Tag: murder

Male Judge In Stupid Shitty Home Depot Sex Harasser Decision Should Not Worry His Pretty Head About It

Supervisor tells employee that he will fire her if she doesn't come with him to hotel room, where he rapes and murders her. Company very sorry her 'date' didn't turn out well.

Gay Drunk Racist Tulsa Man Murders Lebanese Neighbor, Nothing To See Here

A Tulsa man has been charged with murdering his next-door neighbor because he was from Lebanon. Yes, in the USA in 2016.
My Sharia more

Oklahoma Spending All Its Natty Ice Money Investigating ‘Threat Of Islam.’ Yes, In Oklahoma

An Oklahoma legislator wants to spend taxpayer money to determine how big a threat radical Islamic terrorists pose to the Sooner State. 'Not Much.' There, now he can refund the state treasury.
At least this time it wasn't in a bag on fire

Russian Spies Pooped On U.S. Diplomat’s Carpet, Which Really Tied The Room Together Man

International relations took a gross turn this week: the Washington Post's Josh Rogin reports on a Russian campaign of harassment and intimidation against American diplomats in Moscow and eastern Europe. There's some pretty scary shit going on, from the...
This is an ex-parte! Err, parrot!

Parrot Pining For The Witness Box, May Provide Evidence In Michigan Murder Case

A foul-mouthed African grey parrot named Bud might be entered into evidence in a Michigan murder trial, maybe. Probably not, but maybe. Bud may have overheard the murder of his owner, Martin Duram, in 2015, and since shortly after...

British Member Of Parliament Jo Cox Murdered; American Gun Nuts Have A Good Larf

Jo Cox, a member of Parliament, has been murdered. Americans who love their guns are excited by the chance to point out that British gun control laws can't stop every murder, so obviously laws are worthless.
Older siblings always seem a little weird

Mental Health Professional Thinks Someone Programmed Him To Murder. Could It Be … Satan???

The Satanic Temple, the first-amendment trolls who've answered government endorsements of religion with calls for Satanic coloring books in schools, have branched out into fighting some very real, very damaging pseudoscience.

Fox News Doc Wishes Facebook Loved America Instead Of Murder

Dr. Keith Ablow has thoughts. They are bad thoughts.

Supreme Court Rules Prosecutors Must Hide Racism More Effectively In Death Penalty Cases

The U.S. Supreme Court decided Monday that the Constitution only allows racial bias in jury selection when it's a lot more subtle than that practiced by a Georgia prosecutor's office 29 years ago. The court overturned the conviction and...
Sounds like he needs to SPLAIN some things to his campaign.

Nice Grandpa Bernie Sanders Gonna BURN YOUR SH*T DOWWWWWN

If you were waiting for Bernie Sanders to release a statement on the clusterfuck that was the Nevada state Democratic convention, hooray! He has done so! If you were waiting for Bernie Sanders to release a statement telling his...

Roger Stone Ready For Hillary’s Death Squads, Thanks To Alex Jones’s Trucker Speed!

Trump's favorite dirty trickster, Roger Stone, will just pop two of these beauties and see you in the morning. If Hillary Clinton doesn't MURDER HIM FIRST.
Everybody Must Get Stoned

Jesus Pals Disagree On Which Whores To Stone, Just Kidding No They Don’t

Donald Trump's suggestion last week that of course there have to be criminal penalties for women who have abortions -- even after he tried to walk it back -- has caused no small amount of consternation among the Religious...
This aggression against our nuts will not stand, man

Charming Oregon Militia Dudes Totally Harmless, Except For The Murderer Maybe

What up, revolutionary white dudes camped out in Oregon? You still doing that or did you run out of vegan jerky and that one granola bar? Oh, you are still doing that. Maybe you're enjoying all those free sex toys. That's...

Planned Parenthood Shooter Did It For The Babies, Let’s Ban Pro-Lifers From America

The most recent lone wolf to attack a Planned Parenthood, killing three and wounding nine others, appeared in court in Colorado on Wednesday to face murder charges, and yeah, Robert L. Dear is pretty proud of hisself: I am guilty there will...

Surprise! Planned Parenthood Shooter Super Into Jesus, Adultery, Lady-Beating

You'll be shocked to learn the charming fella charged with murdering some folks at a Colorado Planned Parenthood has a long history of being being a raging evangelical anti-choice lady-beating kid-abandoning poop pile. We'll give you a moment to collect yourselves from...