to be the hugest Star Trek fan in this galaxy or any other, Oregon state Rep. Bill Post is kind of a moron. After we learned last week of the death of Leonard Nimoy (not a Republican), who played the beloved (but, ahem, fictional) character of Mr. Spock (also not a Republican), Post took to the floor of the Legislature to pay tribute to an actor-slash-fictional-character who was, apparently, a better Republican than even Abraham Lincoln, St. Ronald Reagan, or Martin Luther King, Jr.: Read more on Idiot Republican Remembers Leonard Nimoy As Best Republican EVER!…
  Here have some news n stuff

Correction: Barack Obama Is Not In Fact The Antichrist

But it says so in the Bible!
Best newspaper correction ever or BEST EVER?Here’s the original letter. It’s quite something: Who and what is Barack Obama? Obama claims nobody can stop him or change anything he’s done. This evil must come to pass before the Lord’s return and the rise of the Antichrist, but you better know what evil you’re dealing with. Nobody is promised another minute of life upon this earth, and judgment comes at the time of your death. Read more on Correction: Barack Obama Is Not In Fact The Antichrist…
  Here have some news n stuff

Good Job, Everyone! 2014 Was The Hottest Year Ever, And It’s All Our Fault

We set a new record in 2014, heating our oceans and destroying this one and only planet we live on, but it’s OK because some “scientist” somewhere says it’s a hoax and God will take care of it anyway. High fives and trophies and gold stars for everybody! Read more on Good Job, Everyone! 2014 Was The Hottest Year Ever, And It’s All Our Fault…
  They're Doing Science And We're Still Alive

Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio Now In Charge Of Murdering Science In The Senate

We'd watch this, actually
It’s a great day to not believe in science, America! Sen. John Thune, chair of the Senate Commerce, Science and Transportation Committee, has picked the perfect heads for two science subcommittees: Ted Cruz, who doesn’t like NASA doing science related to global warming, will head the Subcommittee on Space, Science and Competitiveness. And Marco Rubio, another climate denier and one of the first adopters of the “I’m not a scientist” meme, will chair the Subcommittee on Oceans, Atmosphere, Fisheries and Coast Guard, which of course has oversight of NOAA, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. Gentlemen, start your fox and henhouse clichés! Read more on Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio Now In Charge Of Murdering Science In The Senate…
  Here have some news n stuff

At The Times, A Call For New York Cops To Do Their F*cking Jobs

Take a nap on your own time
It would seem the editorial writers of the usually sedate New York Times are a tad miffed about a thing. And it’s not how hard it is to find good help these days to make organic artisanal vegan food for Little Junior, or how the ladies need to stop being more successful than the menfolk and just marry whatever Tom, Dick, or Harry is interested. Nope, the Times is, in fact, righteously and justifiably a tad miffed — and by “a tad miffed,” we mean AS MAD AS HELL at New York’s “finest” — and they are NOT going to take it anymore: Read more on At The Times, A Call For New York Cops To Do Their F*cking Jobs…
  Here have some news n stuff

SCOTUS Throat-Crams Florida With Gay Marriage Because Duh, That’s What Happens Now

At this rate, we're going to run out of these
You really have to wonder why the “traditional marriage” crybaby bigots even bother anymore, when it’s so obvious that aside from the extra-ultra-conservatives who are in the teeny tiny minority, the highest court in the land does NOT want to hear their whining: Read more on SCOTUS Throat-Crams Florida With Gay Marriage Because Duh, That’s What Happens Now…
  Here have some news n stuff

House GOP Knows DC Voters Didn’t Mean to Legalize Weed

Not so fast, man
We all know how important it is to Republicans that the will of The People is never, ever overturned by some arbitrary branch of the eeeeevil Big Government. Like, say, when The People vote to ban rights for The Gay? Yeah, the government should stay the hell out of that. However, when the people vote to legalize marijuana, well, that’s a whole nother thing entirely, and it is obviously obvious that voters are idiots who need the government to step in and fix that for them: Read more on House GOP Knows DC Voters Didn’t Mean to Legalize Weed…
  Sweet Dreams And Flying Machines In Pieces On The Ground

Space Case Donald Trump Hates Private Enterprise Now

Burnin' out his fuse up there alone
An unmanned Antares rocket exploded seconds after liftoff from a facility in Virginia yesterday, with the total loss of a payload of food, water, and scientific experiments bound for the International Space Station. It was pretty spectacular: Read more on Space Case Donald Trump Hates Private Enterprise Now…
  Here have some news n stuff

NASA Found This Amazing Monster Black Hole Inside A Teeny Galaxy, No Big

Pretttttttty
Image Credit: NASA, ESA, STScI-RCC14-41a We have SCIENCE! that is so cool, we’re going to start with that today. (Look up. Look at the science. Isn’t it pretty?) We also have a Very Interesting Theory, a super absurd conspiracy theory, the future of travel, and a guy who races the subway … and wins. Read more on NASA Found This Amazing Monster Black Hole Inside A Teeny Galaxy, No Big…
  Your morning cup of wut?

This 9/11 Story Will Make You Cry In The Good Way And Other News You Can Maybe Use

Wake up, Wonketeers, the weekend’s over. Back to the stone what we grind, with some awwwwwwwww news, awful news, and yup, SCIENCE! It’s not often you read a story about 9/11 and cry happy tears and thank whomever it is you thank when you are grateful that this story has a happy ending. But this story really does: Read more on This 9/11 Story Will Make You Cry In The Good Way And Other News You Can Maybe Use…
  the effluent society

Sundays With The Christianists: American History Textbooks For Homeschoolers Whose Father Knows Best

Let’s all hop into the Chrono-Tron for a dynamic trip to the Populuxe world of the 1950s, courtesy of a couple of rightwing Christian textbooks for the homeschool market. Along the way, we’ll learn that small government and pious people of faith created prosperity, and the decade’s high tax rates on the wealthy never have to be mentioned because that would be really inconvenient. Our 8th-grade textbook America: Land I Love (A Beka, 2006) is pretty sure that the economic boom of the ’50s had little to do with anything the government did; rather, the bestest thing about the ’50s is that it was a time when “the moral values of Biblical Christianity provided a just standard of law, order, and mutual respect, which in turn increased material prosperity.” The book’s chapter on the ’50s leads off with a section on “Moral Strength,” and subsections attribute the decade’s good times to “Respect for Christianity,” “Strong families, little crime,” and to the “Sanctity of life” — just in case students need three main paragraphs for their 5-paragraph essays. We learn that even though church attendance was, sadly, not universal, most people respected the Biblical teachings of law, order, and moral decency. Local governments often required stores to close on Sundays, and community activities were planned in many areas not to interfere with church services. School days often began with prayer and Bible reading, and parent—teacher meetings and civic organizations usually opened with prayer. In other words, it was as close to paradise as America got in the 20th century. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: American History Textbooks For Homeschoolers Whose Father Knows Best…
  rocket man

Astro Nice Time: Kid Gives His Piggy Bank To NASA, Gets Call From Real Space Man For Reals

We always feel a little guilty when we dress up a “not as horrible as it coulda been” story as a Nice Time story, and this has been a week where too many stories needed Remedial Kittens, so it is with some pleasure that we bring you this almost-unblemished story of Pure Nice: Connor Johnson, this niftadorable 6-year-old from Denver, has been nuts about the idea of going to space since he was three — the astronaut jammies, LEGO space shuttles, the usual stuff. SPACE! But then he recently learned that instead of expanding space exploration, the U.S.A. is talking about budget cuts and just not bothering. Connor decided that this state of affairs simply would not do, so he started an online petition to save NASA and sent the beleaguered agency his life’s savings of $10.41. This got Media Attention. And so on Wednesday, Connor Johnson got a phone call from retired astronaut Gene Cernan, the last man to walk on the moon. (Pardon us; there seems to be some lunar dust in our eye here…) But that’s not all: just to add a little booster rocket of “awwwwww,” Cernan called Connor on “the exact day that I stepped on the moon many, many years ago” (that would be 41 years ago). Read more on Astro Nice Time: Kid Gives His Piggy Bank To NASA, Gets Call From Real Space Man For Reals…
  creature features

Killer Brains, Gamma-Ray Fungus, And Octopus Selfies, All In This Week’s Sci-Blog

Ahoy Wonkeratti! It’s time once again for another horrible Wonkette Sci-Blog. Grasp a flagon of mead and come on in! Ah, Summer has passed into Fall, Fall is passing into Winter and the Season of Festivals is upon us once more. As the year’s harvest is gathered in, everyone prepares for the traditional Winter’s feasting and gift-giving celebrations. Supplies are gathered, the Meal is carefully prepared, all the far-flung spawn travel home to be with the family once again. Yes, the days of Cephalopodmas are wonderful, indeed. Read more on Killer Brains, Gamma-Ray Fungus, And Octopus Selfies, All In This Week’s Sci-Blog…
  austerity for thee but not for me

David Vitter Throws Totally Non-Hypocritical Temper Tantrum About Lack Of Federal Money Coming To New Orleans

We here at Wonket love… no, we luurrrvvveee hypocrisy. It feeds us, sustains us, amuses us, and gives us a reason for getting up every morning… that and whiskey. And there is no better source of hypocrisy than Sen. David Vitter (R-LA), who has once again taken a break from putting his ‘family values’ wenis into not-his-wife hookers in order to throw a fiscally responsible temper tantrum about how not enough federal pork is making its way to Louisiana. Per The Hill: Sen. David Vitter (R-La.) on Monday said he would block confirmation of President Obama’s nominee for undersecretary of the Energy Department. Vitter said he would hold up Elizabeth Robinson’s nomination because of NASA’s “stalling” of a project in New Orleans that he said would bring 300 to 600 jobs to his home state. Read more on David Vitter Throws Totally Non-Hypocritical Temper Tantrum About Lack Of Federal Money Coming To New Orleans…
  creature features

Abandoned Research, Lost Opportunities, and Closed Labs, All In This Week’s Government Shutdown Sci-Blog

Hello, Wonketeers! It’s time for another bizarre & disturbing Wonkette Sci-Blog. Get out your phones and come on in — we’re Drunk Dialing Congress! We were looking forward to devoting this week’s blog exclusively to the celebration of one of the year’s most anticipated holiday seasons: Cephalopod Awareness Days. However, as you all know we’re almost two weeks into the meaningless shutdown of the U.S. Federal Government and still careening towards this coming Thursday’s economic default. Now I feel compelled to continue chronicling this international embarrassment of an ongoing crisis in our government. I am truly sorry. It’s hardly the Nice Time post that would make me happy to write about, but these are not nice times. The relatively sane adults remaining in DC are now actually speaking (well, some of them still are) and working with each other to reopen shuttered agencies, restart Federal programs, pay Federal bills and avoid the global catastrophe of U.S. debt default. Whether anyone can talk the House Dumkopf Conference into anything less than total victory remains to be seen — they only listen to their very own tunes. This ridiculous shutdown standoff has to end sometime. If it does end with no capitulation to the radicals’ demands,  removal of the debt ceiling as hostage and ending this cycle of manufactured  governing crises, some will say it was worth it.  They would be wrong. Read more on Abandoned Research, Lost Opportunities, and Closed Labs, All In This Week’s Government Shutdown Sci-Blog…
  creature features

Kiss Your Precious ‘Experiments’ And ‘Research’ Goodbye, Eggheads: A Government Shutdown Edition Of Your Sci-Blog

Hi, Wonkeratti. It’s time once again for another infuriating Wonkette Sci-Blog. Sharpen your pitchforks, grab a torch and come on in. The very first Wonkette hotline tip I got on Monday was a forwarded link.  Just from reading the text in the link (Cassini found plastics! It has to be Titan, right? Cool!), it looked really interesting: http://www.nasa.gov/press/2013/september/nasas-cassini-spacecraft-finds-ingredient-of-household-plastic-in-space/#.Ukodzq68uRk What I saw when I clicked on it was what you’re looking at right now: a redirect from the NASA site to the Federal Government of the United States of America’s “Sorry, We’re Closed” sign. “Oh, dammit — well, here we go again” I thought. Read more on Kiss Your Precious ‘Experiments’ And ‘Research’ Goodbye, Eggheads: A Government Shutdown Edition Of Your Sci-Blog…
  creature features

Moon Rockets, Space Brains, And Vampire Squid, All In This Week’s Sci-Blog!

Hi there, Wonkeratti! It’s time once again for another appalling Wonkette sci-blog.Check the seals on your pressure suit and come on in! At 11:27 p.m. EDT Friday, NASA successfully launched a moon rocket exploration mission from the Space Coast. Woohoo, we’re goin’ to the Moon! Sounds like it’s the mid 1970’s, doesn’t it? It’s 2013, though and there has been change. Instead of the Kennedy Space Center, the Space Coast we’re launching from is now the Mid-Atlantic Regional Spaceport in the Eastern Shore of Virginia at the southern tip of NASA’s Wallops Flight Facility. This was the the first-ever lunar mission to launch from Virginia. Instead of an enormous, heavy lift Saturn V designed specifically for the Moon program,the launch vehicle was a smaller, 5 stage Minotaur V, constructed by the Orbital Dynamics company. Orbital Dynamics converted the Air Force’s retired stockpile of LGM-188 ballistic missiles to the Minotaur satellite launch vehicles. You might remember the LGM-188 better if we used its officially-designated euphemism “Peacekeeper” or its problematic development name “MX.” No longer carrying  a payload of 10 300-kiloton civilization obliterating bombs, these rockets are lofting instruments of exploration. Swords into Plowshares — that’s change we can believe in. After the jump, a nice video of the launch, courtesy of NASA Television: Read more on Moon Rockets, Space Brains, And Vampire Squid, All In This Week’s Sci-Blog!…
  creature features

Kickass Telescopes, Newly Discovered Mammals, And Welcoming Our New Insect Overlords, All In This Week’s Sci-Blog

Welcome Wonkeratti, to another appalling Wonkette Sci-Blog! You will need Drinks. You will not need Pants. We live in weird times and it’s awfully easy to become disoriented — especially if you’re obsessed with keeping up with the news. Perhaps, as you’re holding a little flat screen in your hand that pulls the news out of thin air you click on an article with an actual photo of an extrasolar planet light years away and you suddenly realize “Woah — I’m living in The Future!” Then you see that the State Police are photographing the license plates of everyone on the road “just because,” government contractors are hoovering up all of your phone and emails and the NSA is building a massive data storage center in the desert because Ft. Meade’s run out of room to store all of your dick jokes. “The Future” is suddenly “1984.” If all that’s not weird enough, you go home, flip on the news and find that what you thought was an obscure pastel-colored Internet Meme has transmogrified into a social movement and is coming to a convention center near you. Suddenly “The Future” of “1984” is “The Twilight Zone” and you need to shut off the TV before the political news comes on. All things considered, deciding to build a philosophy and lifestyle around a little girl’s cartoon about magical ponies is probably a rational reaction to a manifestly irrational world. If traveling to a new city with an extra pair of pony ears and walking around in a blisteringly pink wig works for you, then that’s great. Someone who’s a genuine writer and a scholar of society could expound on this phenomenon much better than I. The folks at Bronycon ’13 are clearly happy and seem to be far more well adjusted than the average CPAC conventiongoer. At least at Bronycon, the Furries are out in the open. Read more on Kickass Telescopes, Newly Discovered Mammals, And Welcoming Our New Insect Overlords, All In This Week’s Sci-Blog…
  the final derptier

House GOP Will Explain To NASA All About This Space And Science Stuff

Hello, have you met the Republican wingnuts on the House Science Committee? They include: Paul Broun, who has told supporters that evolution and the big bang theory “are lies straight from the pit of hell,”  and Dana Rorhabacher, who once suggested that temperature fluctuations on earth millions of years ago can be traced to dinosaur flatulence. There is also good old Todd Akin, who has stated that “legitimate” rape cannot result in pregnancy because women’s bodies have a way to “shut that whole thing down.” So it is not really a big surprise that these learned men reviewed NASA’s carefully prepared plans, shot them to shit, and gave them new marching orders to complete on a reduced budget: Read more on House GOP Will Explain To NASA All About This Space And Science Stuff…
  Revenge of the Nerds!

Nice Time! Florida Teen Who Constructed Hydrogen Bomb In School Sentenced To Space Camp

Okay kids, put on your thinking chaps, it’s time for a science quiz! Q: What happens when you combine aluminum foil and hydrochloride-based toilet bowl cleaner in a sealed container? A: You don’t have to go to school anymore, AND YOU GET TO GO TO SPACE CAMP! (Also a small amount of hydrogen gas is released. Oh, the humanity!) This is known as Wilmot’s Law, so named because it’s what happened to that girl in Florida, Kiera Wilmot, who got Zero Toleranced and led away from Bartow High School in frickin handcuffs fer chrissakes because she showed initiative and has functioning brain tissue, which is Not Okay In Schools Anymore, because… terrorism? We guess terrorism. Read more on Nice Time! Florida Teen Who Constructed Hydrogen Bomb In School Sentenced To Space Camp…