Tag: murder

Sounds like he needs to SPLAIN some things to his campaign.

Nice Grandpa Bernie Sanders Gonna BURN YOUR SH*T DOWWWWWN

If you were waiting for Bernie Sanders to release a statement on the clusterfuck that was the Nevada state Democratic convention, hooray! He has done so! If you were waiting for Bernie Sanders to release a statement telling his...

Roger Stone Ready For Hillary’s Death Squads, Thanks To Alex Jones’s Trucker Speed!

Trump's favorite dirty trickster, Roger Stone, will just pop two of these beauties and see you in the morning. If Hillary Clinton doesn't MURDER HIM FIRST.
Everybody Must Get Stoned

Jesus Pals Disagree On Which Whores To Stone, Just Kidding No They Don’t

Donald Trump's suggestion last week that of course there have to be criminal penalties for women who have abortions -- even after he tried to walk it back -- has caused no small amount of consternation among the Religious...
This aggression against our nuts will not stand, man

Charming Oregon Militia Dudes Totally Harmless, Except For The Murderer Maybe

What up, revolutionary white dudes camped out in Oregon? You still doing that or did you run out of vegan jerky and that one granola bar? Oh, you are still doing that. Maybe you're enjoying all those free sex toys. That's...

Planned Parenthood Shooter Did It For The Babies, Let’s Ban Pro-Lifers From America

The most recent lone wolf to attack a Planned Parenthood, killing three and wounding nine others, appeared in court in Colorado on Wednesday to face murder charges, and yeah, Robert L. Dear is pretty proud of hisself: I am guilty there will...

Surprise! Planned Parenthood Shooter Super Into Jesus, Adultery, Lady-Beating

You'll be shocked to learn the charming fella charged with murdering some folks at a Colorado Planned Parenthood has a long history of being being a raging evangelical anti-choice lady-beating kid-abandoning poop pile. We'll give you a moment to collect yourselves from...
Not nearly as stupid as everything he says

Ted Cruz Condemns Unladylike Actions Of Planned Parenthood Terrorist

Surprise! Ted Cruz said another stupid thing, this time about the shooting at the Colorado Springs Planned Parenthood. Asked about reports that the alleged killer, Robert L. Dear, had told police "No more baby parts," which suggests he might have...
Maybe instead of gun control we need cop control...

Louisiana Cops Who Killed Autistic Six-Year-Old Might Be Very Bad Men

In our story last week on the fatal police shooting of six-year-old Jeremy Mardis in Marksville, Louisiana, we briefly mentioned a line from a CBS News story: "Investigators are looking into whether one of the marshals had a personal...
Pastor Steven Anderson doing his best impression of "death metal." Ayup.

Shame How Ironic Band Name Murdered All Those Parisians :(

This is a song by the band Eagles Of Death Metal, whose Paris show Friday night at the Bataclan was interrupted by thug terrorists murdering people: Now, be truthful. If you had NO IDEA WHO THEY WERE, how many seconds...
Bet those kids can't wait to get back to the sun, sand, and occasional automatic weapons fire. Oh, and the rapes.

GOP Senator: Sure, Kids Deported To Honduras Might Die, But It’s So Pretty There

Remember how all those children were "invading" our southern border from Central America last year, and it was the greatest crisis America ever faced, until some guy in Texas had Ebola? Well it turns out that a lot of...
Same as it ever was.

America Hears Pope’s Words On Death Penalty, Gets Back To Killing Folks ASAP

We're mad at New Pope at the moment, for having a secret Jesus tryst with Kim Davis where he reportedly told her she was some kind of freedom fighter, for refusing to do her job. But one thing everybody...
Nothing classes up the joint like a top hat and monocle

Deleted Comments Of The Week: This Is Clearly A Homo-Sexual Web-Page

What a week! Our Deleted Comments queue fairly groans with vast loads of deleted idiocy, and yet, we find ourselves facing quite the conundrum: While we had enormous numbers of deleted comments, not many of them were really all...
Oh, fine. Begin the recitation of stupidity.

Gays, Abortions, Blacks, Oh My! Your Virginia Shooting Tragedy Bingo

Wonder why bad things happen to good people? We've been scanning the dregs of the wingnuttosphere since Roanoke TV journalists Alison Parker and Adam Ward were shot to death while doing a routine interview Wednesday, and you'll be astonished...
Their loved ones ask that they be remembered alive and smiling.

How We Will Not Be Talking About The Murder Of Two Virginia Reporters

This is what we will tell you about the two young TV journalists for Virginia station WDBJ who were shot to death on Wednesday, on air. Reporter Alison Parker had just turned 24, and had celebrated her birthday with her colleague...
Two more beneficiaries of unrestricted access to firearms

TV Reporter And Cameraman Shot To Death On Air, Because America

A Virginia TV reporter and cameraman were shot dead on live TV while reporting in Moneta, Virginia, Wednesday morning, and it is definitely too soon to suggest that maybe all the guns floating around the nation are in any way...
My Little Pony: Friendship is a Plot to Take Away Our Liberty

Deleted Comments Of The Week: Guy Who Murdered Kids Only A Distraction From Planned Parenthood’s Crimes!

Our piece last week on the nice North Carolina dad who was an ardent Open Carry enthusiast (and whose Facebook page was full of pro-gun, anti-Obama, and anti-Muslim messages) who shot his two preschool-aged sons to death drew the...