Tag Archives: muslims

  Cool position bro

Scott Walker Not Too Scared To Say All Muslims Are Bad

He’s just not very good at this Gov. Scott “Look at my big Reaganesque balls” Walker has been having a hell of a time trying to figure out where he fits on the Republican spectrum of hating brown American citizens. In the span of a week, he was against birthright citizenship, guaranteed in the 14th Amendment. Then he was “not taking a position,” and now he’s come around again, and he is definitely opposed to changing the Constitution, at least until lunchtime tomorrow, at which point, who even knows? Read more on Scott Walker Not Too Scared To Say All Muslims Are Bad…
  Set Phasers To 'DUMB'

KKK Dude Wanted To Unleash Death Ray Against Muslims, Including Obama

And his application to the Evil League Of Evil was going so well...
And his application to the Evil League Of Evil was going so well… You have probably been wondering for YEARS (a bit over two of them, to be precise) what happened to those idiots in upstate New York who were arrested for planning to use a Radiation Death Ray to wipe out Muslims, haven’t you? We know we had vaguely thought of it at least once since Glendon Crawford and Eric Feight were arrested in 2013 for their plan to throw deadly radiation from the back of a truck at a mosque and a Muslim school, and thus strike a blow against Islamic Radicalism in the USA. Well, one of the genius mad scientists, Crawford, is finally on trial, and his lawyer is arguing that undercover government agents entrapped him and pushed him into playing Radiation Terrorist. His pal Feight pleaded guilty in 2014 and may or may not testify against Crawford. Read more on KKK Dude Wanted To Unleash Death Ray Against Muslims, Including Obama…
  noblesse oblige

George Zimmerman Made New Finger Painting For Racist, Gun-Fondling BFF

Aren't those amendments part of the AMERICAN constitution?
Aren’t those amendments part of the AMERICAN constitution? Florida Man George Zimmerman, the guy who killed Trayvon Martin that one time, is somehow not currently in prison, which just proves you cannot cage artistic genius. Instead, he is doing art again, which is good and healthy and nice, because it’s real hard to aim and shoot at teenagers when your hands are all messy with finger paint: Read more on George Zimmerman Made New Finger Painting For Racist, Gun-Fondling BFF…
  This could get exciting!

Michele Bachmann Says Carly Fiorina Loves Muslims Too Much To Be President

What is she up to now? Here is a thing that happened: We would never assume that former member of Congress and one-time presidential wannabe Michele Bachmann would automatically support Carly Fiorina for president, just because of how she is a batshit crazy conservative rightwing Republican lady, just like Bachmann. As far as we can tell, she shares all of Bachmann’s exact same values, so you’d think Bachmann would be like, “Woot, Carly4Prez!” But that would makes us the REAL SEXISTS, maybe? Read more on Michele Bachmann Says Carly Fiorina Loves Muslims Too Much To Be President…
  Hide yr dergs!

Oh No, Barack Obama Is Going To Do The Puppy Holocaust Now, For Allah!

DON'T BELIEVE HIM BO.
You know that thing during the Super Bowl, where there is the Puppy Bowl for all the girls and homosexuals who are only there for the spiked punch? And know how, as per Mike Huckabee, Obama is doing the REAL HOLOCAUST to Israel, by making a deal to keep Iran nuke-free? Well, apparently Obama’s got time for a puppy Holocaust for Allah, during the commercial breaks of the real Holocaust, according to wingnut radio host Michael Savage, who we actually didn’t know still existed: Read more on Oh No, Barack Obama Is Going To Do The Puppy Holocaust Now, For Allah!…
  we are extra adorable this week!

Here It Is, The Most Florida Headline To Ever Florida: Your Florida Roundup

We will begin this week’s roundup with a headline that is too perfect, too resplendent, too quintessentially Floridian, for words: Gunshot victim dropped off at Walmart instead of hospital But because Yr Wonkette pays Yr Florida Correspondent to do words, let us break this thing down nice and slow. Read more on Here It Is, The Most Florida Headline To Ever Florida: Your Florida Roundup…
  You've Got To Be Carefully Taught Nothing

Florida Wingnuts Not About To Stand For Kiddie Books About ‘Nice Muslims,’ Hell No

Well that DOES look like indoctrination
A group of Very Concerned Parents are petitioning the Duval County Public School District in Florida to remove two books from the third-grade reading list because they’re simply too Muslimy for use in a public school. The books, Nasreen’s Secret School and The Librarian of Basra, are both by Jeanette Winter, and are based on true stories from Afghanistan and Iraq, respectively. And while both books are about the value of literacy and the love of reading, some parents want them gone from the reading list and the library, thanks to an online campaign describing the books as Islamic propaganda and potentially too mature for young readers. Yeesh. And Banned Books Week isn’t even until late September. Read more on Florida Wingnuts Not About To Stand For Kiddie Books About ‘Nice Muslims,’ Hell No…
  He's only racist against Muslims

Florida Gun Shop Will Keep You And Your Treason Flag Safe From Marauding Islamics

He seems nice
Andy Hallinan, the owner of Florida Gun Supply in Inverness, Florida, wants you to know a few facts about Muslims and the Confederate flag, because in his mind, somehow there’s a very important link between all the things he doesn’t like. For one thing, the Confederate flag is not racist or hateful, because just look at Andy Hallinan: He is not racist or hateful, but he does know that America is at war with Radical Islam, and that’s why his gun store is now a “Muslim-Free Zone,” which is a totally original idea that has never been cynically deployed to drive business, for America (and is probably perfectly OK with the Civil Rights Act, we bet). Read more on Florida Gun Shop Will Keep You And Your Treason Flag Safe From Marauding Islamics…
  When will the gay terrors cease?

Dead Breitbart Real Upset How Gay Rainbow Flag Murdered Those Marines In Chattanooga

The threat is real.
Ever since June 26, the day which will live in infamy, when the Supreme Court gave America the right gay throatcramming she deserved, wingnuts have been observed in various states of utter, pants-shitting meltdown. And much of it, against the backdrop of the death of the Confederate flag, has centered on the gay rainbow, and how it is lynching the good American Christians, and how the White House did a 9/11 to the world when it was lit up in rainbow colors. Truly we are living in tragic days. Read more on Dead Breitbart Real Upset How Gay Rainbow Flag Murdered Those Marines In Chattanooga…
  All the tears

South Carolina Senator Cries Hilarious Man-Sobs For Confederate Flag Bested By Gayness

It was thiiiiis big!
The South Carolina Senate voted Tuesday to remove the Confederate Flag from the state Capitol grounds, sending the bill to the state House, and hopefully, eventually, to Gov. Nikki Haley’s desk. This is very bothersome for state Sen. Lee Bright (R-No Shit), who just doesn’t see why we’re spending all this time talking about the Confederate Flag, not when the FLAG OF GAY HOMOSEXUAL ABOMINATION is currently flying over the ENTIRETY OF AMERICA. Bright, who is Ted Cruz’s campaign co-chair for South Carolina (obviously), melted all the way down into a pile of shouty Southern fire and brimstone wingnut tears as he explained on the state Senate floor just how much God hates America now: Read more on South Carolina Senator Cries Hilarious Man-Sobs For Confederate Flag Bested By Gayness…
  More gay 9/11 coming apparently

Wingnut Terror Alert Level Raised To ‘Hey Gurl!’ After White House Gay Rainbow Display

Just gonna put this here one more time.
On Friday night, after the historic Supreme Court decision where Justice Anthony Kennedy destroyed all heterosexual marriages by letting gays in on the institution, the White House gave us ALL THE FEELS by turning rainbow-colored for the night. The display had been planned for months, which proves President Obama is in the tank for Big Homo, and it was A Good Thing. Indeed, President Obama called it “a moment worth savoring,” even though he had to watch it on teevee, due to presidents are not allowed to play outside after dark. Read more on Wingnut Terror Alert Level Raised To ‘Hey Gurl!’ After White House Gay Rainbow Display…
  Also Needs Advice On Avoiding Publicity

Arizona’s ‘F*ck Islam’ Hero Selling Motorcycle To Buy More Guns, Obviously

Poor bastard can't even afford a shirt
Show some respect for Jon Ritzheimer, the professional victim who organized the Great Big Scream At A Mosque Rally in Phoenix, proudly posed in his “Fuck Islam” t-shirt, claimed he has been targeted for death by radical Muslims, and whined — in the very same Facebook post — that “Not one news out let will interview me” but also “I just want me and my family to disappear” from public view. So of course, he’s in public view again. He’s selling his motorcycle so he can afford the necessities of life. Not food or rent, silly; he needs to buy more guns, because his life is still in great danger! Read more on Arizona’s ‘F*ck Islam’ Hero Selling Motorcycle To Buy More Guns, Obviously…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: There’s Sharia Creepin’ All Over Wonkette!

Newsweek's gift to posterity
For a mommyblog and recipe hub that doesn’t allow comments, Yr Wonkette sure got a lot of crazy ones on our story about Friday’s Great Big Free-Speech-n-Guns Rally Against Islam in Phoenix. Our favorite was from “Elizabeth,” who explained that since we were making fun of a bunch of hate-filled goons with guns, we had obviously been blinded to the true nature of Islam, because those Muslims just lie all the time: Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: There’s Sharia Creepin’ All Over Wonkette!…
  I'll take "false equivalency" for $500 Alex

Ted Cruz Wishes America Would Focus A Little Less On Buttsex, A Little More On ISIS

English lacks sufficient invective for this man
America, you have GAY SEX ON THE BRAIN. You are thinking about it right now, in fact! How else can Ted Cruz explain why everybody keeps asking him about things like “gay marriage” and “equality?” It’s obviously because The Liberals (read: everybody to the left of Ted Cruz’s dad and Genghis Khan) are just too busy thinking about guys boning each other to focus on the important stuff, like ISIS: Read more on Ted Cruz Wishes America Would Focus A Little Less On Buttsex, A Little More On ISIS…
  gross

Ma And Pa Duggar Still Trying To Make ALL The Babies, For Jesus

Don't you just want to confess things to them?
It would seem that Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar have taken your Wonkette’s advice, about how they need more babies, since the Muslims are going to outnumber the Christians very, very soon (55 years from now). So off to the marital bed they have been skipping, because according to their own words, they’ve been fuckin’. In a new interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network, they explained that they are SO EXCITED that their grown-up opposite-married kids are having all the babies (three this year, which is far more output than Michelle ever was able to manage when the Duggar Vagina Clown Car industry was a one-woman operation), and if The Lord is still interested, they’d love it if He would put some more Duggar babies in her babycave, via the holy rod and staff of Jim Bob: Read more on Ma And Pa Duggar Still Trying To Make ALL The Babies, For Jesus…
  let's challenge her to a rap battle

Ann Romney May Be In A Gang, Hide Your Kids! Your Weekly Top Ten.

Don't hate the playa, hate the game.
WELL HELLO THERE, Wonketariat! It is Sunday, which means it’s time for us to go to brunch and also gossip with you about the week’s top stories, but before we get to that, we feel compelled to quickly discuss the picture above, which Ann Romney, wife of Mitt, shared on the Twitter after her husband’s charity boxing match with Evander Holyfield. Is Ann Romney in a gang now? PROBABLY, because she is so street. She told the Twitter that she was very excited to be part of “Mitt’s posse.” Anybody who coughs up a video of Romney (husband OR wife) twerking wins an “Obamaphone.” Read more on Ann Romney May Be In A Gang, Hide Your Kids! Your Weekly Top Ten….