Tag Archives: msnbc

  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: How Can You Libs Like Rachel Maddow When She’s Always Wrong?

Twilight Sparkle and Rachel Maddow would be buds, for sure.
Oh, dear, it’s been a couple of weeks since we last did one of these features, and the comments queue may be spawning new forms of matter, like the sink full of unwashed dishes in Withnail and I. Let’s see what’s been stewing, shall we? Or who’s been stewing over what, more accurately. Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: How Can You Libs Like Rachel Maddow When She’s Always Wrong?…
  Paying Workers Is Just Another Form Of Socialism

On Minimum Wage, GOP Offers Only Toxic (Aaron) Schock Treatment

Well why not raise the minimum wage to a jillion an hour, then, huh?
Following the State of the Union address Tuesday, hunky but vapid Illinois Congressmeat Aaron Schock offered this wisdom on the Twitter Machine: It’s so true! Raising the minimum wage won’t eliminate poverty, so it’s clearly not worth doing. Rachel Maddow asked Schock to explain himself, and he went straight to the GOP myth that the minimum wage is a “starting wage,” and only teenagers and people just starting a first job make minimum wage. Isn’t it nice to know that the GOP is the party of economic realists? Maddow noted that it’s a pretty obvious fact that living on $10.10 an hour is a lot easier than $7.25 an hour, to which Schock had the perfect smart reply: Read more on On Minimum Wage, GOP Offers Only Toxic (Aaron) Schock Treatment…
  Time to start offending people who don't live in Iowa

Chris Christie Throws New Jersey Lady-Pigs Under 2016 Campaign Bus

Christie smash
Photo by Beth Ethier Chris Christie is a master of pre-presidential innovation. Having spent the 2014 midterm season hitting key states to campaign for Republican candidates, Christie has moved on to a bold new tactic: inviting Iowans to decide which laws are best for New Jersey where he is, at least nominally, still governor. Read more on Chris Christie Throws New Jersey Lady-Pigs Under 2016 Campaign Bus…
  Morning Maddow

Rachel Maddow: Can Texas Handle Ebola As Well As Nigeria Did? (Video)

Here’s Rachel Maddow talking sense on the Ebola virus. In her Thursday show, she looked at how authorities in Texas have responded to the first diagnosed case of the disease in the U.S. As it turns out, we’ve got a good model for how to deal effectively with Ebola: Nigeria actually kept the disease from breaking out into a pandemic when it discovered an infected patient had flown into the country, and while it took a massive effort, it worked. And so, all Texas needs to do to prevent a public health emergency is to be at least as effective as Nigeria. We just don’t know whether Nigeria had an entire news network dedicated to insisting the government can’t be trusted, or its own bunch of wingnut bloggers getting huge pageviews by out and out lying about Ebola. Read more on Rachel Maddow: Can Texas Handle Ebola As Well As Nigeria Did? (Video)…
  Who smells another Peabody for Mr. O'Reilly?

Bill O’Reilly Interrupts Vacation To Win Wingnut Bingo, Michael Brown Edition

You can't handle the derp
Bill O’Reilly took a break from sexphoning women with his fantasies of falafelling them in the shower, or whatever the heck he does for downtime, to let his viewers know he is “furious — furious!” about the unfair and unbalanced media coverage of the killing of Michael Brown. And because every single person reporting on the shooting is failing to report The Truth About Ferguson, O’Reilly is here to set the record straight, and also to let you know just how much he despises Al Sharpton, because wow, does he really hate that guy. Read more on Bill O’Reilly Interrupts Vacation To Win Wingnut Bingo, Michael Brown Edition…
  #MadAboutAThing

MSNBC Welcomes Back Hitler Fanboy Racist Piece Of Filth Pat Buchanan Because That’s All Behind Us Now

Every now and then, cable news gets something right. Not often — see, for example, that time CNN reported that the Supreme Court had overturned Obamacare, except it was the opposite of that, or see, for example everything that has ever aired on Fox “News.” But sometimes. Read more on MSNBC Welcomes Back Hitler Fanboy Racist Piece Of Filth Pat Buchanan Because That’s All Behind Us Now…
  philosophical debates

Rand Paul So Tired Of Mean Liberals Making Him Explain Why The Civil Rights Act Sucked

Stop that, Senator Paul.
Yesterday, while talking to Ari Melber in the filthy liberal demagogue echo chamber of MSNBC, Senator Rand Paul went into the defensive, whiny-ass titty-baby mode he always goes into when anyone calls him out for saying something stupid (somewhere around 7:50 in the above video). And since Rand Paul says many stupid things, there is a plethora of material. Like four years ago when he had to reassure everyone he would not try to overturn the Civil Rights Act of 1964 while also raising questions about whether the law should have outlawed discrimination by private businesses based on race. Read more on Rand Paul So Tired Of Mean Liberals Making Him Explain Why The Civil Rights Act Sucked…
  can't stop won't stop

Bradlee Dean Will Never Retreat, Never Surrender, Never Stop Suing Rachel Maddow

It was the purest and merest of chance that led us to google our old friend Bradlee Dean to see what he’s up to these days. We had no idea he had such an attractive new website with many colors and much shouting and ALL CAPS headlines and oh look what do we have here? Is Bradlee Dean still writing about how Rachel Maddow defamed him by quoting him? He sure is! And he’s still totally going to sue her, or is suing her, or never stopped suing her. We kinda can’t keep track, and also too we are sorta sad that Bradlee isn’t still threatening to sue us. Read more on Bradlee Dean Will Never Retreat, Never Surrender, Never Stop Suing Rachel Maddow…
  50 shades of graze

Watch Jedi Nevada Legislator Use Vulcan Voodoo Logic On MSNBC’s Chris Hayes (Video)

Meet Nevada Assemblywoman Michele Fiore, who traded the second “l” in her first name for the magical ability to never accept the premise of any question asked by a member of the Liberal Media. Hayes asks her if she agrees that SuperFreedom CowActivist Cliven Bundy is in violation of the law and owes a million dollars in grazing fees, and so of course, rather than address whether Bundy’s a lawbreaker, Fiore focuses in on the amount of the fees, because no one on “Harry Reid’s side” has ever shown us the bill. (Just like the birth certificate!!!!)  “No one’s seen it, the media’s goin’ crazy. If he owes the bill, he’s willing to pay it, he has said that.” Which, you know, is sort of what we in the Far Left Big Government-Loving Establishment might call a “baldfaced lie.” Then Hayes points out that Cliven Bundy has said that he doesn’t even recognize the authority of the government to bill him, and asks Fiore, “Do you agree with that stance? Do you recognize the authority of the federal government?” What a biased, left-wing question, clearly designed to trap a freedom-loving Patriot in a logic pretzel! And so Fiore answers the question she’d far rather address: I recognize our federal government overstepped and overreached in our state of Nevada, that’s what I recognize. I recognize we have a lot of issues to conclude … I’m recognizing what I’ve seen. This is my sixth day on the ground here in Bunkerville, and I’m recognizing that this was handled totally incompetent; I’m questioning the BLM and I’m also going to request either a resignation or termination of the person that had ordered this to be done. Nicely derped! And for this performance, wingnut blogs are praising her insistence on “driv[ing]the conversation back to a few key points like a jackhammer.” Read more on Watch Jedi Nevada Legislator Use Vulcan Voodoo Logic On MSNBC’s Chris Hayes (Video)…
  fingerpointing blamegaming with alec baldwin

Alec Baldwin Did Not Gay Slur That Man, But If He Did It Was Shia LaBeouf’s Fault

Here is an oral history of the Trials of Alec Baldwin, and would you believe Alec Baldwin is not to blame for gay slurring that man whom he did not gay slur? (“All this is based on the fact of them believing what I said on a video.”) Before we get to the endless Old Testament-styley begats of everyone in the world who is to blame for Alec Baldwin gay-slurring that man, which, we repeat, he did not do, a warmup: Read more on Alec Baldwin Did Not Gay Slur That Man, But If He Did It Was Shia LaBeouf’s Fault…
  off to the dudgeon with you

Fox News Getting Genocided Again By Thin-Skinned Unmanly Weasels Who Criticize Bill O’Reilly

Why is it that the tears of Fox News hosts are so especially delicious? After getting huge ratings for his ranty pre-Super Bowl interview with President Obama, Bill O’Reilly and other Fox Newsers are now very, very hurt that not everybody thought it was an exercise in fair but tough-minded journalism. For instance, here’s Megyn Kelly griping to Democratic strategist James Carville about the unmanly way that Obama laughed off O’Reilly’s Fox News talking points: “I do think it’s interesting that the president seems so focused on us,” Kelly told Carville. “I never heard President [George W.] Bush do this about MSNBC. He was taking his licks like a man.” “He gave you an interview on the day of the Super Bowl,” Carville responded. “The biggest audience you have.” “So why did he waste his time complaining about his coverage when he’s got most of the mainstream media in his pocket?” Kelly shot back, a complaint shared by other Fox colleagues. Why, yes, we remember back during the Bush administration, how MSNBC was a hugely influential monolith of manufactured anti-Bush propaganda whose programming largely dictated what liberals said about George W. And nobody in the Bush administration ever warned media types to “watch what they say, watch what they do” or ever complained about the liberal media. So it looks like we’re back at the 2009 “War On Fox” again, when the poor little network was fighting for its life against the constant assaults from the Obama White House and there was that one weekend when Obama went on all the Sunday shows except Fox’s. Read more on Fox News Getting Genocided Again By Thin-Skinned Unmanly Weasels Who Criticize Bill O’Reilly…
  all the derp that's fit to herp

Derp Roundup: BYU-Idaho Fights The Battle Of The Boner, And Other Dispatches From The War On Stupid

Welcome, O Wonkers and Wankers, to another edition of the Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we clean the sticky residue of stoopid stories from our browser tabs, cut it with a secret mix of chemicals from Freedumb Industries, and serve it up to you in an elixir that’s easily as tasteful and memorable as Jack Daniels Tennessee Honey. Read more on Derp Roundup: BYU-Idaho Fights The Battle Of The Boner, And Other Dispatches From The War On Stupid…
  rightwingers are never racist

MSNBC Goes To Free Speech Jail For Pointing Out Racist People Are Racist

Rightwingers are never racist. Rightwingers are never racist. Rightwingers are never racist. Rightwingers are never racist. Rightwingers are never racist. Rightwingers are never racist. Rightwingers are never racist. Rightwingers are never racist. Rightwingers are never racist. Rightwingers are never racist. Now that that’s out of the way, let’s go look at the comments UNDER AN ARTICLE about threatening to boycott MSNBC for calling rightwingers racist! Read more on MSNBC Goes To Free Speech Jail For Pointing Out Racist People Are Racist…
  we're gonna run out of mob movie quotes soon

Withholding Hurricane Sandy Aid Should Teach Hoboken Not To Take Sides With Anyone Against Chris Christie Ever Again

We’re going to have to set up some sort of macro template to write about Chris Christie. It can include the words “bridge” and “corruption” and “investigation widens” and “Hurricane Sandy” and so on. The weekend brought news that Christie allegedly (see? no libel there!) blocked Hurricane Sandy aid to Hoboken because Mayor Dawn Zimmer wouldn’t play ball. We’ve touched upon this a couple times already but let’s face it: there is no such thing as too much coverage of the delicious ever-expanding Chris Christie scandal. So what is it that kicked off this latest possibly career-destroying scandal? Over the weekend, Hoboken lady mayor came forward and explained how her city had gotten approximately ten dollars of Hurricane Sandy aid instead of the kazillions it needs since the city was basically drowned during the hurricane, all thanks to Christie withholding those funds unless Zimmer greenlit a pet redevelopment project. Read more on Withholding Hurricane Sandy Aid Should Teach Hoboken Not To Take Sides With Anyone Against Chris Christie Ever Again…
  post-racial america is here at last

NC Gov Pat McCrory: These Million Black People Don’t Need A Congressman Because What’s He Gonna Do Anyway, Vote?

So we all know that the GOP is trying really hard to keep ‘undesirables’ from voting — whether we are talking about youngsters, racial minorities, or anyone who might be too poor to afford proper ID. (Thanks, SCOTUS.) But North Carolina Governor Pat McCrory (R-1950s) has come up with a novel way to disenfranchise minorities: just deny them a member of Congress! BRILLIANT, right? Rather than all the effort of suppressing voters and costs associated with weeding out undesirables, why not just straight up deny a majority-minority district their member of Congress for a year? McCrory is doing just that with the seat vacated by Rep. Mel Watt (D-NC), who resigned in early January to head up the Federal Housing Finance Agency. McCrory is working the system so that the seat won’t be filled until after the November election, and his reason is simple: Congress sucks anyway, so no worries. Oh yeah, that’s for real his answer, and we don’t even have a joke for it because HOLY FUCK that takes some balls. Some seriously racist, 1950s-era Jim Crow balls.  Read more on NC Gov Pat McCrory: These Million Black People Don’t Need A Congressman Because What’s He Gonna Do Anyway, Vote?…
  ugly vile little snark mob

Ben Shapiro Is Our Intellectual Better, And The Other Funniest Deleted Comments You’ll Read All Day

Greetings, mis pequeños Wonquitos! Hope you’re up for another exciting trip to the Purgatory of Ideas that is the comments queue! Our first unsuccessfully attempted comment was a reaction from “Katherine,” who was quite displeased with our failure to recognize our intellectual betters, particularly the Big Thoughts of Ben Shapiro: Ben Shapiro is more intelligent than all of you put together. He knows his stuff, and all you do is spit out vitriol garbage. Your views are filled with mindless emotion, and his are filled with intelligence and evidence. “Vitriolic,” dear. Yes, it is true, we are driven by mindless emotions, like thinking that people should be able to feed their families, and that the stimulative effect of unemployment insurance is good for the economy. But Ben Shapiro, he is one smart fella, and he felt smart. Read more on Ben Shapiro Is Our Intellectual Better, And The Other Funniest Deleted Comments You’ll Read All Day…
  that's not racial transcendence

Newt Gingrich So Mad At MSNBC For Forcing Conservatives To Be Racist About Nelson Mandela

Last week, Newt Gingrich put out what he described as a “heartfelt” statement about the passing of Nelson Mandela. (No, you’re not really supposed to describe your own work as “heartfelt,” but in the annals of Gingrichian self-regard, this is probably as minor as it gets.) Back in the ’80s, Gingrich had in fact (for once) been on the right side of history, as he argued the Reagan administration should fight Apartheid instead of lovingly fellating the Afrikaner government that was then stomping on the throats of the black majority. Well, ol Newton got a bit of pushback from people who were very ANGRY that he would have kind words for the Kenyan South African Marxist Muslin Terrorist, and he wrote a second piece explaining “shut up is why.” Which is absolutely not news, any of it. Every Republican who has said anything at all not spitty and lynchy about the father of democratic South Africa has been inundated with a bunch of waaaah und drang. But what is news is whose fault it is that Real Merkins are a-bitchin’ and a-hootin’ about that dastardly old Mandz: it is MSNBC’s fault, of course, just like we said in the headline. Read more on Newt Gingrich So Mad At MSNBC For Forcing Conservatives To Be Racist About Nelson Mandela…
  he has heard the mermen singing

Ben Shapiro Saw Chris Matthews And Barack On Teevee, K-I-S-S-I-N-G

Media Watchdog Ben Shapiro saw something nasty on the teevee. He did not like it. No sir, he did not like it one bit. He did not like Chris Matthews’ interview with Barack Obama one single itty-bitty bit. As the interview aired, Shapiro tweeted, A new television show asks the question: how close can platonic male love get without spilling over into sexuality? It’s called #Hardball. And then he wrote it all up for Breitbart, with the headline “Date Night: Matthews Throws Softballs to Obama” — get it? Balls! Just like the title of the show, only soft! Reading between the lines, we almost think that Shapiro is suggesting that Chris Matthews and Barry Bamz are gay homosexuals who are in Big Gay Love with each other and will make gay sex soon. Or perhaps we’re overthinking it. Read more on Ben Shapiro Saw Chris Matthews And Barack On Teevee, K-I-S-S-I-N-G…
  nothing gold can stay

Martin Bashir Resigns From MSNBC Just For Saying He Wanted To Make Turds In Sarah Palin’s Mouth

Robert Frost – Nothing Gold Can Stay – The… by poetictouch Remember when Martin Bashir said he wanted to make poops in Sarah Palin’s mouth? No, he wasn’t trying to be funny. He was very, very MAD! Why did Martin Bashir want to go number two, in Sarah Palin’s mouth? Well, mostly so he could give Wonket commenters about one million chances to explain that there is not any room for more dookie in there (in Sarah Palin’s mouth) because it (Sarah Palin’s mouth) is already quite full of it (dookie)! Oh, and also, he was making a point that no, being in debt to China is not the same as slavery, you ridiculous bad lady. Because in slavery, like in the television documentary “Coven,” some mean slaveowners would actually shit in their slaves’ mouths. It turns out — who knew! — slavery kind of sucked! Anyway, Martin Bashir has now “resigned,” and poor, put-upon Alec Baldwin has been avenged. Read more on Martin Bashir Resigns From MSNBC Just For Saying He Wanted To Make Turds In Sarah Palin’s Mouth…
  what am i a farmer?

Alec Baldwin Allegedly Fired From MSNBC For Basically Being Jack Donaghy

Did you love Alec Baldwin in 30 Rock? Wasn’t he sort of delightfully terrible? A caricature of every bad diva boss you’ve ever had — the people who couldn’t make their own coffee, even though it was a fucking Keurig machine, the people who demanded you literally be in two places at once, the people who threw tantrums over having to use the same pens that everyone else did. Apparently, that is actually how Alec Baldwin is in real life, which is much less amusing, sadly, and it appears that MSNBC is unamused as well and is canning his ass. Read more on Alec Baldwin Allegedly Fired From MSNBC For Basically Being Jack Donaghy…
  please revise your feces statement

MSNBC’s Martin Bashir Wants To Feed Sarah Palin A Dookie

Fluff the pillows on the National Rightwing Fainting Couch and charge up the Orbital Outrage Cannon: Sarah Palin’s good name has been tarnished by the Lamestream Media! It is true! After the tea party’s guiding intellect compared the national debt to slavery (because obviously if something isn’t Hitler it has to be slavery), MSNBC talky guy Martin Bashir called her a “world class idiot” (science fact) and said that “it’s hardly surprising that she should choose to mention slavery in a way that is abominable to anyone who knows anything about its barbaric history” (also a science fact). He then read an excerpt from the 18th-century diary of a plantation overseer that mentioned some of the creative ways they’d punish unruly slaves, including forcing them to eat each other’s feces. But where Bashir went over the line was in suggesting that because she is obviously ignorant of the realities of slavery, Palin might benefit from similar treatment, which makes Martin Bashir the worst baddest most horriblest man who ever lived. The entire episode is ridiculous of course, because it’s not as if Sarah Palin was trying to run away or learn to read. Doesn’t Martin Bashir know anything about slavery? Read more on MSNBC’s Martin Bashir Wants To Feed Sarah Palin A Dookie…