Tag Archives: muslim brotherhood

  Clintongate

National Review: But What About The Clintons’ Underage Sex Slaves And Russian Blackmail?

She's coming for YOU. And YOU. And YOU.
Conservatives have yet to uncover The Scandal that will, once and for all and forever, destroy history’s greatest monsters, Bill and Hillary Clinton. Not for lack of trying — for decades, with a bazillionteen dollars, and an army of rightwing organizations dedicated to inspecting every scrap of toilet paper that ever wiped a Clinton’s butthole. And not without the aid of the media, even the “liberal” media like the New York Times, always happy to imply that if the Clintons drew a breath, it was perhaps illegal, immoral, unethical, or too horrifically X-rated to explain to the children. Read more on National Review: But What About The Clintons’ Underage Sex Slaves And Russian Blackmail?…
  Why Didn't He Just See 'American Sniper' With All The Other Wingnuts?

Louie Gohmert’s Movie Review: ‘Selma’ An Inspiring Reminder To Fear Muslims

Tahrir Square, 2013 (but definitely not 2011)
Texas Congressmaroon Louie Gohmert saw a movie about the Civil Rights Movement, and it so inspired him that he just had to tell the world about its inspiring message about the need to defeat Radical Islam. Read more on Louie Gohmert’s Movie Review: ‘Selma’ An Inspiring Reminder To Fear Muslims…
  Vladimir Putin Feeling Neglected

Republicans Have Massive Freedom Boner For Egypt’s Dictator

Why can't we have a nice military dictator too?
Attention, Wonkers: We’re proud to announce that the American right has a new Strongman Boyfriend! They seem to have a real crush on Egyptian President Gen. Abdel Fattah al-Sisi, who seized power in the 2013 coup against Mohammed Morsi. Lots of wingers love him because he outlawed the Muslim Brotherhood and made the trains run on time, or at least he outlawed the Muslim Brotherhood. And even better, as Sen. Lindsey Graham noted over the weekend, al-Sisi recognizes the need for an actual religious war against radical Islam, while Barack Obama pretends that terrorists aren’t even Muslims at all, and won’t even say the words “radical Islam,” except for the times that Obama has actually said “radical Islam.” Read more on Republicans Have Massive Freedom Boner For Egypt’s Dictator…
  so long farewell

A Children’s Treasury Of ‘Normal Real Person’ Michele Bachmann

She's real something all right
Photo by Beth Ethier While watching soon-to-be-former-Rep. Michele Bachmann tell the Values Voter Summit Friday morning that she is a “normal real person,” the sense of just how great a source of comedy we are losing with her upcoming retirement really hit home. Is there even a reason for Wonkette to go on existing once old Crazy Eyes walks off the House floor for the final time and flies back to a life of hot dish suppers and plagues of foster children? We’re going to mention this to the Editrix if she ever surfaces from her long sex tour of the West Coast. Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of ‘Normal Real Person’ Michele Bachmann…
  He Also Shares A Name With A Muppet On Socialist Public TV

Victoria Jackson Will Root Out The Muslim Menace (Grover Norquist)

You just knew this would come out
American Hero and unsuccessful county supervisor candidate Victoria Jackson is very concerned about the Muslim Threat in America, of course, and is especially sad to see that even supposed conservatives like Grover Norquist are secretly helping to help Sharia Law creep into Our America. And so she has published a very thoughtful examination of Grover Norquist’s disloyalty to America, in a two-part series that is Just Asking Questions: Is Republican Grover Norquist Connected to Islamic Terrorists? Also, Who is Grover Norquist? Friend or Foe? Read more on Victoria Jackson Will Root Out The Muslim Menace (Grover Norquist)…
  fox news unamerican committee strikes again

Allen West, Fox & Friends Expose Muslim Plot To Jihad America With Votes

You guys, there is some serious UN-AMERICAN activity happening, and we bet you don’t know about it! According to Allen West on Fox & Friends, there is a secret Muslim plot in America to… wait for it… become politically organized in order to push for policies that are more friendly towards Muslims. Now is the appropriate time to FREAK THE FUCK OUT. Seriously, freak out, dammit. What’s wrong with you? Why aren’t you freaking out! Did you not click on that video? Did you not see the graphic of “Islamic Extremism on the Rise,” with totally not-racist pictures of men in turbans wielding rocket-launchers? This threat will ruin American civilization and likely cause the death of all kittens, because it is THAT BAD. If your hands aren’t shaking too much, let’s scaresplore this threat to life, liberty, and religious freedom the American way.  Read more on Allen West, Fox & Friends Expose Muslim Plot To Jihad America With Votes…
  triumph of the shrill

Victoria Jackson Just Says Yes To Running For Office, All Wonkette’s Fever Nightmare Dreams Come True

We knew it might happen. We hoped for the best. We had a campaign poster contest. And now we have the candidate. The Tennessean reports: Former “Saturday Night Live” cast member Victoria Jackson wants her next act to be as a Williamson County Commissioner. Jackson, who moved to Thompson’s Station last year, is petitioning as an independent to become a candidate for one of two District 2 commission seats, currently held by commissioners Betsy Hester and John Hancock. V-Jack, honey, we are behind you 3000 percent. And in your world, that’s a real number. Read more on Victoria Jackson Just Says Yes To Running For Office, All Wonkette’s Fever Nightmare Dreams Come True…
  but what does debbie harry think?

Reverend Billy Graham, Devil-Expert Charlie Daniels Totally Sure The Rapture-Christ-Pocalypse Is Near, For Real This Time

Aw yeah, it’s that time again folks. The end times, you hear? Time to get right with the Lord and take stock of your personal relationship with Jesus Christ, because the apocalypse trend is back again, hotter than hell-fire. And the fervent calls to immenantize the eschaton are being led this time by what has to be the worst game of fuck-marry-kill-and-kill-again ever – Billy Graham, Benjamin Netanyahu, Michele Bachmann, and Charlie Daniels. In a longer than the Bible two-million word interview with older-than-an-Old-Testament-prophet, and multiple apocalypse predictor Billy Graham, World Net Daily gives some rather surprisingly decent background on and contextualizing of the recurring obsession with all things end of the world, and Billy Graham’s very important part in making it finally happen. In an exclusive email interview with WND, Graham, 94, who is giving what may be his last message to the world as part of the My Hope America with Billy Graham evangelistic outreach in early November, said the world is “coming toward the end of the age.” Haha, this may be his last message, you guys, because Billy Graham is 94 years old, and he must be coming close to the end of something, right? But he’s not dead yet, so in the meantime, he’s got this whole new book and video series to sell, in order to save our souls, and probably pay for whatever blood of virgins Billy Graham bathes in to keep his old ass ambulatory. Read more on Reverend Billy Graham, Devil-Expert Charlie Daniels Totally Sure The Rapture-Christ-Pocalypse Is Near, For Real This Time…
  a confederacy of dunces

Congresscritters Bachmann, Gohmert, & King Love Egyptian Coup, Think Muslim Brotherhood Did 9/11

America’s three stupidest congresscritters, Michele Bachmann, Louie Gohmert, and Steve King (the cantaloupe guy, not the IRA guy), held a press conference Saturday to praise the Egyptian military for overthrowing the elected government and for its recent attempt to eliminate the Muslim Brotherhood; they also expressed their support for continued arms sales to the military government and urged it to “stand firm” against terrorism. The three appeared to attribute all terrorism to the Muslim Brotherhood, because it has the scary name “Muslim Brotherhood” after all. Read more on Congresscritters Bachmann, Gohmert, & King Love Egyptian Coup, Think Muslim Brotherhood Did 9/11…
  this man may not be intellectually honest

Wingnut Convinces Self That Yr Wonkette Consorts With Demons, Muslims

Remember how Yr Wonkette went to Jim Hoft’s Big Rage-a-Palooza over the weekend, to demand that he #PAYUP the moneez what he owes us? And remember how this one guy, Eric, grabbed our clever “Nazi-Themed Sign” sign and tried to rip it up while yelling at us about the Holocaust? And we decided to put our sign away, because it was probably a little too meta for this crowd, and also we felt bad and decided we didn’t need to be dicks? We explained the sign to Eric in our Calm Voice and after we put it away (and after he’d trooped off to yell at attendees with actual Nazi-themed signs), he said “Thank you.” We thought we were all good! On the same “honesty in media and also in not actually carrying Nazi-themed signs” team! Neither of us believed Barack Obama was trying to put him in an oven! Which is what he told the people with the actual Nazi-themed signs! Well it turns out that Eric was Eric Golub, the “comedian” who was on the bill for the Rage Thing, and he has written a blog thing about Yr Wonkette! We bet he will apologize for grabbing our clever sign and missing the point! One of the women carried a sign with the word “NAZI” emblazoned on it. Wonkette’s goal was simple: get their sign on camera and hope people would associate conservatives with Nazis. Perhaps they’d even think that conservatives were holding signs suggesting that people be Nazis. This liberal astroturfing fooled nobody, and more than one attendee demanded that the offensive sign be removed. Oh. We think maybe he missed the point again. Or maybe — and we want to be careful here — he lied like a big lying liar. Read more on Wingnut Convinces Self That Yr Wonkette Consorts With Demons, Muslims…
  coup coup katchoo

America Not Sure What’s Going On In This ‘Egypt,’ Except It’s Probably Obama’s Fault

It appears — perhaps and maybe! — that possibly there is somewhat of a fuffle in Egypt. If you want visuals without any explanation, ABCNews has an un-narrated video feed from Tahrir Square, where people are waving enough handheld lasers to make for a pretty good Pink Floyd show. Read more on America Not Sure What’s Going On In This ‘Egypt,’ Except It’s Probably Obama’s Fault…
  And is Eric Holder a Space Alien? We are only asking!

Louie Gohmert: Boston Bombings Happened Because Eric Holder Gay-Married To Islam

Texas Congressman Louie Gohmert (R-Lookatmee), clearly worried that he was no longer on the leading edge of crazed paranoia, suggested today that Attorney General Eric Holder allowed Boston bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev to be read his Miranda rights not because Tsarnaev is a U.S. Citizen entitled to certain rights under the Constitution, but because Holder has a big throbbing stiffy for radical Islam. Holder also let the bombing happen because, in his extreme commitment to political correctness, he personally forbade the FBI from even asking Tamerlan Tsarnaev just how thoroughly Muslimy he was. Cool story, bro! Read more on Louie Gohmert: Boston Bombings Happened Because Eric Holder Gay-Married To Islam…
  keeping us safe

Michele Bachmann Still On House Intelligence Committee

Did you feel safer sometime around 11 a.m. Eastern on Friday? Almost as though someone (or someones!) very capable was keeping an eye on our enemies, both foreign and domestic? Of course you did, this is because John Boehner has put Michele Bachmann on the House Intelligence Committee again. Aren’t we lucky, Amercia? USA! USA! No, the demands to have her removed aren’t because she is stupid, because there are plenty of other stupid people doing incredibly important things these days, (see, for example, most of the people on the Committee on Science, Space, and Technology), and this is the new normal. Stupid people doing important things are all the rage these days, no one can be bothered about it. No, that’s not it, people are upset about this particular stupid person because she has made “controversial” statements, which has made “some people” have some “concerns:” Minnesota Republican Rep. Michele Bachmann has been reappointed to the House intelligence committee despite concerns about some of the controversial statements she has made. Read more on Michele Bachmann Still On House Intelligence Committee…
  Fog of WTF?

Congresscritter Louie Gohmert: Why’d Obama Go And Kill That Nice Kaddafi?

Texas Congressman Louie Gohmert (R-Edge Of Obscurity), after a political season in which his sterling record of saying pure unadulterated crazy shit was nearly eclipsed by the likes of Todd Akin and Allen West, would just like to tell these young upstarts to sit back and watch how an professional goes Full Gohmert. And so, speaking on one-note paranoid Frank “Sharia is Creeping Into My Pants” Gaffney’s radio show, Rep. Gohmert offered a creative new twist on the thesis that the President of the United States is secretly a Muslin who wants to establish a Worldwide Caliphate. Gaffney, you may recall, is the genius who thought Obama forced the US Missile Defense Agency to change its logo to incorporate an Islamic crescent to signal his “submission to Shariah,” and latter waged war against the letter “C” for similar reasons. Read more on Congresscritter Louie Gohmert: Why’d Obama Go And Kill That Nice Kaddafi?…
  how our brightest minds operate

Oh, Right, Remember When Michele Bachmann Was Researching Her Muslim Infiltration Letter on the Airplane?

Your Wonkette is so good at capitalizing on its comparative advantages during major news events that, umm… it’s taken us four days to remember that we had a post about someone in May who sat next to Michele Bachmann on a plane, while she was reading a dumb book about Muslim infiltration of the government. Who knew she would act on that? (Everybody.) Let’s call it a re-scoop and give ourselves some Pulitzers and filet mignon. Read more on Oh, Right, Remember When Michele Bachmann Was Researching Her Muslim Infiltration Letter on the Airplane?…
  rino

John Boehner Also Won’t Defend Michele Bachmann For Randomly Accusing Top Officials of Terrorism

As usual, all your Wonkette had to do was demand accountability in a single post and boom, there it is: accountability. It’s not such a bad gig, being the most powerful blog in the universe. (We would imagine.) Isn’t it a delight to see everyone finally condemn Michele Bachmann for smearing Hillary Clinton aide Huma Abedin, instead of simply laughing this off as one more thing? You’ve got your Walnuts, Ed Rollins, Marco Rubio, some other folks, and now John Boehner, who said today: “I don’t know Huma. But from everything that I do know of her, she has a sterling character, and I think accusations like this being thrown around are pretty dangerous.” You know what else would be pretty dangerous, Boehner? Huma Abedin plotting another 9/11, right now, with Egypt and her husband, Mr. Penis. Read more on John Boehner Also Won’t Defend Michele Bachmann For Randomly Accusing Top Officials of Terrorism…
  spies like us

Never Forget: Michele Bachmann Is The Real Victim Of Calling People Muslim Terrorists

Fun times at the Capitol! First Congresswoman Michele Bachmann (who sits on the House Intelligence Committee) released a letter saying Hillary Clinton’s top aide, superhotty Huma Abedin (who is married to Anthony Wiener, known Jew, also) is probably a Muslim terrorist! After all, why is the State Department giving security clearances to people whose fathers once knew a guy who knew a guy who might have given some money to the Muslim Brotherhood, HENGHHH? And then John McCain had one of his biannual decency jags, and went on the floor of the Senate and struck Michele Bachmann across the face with a glove and challenged her to a duel, for Abedin’s honor. And now Michele Bachmann is really, really butthurt that people would be so MEAN as to “distort” her McCarthyite witch-hunt letters, when all she did was call State Department employees part of the cabal of Muslin Satan! HOW DARE PEOPLE SAY MICHELE BACHMANN’S WORDS THAT SHE WROTE? Read more on Never Forget: Michele Bachmann Is The Real Victim Of Calling People Muslim Terrorists…
  remember when she ran for president

This May Be Michele Bachmann’s Worst Stunt Yet

Ugh, a Bachmann story that we’d like to ignore if it was just another stupid gaffey line about nothing, but this really seals it: she needs to be in a mental institution, which we mean 100% seriously and with the utmost concern for her mental health, or she needs to be sued for abuse of power or defamation or whatever legalese doo-da buzzword thing it is. SHE HAS RELEASED A DOCUMENT, friends, outlining how the Muslim Brotherhood has achieved “deep penetration” into the highest levels of the federal government. She points to Huma Abedin, Hillary Clinton’s State Department slave and Anthony Weiner’s wife, as an Infiltrator, and how does she even have a security clearance? Michele Bachmann is either mentally insane or too stupid to be allowed on a federal ballot, and the latter would be an extraordinary feat. Why is she allowed to be in Congress? Why are these professionally damaging and hurtful and trashy hallucinatory accusations allowed to flow into the world without an official reprimand or censure? How is Michele Bachmann allowed to happen? Read more on This May Be Michele Bachmann’s Worst Stunt Yet…
  allahu akbar and stuff

Fox News Mixing Up All Its Scary Muslims

Egypt democratically elected her first president yesterday, Mohamed Morsi, a former member of the Muslim Brotherhood’s Guidance Office and president of their Freedom and Justice Party. We say former because as soon as his election was announced, as he promised, he resigned from both of these positions in order to convince secularists and Christians that he will serve ALL of Egypt, not just his MB pals. Egyptians still wait for him to ban all alcohol, close all the bars and make all the women wear veils. Nervous jokes on Twitter included some guy’s hash dealer telling him to stock up on smoke since that may be all he can get for a while. Read more on Fox News Mixing Up All Its Scary Muslims…
  it's morning in america

At Least Israel Thinks the U.S. Is Standing With the People of Egypt

Israel has pundits, like every uncivilized civilized country on Earth. And they no longer care for this Obama fellow. “A Bullet in the Back from Uncle Sam,” writes one, Aviad Pohoryles, who sounds alternatively very Jewish and like he’s a friend of Harry Potter. Yes, it turns out the United States is supposed to support Mubarak at all costs, even though he is a corrupt dictator who is currently being toppled. Why? Can you guess? “I don’t say everything that he did was right, but he did one thing which all of us are thankful to him for: he kept the peace in the Middle East,” says Benjamin Netanyahu. Oh: Israel. Mubarak was nice to Israel. Read more on At Least Israel Thinks the U.S. Is Standing With the People of Egypt… Read more on At Least Israel Thinks the U.S. Is Standing With the People of Egypt…