Tag Archives: nancy reagan

  Here have some news n stuff

GOP Governor Rauner Will Let Illinois Grow Ganja, For Your Health

Illinois now, basically
Republican gazillionaire and super-expensive wine enthusiast Bruce Rauner has a long history of being a total jerk-faced jerk, even though he has only been governor of Illinois for about five and half seconds. But high five for this one, gov: Read more on GOP Governor Rauner Will Let Illinois Grow Ganja, For Your Health…
  wonkette thanksgiving classics

Making Thanksgiving ‘Monkey Bread’ With Nancy Reagan

Enjoy this Wonkette Holiday Classic recipe all over again, as though The Gipper was still wandering around somewhere. Whatever the hell “monkey bread” might be — something racist, we assume — it was the thing our favorite first lady Nancy Reagan was known to “cook,” at Thanksgiving or whatever. For America, and for Ronnie! Delight the people at the Holiday Table with this splendid treat. Read more on Making Thanksgiving ‘Monkey Bread’ With Nancy Reagan…
  everybody must get stoned

Reagan Drug Czar Says Weed Won’t Make You Gay Anymore But Will Still Kill You

Florida: This could be us but you playin'.
On Tuesday, Floridians have an important decision to make at the polls. No, not whether they prefer Medicare fraudster Rick “Bat Boy” Scott or walking bottle of bronzer Charlie Crist as their next governor. We’re thinking of a much more important issue: Should Florida legalize medical marijuana? Read more on Reagan Drug Czar Says Weed Won’t Make You Gay Anymore But Will Still Kill You…
  Your Morning Maddow

Rachel Maddow Reminds Us Of That Time Nancy Reagan’s Astrologer Ran The White House (Video)

We don't even WANT context for this
Monday’s Rachel Maddow Show started off with one of those meandering historical backgrounders, and as sometimes happens, that intro is in some ways even more interesting than the main story. It’s all about another tell-all by a former cabinet member, Donald Regan’s 1988 book in which the bitter former Reagan chief of staff revealed that just about every major decision in the Reagan White House was affected by Nancy Reagan’s consultations with an astrologer. It’s a glorious trip down WTF lane that leaves you astonished at just how much the Cult of Reagan was willing to overlook. These weren’t just sketchy rumors from some third-rate tabloid about the president maybe being a Muslim (because he pronounces “Pakistan” with un-American syllables), but actual reliance on occult hoodoo nonsense that teevee evangelists regularly decry as flirting with demons and witchcraft. But Reagan was Reagan, so sure, Nancy’s astrologer got to decide the daily schedule for the Leader of the Free World. Read more on Rachel Maddow Reminds Us Of That Time Nancy Reagan’s Astrologer Ran The White House (Video)…
  Doob The Right Thing

Colorado PSA: Don’t Eat All The Pot Candy Like That Idiot MoDo

The bad trip scene in that movie was kind of epic
Thank god, a Maureen Dowd column has finally resulted in something good for the world. After she chowed down on a pot candy bar and got super-hiiiiiiigh — very unpleasantly so — the legal marijuana industry in Colorado has referenced her “bad trip” column as part of an advertising campaign promoting Safe ‘n’ Responsible doobage. Read more on Colorado PSA: Don’t Eat All The Pot Candy Like That Idiot MoDo…
  just say dear god no

Michelle Obama Terrifies Nation With Hippity-Hop Love Songs To Vegetables

We’ve known for years that FLOTUS and POTUS are wrecking everything good and true about America because of being blah, but we never thought that they could sink this low. We’ve had to endure the ignominy of Aretha Franklin and her enormous hat getting soul all over My Country Tis of Thee. We’ve had to see the precious precious Medal of Freedom go to Oprah, when everyone knows it should have gone to zombie Johnny Carson or that nice dead gay Merv Griffin. These things have all brought us to our knees, Lord, but nothing prepared us for Michelle Obama making a rap record. Read more on Michelle Obama Terrifies Nation With Hippity-Hop Love Songs To Vegetables…
  wonkette thanksgiving classics

Making Thanksgiving ‘Monkey Bread’ With Nancy Reagan

Enjoy this Wonkette Holiday Classic recipe all over again, as though The Gipper was still wandering around somewhere: Whatever the hell “monkey bread” might be — something racist, we assume — it was the thing our favorite first lady Nancy Reagan was known to “cook,” at Thanksgiving or whatever. For America, and for Ronnie! Delight the people at the Holiday Table with this splendid treat. Read more on Making Thanksgiving ‘Monkey Bread’ With Nancy Reagan…
  that's why the lady is a tramp

Wingnuts Outraged by Casting of Elegant Actress Jane Fonda as ‘Blow*** Queen’ Nancy Reagan

Blowjob. The word is “blowjob.” And scores of Old Hollywood has apparently had their tumescent, swollen cocks in her mouth, and apparently she was GREAT at it, which is the first good thing about Nancy Reagan we have ever heard. Read more on Wingnuts Outraged by Casting of Elegant Actress Jane Fonda as ‘Blow*** Queen’ Nancy Reagan…
  hey he left his cell phone charger here!

You Too Can Have Sex Where Ronald Reagan Did

Ronald and Nancy Reagan spent part of their 1952 honeymoon at the Mission Inn in Riverside, Calif. To mark the occasion, the resort is now offering “The Reagan Honeymoon Package.” Among other amenities, the $1,199 getaway includes “Deluxe Accommodations for Two in the Alhambra Suite” where the Reagans stayed the first night of their marriage. Read more on You Too Can Have Sex Where Ronald Reagan Did…
  famous first-lady recipes

Nancy Reagan’s Thanksgiving Offering: Monkey Bread!

Whatever the hell “monkey bread” might be — something racist, we assume — it was the thing pill-popping anorexic Nancy Reagan was known to “cook,” at Thanksgiving or whatever. For America, and for Ronnie! Delight the people at the Holiday Table with this splendid treat. Read more on Nancy Reagan’s Thanksgiving Offering: Monkey Bread!…
  our first lady is very tall

In Honor Of 80s Style Icon Nancy Reagan, Michelle Obama Wears Laura Ashley’s Couch

Huzzah our prayers have been answered! Courtesy of the White House comes this darling portrait of Mrs. Obama and whatsername, “Just Say No,” shortly before sitting down to a dignified First Ladies’ seance. [Official White House Photostream] Read more on In Honor Of 80s Style Icon Nancy Reagan, Michelle Obama Wears Laura Ashley’s Couch…
  ghostbusters

Nancy Reagan To Visit White House!

Couch-bound American sweatpants-wearers love to smell their own farts and follow the fashion adventures of their First Lady, which is why they love Nancy Reagan and Michelle Obama equally. Laura Bush? Whatever, she just walked around in stiff light-blue suits all the time so PASS. Anyway, First Lady lovers (like Mr. T, left) will be sure to follow today and tomorrow’s activities at the White House very closely. Read more on Nancy Reagan To Visit White House!…
  everybody be careful!

Oh Noes, Nancy Reagan Fell Down!

Our nation’s beloved second wife of Ronald Reagan has fallen and hurt herself! This happened, er, last week. But it’s big news! The 87-year-old widow of America’s founding father has fractured her pelvis, and will stay in the hospital a few days, in Los Angeles, and then go home with a “reduced schedule” until she’s all healed up again in six weeks. She also fell down in February. Get well soon, Nancy! [Reuters] Read more on Oh Noes, Nancy Reagan Fell Down!…
 

Ronald Reagan Lady To Endorse John McCain

Although John McCain continues to battle himself for the Republican nomination, the news today should help a little bit. Nancy Reagan, the somehow-still-alive widow of famous ghost Ronald Reagan, will endorse him tonight at her fat cat home in California. As you may have heard, John McCain was a foot soldier in the Reagan Revolution, the legacy of which includes a soaring federal budget, entrenched partisanship, and Mitt Romney. And this is why some president’s wife will be endorsing John McCain tonight, in Outer Space. [Jonathan Martin] Read more on Ronald Reagan Lady To Endorse John McCain…
 

Nancy Reagan Falls Over, But She’ll Be Okay

Our nation’s greatest First Lady, 86-year-old Nancy Reagan, is recovering in a Los Angeles hospital after falling down in her Bel-Air mansion. We last saw Nancy at the Reagan Library’s GOP candidate debate on January 30, where she sat with California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger and actually looked younger than he did. Get well soon, Nancy! [LA Times] Read more on Nancy Reagan Falls Over, But She’ll Be Okay…
 

Ronald Reagan Would Fire You All

From last night’s debate, this is the sound of a Republican campaign dying: “Ronald Reagan would say, yeah, let’s drill in Anwar.” Ronald Reagan Ronald Reagan Ronald Reagan Ronald Ronald Reagangangan. Ronald Reagan. Nancy Reagan supports John McCain. [YouTube] Read more on Ronald Reagan Would Fire You All…
 

Good-bye To Our ‘Queen of Hearts’ & America’s First Lady, Jane Wyman

Today, flags are at half mast — including Ronnie’s, in this undated publicity photo — and America is mourning as we say a fond farewell to America’s First Lady, actress Jane Wyman. Ms. Wyman was one of the wives of our greatest president, Ronald Reagan, before he replaced her with Nancy “Reagan” Davis. Read more on Good-bye To Our ‘Queen of Hearts’ & America’s First Lady, Jane Wyman…
 

Gossip Roundup: Party All the Time

* Heard on the Hill: Oregon Rep. Peter DeFazio (D) said “fuck” on the radio last month… Stephanie Tubbs Jones held a “manicures and muffins” party for donors. [Roll Call] * Reliable Source: A retired White House pastry chef wrote a memoir! Did you know: the Secret Service used to delease hundreds of trout into the river at Camp David just to keep Jimmy Carter from killing himself. Nancy Reagan was an incredible bitch. [WP] * Yeas and Nays: Justin Timberlake: too boring to party in DC… Politicians be throwing football parties. [Examiner] * Washington Whispers: Colbert guests get better schwag than O’Reilley guests… Scooter Libby’s and Karl Rove’s publicists just merged to form a one-stop PR house for incompetent criminals… Hillary Clinton is funny. [USN&WR] * Shenanigans: Michael Steele drives around in a Lexus with a “Steele for Senate” sticker. [Politico] Read more on Gossip Roundup: Party All the Time…
 

Gossip Roundup: Gay For Pay

Heard on the Hill: Patrick Kennedy’s court-ordered treatment includes mandatory weekly urine tests and AA meetings. He’s also considering writing a book about addiction with his sponsor, Representative Jim Ramstad. [Roll Call] Read more on Gossip Roundup: Gay For Pay…
 

Beltway Horoscope Watch: That Which Does Not Kill Bush Only Makes Him Stronger

President Bush’s popularity rating is taking a beating these days, in large part due to the continuing bad news from Iraq. Talk of impeachment and censure is starting to build. But the stars bring Bush some good news. Born on July 6, 1946, Bush is a Cancer. So, taking a page from the Nancy Reagan playbook, we checked out his daily horoscope (from the hard copy Washington Post; the online version is different, but we view the hard copy horoscope as more reliable): Read more on Beltway Horoscope Watch: That Which Does Not Kill Bush Only Makes Him Stronger…
 

Gossip Roundup: Alito, ‘The Most Beautiful Sound’

• Reliable Source: Laura, Barbara, and Margaret Bush as well as Nancy Reagan and Annette de le Renta all had their hair done at Nuri Yurt. . . Stephen Colbert spotted at a Cosi. . . Michael Brown is selling his house. [WP] • Under the Dome: Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho) wrote and performed a song about Samuel Alito with Paul Shaffer: “The most beautiful sound I Read more on Gossip Roundup: Alito, ‘The Most Beautiful Sound’…