It is raining now because the Gods want the hippies to have mud slides. An on-the-ground informant has this update: “Note the mass of police closing in on the group, which has since disbanded… The building in the background is the headquarters of Winston and Strawn. What they did to deserve a protest is beyond me.”

ANNUAL ‘RUNNING OF THE RATS’ SNARLS GEORGETOWN: Tipster “Lauren” writes “Apparently Georgetown’s M St is fully barricaded, and they aren’t letting anyone out of stores or restaurants. You might want to check it out.” Wonkette operatives are ordered to investigate the spring rat stampede and report back post haste.

The mind-bendingly weird suburban Florida deaths of two GOP consultants and an ex-marine continue getting weirder. The Orange County sheriff announced yesterday that Jason Drake — the ex-marine — killed the consultants before offing himself, though they gave no explanation for his actions and Drake left no helpful note. MORE »

Deadly SMOKE is crippling DC’s heralded subway system. Two nights in a row now have seen mass outages and evacuations across the entire train network, with mysterious smoke pouring into tunnels and seven trains losing power. Metro officials are bewildered and not even pretending to know what’s going on. Is it terrorism? Is it sabotage? All they’ll tell us is that we must all panic. MORE »

We posted a kinda funny video about Giuliani the other day. It turns out that it was scandalous and mysterious! This is another one from the same anonymous dude — not really quite as funny as the first one, maybe, but it gets the job done. The other day someone tried to convince us that these videos were produced by the Swift People — Stevens, Reed, Curcio & Potholm. The connection seemed a little shaky (and we were too hungover to investigate further) so we ignored it. Now SRCP deny everything. The Republicans were convinced it was one of their own, but as sarcastic dude here has now attacked every single GOP candidate below all their respective belts, they’re pretty sure it’s some libtard. Or hell, maybe that’s Jim Gilmore, — who would even know???

“abrad2345″ Controversy Heats Up [Tech Republican]
Earlier: Finally, a Campaign Ad for the Fascist in Us All

Mystery solved! An operative embedded deep within the media establishment reports: MORE »