Tag Archives: muslims

  He'll be here all week and try the veal

Dumb Obama Needs Mike Huckabee To Explain Racism To Him Again

Obama needs to watch more Fox News, obviously
Last week, President Obama committed the impeachable high crime of saying some historically accurate things at the National Prayer Breakfast about how Christians have also done some terrorism and violence and bad things in the name of spreading their faith, and they have not been perfect all the time since the first year of anno domini. Read more on Dumb Obama Needs Mike Huckabee To Explain Racism To Him Again…
  no heart huckabee

Mike Huckabee: Doing The Gay Is Just Like Swearing, Having a Beer

Huckabee preparing to hold a shotgun to the head of a black American.
Dear practitioners of homogay buttsechs, Mike Huckabee — former Arkansas governor, Baptist minister, once and future failed presidential candidate, once and future Fox News host, Ted Nugent’s buddy (which does not at all make him a big ol’ hypocrite, no you shut up), America’s Great Moral Scold — would like you to know that he would just love to be your friend, because he doesn’t discriminate against friends based on their Lifestyle Choice, even if those Lifestyle Choices will condemn them to an eternity of roasting in perdition’s flames. Gosh, some of his friends use naughty words and drink the devil’s liquid, and Mike Huckabee is still their friend, because he is a Nice Guy. Read more on Mike Huckabee: Doing The Gay Is Just Like Swearing, Having a Beer…
  She'll be here all week or until they take her away

Crazy Anti-Energy Drinks Lady Horning In On Nice Texas Bigots’ Anti-Muslim Protests

She is TRYING to save America
Great Christian Patriot Hero Crazy Lady Christine Weick is saving America, y’all, from energy drinks and gays and Muslims. Especially the Texas kind. On Thursday, when some Texas Muslims tried to pass as Texas Muslims by holding their creeping Sharia annual event, code-named Texas Muslim Capitol Day, some real patriots were there to scream at them and tell them they are not really Texican, and they are not really Americanian, and go home and be Muslim somewhere else. Like this real nice lady, Christine Weick, who grabbed the microphone to preach The Good Word About How Muslims Are Bad: Read more on Crazy Anti-Energy Drinks Lady Horning In On Nice Texas Bigots’ Anti-Muslim Protests…
  pee-drinkin' patriots

Todd Starnes Has Some Thoughts On American Jesus We Mean American Sniper

I see dead people.
Here’s a true story about Todd Starnes. Recently, I was at a party and mentioned that I was writing about Todd Starnes. The person I was talking to didn’t quite know who Todd Starnes was until I said, “People make jokes about him drinking pee on Twitter. Pee jokes guy. Big hat.” Then she was like “ohh, that guy! Yeah. That’s the only reason I know who he is. The pee jokes.” So good work everyone, I guess. Read more on Todd Starnes Has Some Thoughts On American Jesus We Mean American Sniper…
  Semi-Automatic Assumptions

‘Muslim-Free’ Gun Range Lady Bans South Asian Dudes, Is Definitely Not Racist

She seems as nice as ever.
Surely nobody could have seen this coming! You remember Jan Morgan, that nice lady who declared her Hot Springs, Arkansas, gun range a Muslim-Free Zone, because of all the violence and beheadings that the Muslims are always up to — not to mention the unnerving Muslim ringtones on their phones? It turns out that she’s still quite happily running a Muslim-free establishment, and everything’s just great! Oh, and she has a great method for deciding who’s a Muslim and who isn’t: good old racial profiling. Read more on ‘Muslim-Free’ Gun Range Lady Bans South Asian Dudes, Is Definitely Not Racist…
  Are You Afraid Enough? Please Be More Afraid

America Turns To Wingnuts For Comfort, Wisdom On Paris Attacks

Nous ne sommes pas étonnés
So it looks like the search for the murderers of 12 people at the Paris offices of Charlie Hebdo has come to its bloody end, with all the terrorists dead and four hostages killed in an attack on a kosher supermarket in Paris. As usual in these situations (and can we all just pause for a moment and be horrified that we know what’s “usual” in a terrorist attack?), a lot of the details are still not yet certain. But while we’re still learning the details, it’s definitely not too soon to move to the vital important next phase: explaining how the events in Paris fit into American culture-war politics, especially the all-important question of What To Do About All The Muslims. Read more on America Turns To Wingnuts For Comfort, Wisdom On Paris Attacks…
  Derp Overload

How Are Wingnuts Reacting To Paris Massacre? You’d Be Surprised! (No You Wouldn’t)

And Billo was one of the more restrained ones
While Parisians took to the streets with their “Je Suis Charlie” signs yesterday to quietly express solidarity with the murdered satirists and bystanders at the offices of Charlie Hebdo, the American Wingnut-Industrial Complex was in Full Panic Mode, explaining exactly why we all need to pay attention to this horrific terrorist act by three people that all Muslims bear responsibility for. Fox News’s Bill O’Reilly actually offered one of the tamer bits of stupid on the attack, complaining that when he condemned the murders, Barack Obama was actually downplaying the Muslim threat. The president had expressed confidence that France’s commitment to freedom of speech “is something that can’t be silenced by the senseless violence of the few.” Ah, but Mr. Obama has it all wrong, said O’Reilly: Read more on How Are Wingnuts Reacting To Paris Massacre? You’d Be Surprised! (No You Wouldn’t)…
  Time to hide under the bed again

You’ll Never Guess Who Fox News Thinks Is Guilty Of Terrorisming The United States Of Paris

Wimpy tyrant dictator doormat Obama is refusing to call the terrorist attack in Paris a terrorist attack — except for how he did do that — but the omnipotent experts at Fox “News” know better. Not only was it a terrorist attack, but it was political correctness and New York Mayor Bill de Blasio what done it, because of political correctness and communism, THANKS OBAMA. Read more on You’ll Never Guess Who Fox News Thinks Is Guilty Of Terrorisming The United States Of Paris…
  We Completely Left Out Odin Again

2014: The Year In God-Bothering

If it's one thing I can't stand, it's people groveling.
God had another big year in 2014, especially right near the end, when His Servant on Earth, Bill O’Reilly, finally declared victory in the War on Christmas. So we can look forward to a 2015 that’s free of that particular topic, we bet. Even so, it would appear that there are still a few areas of American life where religion has caused a wee bit of a ruckus. Like, let’s say, the courts, where the Supremes declared that the Hobby Lobby corporation’s sincerely held religious beliefs can exempt them from following laws they don’t like. Not that there’s going to be any weird fallout from that decision, like people suing for the right to ignore child labor laws because God says it’s OK. Read more on 2014: The Year In God-Bothering…
  louie louie

Louie Gohmert Takes His Crucifixion Porn Fetish To The Floor Of The House

fap fap fap
Up top is Texas toadstool Louie Gohmert on the House floor a little while ago, giving one of those speeches that reminds us all he is democracy’s greatest orator since Cicero. What important topic could the toadstool be expounding on, with visual aids that appear to be blown-up stills from the final scene of Spartacus? Let’s listen in. Read more on Louie Gohmert Takes His Crucifixion Porn Fetish To The Floor Of The House…
  Onward Judeo-Christian Soldiers

Bill O’Reilly Will Fight All The Muslims In The War On Christmas

Seems it comes earlier every year
It’s that time of year again. The first snows are falling, the college kids are planning their trips home for Thanksgiving break, and the calls for impeaching the president are stretching into their sixth year. And so, it it time for the festive celebration of the War On Christmas, that annual ritual where Bill O’Reilly and all of Fox News protect the rights of Christians to scream “Merry Christmas — NOT HAPPY HOLIDAYS!” in the name of the Prince of Peace. Read more on Bill O’Reilly Will Fight All The Muslims In The War On Christmas…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Day: You Lieberals And Your Stupid Fake ‘Global Warming’

Hey, Sunbutt, it's the Solstice. Go do your job.
Oh, golly gee, this will be a fun edition of Dear Shitferbrains, because not only do we have a genuine climate denier in our the ol’ comments queue, we also have a concern troll who accuses us of being fascists, a possible Poe’s Law enthusiast (or straightforward lunatic), and a Ben Carson fan. AND MORE! Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Day: You Lieberals And Your Stupid Fake ‘Global Warming’…
  Irrefutable Proof Is Irrefutable

The Bible Proves Obama’s The Antichrist, Again

It's th' Pink Pony of the Apocalypse! Run for Your Lives!
Hope you enjoyed your Blood Moon this morning — it’s a sign of the Apocalypse! So is the fact that our morning bagel showed us a vision of Satan gnawing on the bones of the damned. But that could just say more about the quality of bagels available in Boise. Read more on The Bible Proves Obama’s The Antichrist, Again…
  Another Hotbed Of Extremism (We Mean Breitbart)

Dead Breitbart Outraged Muslims Helped Rebuild Oklahoma After Tornado

Muslim sharks will behead you!
Hey, just how paranoid and crazy is Dead Breitbart today? Well, howzabout this here headline? WHITE HOUSE SENDS ‘THANK YOU’ TO BEHEADER’S OKLAHOMA MOSQUE CONGREGATION Good gracious gravy, why is the White House praising the nest of vipers that spawned Oklahoma beheader man Alton Nolen? After all, as all right-wingers know, Nolen singlehandedly brought Jihad to America a couple weeks back when he cut off a woman’s head in a horrible murder, even though the local DA continues to think, wrongly of course, that Nolen was more motivated by being fired for being a racist than by his religion — probably because, as everyone knows, Oklahoma prosecutors are so notoriously PC. Read more on Dead Breitbart Outraged Muslims Helped Rebuild Oklahoma After Tornado…
  Some Men Just Want To Call The World Flat

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Tom Friedman Rented ‘Batman’ Edition

Holy nightmare fuel, Batman!
Most of the news today is predictably awful, so we will just skim it, thank you. Good god, you people aren’t actually relying on Yr Wonkette to be informed, are you? It looks like the government of Hong Kong is trying to avoid going all Tienanmen Square on pro-democracy protesters, so that’s a good thing. The federal government is trying to reach out to disaffected Muslim youth in America to prevent them from joining ISIS and other terrorist groups, a task which is made difficult by the fact that the government has done so much to treat American Muslims like pariahs (and American wingnuts keep calling for more). See the treatment of NPR’s Sarah Abdurrahman during a routine crossing from Canada back into the US last year for an example of actions that may be even more likely than AP History to make people hate this government. Read more on Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Tom Friedman Rented ‘Batman’ Edition…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Day: Why Aren’t You Cowards Afraid Of Muslims Like You Should Be?

Just try to keep the Yaks happy
Time for another visit to the ol’ comment queue, where we find that our coverage of the Scary Muslim Beheading In Oklahoma really set off this one person going by the username”Karolthekafir,” who appears to be inordinately fond of limes. Over the space of a couple days, karolthekafir left just under 20 comments on the one story, and they shared a certain… predictability after a while. Here’s one of karol’s first efforts to educate us poor benighted liberals to the need for immediate panic: Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Day: Why Aren’t You Cowards Afraid Of Muslims Like You Should Be?…
  700 Flub

Pat Robertson Pretty Sure Obama’s Going To Behead Everybody Just Like He Did In Oklahoma

Why does Obama hate freedom scams?
Today, we’ve learned a little more about last Thursday’s awful murder in Oklahoma, and according to the local district attorney, it appears that racial animosity may have had more to do with Alton Nolen’s motives than religion did. Read more on Pat Robertson Pretty Sure Obama’s Going To Behead Everybody Just Like He Did In Oklahoma…
  clipbait

Stephen Colbert Perplexed By This Muslim Sportsball Man And His Exotic Ways (Video)

Actual penalty; Holding... the wrong religious beliefs
Stephen Colbert is just as puzzled as we were about the curious case of the Kansas City player who was penalized for Muslim Tebowing — especially after the NFL decided, no, that wasn’t a penalty after all. It’s not so much the religious freedom question that has Colbert perplexed as a more fundamental matter: Why are Islamazoids like Husain Abdullah even playing in the NFL “if they’re not allowed to touch pig skin? What’s gonna happen? We’re gonna have to switch to Halal balls.” Read more on Stephen Colbert Perplexed By This Muslim Sportsball Man And His Exotic Ways (Video)…
  One Ringy Dingy

Arkansas Hero Lady Bans Muslims From Gun Range So They Can’t Cut Off Your Head

The tinny tones of Jihad!
In a world where scary Muslims are cutting off heads every few minutes, and where scary Muslims are also just generally being scary all the time, it only makes sense to be scared of Muslims, and to keep your business safe from them. That’s why Jan Morgan, owner of the Gun Cave Indoor Firing Range in Hot Springs, Arkansas, has declared her business to be a “Muslim-Free Zone.” She has a pretty good reason, too, which we’re sure will be very convincing to anyone who tries to argue that Title II of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 might apply to her business: Read more on Arkansas Hero Lady Bans Muslims From Gun Range So They Can’t Cut Off Your Head…