Secessionist Mule-Raping Georgia Governor Candidate Would Also Kill Own Son, For Liberty
Friday, May 1st, 2009
Georgia gubernatorial candidate Neal Horsley, a.k.a. “The One,” wants to secede from America because of the liberals. This charming fellow made headlines a few years ago when he got into an argument with Alan Colmes, who simply couldn’t understand why Horsley would fuck the shit out of mules. (”Welcome to domestic life on the farm… If it’s warm and it’s damp and it vibrates, you might in fact have sex with it.”) And now, in an interview with Raw Story Dylan Otto Krider, Horsley says he would kill his son in a secessionist rebellion, because hey, WAR IS HELL (and also he almost killed him once before in a dumb argument, ha). MORE »











CAPTION CONTEST! See who writes the drollest of captions! Winner gets to be brutally murdered by Barack Obama. [
Here is an image of the much-anticipated explosion on the Potomac River today that was filmed for some new teevee pilot. It was still confusing to D.C. residents even though they had been
THIS IS ALL ANYBODY USED TO CARE ABOUT: “An imprisoned Salvadoran immigrant has been charged with the 2001 murder of a former U.S. government intern, a case that helped end a California congressman’s career, police and prosecutors said on Tuesday.” [
A nut in a World War II Nazi military uniform aims his bayonet-tipped rifle at Seattle cops and is shot dead. A distraught guy fires a gun in the air from his garage and three Los Angeles police cut him down. An angry old Colorado ski bum plots an epic four-pronged terror attack on the rich people of Aspen, but he shoots himself in his Jeep Cherokee before detonating the four bombs. Across the country, wrecked Americans chose to go completely insane on New Year’s. Welcome to 2009. It’s going to be awful. 
Barack Obama’s “ancestors” in the quaint town of Kogelo, Kenya, deign to slaughter this beast if their favorite Luo Tribesman wins the U.S. presidential election. Now that the Bitters have more or less finished voting, everyone forward this post to every Bitter you know, along with scary comments like “THEY’RE COMING FOR YOU NEXT, BUBBA.” It will scare the shit out of them, ha ha. Do it. [