murder
Washington Post Does War On Easter Because It Hates Jesus, God
Why does the Washington Post #WAR on Easter every year? Why does it forget that Jesus Is the Reason for the Season? We bet they even call it “spring break,” like a bunch of fucking pagan Wiccan lesbian abortionists, instead of Jesus Died For Your Sins And On The Third Day He Rose Again Vacation. [...]
Great American Shooting Fad Continues: Take Two, Doggie Style
Hello Wonkette Trend Watchers! What have we in the world of trigger-happy madness today? It looks like America’s mania for shooting folks is showing no signs of abating. And people are so eager to hop on board this trend that the level of provocation considered acceptable grounds for gun-play is reaching new lows. They’re all [...]
Lindsey Graham: Murderess Hillary Clinton Got Away With Murder (Again)
Lindsey Graham, a United States Senator, thinks Hillary Clinton is murdering people (again). Not in a “I have flying robots coming to help you celebrate your wedding” way, because complaining about that would be libtarded, but in a MURDER way! Just like she did when she murdered Vince Foster and Joe Scarborough’s intern! Let us [...]
Wives! Can’t Live With ‘Em, Can Kill ‘Em, According to Charismatic ‘Ex’-Gay Christian-Orgy Cult Leader
Tyler Deaton is a handsome young man. He met his wife, Bethany, in prayer group at college. He was so charismatic that by his senior year, he’d convinced a bunch of hot dudes to leave the school-sanctioned Christian fellowship at Southwestern in Texas, and join him in Kansas City instead, so they could be close [...]
Rick Santorum Doesn’t Care If You Murder Your Tiny Little Unborn Baby
Smegma-lipped poutmonster Rick Santorum has declared what side he is on, and it is the side of murdering tiny little babies in their mommy’s stomachs. What? you are saying, because you have been paying some attention over the years as Rick Santorum has declared himself God’s handmaiden and apostle (both!) in the fight to make [...]
Koch Brothers’ Brother Builds Old-Timey Western Town In Which To Properly Go Galt
Hiyo, David and Charles Koch! You guys are weird, but there is a method to your madness: you want to buy Wisconsin, and the presidency, and so you do. (Ol’ Romney’s a pretty good ROI, huh boys?) But what’s your brother Bill’s dealio? On what crazy-ass thing is he spending his billions today? There’s a [...]
Gay? Murderer? The Telenovela Life of Mexican President-Elect Enrique Peña Nieto
The more we learn about Mexican president-elect Enrique Peña Nieto, the scarier things get. Behind the Pompadour and circumstance, there lurks a dark and nasty side to the pretty-boy president-to-be. First off, he’s a slut. Big deal. So was Bill Clinton (and John F. Kennedy, for that matter). But a slutty assassin and wife killer [...]
Beloved ‘Let’s Hurl Acid At Them Demcrat Gals’ Staffer Resigns
The dumbest political campaign spokesman in history has resigned, but why? Probably because he’s the dumbest political campaign spokesman in history, but more likely because of Reverse Sexism. When Jay Townsend, spokesperson for Rep. Nan Hayworth’s reelection campaign, said “Let’s hurl some acid at those female democratic Senators,” who was there to stand up for [...]
Mean Old Alan Simpson Not Done Yelling At Republicans
Here is the thing about the newest RINO, former Alan Simpson: back when he was Wyoming’s lone Congressman and then its senator, he was about as conservative as Republicans got — save a Jesse Helms here and an old Strom there. It’s not like he was ever Linc Chaffee, you dig? And now he’s so [...]
George Zimmerman’s View To A Pill
When Trayvon Martin was killed, it looked really bad for George Zimmerman until it was discovered that he was fighting the savage effects of a marijuana-fueled person of color. Little did Zimmerman know that the young man he was chasing was seeking weedemption for all of his terrorist pot smoking members who belong to a [...]
Operation Rescue Founder Randall Terry Invites Your Wonkette To Drink Beer, Murder Children
Oh that is nice, Randall Terry, the pro-life activist and “Democrat” who beat Obama in 242 percent of the Oklahoma Democratic primaries this year, has a new website, and he is inviting the “child-killers” at Your Wonkette (along with the cool dudes at RightWingWatch and the humorless nags at Jezzy) to come join him for [...]
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