* Reliable Source: The RS column is 15 years old… Lloyd Grove is unemployed, spends all of his time drinking gin and watching Judge Judy. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: John Kerry is the illegitimate son of Cookie Monster. Also, clearly high… Dan Berger: A lobbyist who paints! [Examiner]
* Washington Whispers: Hillary Clinton voted most Reagan-esque in poll. This, bizarrely, is a positive… Bill Clinton skipping Davos World Economic Forum to write book… Susan Collins gave Joe Lieberman a chocolate gavel, “Choo-choo choose you” valentine… Tom Vilsack doesn’t have time to read, skims first sentence of each paragraph, every other page. [USN&WR]
* Page Six: Al Gore sits on the board of Apple, who hate trees and the environment and shit. [NYP]

Liberal blogs are going crazy with joy over the utterly unsurprising snapshot of Jack Abramoff and George W. Bush that somebody posted somewhere on the Internets. MORE »

* Action Action at the Rock and Roll Hotel with Jonezetta, We Are The Fury and Maxeen. $12 at 8PM. [Rock and Roll Hotel]
* 1992’s The Muppet Christmas Carol at AFI. Michael Caine as Scrooge. You’ll cry. $9:50 at 5PM. [AFI]
* Akshay Narang, Alona and Erik Bradford at Galaxy Hut. Free. [Galaxy Hut on MySpace]