It’s nice to know that you can count on your friends. For instance, accused murderer Frazier Glenn Miller (or Frazier Glenn Cross, depending on which of his pseudonyms you like) has a good friend in Daniel Clevenger, the newly elected mayor of Marionville, Missouri. In an astonishingly unembarrassed chat with Springfield, Missouri, TV station KSPR, […]

We are now officially in the “Stupid people make us want to scream” portion of the Michael Dunn trial, when every moron possible will try to outdo the last. For starters, how about Florida state Rep. Matt Gaetz, who disagreed with the verdict and believes Dunn should have been found guilty of murder, but couldn’t […]

We have not been posting anything about the trial of Michael Dunn, the Responsible Gun Owner who shot 17-year-old Jordan Davis to death after an argument about loud music. Mostly because the story is depressing and really not funny. In November 2012, Dunn pulled into a Jacksonville, Florida, convenience store parking lot, got into an […]

We know we brought you a story today about an actually responsible gun owner — that nice Florida guy who communistically thinks other people’s backyard gun ranges should be as safely constructed as his. So now, of course, it’s time to balance that with another story of Our Well-Regulated Militia. This time out our Second […]

Hey, when we’re wrong, we’re wrong. And so it is that for the past 20 years (we were a VERY early adopter), when we asserted that gay marriage was awesome and anybody who had a problem with it was an unreconstructed bigot, and when we laughed — LAUGHED — at those who claimed gay marriage […]

The two former Fullerton, California, police officers accused of beating a homeless man to death were found not guilty on all charges Monday. The beating of Kelly Thomas, who suffered from schizophrenia, was captured on videotape, but an Orange County jury was not convinced by the prosecution’s case that the cops had acted excessively. Because […]

In case you were wondering what depths that monster Obama would sink to in order to promote his Hitlerian death panel scheme AKA Obamacare, wonder no more. Planned Parenthood, a beneficiary of federal tax dollars and the largest abortion provider in America, is now hooking up with actresses Scarlett Johansson, Aisha Tyler and Gabrielle Union […]

The Greek government has launched a crackdown on the neo-fascist Golden Dawn party, arresting its leader, three members of the Greek Parliament, and several other top members; they will be charged with forming a criminal organization. After Golden Dawn leader Nikos Michaloliakos was arrested, police said that three guns had been found in his home. […]

Oh, Pat Robertson. After giving us a confusing nice time about sex change operations, you had to go out and open your foul, putrid assface talkhole. We’re thankful to the folks at RightWingWatch for enlightening us about the wise words of St. Robertson of Dumbfuckville: Pat Robertson told co-host Terry Meeuwsen that gay men in […]

So, you may have heard about the awful murder of an Australian baseball player by three teens in Duncan, Oklahoma. The killers more or less admitted to killing Chris Lane for the fun of it as he was out for a jog. It’s sick and disgusting. But what’s really outrageous, according to Fox & Friends, […]

Pretty much everybody reacted with horror and disgust when that one juror in the Zimmerman trial went on a media blitz, said all sorts of awful things, and was shamed into silence, all within three days of the verdict. We all thought, “Oh, wow, with people like her on juries, we are SO SCREWED!” Remember? […]

It kind of sucks when a fun caper story takes a murdery turn, which is why The Italian Job — the 1969 original, thank you — was about stealing an armored truck full of gold, not about infiltrating a murderous heroin ring, which gives you a much darker movie. Which is our way of saying […]

Why does the Washington Post #WAR on Easter every year? Why does it forget that Jesus Is the Reason for the Season? We bet they even call it “spring break,” like a bunch of fucking pagan Wiccan lesbian abortionists, instead of Jesus Died For Your Sins And On The Third Day He Rose Again Vacation. […]

Meet Jerry Patterson! He is running for lieutenant governor of the great state of Texas, and he has some thoughts on why you should vote for him, and those thoughts are GUNS! GUNS! GUNS! GUNS! GUNS! GUNS! GUNS! GUNS! GUNS! GUNS! GUNS! GUNS! GUNS! GUNS! GUNS! GUNS! GUNS! Boy, does Jerry Patterson love guns! That […]

Hello Wonkette Trend Watchers! What have we in the world of trigger-happy madness today? It looks like America’s mania for shooting folks is showing no signs of abating. And people are so eager to hop on board this trend that the level of provocation considered acceptable grounds for gun-play is reaching new lows. They’re all […]