Only one in ten voters thinks Barack Obama is a Muslim, according to a new poll that is kind of encouraging. We figured the number would be closer to 70%, because this is a nation of imbeciles. As we’re pretty sure the “Barry Hussein’s a Muslim” demographic is unlikely to vote for a black man anyway, the Obama campaign can probably write this news off as an Improbable Victory and get back to shaming Hillary out of the race by saying it’s okay if she stays in the race. MORE »

An emotionally fragile Attorney General Michael Mukasey addressed audiences at the Commonwealth Club in San Francisco yesterday and nearly wept at the thought of the American government having its precious spying freedoms taken away. He also observed that Muslims, and not followers of a strict Protestant religious sect, deserve the government’s hairy eyeball. MORE »

The Clark County, Utah Republican Party held its convention Saturday, and the Mormons are so secretive that it’s taking this important news several days to make its way around the Internet. “Standing in” for John McCain was Mark Shurtleff, the attorney general of Utah. Even that title sounds horribly racist and sexist and Mormon. So what horribly racist and sexist and Mormon things did he say? MORE »

Hillary Clinton is on top of the world for today’s primaries! What is wrong with her? Who knows, but at least she isn’t a Muslim, or a terrorist! Although she is actually both of those things. But Obama is a worse terrorist, and that is why he is losing the entire nomination right now, in the video after the jump. MORE »

St. Barack Obama is sick of you redneck losers saying he’s a Secret Muslim because you got an email from your unemployed brother-in-law in Idaho — you know, the same Coors-sodden loser who forwards you the stuff about how Bill Clinton did 9/11 and NASA faked the moon landing because they are all FREEMASONS. Really, Obama has had it with you white trash and your halfwit notions. MORE »

The Tennessee Republican Party issued this press release today, in the wake of Barack Obama’s hesitance to denounce, or reject, anti-Semite Louis Farrakhan’s support in last night’s debate. Obama’s Muslim heritage poses so great a threat that the press release felt it was proper to use his full name: “The Tennessee Republican Party today joins a growing chorus of Americans concerned about the future of the nation of Israel, the only stable democracy in the Middle East, if Sen. Barack Hussein Obama is elected president of the United States.” [Update below!] And guess which photo they used to illustrate this point? MORE »

Thanks to our friends at FoxNews.com, we now know what these Fanatics in Pakistan think about Valentine’s Day, which is Pakistan’s main holiday. So when you crowd into a mediocre restaurant tonight with your primary current sex partner and a hundred other unhappy couples and you all pay $175 for a crappy “Romantic Tasting Menu” and some dried-out cake called “Chocolate Romance Truffle Passion Sponge,” remember that you are fighting the Islamo-Fascists in your own little sad consumer way. [Fox News]

According to deep background sources (our commenter “Serolf Divad”), the printing-press laborer who wrote that terrific op-ed about Obama being a Muslim Fundamentalist who will piss on the graves of Ground Zero might really be NYT star Bill Kristol. Think about it.

The Ottawa Herald (of Franklin County, Kansas, not Canada) became a national sensation this morning when it taught us that Barack Obama is actually a dangerous Muslim extremist who will destroy our precious values with his “change” and “hope.” But now the paper seems to be meekly backtracking from the crazy-ass ignorant rant written by the paper’s own printing-press operator! MORE »

At the Ottawa Herald of Franklin County, Kansas, even the guys who work the newspaper printing press can write a column for the “op ed” section. And proving once again that small-town papers are like blogs without the quality control, pressman Gary Sillett contributed a terrific “community viewpoint” about the upcoming presidential election.

“To elect Barack Obama to the highest office in the land would be nothing less than spitting on the graves of the victims of 9/11,” Sillett wrote last week. You know you want to read the rest. MORE »

Al Gore’s endorsement may or may not ever happen. The Iraq War may go on forever. The economy is broken. However, Roseanne Barr wrote something about Barack Obama today:

How will Obama handle his Jewish problem? He has to pander to the pro Zionist Jews of America and at the same time talk about dismantling support for Israel in order to appeal to his “progressive” followers. How he handles this one is very telling about his “judgment”. He just refused to condemn Israel for ghettoizing the Palestinians. Who is he really?

Yes, Roseanne Arnold. We know that he’s a Muslim. We’re not stupid. [HuffPo]