Wonkette

John McCain has no idea what kinds of hell he’s unleashed: “WASILLA, Alaska (AP) — Bristol Palin’s boyfriend plans to join the family of the Republican vice presidential candidate at the GOP convention. Levi Johnston’s mother said her 18-year-old son left Alaska on Tuesday morning to join the Palin family in St. Paul, Minn.” Levi Johnston must be loving this. He is, after all, the guy who wrote “Ya fuck with me I’ll kick [your] ass” on his MySpace page. He’s just gonna be cold fuckin’ bitches and pounding fuckin’ beers on the stage with John fuckin’ McCain, fuckin’ beatin’ up delegates and shit. [AP]

Corrupt Alaskan Sen. Ted Stevens, the old hack whose limited understanding of the Internet as a “series of tubes” launched a soul-crushing meme, has redesigned his Internet web site! And he’s sent out a release about the changes that we found funny, but probably only because, you know, he’s Ted Stevens and he’s writing about the Internet again. For example: “Online communities - We now have a presence on YouTube, Flickr (photo sharing site), and MySpace in addition to the Facebook page we have had. You can become a friend or subscriber to these pages and this will allow you to stay in touch with the campaign in a whole new way. Links to all of these sites are located on the front page of the website.” OK, you tell us Flickr is for photo sharing, but what in the hell are YouTube, MySpace and the Facebook?? [Ted Stevens]

By the Comics Curmudgeon
Americans, we know you’re bitter! But if you read this site you’re probably a member of the chauffeured liberal elite, so I’m guessing you’re not really clinging to religion or guns. No, you’re doing those hillbillies one better: you’re actually clinging desperately to your own bitterness! More good reasons to seethe, after the jump. MORE »

ASHLEY-KRISTEN ON TOP! The exciting music of Ashley “Kristen” Alexandra Dupre now holds both the No. 1 and the No. 2 chart positions at this digital download site! Truly this is just like that movie with Richard Gere and Julia Roberts, but if the Richard Gere character lost his job and his dignity and then got indicted on federal white-slavery charges. [Amie Street/OC Register]

The New York Times has a profile up of “Kristen.” Her name is actually Ashley Alexandra Dupré, and her story is imaginably depressing. But then if you go to her MySpace page, it plays a pretty blah hip-hop song (”amateurish, hip-hop inflected rhythm and blues tune that asks, ‘Can you handle me, boy?’ and uses some dated slang, calling someone her ‘boo,’” says the mean New York Times). That’s when we lost sympathy, and also why she’ll probably get a record deal within hours. [NYT]

It’s easy to look at Bush’s approval ratings and say, “Well it’s pretty clear that only the retarded would support him at this point.” But it’s even easier when you’ve got a new batch of George W. Bush fan letters to use as evidence. And it’s super easy when the letters come with creepy MySpace profile pictures of the guys in their underwear. MORE »

Vaguely patriotic hats, the Internets, men white coats? That’s how Washington does book parties. Our video producer, the indomitable Liz Glover, reports from Browntsein’s book party last night at The Watergate. The martinis were good.

When you suck as badly as George W. Bush, not even the GOP candidates will mention your name — unless it’s an insult. And yet, poll after poll finds that 30% of Americans who can manage to pick up a ringing telephone say they approve of this miserable presidency. Who are these people? They’re the people who write angry messages to the Worst President Ever website, that’s who. MORE »