Tag Archives: murder

  Clintongate

National Review: But What About The Clintons’ Underage Sex Slaves And Russian Blackmail?

She's coming for YOU. And YOU. And YOU.
Conservatives have yet to uncover The Scandal that will, once and for all and forever, destroy history’s greatest monsters, Bill and Hillary Clinton. Not for lack of trying — for decades, with a bazillionteen dollars, and an army of rightwing organizations dedicated to inspecting every scrap of toilet paper that ever wiped a Clinton’s butthole. And not without the aid of the media, even the “liberal” media like the New York Times, always happy to imply that if the Clintons drew a breath, it was perhaps illegal, immoral, unethical, or too horrifically X-rated to explain to the children. Read more on National Review: But What About The Clintons’ Underage Sex Slaves And Russian Blackmail?…
  Assholes on Parade

People Are Finally Going To Jail For Iraq War Crimes. No, Really!

Four Blackwater mercenaries were sentenced Monday for the 2007 massacre of 17 unarmed Iraqi civilians in Nisour Square, with three of the thugs getting 30-year sentences and their leader getting a full life in prison, which as of today makes them the only people to have gone to jail for the clusterfuck of horror that was the Iraq War. Small victory? It might have seemed like a slam dunk case for just about anyone who has ever even heard of the word “murder,” but would you like to learn all about how the Bush administration tried their absolute hardest to fuck it all up? Let’s Wonksplore. Read more on People Are Finally Going To Jail For Iraq War Crimes. No, Really!…
  He May Not Have Thought This One Through

Murder Of 3 Muslims Was Hate Crime Against Christians, Says Nutbag Christian

Retroactive Christians
Never one to miss the chance to make a tragedy just a little more awful, Colorado wingnut preacher/state legislator Gordon “Disgraced former chaplain ‘Dr. Chaps'” Klingenschmitt has decided that the terrible murder of three Muslim students in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, proves that Christians are in mortal danger in U.S. America. Read more on Murder Of 3 Muslims Was Hate Crime Against Christians, Says Nutbag Christian…
  People Are Horrible: An Ongoing Series

Idiot Atheist Murders Three Muslim Students In NC; Conservatives Are Greatest Victims

Retroactive Christians
Congratulations, America, we have a whole new terrible murder to turn into a debating point in the Culture Wars! And just to mix things up a bit, the victims were three Muslim students (all of them apparently smart over-achievers who should have had beautiful lives ahead of them), and the accused killer is described variously as an “atheist,” a “radical atheist,” or a “crazed progressive atheist.” Read more on Idiot Atheist Murders Three Muslim Students In NC; Conservatives Are Greatest Victims…
  Revised Revisionist History

Fox Knows Who Is To Blame For Ferguson Riots (It’s Still Eric Holder Obvs)

They just can't seem to quit him
Fox News wasted no time in repackaging the news that the Justice Department is not expected to file civil rights charges against Darren Wilson in the killing of Michael Brown, according to a report in the New York Times, into an astonishingly distorted pack of lies about Ferguson. Yes, we know you’re shocked. Read more on Fox Knows Who Is To Blame For Ferguson Riots (It’s Still Eric Holder Obvs)…
  Cold Dead Hands

Gun Roundup: The State Of Our Union’s Gun Nuts Is Stupid As Ever

As gun ownership becomes more about making a half-baked political statement predicated on paranoid delusions and industry propaganda, and less about practical matters like hunting and home defense, it stands to reason that gun owners themselves would display an ever-diminishing quotient of common sense. This is just a theory, but damned if the facts on the ground don’t support it. WITNESS: Read more on Gun Roundup: The State Of Our Union’s Gun Nuts Is Stupid As Ever…
  Are You Afraid Enough? Please Be More Afraid

America Turns To Wingnuts For Comfort, Wisdom On Paris Attacks

Nous ne sommes pas étonnés
So it looks like the search for the murderers of 12 people at the Paris offices of Charlie Hebdo has come to its bloody end, with all the terrorists dead and four hostages killed in an attack on a kosher supermarket in Paris. As usual in these situations (and can we all just pause for a moment and be horrified that we know what’s “usual” in a terrorist attack?), a lot of the details are still not yet certain. But while we’re still learning the details, it’s definitely not too soon to move to the vital important next phase: explaining how the events in Paris fit into American culture-war politics, especially the all-important question of What To Do About All The Muslims. Read more on America Turns To Wingnuts For Comfort, Wisdom On Paris Attacks…
  Secrets And Lies

Grand Juror Thinks Ferguson Prosecutor Should Eat A Bag Of Dicks

We concur. Lightly salted rat dicks are called for in this case
You may find this very hard to believe, but it looks like we haven’t heard the final word on the grand jury’s decision not to indict Officer Darren Wilson in the killing of Mike Brown in Ferguson, Missouri. Even though Sean Hannity and the rest of the Fox “News” legal team told us that Darren Wilson had been proven innocent by a flawless grand jury process! Read more on Grand Juror Thinks Ferguson Prosecutor Should Eat A Bag Of Dicks…
  Our Cold Dead Hands

This White Lady In Body Armor Shot All Her Neighbors And Lived To Tell! Your Gun Fun Holiday Roundup!

awwwwwww
Time for another of our periodic check-ins with the good guys what carry guns and keep us safe from tyranny with their steadfast devotion to Responsible Gun Ownership. First off, we have an inspiring tale from Texas, where Friend of Liberty Martin Gaytan regularly posted about his love of guns on Facebook, including a June repost of this inspiring and irrefutable case for why every American needs a gun: Read more on This White Lady In Body Armor Shot All Her Neighbors And Lived To Tell! Your Gun Fun Holiday Roundup!…
  'Truth' And 'Lies' Are Such Judgmental Terms

Ferguson Prosecutor: Sure, I Sent Liars To Grand Jury. That’s A Problem Now?

We concur. Lightly salted rat dicks are called for in this case
On Friday, St. Louis County Prosecuting Attorney Robert McCulloch spoke publicly about the grand jury process for the first time since November, when he announced that the grand jury had found officer Darren Wilson a swell guy. He also admitted that he knew that some of the witnesses he put before the grand jury were lying and obviously couldn’t have seen what they claimed. “There were people who came in and, yes, absolutely lied under oath,” he said, and seemed perfectly OK with that, actually. Here’s the full interview: Read more on Ferguson Prosecutor: Sure, I Sent Liars To Grand Jury. That’s A Problem Now?…
  so we're all good then right?

Judge Exonerates 14-Year-Old Black Boy 70 Years Later. Execution Harder To Reverse

Remember, America has nothing to apologize for. It was a long time ago. Robert Byrd was in the KKK. The NAACP are the real racists. This is just a distraction from Benghazi.
A South Carolina judge has thrown out the 1944 murder conviction of George Stinney Jr., who had been convicted of murdering two young white girls whose heads were smashed with something like a railroad spike. Stinney, 14 years old, was tried in two hours and found guilty after ten minutes of deliberation — by an all-white jury, of course — and sentenced to death. It was a model of speedy justice, Jim Crow style, summarized here by The Washington Post’s Lindsey Bever: Read more on Judge Exonerates 14-Year-Old Black Boy 70 Years Later. Execution Harder To Reverse…
  what comes around goes around

Murder Is Illegal (Even In Montana)

Kaarma Is A Bitch
A Missoula, Montana jury found Markus Kaarma guilty of deliberate homicide, just for killing German exchange student Diren Dede in a carefully laid trap. Even though he used a gun, like a good American Patriot™, AND the kid was ON HIS PROPERTY (CASTLE DOCTRINE! ARGLE BARGLE!). We understand if you missed this one, as it got buried beneath an onslaught of terrible gun murder news. Read more on Murder Is Illegal (Even In Montana)…
  Taxed To Death (Plus Some Asphyxiation)

Rand Paul Explains How Taxes Murdered Eric Garner

He's got nothin' ... yet
As we’ve noted before about Rand Paul, he’s a big-picture guy. He doesn’t get bogged down too much in nuances when he can instead find the Important Libertarian Principle in any situation. He approaches every possible topic as if it were a late-night debate in a dorm room, which is how he can equate “not deporting people” with “putting people in internment camps” with a straight face, because both are examples of “executive overreach.” Read more on Rand Paul Explains How Taxes Murdered Eric Garner…
 

Missouri KKK Just Thrilled To Bits About Coming Ferguson Race War

DC stands with Ferguson
A Missouri-based affiliate of the Ku Klux Klan is circulating a clumsily designed flier vowing to “use lethal force as provided under Missouri Law to defend ourselves” from “terrorists masquerading as ‘peaceful protestors,'” reports Vice News. Here’s the “document”: Read more on Missouri KKK Just Thrilled To Bits About Coming Ferguson Race War…
  Bending Toward Justice

Oh How Sad, Michael Dunn Is Going To Prison For Life. Wait, Did We Say ‘Sad’?

Lucia McBath & her son, Jordan Davis (1995-20120
Michael Dunn, convicted last month for the murder of 17-year-old Jordan Davis, was sentenced today to life in prison with no chance of parole. Since prosecutors did not seek the death penalty in Dunn’s first-degree murder trial, the conviction carried a mandatory life sentence. Judge Russell Healey told the would be ground-stander: Read more on Oh How Sad, Michael Dunn Is Going To Prison For Life. Wait, Did We Say ‘Sad’?…
  Slop Goes The Needle

Looks Like It’s Time To Execute Another Mentally Ill Guy, For Justice

Not sure this makes a point about the story -- mostly just wanted to execute a Lego figure.
We know you’re all sick of Ebola and ISIS, so here’s a pick-me-up: Texas is fixing to execute Scott Pannetti, who is so disconnected from reality that he buried a sofa and other furniture in his yard because he was sure the Devil was in it. He murdered his in-laws in 1992, in front of his estranged wife and infant daughter — his wife had left him two years earlier, after he threatened her with a cavalry sword. He turned himself in to the police and explained the killing was the fault of “Sarge,” one of the people in his hallucinations. By the time of the killings, Panetti had been “diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, delusions, auditory hallucinations, and manic depression, and had been hospitalized 14 times.” Read more on Looks Like It’s Time To Execute Another Mentally Ill Guy, For Justice…
  All The Derp What's Fit To Herp

Derp Roundup: Yes, Stevie Wonder Truthers Are A Thing

Ebony And Irony
Oh, golly, it’s time for another Derp Roundup, a chance for us to bring you some of the stories that were just too damned stupid to ignore altogether, but which didn’t quite merit a post of their own. You may want a good stiff serving of the reality-amending chemical compounds of your choice before you expose yourself to this stuff. Read more on Derp Roundup: Yes, Stevie Wonder Truthers Are A Thing…
  Maybe An Upright Jury Would Be Better

Ferguson Grand Jury About As Fair And Impartial As You’d Expect

We don't even care that this came from an animal liberation blog. That's one funny sign
Just in case you were worried that the investigation into the shooting of Michael Brown in Ferguson, Missouri, wasn’t a great enough fuckpile, here’s one extra little nugget to increase everyone’s confidence that justice will be done: the Washington Post reports that the Grand Jury hearing the case against Officer Darren Wilson is being investigated for possible juror misconduct. Ed Magee, spokesman for St. Louis County prosecutor Robert McCulloch, confirmed that the prosecutor’s office is “looking into” reports that one of the jurors has been talking to friends about the case, which is a definite no-no and could require that an entirely new grand jury be empaneled. It’s very sad, considering how much McCulloch has done to inspire confidence in the community already. Read more on Ferguson Grand Jury About As Fair And Impartial As You’d Expect…
  Justice in the first degree

Florida Jury Finally Finds Murderer Michael Dunn Guilty Of Murder

The guy on the right? He's the murderer
In November 2012, racist scumbag Michael Dunn killed 17-year-old Jordan Davis. Dunn claimed that Davis and his friends were rudely (read: blackly) playing their music too loud, and when he ever-so-politely asked them to turn it down a bit, the poor defenseless Dunn, who was armed, was scared for his life because BLACK and also he saw a gun, except that he did not because the only gun was his. Still, being afraid for his life because BLACK, he fired off 10 rounds into the SUV of unarmed teenagers, killing Davis, and then going to a motel with his girlfriend to eat some pizza, as one does after killing a black teenager. If one is a thug and a murderer. Read more on Florida Jury Finally Finds Murderer Michael Dunn Guilty Of Murder…
  Head Games

Oklahoma Jihad Update: Please Be More Afraid. You Are Not Afraid Enough Yet

A sneakiy new tactic to blend in
On Friday, we brought you the story of a horrific murder committed in Moore, Oklahoma. Alton Nolen, a man who was fired from his job at a produce processing plant, killed one woman and injured a second, and now the wingnuttosphere is in a tizzy about jihad in Oklahoma, because Nolen was said by co-workers to have tried, unsuccessfully, to convince others to convert. Therefore, in the minds of top thinkers like Pam Geller and Jim Hoft, the Stupidest Man on the Internet, Nolen’s rampage is the inevitable result of Islam, and anyone who thinks this was merely “workplace violence” is willfully blind to the reality of the Muslim Threat. See, for instance this bit of screaming from Hoft today: Read more on Oklahoma Jihad Update: Please Be More Afraid. You Are Not Afraid Enough Yet…