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MUTINY AND A BOUNTY  1:22 pm April 16, 2012

British Lord In Spot Of Bother After Putting $10 Million Bounty on Barack Obama’s Head

by Erik Jay

Lord Ahmed of Rotherham, a suspiciously Muslin-sounding Labour peer, was suspended last night after allegedly claiming he would put up a £10million bounty for the capture of Barack Obama, for pallin’ around with terrists and also for putting up a $10 million bounty of his own for Hafiz Muhammed Saeed, the alleged orchestrator of the [...]

PREEMPTION  2:33 pm November 4, 2010

India Receives Intel That Terrorist Coconuts Want To Assassinate Obama

by Jack Stuef

President Obama will be embarking on a trip tomorrow to visit his real constituency — the world’s foreigners — to size up, as all American presidents do, potential countries to invade. But recently some local Muslim produce heard about his refusal to wear a Muslim head-covering and became radicalized. Officials in the Indian city of [...]

THE FUTURE  11:50 pm December 16, 2008

by Ken Layne

NOBAMA, EVER: Did you know the (fake) Mumbai terror attacks will soon lead to a nuclear war and then Bush declares Martial Law and Obama can’t become president and then a rogue planet will come to kill us all? So sayeth the Internets. [Boing Boing]

WAR ON CHRISTMAS  10:51 am December 8, 2008

Weird Times In Arkansas

by Ken Layne

Oh lord, what is happening here? Is the Elephant Man in the flower-print pillow-case mask the “grocery cart”? Which one’s Susan and which one’s Gabriela? Oh Arkansas, WTF? Ha ha, it is just a misplaced caption! This is really just a harmless photo from the terrorism in Mumbai! Thanks, “Xavier O,” for the tip. [Arkansas [...]

RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS  4:32 pm December 3, 2008

Jonah Goldberg Is So Gay For Mormons

by Juli Weiner

Police are going to use truth serum (probably just pinot noir) on the only surviving Mumbai terrorist. [Daily Beast] Harvard is in a recession too! The elitist madrassa where Barry spent his formative years managed to lose 22% of it’s $36.9 billion endowment in four months. [HuffPost] According to Jonah Goldberg, the real victims of [...]

RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS  4:10 pm December 1, 2008

Obama Announces Fancy Transition Donor Friends

by Juli Weiner

Here is a list of Obama’s best friends and how much they each paid David Plouffe, per hour, for the privilege of performing sexual favors on the two of them. [Ben Smith] Hindsight is 20/20, etc.: Americans warned Indians back in October that hotels in Mumbai would probably be attacked. [The Daily Beast] Steve Schmidt, [...]

THE SAD PARADE  12:49 am November 30, 2008

by Ken Layne

THE GREAT THANKSGIVING WARS: “A mob of bargain-crazed cretins smashed down the glass doors of a Long Island Wal-Mart and stomped the life out of a gentle man hired by a temporary agency to mind the store. Across the country in a Palm Desert strip mall, a bloody fistfight between two charming young women ended [...]


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