Tag Archives: muslim

  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: We Are Illiterate Illegal Parasites In Prison. Science Fact!

Haha, 'COORS'
Since Disqus has brought us a bunch of new commenters (Hi! Welcome To The Monkeyhouse! Play nice!), we’d just like to ‘splain why we moderate comments in the first place, instead of allowing unfettered Free Speach: It’s because we are big believers in the First Amendment, which gives us the right to run our little mommyblog/recipe hub/Pony appreciation society however the hell we want to. It’s our parlor, and if we choose not to invite someone in because they’re intent on muddying up the carpet and shitting on the credenza, or even if we don’t like their Gadsden Flag t-shirt, that’s our business. Don’t like it? Do some Free Enterprise and offer the Editrix an obscene amount of money to buy the site so you can change how things work. (We hear she’ll only sell if the staff get some pretty impressive golden parachutes.) Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: We Are Illiterate Illegal Parasites In Prison. Science Fact!…
  Must Be A Day Ending In Y

Literally Every Sentence David Brooks Says About Paris Shootings Is Wrong (VIDEO)

David Brooks Is Wrong
Sometimes David Brooks says things that are true or correct. However, this does not occur in the above clip from Meet the Press, a popular television fiasco. Not even once! Can we divide David Brooks’ clump of TV words into complete sentences and explain why each of them is wrong? We can. Read more on Literally Every Sentence David Brooks Says About Paris Shootings Is Wrong (VIDEO)…
  Taitz Necessarily So

Orly Taitz Pretty Sure George Clooney’s Hot Lawyer Wife Will Finally Prove Obama Isn’t President

If only I could find some loon with a really hopeless, arguably insane claim...
Excellent news! Birther Hivemind Queen Mother Orly Taitz got a gift subscription to People Magazine for Christmas! That’s the only thing we think could possibly explain this bizarre story from Bradlee Dean’s dumb website for dumb people: For some reason, the completely rational and very serious lawyer, dentist, real estate agent, and perennial fringe political candidate has gotten it into her head that she should try to recruit Amal Alamuddin Clooney, the hot human rights lawyer who married actor George Clooney last fall, into her very important campaign to prove that Barack Hussein Obama is a complete fraud with a stolen Social Security number, a fake Selective Service registration, and at least one Yahoo email account registered under the phony identity of “John Boehner’s Left Nut.” Read more on Orly Taitz Pretty Sure George Clooney’s Hot Lawyer Wife Will Finally Prove Obama Isn’t President…
  leave no soldier behind...unless obama hugs his dad

Allen West Pretty Sure Bowe Bergdahl’s Dad Made The White House A Mosque

OMG you guys! Disgraced former torturer Allen West, super-patriot and Muslim-Hunter extraordinaire, has been tipped off to some earth-shattering proof of Muslim perfidy and scary creeping — or galloping! — sharia law! After spending the weekend calling Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl a “deserter” and hinting that there’s something “nefarious” about his release from the Taliban, and about Bergdahl’s father, Bob Bergdahl (who apparently doesn’t hate Muslims enough at all), West has revealed a “bombshell”: Bob Bergdahl spoke Arabic at the White House! Not only that, but he pretty much made the White House a holy Muslim shrine by doing that, according to a very smart person who emailed Allen West. Read more on Allen West Pretty Sure Bowe Bergdahl’s Dad Made The White House A Mosque…
  time's a wastin'

Megyn Kelly Wishes Mitch McConnell Would Stop Being So Shiftless And Impeach Obama Already

We have said this before and we will say it again. We do not actually think Megyn Kelly is dumb. Well, we think she is dumb in the sort of way we think leggings worn as pants are dumb, which is to say we think they shouldn’t exist. But we do not think Megyn Kelly lacks IQ points, although that conviction was shaken recently when she definitively declared the race of an entirely fictional being to be white because duh, Santa, white. All that said, we’re getting a little tiny bit worried about old Megyn, because she now seems to be losing brain cells at an alarming rate like the guy in Flowers for Algernon,along with a corresponding rise in the sort of bullyboy thinking that Fox specializes in. Witness Monday’s impeachment chat with Mitch McConnell (R-Turtle). Read more on Megyn Kelly Wishes Mitch McConnell Would Stop Being So Shiftless And Impeach Obama Already…
  luntz it up

Are You On The NYPD’s List Of ‘Demographic Americans’? Are You Brown? Then Yes!

Fun fact: after 9/11, the NYPD created something called  a “demographics unit,” devoted to spending time in South Asian and Middle Eastern neighborhoods in New York, New Haven, and various neighborhoods in New Jersey  under the supervision of a CIA agent who worked closely with another former CIA agent hired by the NYPD shortly after 9/11. But don’t worry, the NYPD/CIA officers don’t spy on anyone or anything; they “just” go to mosques so they can “know what they are saying,” and sometimes spend hours in halal markets, bookstores, barbershops, gyms, and restaurants, writing down detailed logs of conversations wherein participants express concern about drone strike frequency in Pakistan, for example, or the ongoing occupation of Afghanistan. What? Using the CIA to spy on Americans is illegal, you say?  And targeting Americans based on their ethnic or racial characteristics violates the 14th Amendment? First of all, you have a pre-9/11 mindset. And second, they aren’t spying on regular Americans, they are spying on demographic Americans, who are probably up to no good anyways. This is why it is TOTALLY not like when the NYPD had a “black desk” in the ’60s to spy on African Americans: Read more on Are You On The NYPD’s List Of ‘Demographic Americans’? Are You Brown? Then Yes!…
  wasn't me!

Hero Taxi Passenger Totally Did Not Fracture That Muslim Cabbie’s Jaw, On Tape

Say you are an Iraq War vet, an Army reservist, and you are also Muslim, and you are driving your taxi around Washington, DC. Those things are bad enough. Please do not compound your crimes against America by lying about getting your jaw fractured by a hardworking churchgoing family man who totally did not scream obscenities about Muslims for 12 minutes before punching you in the face, on tape. [Ed] Dahlberg’s attorney, Demetry Pikrallidas, said Dahlberg did not assault [Mohamed] Salim. And there you have it! CASE CLOSED. Read more on Hero Taxi Passenger Totally Did Not Fracture That Muslim Cabbie’s Jaw, On Tape…
  take a peakey at leakey

Not-Muslim Mitt Romney Receives Valuable Bigotry And Endorsement From Texas Church

Teeny-tiny little “non-denominational” (FUCKIN’ CHRISTIAN, BOY) Church in the Valley of Leakey, Texas, has a new sign up welcoming everyone but Barack Obama. The sign reads, “Vote for the Mormon, not the Muslim! The capitalist, not the communist!” That marquee standing outside a non-denominational church has become the talk of the town in Leakey — about 90 miles northwest of San Antonio. The Church in the Valley is run by Pastor Ray Miller. Miller declined an interview but did say the sign was solely his idea. He said he changes the sign weekly and this isn’t the first bold statement to be displayed. The pastor said he feels strongly about the upcoming presidential election and feels the message on the marquee speaks for itself. Yes, in that it says, quite loudly, “I do not want my tax exemption any more and am also a terrible dinner companion.” Read more on Not-Muslim Mitt Romney Receives Valuable Bigotry And Endorsement From Texas Church…
  barry can you hear me?

Barack Obama Broke An Intern’s Heart

Barack Hussein Obama is the greatest president in the history of ever, and those who do not show him adequate fealty are instantly thrown into the Den of Despair (i.e., Joe Biden’s hamper full of dirty boxer briefs.) Let us journey now into Wonkette’s very own “Week in Review”-esque weekly review of our Dear Leader’s activities, “Barry Can You Hear Me?” As per usual, our guide shall be Official White House Videographer Arun Riefenstahl-Chaudhary’s weekly afterschool special/snuff film, West Wing Week. Read more on Barack Obama Broke An Intern’s Heart…
  america's greatest pundits

IF BILL CLINTON WAS BLACK, THEN HOW IS OBAMA NOT MUSLIM? A real winner in the Moonie Times op-ed section today. We reach Absolute Zero by only the end of the second paragraph: “The man now happy to have his Islamic-rooted middle name featured prominently has engaged in the most consequential bait-and-switch since Adolf Hitler duped Neville Chamberlain over Czechoslovakia at Munich.” Swish. [Washington Times] Read more on …
  kind of anticlimactic

Liveblogging Part CLXXVI: The Fox News Depressfest

It could happen in this next half-hour. “It” being, hmm, a big hedge fund collapses? Oh no, that wouldn’t be real news. “It,” of course, meaning conclusive evidence that you dumb college liberals have succeeded in getting some Muslim ACORN guy into the White House. “Nice.” When (IF!) this becomes official, there’s only one channel we want to watch: Fox News. We expect sobbing racial tirades. Read more on Liveblogging Part CLXXVI: The Fox News Depressfest…
  adult retarded children

Colorado GOP Senate Candidate’s Son Has Funny Racist Facebook Page

The political children, the children are idiots. Colorado Republican Senate candidate Bob Schaffer has a son, you see, and he is 19 years old and in trouble for putting funny images on his Facebook page, like one that shows a picture of the three pyramids in Egypt with the caption, “Slavery Gets Shit Done.” Well, it’s true, right? Do you think people owned other human beings so they could watch them flop around all day? He also has a bunch of pictures of Barack Obama as a Muslim. Well, it’s true, right? Read more on Colorado GOP Senate Candidate’s Son Has Funny Racist Facebook Page…
  bums

Ooh, Someone’s Too Good For Real America?

Four-year-old lazy greaseball European gay Himmler-phile Barack Obama continues to be too effete for the United States. He just got back from his stupid trip to Nowheresville, Iraq and pinko Europe and he’s already planning another trip out of the country — this time to “Hawaii,” the main island of Indonesia, where he grew up as a Muslim with pineapples as his only loser friends. From the Washington Post: “Sen. Barack Obama, preparing for the Democratic National Convention and the long march to November, plans to spend about a week in Hawaii in mid-August, mostly on vacation.” We look forward to Maureen Dowd’s interpretation of this on… well whatever day her weird column comes out. [WP/The Trail] Read more on Ooh, Someone’s Too Good For Real America?…
  i am aware of all internet traditions

Internet Wisdom For Your Holiday Weekend

Our pretend buddy and former colleague Will Leitch left the sports blog Deadspin last week. As he invented that popular website and has a reputation for being an agreeable human being — rare for the Internet — we were interested in his parting words. Here are some of them. Read more on Internet Wisdom For Your Holiday Weekend…
  nation of retards

How The Obama Smear Email People Respond When Confronted With Elite Facts

Wonkette email operative “Bob,” like many Americans, has received an email claiming that Obama is a Muslim, a.k.a. Not American. These patriotic emails are the only way to stop the Obama Conspiracy that threatens to Blackify our government. But Bob, most likely a Liberal, was not so sure he wanted to accept the email as truth, so he replied to the sender that Obama is not a Muslim, and if he were a Muslim that would be acceptable. For this, Bob received the reply, “whatever, he’s not american, white or black……” Despite the authoritative double ellipsis, “Arugula Bob” still couldn’t understand. And that prompted a longer response from the Smearer to Bob, which we have copy-pasted below the jump. Read more on How The Obama Smear Email People Respond When Confronted With Elite Facts…
  campaign ads

Can Barack Obama Convince A Single White Person To Like Him?

OMG Obama’s first general election ad. In case the reality of this election hasn’t fully sunk in for you yet, this ad should do it: every second of the next 4.5 months will be Barack Obama trying to convince old white Democratic-leaning voters in western Pennsylvania that he doesn’t want to blow up their houses in the name of Allah and/or O.J. Simpson. This election will literally be about that and nothing else. [YouTube] Read more on Can Barack Obama Convince A Single White Person To Like Him?…
 

Obama’s Birth Certificate Claims He Was ‘Born’ At Some Point

Famous blogger Markos “Kos” of the Daily Kos liberal website claims that this is Barack Obama’s birth certificate, which he obtained by asking the campaign. As you can see, it is clearly false: his race is not “African” as this crap-ument suggests, it is “Muslim,” and the Wingnuts live another day. [Daily Kos] Read more on Obama’s Birth Certificate Claims He Was ‘Born’ At Some Point…
 

SEE WHERE TERRORISM/ISLAM WAS BORN

Gah! Press e-mails have rarely been this good, and for that we will do specifically what Inside Edition wants us to do: Please watch Inside Edition‘s exclusive footage of Obama’s terrorist “mosques” (HOUSES) in Indonesia where he lived from age 6- 10, Monday, May 5 and Tuesday, May 6, 2008, check your local listings. If that doesn’t get you giddy, then this teaser surely will: “Madewa tells INSIDE EDITION that Obama enjoyed playing Monopoly and was very competitive at the game. He also tells INSIDE EDITION that Obama was an avid kite flyer.” Was Madewa like his Muslim slave or something? Read more on SEE WHERE TERRORISM/ISLAM WAS BORN…