March 7, 2014
We have said this before and we will say it again. We do not actually think Megyn Kelly is dumb. Well, we think she is dumb in the sort of way we think leggings worn as pants are dumb, which is to say we think they shouldn’t exist. But we do not think Megyn Kelly […]
Say you are an Iraq War vet, an Army reservist, and you are also Muslim, and you are driving your taxi around Washington, DC. Those things are bad enough. Please do not compound your crimes against America by lying about getting your jaw fractured by a hardworking churchgoing family man who totally did not scream […]
Teeny-tiny little “non-denominational” (FUCKIN’ CHRISTIAN, BOY) Church in the Valley of Leakey, Texas, has a new sign up welcoming everyone but Barack Obama. The sign reads, “Vote for the Mormon, not the Muslim! The capitalist, not the communist!” That marquee standing outside a non-denominational church has become the talk of the town in Leakey — about […]
Barack Hussein Obama is the greatest president in the history of ever, and those who do not show him adequate fealty are instantly thrown into the Den of Despair (i.e., Joe Biden’s hamper full of dirty boxer briefs.) Let us journey now into Wonkette’s very own “Week in Review”-esque weekly review of our Dear Leader’s […]
Muslins are everywhere, and the only way to stop their rise to power in America is to remind Americans that Muslins may indeed be everywhere.
It’s time for another installment of Burn Yer Queeran, where we talk about “Islamophobia, American-style” in bullet-point format. Is everyone psyched to learn about the latest trends in bigotry? Awesome! Let’s proceed, then.
IF BILL CLINTON WAS BLACK, THEN HOW IS OBAMA NOT MUSLIM? A real winner in the Moonie Times op-ed section today. We reach Absolute Zero by only the end of the second paragraph: “The man now happy to have his Islamic-rooted middle name featured prominently has engaged in the most consequential bait-and-switch since Adolf Hitler […]
It could happen in this next half-hour. “It” being, hmm, a big hedge fund collapses? Oh no, that wouldn’t be real news. “It,” of course, meaning conclusive evidence that you dumb college liberals have succeeded in getting some Muslim ACORN guy into the White House. “Nice.” When (IF!) this becomes official, there’s only one channel […]
“Lacasse put the sign in his front yard four days ago. ‘If I see anybody touching that sign, I got a club sitting right over there,’ Lacasse said.” [Central Florida News 13]
The political children, the children are idiots. Colorado Republican Senate candidate Bob Schaffer has a son, you see, and he is 19 years old and in trouble for putting funny images on his Facebook page, like one that shows a picture of the three pyramids in Egypt with the caption, “Slavery Gets Shit Done.” Well, […]
Four-year-old lazy greaseball European gay Himmler-phile Barack Obama continues to be too effete for the United States. He just got back from his stupid trip to Nowheresville, Iraq and pinko Europe and he’s already planning another trip out of the country — this time to “Hawaii,” the main island of Indonesia, where he grew up […]
Our pretend buddy and former colleague Will Leitch left the sports blog Deadspin last week. As he invented that popular website and has a reputation for being an agreeable human being — rare for the Internet — we were interested in his parting words. Here are some of them.
Wonkette email operative “Bob,” like many Americans, has received an email claiming that Obama is a Muslim, a.k.a. Not American. These patriotic emails are the only way to stop the Obama Conspiracy that threatens to Blackify our government. But Bob, most likely a Liberal, was not so sure he wanted to accept the email as […]
OMG Obama’s first general election ad. In case the reality of this election hasn’t fully sunk in for you yet, this ad should do it: every second of the next 4.5 months will be Barack Obama trying to convince old white Democratic-leaning voters in western Pennsylvania that he doesn’t want to blow up their houses […]