Tag Archives: naacp

  why don't we get drunk and ... nope

Here Is John Boehner, Too Drunk To F*ck (Video)

Award-winning journalist (lol) Chuck C. Johnson has been promising us many SCOOPS this week! While we are still waiting on pins and needles and tenterhooks and fishbaits to find out which conservative politician’s CAREER Chuck is going to END with booby-grabbing revelations (IS IT BOB PACKWOOD????), we do have this sideways cell phone camera video of a man Chuck says is John Boehner, though there is no way to really know, come to think of it, slurring THE FUCK outta some names of some colleges. Read more on Here Is John Boehner, Too Drunk To F*ck (Video)…
  We Watch So You Don't Have To

The Fartknocker Report: Help, Help, Sarah Palin Is Being Repressed!

The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report, Presented By Fartknocker
In one of her three new videos this week — seven minutes and 34 seconds of total run time, for those keeping score at home — Sarah Palin decided to squawk about Lois Lerner, because apparently that horse is not yet dead and requires further beating. Her screed goes deep, deep into the realm of alternate history, and the whole thing is worth a look. Let’s Wonksplore! Read more on The Fartknocker Report: Help, Help, Sarah Palin Is Being Repressed!…
  Praise The Lord And Pass No Legislation

Virginia Guy Knows Who Ended Slavery, And It Was Definitely Not ‘The Government’

See, the glowy stuff there at the top is God
A Leesburg, Virginia, town councilman has a novel theory of how American slavery came to an end: God did it, not big government. We’re inclined to think perhaps He had a little help from Ulysses S. Grant and William Tecumseh Sherman, plus a couple million other fellows in blue uniforms, as well as a bearded gent who favored stovepipe hats, but sure, let’s hear out this Thomas S. Dunn II and see what he’s got to contribute to the conversation. Read more on Virginia Guy Knows Who Ended Slavery, And It Was Definitely Not ‘The Government’…
  Butt I can't even see race!

Tennessee Lawmaker Lady Named Butt Not Racist, Just Loves White People

Gather round, little children, your Tennessee Wonkette has a nice story for you! It is about one of our august state representatives, a gentlelady by the name of Sheila Butt, who once said there would be no global warming if we used more hairspray, but this is not about that. This is about the fact that Sheila is Not Racist. Everybody is being mean to her and saying she is racist, though, because she went on the Facebook recently to comment on a nice note from the Council on American-Islamic Relations encouraging Republicans to stop hating Muslims so much. Butt said what we REALLY NEED is a “Council on Christian Relations” and a “NAAWP,” which some dumb liberal media types are dumbly and liberally assuming might stand for National Association For The Advancement Of White People, but they are wrong. Read more on Tennessee Lawmaker Lady Named Butt Not Racist, Just Loves White People…
  Joe Arpaio Better Watch His Back

Wingnut Sheriff To Single Black Moms: Stop Making Cops Shoot Kids!

Meet your 2020 Republican primary contender, America
David Clarke is the sheriff of Milwaukee County in Wisconsin, and he has been a hero to Wingnut America ever since he ran radio ads a couple years back encouraging people to arm themselves instead of calling 911. On Tuesday, he played to his real constituency, the Fox News audience, when host Brian Kilmeade asked Clarke to comment on yet another shooting of a black suspect by a police officer, and instead launched into a rant against the NAACP and single black mothers. Read more on Wingnut Sheriff To Single Black Moms: Stop Making Cops Shoot Kids!…
  Wouldn't A Strongly Worded Letter Have Been Enough?

All Muslims Everywhere Murder French Satirists; Lone Wolf Acting Alone ‘Bombs’ NAACP, Alone

the very definition of 'milling around'
We’ve got all sorts of international and domestic terrorism for you this morning; please make use of kitten photos as needed. In Paris Tuesday, 12 people were shot to death at a satirical newspaper that had frequently run cartoons making fun of Islam: Read more on All Muslims Everywhere Murder French Satirists; Lone Wolf Acting Alone ‘Bombs’ NAACP, Alone…
  ku klutz klan

KKK Guy Still Likes KKK, Except For All That White Supremacist Stuff

Well, this is weird. Seems there is a Klansman up in Montana — coincidentally the new stomping ground of the Editrix, her boy toy and their love fetus — who wants to rebrand the KKK as a nice fraternal organization without all that white supremacism. Because if any one thing has truly kept the KKK from being a leading civic organization, it’s all that opposition to white folks mixing with the mongrel hordes. Read more on KKK Guy Still Likes KKK, Except For All That White Supremacist Stuff…
  'Invisible Man' Wasn't An Instruction Book

We Are Sure Georgia Has A Very Good Reason For Not Letting All Those Black People Vote

Or maybe you just don't exist. Can you prove it?
Nothing like a little week-before-the-election chaos. In Georgia, where activists say that some 40,000 newly registered voters’ names do not yet appear on the state’s database, a judge denied a petition Tuesday requesting that the secretary of state take immediate action to process those missing voters. Judge Christopher Brasher of the Fulton County Superior Court ruled against a claim by the Lawyers’ Committee for Civil Rights, which said that tens of thousands of properly submitted registrations had not been processed. Brasher’s reasoning appears to be that there simply aren’t any missing voters, because Georgia’s attorney general says that the state and counties have processed all the applications they received. Why should the state go out of its way for applications that it’s quite certain don’t exist anyway? Those tens of thousands of Georgians who say they submitted their paperwork but haven’t received registration cards are probably just attention-seekers, we bet. Here are some, seeking attention right now: Read more on We Are Sure Georgia Has A Very Good Reason For Not Letting All Those Black People Vote…
  Here have some news n stuff

Rand Paul Bravely Talks To Black People

So brave, so bold
Guess this counts as one of the exciting new Ideas! from the Republican Party. Black people: They’re people too! After meeting with NAACP leaders in Ferguson, Missouri, Sen. Rand Paul told CNN’s Wolf Blitzer that the Republicans Party’s biggest mistake in recent decades has been not reaching out to African-American voters. Read more on Rand Paul Bravely Talks To Black People…
  It's Definitely Not About Race

Georgia Republican Will Save Democracy From Black People

Frank Millar's nightmare
Republican Georgia state Sen. Fran Millar knows what elections are about. Elections are about winning. They are NOT, however, about letting just anybody vote, especially if they comprise the majority in a particular part of Atlanta, if you get his drift. Actually you don’t need to get his drift, because he just says it openly: Millar has vowed to end early voting at a DeKalb County polling place that simply has too many blacks in the neighborhood. Read more on Georgia Republican Will Save Democracy From Black People…
  Broken Wingnuts Theory

Louisiana Cop Resigns After Wishing He Could Go Baton Rogue On Some Blacks

Our apologies to LEGO, Inc.
Michael Elsbury, a 15-year-veteran with the Baton Rouge, Louisiana, Police Department, resigned Thursday after a local teevee station detailed racist texts that Officer Elsbury had sent. No doubt this is just one more example of how Political Correctness has destroyed Free Speach in Barack Obama’s America. Read more on Louisiana Cop Resigns After Wishing He Could Go Baton Rogue On Some Blacks…
  fox news unamerican committee strikes again

Allen West, Fox & Friends Expose Muslim Plot To Jihad America With Votes

You guys, there is some serious UN-AMERICAN activity happening, and we bet you don’t know about it! According to Allen West on Fox & Friends, there is a secret Muslim plot in America to… wait for it… become politically organized in order to push for policies that are more friendly towards Muslims. Now is the appropriate time to FREAK THE FUCK OUT. Seriously, freak out, dammit. What’s wrong with you? Why aren’t you freaking out! Did you not click on that video? Did you not see the graphic of “Islamic Extremism on the Rise,” with totally not-racist pictures of men in turbans wielding rocket-launchers? This threat will ruin American civilization and likely cause the death of all kittens, because it is THAT BAD. If your hands aren’t shaking too much, let’s scaresplore this threat to life, liberty, and religious freedom the American way.  Read more on Allen West, Fox & Friends Expose Muslim Plot To Jihad America With Votes…
  hush a bye bye

North Carolina Fails In Bid To Protect Capitol From NAACP, Same-Sex Goat Weddings

The administration of North Carolina Governor Pat McCrory wants to make it absolutely clear that it had no intention at all of blocking the NAACP from protesting the state’s far-right legislature at the Capitol building, not at all. It just denied the group a permit because it was worried that a gathering of over 100 people would be impossible to manage, and also, uh, maybe, because those people might have gotten up to all kinds of shenanigans. Or maybe even hoopla. So that’s why it had to deny the permit. The NAACP managed to get permission for the rally after taking the case to court Monday; Superior Court Judge Allen Baddour ruled that the state had to issue the permit, so yay. NAACP attorney Scott Holmes pointed out that the claim about the size of the group was less than convincing, considering that hundreds of people attended a Christmas tree lighting ceremony led by Gov. McCrory at the same location earlier this month. But that’s a silly comparison, because Christmas tree lightings aren’t full of people demanding that the state legislature stop being a bunch of rightwing assholes. Read more on North Carolina Fails In Bid To Protect Capitol From NAACP, Same-Sex Goat Weddings…
  hyperbole and a halfwit

Allen West Wishes Barack Obama Would Try Being More Black For A Change

Professional conservative victim Allen West took to Fox News yesterday to condemn the incredible insensitivity and unspeakable atrocity of a “despicable, demeaning, and disgusting” email by Florida congressman Alan Grayson that compared the Tea Party to the KKK. West, whose job is to condemn all liberals for mentioning racism until it’s time for him to proclaim himself the victim of a racist attack, recalled how terrified he was as a young black man growing up in the South, and wondered why civil rights leaders hadn’t condemned Grayson for his dumb hyperbole, because an exaggerated comparison of the Tea Party to the KKK is apparently exactly the same as the actual KKK burning a cross or bombing a church. Read more on Allen West Wishes Barack Obama Would Try Being More Black For A Change…
  cash rules everything around mitt

Mitt Romney vs. Most Black People

Not valid as legal tender for free stuff.
BIG NEWS ALERT FROM JOURNALISM, GUYS! Reports are coming in Fast and Furious that Mitt Romney, over the course of a mere 24 hours, kind of just single-handedly torched to cinders any and all of the minor gains Republicans might have recently made among non-“Heartland” Americans. (Single-handedly torching things to cinders is the Bain way, after all!) The Romney campaign, fresh off a, well, received speech to the annual NAACP convention, is now being accused of sneaking outside blacks in to the event (like you do with Reese’s Pieces and bottom-shelf hooch), in order to fake some kind of groundswell of African-American support. Oh, and then, in one of those quiet rooms he’s so fond of, the candidate himself went shooting off to donors about the impudent and boisterous non-Mitt Romney-approved blacks at the NAACP, who “should vote for the other guy” if they just want free government goodies/health insurance. All the juicy, sexy, newsy details after the jump! Read more on Mitt Romney vs. Most Black People…
  i inhaled

Live-Blogging: Joe Biden Talks To Black People

Joe does not want to inhale your flattery, NAACP — oh who’s he kidding? Of course he does, and he will hand some right back. He sat in, he’s a lifelong member of the NAACP, and he has gotten in PERSONAL TROUBLE with every single person in there, with hijinks! FOX HEADLINE: Joe Biden admits sitting in Rev. Wright’s church, plotting to blow up Chicago with Bernadine Dohrn. Read more on Live-Blogging: Joe Biden Talks To Black People…
  what's in his heart

Live Blogging Mitt Romney Being Totally Comfortable With Black People

It was not very nice of some former MediaMatters dudes (now over at The Message) to make a whole video pointing out that Mitt Romney is white. We have not seen such bald racism since the last time a black person said something ever. And how could they even think such a thing anyway, just because Mitt Romney as Massachusetts governor was constantly axing the state’s office of Affirmative Action, and also wants to take away all black people’s right to vote. So what who cares? Read more on Live Blogging Mitt Romney Being Totally Comfortable With Black People…
  face punchy

Which Black People Does Tucker Carlson Hate Now? Oh, Just The NAACP (Video)

Do you ever get the feeling that maybe bowtied nancy-boy Tucker Carlson doesn’t really like black people? That’s so weird how you would think that. Tucker Carlson should probably get himself an Intelligent Well-Socialized Black to befriend so as to head off suspicions that he is also being a giant racist while he is beating up old queers. Read more on Which Black People Does Tucker Carlson Hate Now? Oh, Just The NAACP (Video)…
  paternamalism

Newt Meant ALL Minorities In Saying Blacks Shouldn’t Want Food Stamps

While “fastest mind in the West” Rick Santorum managed to invent an entirely new race of humans the blahs in the course of a losing battle with the English language as he backtracked on his comments that he doesn’t want to help black people with public assistance, Newt Gingrich took the opposite tack following his similarly repulsive statement, “I’m prepared if the NAACP invites me, I’ll go to their convention and talk about why the African American community should demand paychecks and not be satisfied with food stamps,” and responded to the general outcry with the clarification that oh yeah, he forgot he meant to include Latinos, too. Read more on Newt Meant ALL Minorities In Saying Blacks Shouldn’t Want Food Stamps…