NOBAMA, EVER: Did you know the (fake) Mumbai terror attacks will soon lead to a nuclear war and then Bush declares Martial Law and Obama can’t become president and then a rogue planet will come to kill us all? So sayeth the Internets. [Boing Boing]

Oh lord, what is happening here? Is the Elephant Man in the flower-print pillow-case mask the “grocery cart”? Which one’s Susan and which one’s Gabriela? Oh Arkansas, WTF? Ha ha, it is just a misplaced caption! This is really just a harmless photo from the terrorism in Mumbai! Thanks, “Xavier O,” for the tip. [Arkansas Democrat Gazette]

• Police are going to use truth serum (probably just pinot noir) on the only surviving Mumbai terrorist. [Daily Beast]
• Harvard is in a recession too! The elitist madrassa where Barry spent his formative years managed to lose 22% of it’s $36.9 billion endowment in four months. [HuffPost]
• According to Jonah Goldberg, the real victims of Proposition 8 are the Mormons, who were in no way affected by Proposition 8 or any of its outcomes. [Andrew Sullivan]
• Obama loved his new boyfriend Bill Richardson better when he did the whole bear thing. “We’re deeply disappointed with the loss of the beard,” Obama said at a press conference, which was probably held in some art gallery in Providence. [CNN Political Ticker]
• The forgotten territory of Oklahoma is celebrating the completely irrelevant fact that John McCain won the state with a dumb Christmas card. [Ben Smith]

• Here is a list of Obama’s best friends and how much they each paid David Plouffe, per hour, for the privilege of performing sexual favors on the two of them. [Ben Smith]
• Hindsight is 20/20, etc.: Americans warned Indians back in October that hotels in Mumbai would probably be attacked. [The Daily Beast]
• Steve Schmidt, the David Axelrod of failure, has high hopes for castrating boy-wonder Bobby Jindal. [The Corner]
• Al Franken is just 73 votes shy of beating Norm Coleman out to be the new Norm Coleman, though according to the former, there are votes that remain to be counted. [HuffPost]
• Other members of the Alaskan Estates-General are wondering why Sarah Palin keeps avoiding doing anything she was elected to do. [Crooks and Liars]

THE GREAT THANKSGIVING WARS: “A mob of bargain-crazed cretins smashed down the glass doors of a Long Island Wal-Mart and stomped the life out of a gentle man hired by a temporary agency to mind the store. Across the country in a Palm Desert strip mall, a bloody fistfight between two charming young women ended with two men dead, after a gunfight in the aisles of Toys R Us.” [AOL Political Machine]