Wonkette

FORGET YOUR TROUBLES: New proof of the New Depression: People are going to any old dumb movie again, just to briefly forget the terrible reality of foreclosures, debt, inflation and hobos. [Political Machine]

Beloved filmmaker Oliver Stone hasn’t done anything interesting since 1963, when he made the “Zapruder Film” that showed how JFK was killed by the Conspiracy. Now the veteran director is taking on the story of another person who lived in the White House: the president of freedom, George W. Bush. Not even a Leonard Cohen soundtrack or Tommy Lee Jones playing a mincing New Orleans homosexual could make this movie not suck. MORE »

You knew that when the Presidential campaign hit Philadelphia that at least one candidate was going to say “I’m just like Rocky,” right? The only question was which politician would be the first to compare him or herself to the famous movie boxer who lost in a split decision to a black man who was later killed. You’ll never guess who’s America’s next Rocky Balboa! MORE »

A long time ago in the 1990s there was this teevee program called The X-Files — a creepy mix of Nixon-era political conspiracy, the occult, fake terror attacks, FEMA killing everybody, and Space Demons. It seemed completely fantastic until 2001, when Dick Cheney and George W. Bush began their reign of horror. And finally, after years of silence, the creators of the X-Files are talking about how this administration stole all their ideas, even 9/11! MORE »

Lord knows where he got the funding for this modern epic, but it seems to be a waste. Seriously, the cheesy voiceover guy with the movie trailer theme? If you’re going to go down that road, at least have some gun fights or explosions or snippets of you beating the shit out of a Merck executive in that mill you keep talking about.

Props to the conniving sleuths over at Slate’s Trailhead for discovering this alarming comparison between Javier Bardem (right), here portraying a demented psychopath in the Coen Brothers’ excellent No Country For Old Men, and a younger Fred Thompson, here futuristically portraying a dumbass. Oh, wait a sec — No Country For Old Men? This entire movie is an allegory about the middling Thompson campaign! So then Tommy Lee Jones’ sheriff character is really… Walnuts?? [Trailhead]

Laura Dern is playing Katherine “Kitty” Harris in HBO’s upcoming film Recount, an adaptation of a lost Care Bears book in which Al Gore doesn’t become president. And on Monday, they were filming in Tallahassee — only backwards. MORE »

Politico’s gossip grunt Anne Schroeder reports today that Jimmy Carter was in town at the MPAA to catch the preview of Jonathan Demme’s cinematic blow job to him. And, again, as we said before, we’re having a hard time wrapping our heads around the idea of viewing a movie about a book tour (pandemonium ensues when the tip of Jimmy’s Sharpie gets mushy!) without falling asleep. Surely Demme could have spiced things up a bit by revisiting some of his past triumphs.

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He was a mild-mannered peanut farmer from Georgia with lust in his heart. She was a confused Middle East state violently divided by religion. Together, they dreamed of a better day. Jimmy Carter: The Movie! Coming soon to a theater near you! MORE »

One of Rudy Giulinai’s many explanations for his bizarre habit of taking pretend “phone calls” from “his wife” during speeches and campaign appearances was to reference the scene in Dr. Strangelove where George C. Scott takes a call from his secretary/mistress in the War Room just before the bombs fall. [WP]