• Some sort of Truther claims Barack Obama isn’t muslin? Someone has been watching too much Zeitgeist! [True/Slant: Ali Eteraz]
• Nancy Pelosi needs a hug. [The Caucus]
• Time for a feel-good story about the selfless charity of a very special health insurance company. Gather the kids ’round the computer screen. Do you have your cup of coco ready? And enough marshmallows? [Think Progress]
• Why would the Democrats want to keep young Americans from attending college? Everyone knows Harry Reid is a huge Dave Matthews fan, and that Barbara Boxer is captain of her ultimate Frisbee team. Democrats love college. [RedState]
• Some racist Obama pics for your spankbank. [AMERICAblog]

YES! Here is your Barack Obama giving the “most muslin speech ever” by wishing the terrorists “Ramadan Kareem” on “behalf of the American people, including Muslim communities in all 50 states.” (”Ramadan Kareem” means “Merry Starvation Christmas,” in Mexican.) Then he explains Muslim culture for a while. Fifty million white grandmothers in America are opening their forwarded e-mails for the day right now and freaking the fuck out. MORE »

Wonkette’s favorite girlfriend Jeanne Moos quoted our own Ken Layne referring to Obama’s “Ich bin ein Muslin” speech in Cairo yesterday. Other people, it appears, had the same clever catchphrase rattling around their skulls but whatever, Wonkette wins the Jeanne Moos News Hour. [CNN]

Former George Bush Jr. press secretary and current Mark Penn employee (as part of the Microtrend “My Concubines”), Dana Perino, simply does not care for this Barack Obama going to a Muslim country and addressing Muslims directly as Muslims, because somehow being aware of various cultural backgrounds is a zero-sum game, and for every Muslim Barack Obama pays attention to, an old white pentecostal nut in northwest Georgia is forced to sit at the back of the bus. Or so she wrote on America’s Blog! MORE »

Oh here’s a nice response to Barack Obama’s “Ich bin ein Muslin” talky-talk in Egypt: “The first 15 minutes of President Obama’s speech to the Muslim world was what I wanted to hear from candidate Obama a year ago. Had he given that portion of his speech during the presidential campaign much of the irrational fear of Obama as some sort of Muslim Manchurian candidate would have been relieved …. This was one of President Obama’s more important speeches and he rose to the occasion and delivered a fine speech.” And this was posted at, uhm, RedState What? MORE »

Let’s get it out of the way: Barack Obama said a word in Arabic to the Saudi King! How many of these Arabic “words” does he secretly know? What we need is more Ed Henry-type reporter antiheroes to pin this down, before “Judgment Day.” MORE »

SCREW YOU, MUSLIMS! The Supreme Court ruled today that Bush Administration officials cannot be sued for polices that led to 700+ Muslims in the United States being “arrested, roughed up and locked in a maximum security prison” after the 9/11 attacks. So, John Ashcroft and Robert Mueller are free to continue plotting against us. [LA Times]

By the Comics Curmudgeon
Are you bored with run-of-the-mill conspiracies? “The Jews did 9/11!” Yawn. “Where’s Obama’s birth certificate?” Snooze. “The Illuminati pull the strings behind the world’s government!” That’s going to be the plot of a major motion picture directed by Ron fucking Howard and scheduled for summer release, my friend. No, to learn the really exceptionally deranged conspiracy theories tormenting the mind of America’s most paranoid, you have two choices: you can listen to the half-understandable rambling of filth-encrusted hobos, or you can read political cartoons. MORE »

Former “Bushie” chief speechwriter Marc Thiessen has written another opinion piece in this morning’s Washington Post and, like most WP columns, it is terrible. But lopsidedly so! It starts on the standard torture defense notes — if torture was effective sometimes then how do you deal with THAT, libtards? Would you rather be dead? — but then just has to go a bit further: apparently the CIA knows very much about the Muslim religion, and it turns out that they, the Muslims, want to be tortured, and the interrogators are just trying to help them on their spiritual quest. MORE »

HMM. Michele Bachmann’s got her name in the newspapers again! This happens very easily: go on the wingnut’s radio show, get asked “what’s the reaction” in Minnesota to the fact that the state has an “openly” Muslim congressman (Keith Ellison) who knows Muslim people (Barack Obama?), and argue that the liberal media is not concerned enough about this very obvious terrorism, what with the Flying Imams and stuff who probably all know Ellison from Muslim parties and Al Qaeda. MORE »

Thank you to reader “crookedE,” who writes, “I’m sure I’m not the only one who spotted this, but I just had to send it over.” In fact crookedE was the only person who contacted us with this wonderful screencap, which means the rest of you need to quit nodding off while you masturbate to “Fox and Friends” because there is important information going on over at MSNBC.