The news of Sarah Palin’s literary fortunes—both fiscal and fictive—also brought a smaller bit of news about a secret mystery company owned by Palin. “In April, while still governor, she founded what she describes as a “marketing” business, called ‘Pie Spy.’ Palin lists herself as the owner of the limited liability company, which was incorporated in March by her spokeswoman, Meghan Stapleton, who listed Palin’s lawyer, Thomas Van Flien, as its agent.” Extensive journalism Googling by Ben Smith also reveals that the dessert-based marketing company has something to do with helping disabled people, possibly old disabled people, by spying on them. Um, and corollary sub-revelation: of course Meg Stapleton is essentially also her de facto lawyer. [Ben Smith]

Alert UK journalist “Richard” sent us this Reuters pic, wondering what kind of movie Willie Mays and Robert Gibbs and the sleazy White House press pool enjoyed last night on the flight over to the MLB All-Star game. What do you people think? MORE »

Uhh, question of immense literary and historical importance: What does Sarah Palin’s departure from politics mean for Sarah Palin’s nascent book about being involved in politics? Probably nothing! Recall back to May: HarperCollins proudly announced that it would be publishing Palin’s book about bein’ a soccer mom and bein’ a hockey governor and bein’ a mom to a transgendered pitbull, and whatever else, doesn’t even matter, because they paid her ~one billion dollars for the privilege of distributing her words to the American public. So will HarperCollins publish Sarah Palin’s book about being governor that afternoon she was governor on a dare, or will they force her to write about … whatever it is she plans to do that she thinks will affect political change more than being paid to affect political change (cuckolding Todd with Argentinian Todd,T erencio, on a sandmobile??)? MORE »

What in holy Hell has Mark Sanford been up to? He did NOT go nude tree-humping with a bunch of federally funded nature queers on the Appalachian Trail this weekend; instead, he went to Buenos Aires. Anybody who has left the house thinking they’d like to go on a local nature hike and ended up spending the weekend in an exotic South American capital can agree that this is a perfectly normal switcheroo! MORE »

Hey DC-area commuters, help us out! We hear that two of them roadside “Expect delays now until forever due to construction”-type electronical signs were HACKED by HAXXORS, and displayed vulgar words to drivers this morning. (The signs are on the Virginia side of the Key Bridge and on eastbound Hain Bridge Road at the George Washington Memorial Parkway.) Here is the question: What were the naughty words? Because your local Fox News refused to show anything other than the mysterious word “MUDKIPZ!”. [MyFoxDC]

Reader “Emily” sends us this mysterious photo from Chicago, which appears to be a Paultard car, only without the R at the beginning of Dr. Paul’s famous slogan. “I still really couldn’t believe this was a thing,” she writes. So, question: IS THIS A THING?

• Obama ‘N Friends have themselves a fleet of hybrid Fords. Even David Plouffe, the greatest threat facing American inboxes, gets something called a Fusion Hybrid. [AMERICAblog]
• In exchange for paying off Mark Penn’s formidable annual adult website membership dues, Hillary Clinton will allow you to rent any of the following: Bill Clinton, Paul Begala, James Carville. [Gawker]
• American President Rush Limbaugh told Internet President Matt Drudge to “disappear”—for reasons of self-preservation, presumably, but the self-preservation of whom? Verily, a mystery! [Daily Intel]
• Actual Esquire centerfold Cass Sunstein can now add another bullet-point to his resume: head of the Office of Information and Regulatory Affairs. [Ezra Klein]
• John McCain, the famed McCain Senatorette, is demanding the White House personally apologize to him for communistically exploring the psychological state of soldiers returning from Afghanistan. [CNN Political Ticker]

THIS IS WHY DOWNTOWN SMELLS LIKE ASS: Here is a true fact about the source of DC’s insidious fecal odor, gleaned from the Universal Source of All True Things, Wikipedia, by Wonkette Informant Tyler: “I spent most of yesterday afternoon wondering why the entirety of Buffalo Billiards (and the rest of Dupont, really) smelled like dog shit more than usual. Turns out that the female gingko trees drop pods/seeds that smell like shit when they split open.” Ginkgo trees are a metaphor for the sacred loins of Barbara Bush Sr. [Wikipedia]

Every white male in politics over the age of 50 has some awful illness, according to various rumors on the Internet. Joe Biden had two aneurysms operated on 20 years ago, so obviously he is due for another so that he can step down and Hillary Clinton can be Barack Obama’s vice president. Meanwhile, Bill Clinton’s thumb was shaking on various evening talk shows this week, so he’s about dead. Probably Parkinson’s. MORE »

TONY SNOW SURVIVES MYSTERY ILLNESS: Nobody’s saying why ex-White House spokesman and current CNN commentator Tony Snow spent days in a Spokane hospital. But he’s out now, and supposedly doing better, although he still has cancer, but it’s in remission. Good luck, Tony! [KHQ Spokane]

HOPE.NET UN-HACKED: A concerned reader writes, “when I checked this morning, Hope.net now links to BarackObama.com. That seems to prove that the site was truly hacked after all, even though many of the commentators seem to want to believe it was fake.” Ha ha so suck on that, COMMENTATORS. [Wonkette]

It is raining now because the Gods want the hippies to have mud slides. An on-the-ground informant has this update: “Note the mass of police closing in on the group, which has since disbanded… The building in the background is the headquarters of Winston and Strawn. What they did to deserve a protest is beyond me.”

ANNUAL ‘RUNNING OF THE RATS’ SNARLS GEORGETOWN: Tipster “Lauren” writes “Apparently Georgetown’s M St is fully barricaded, and they aren’t letting anyone out of stores or restaurants. You might want to check it out.” Wonkette operatives are ordered to investigate the spring rat stampede and report back post haste.