Tag: movies

Alabama Drive-In Rescues Children From Gay Threat Of ‘Beauty And The Beast’

Thank heavens people are still paying attention to what matters: Fretting about gay characters in movies.

Carrie Fisher Dies At 60, Takes Part Of Your Youth With Her

Relive 2016 again? We'd just as soon kiss a Wookiee.
I know what you're thinking. Did he win six electoral votes or only five?

Donald Trump’s Plan To End Crime: Unleash Dirty Harry, McBain, More-Racist Mel Gibson

Donald Trump has a plan to stop crime, and it all depends on One Tough Cop. Wish Trump had gotten his name.
In an undated file photo, Neil deGrasse Tyson gives the Wookiee salute popularized by Dr. Spock

Neil deGrasse Tyson Turns Twitter Feed Into Live Show, Sciences The Sh*t Out Of Movies

Neil deGrasse Tyson is America's preeminent nerd. He'd like to take you to the movies. And then remind you space is a vacuum, and the Death Star wouldn't go 'KABOOM!'

Get Ready For Your Closeup, Fraudulent Quacky Anti-Vaxx Doctor Guy! Your Snake Oil Bulletin

Greetings, screen fans! It's time once again for your weekly tincture of intolerable bullshit, the Snake Oil Bulletin! This week we're going to the land of Stars! Hollywood! It seems that the fine people of our nation's film industry...

Anti-Vaccine Film Safely Removed From Robert De Niro’s Ass

Welcome back to the cheaters, rapscallions, and assorted flim-flammers alike. It's time once more for the Snake Oil Bulletin! This week we have a double dose of dumb-dumbs being extra diddly-dumb about vaccines. Do vaccines cause autism? Still nope!...
American thinker.

Ted Nugent Will Eliminate Liberals With Gay Stuff In Their Butts, For America

Ted Nugent is upset, everyone. Barack Obama is his enemy, and he hasn't jerked off to Megyn Kelly in at least two weeks. So he went to his old friend Alex Jones to talk through his feelings. Like, did...
Not here to make jokes.

Amy Schumer Says Mass Shootings Somehow Involve Guns, Guess She Hates America

Last week, Sarah Clements, a gun control activist and daughter of a Sandy Hook survivor, wrote an open letter to Amy Schumer, asking her to step up and speak out to try to do SOMETHING about our uniquely American problem...
If it's one thing I can't stand, it's people groveling.

God Gives Lady Gift Of Prophecy To Save The World, Predict How Movies End

Spoiler alert: These people are insufferable. In a recent video (sadly not embeddable), self-proclaimed Christian "prophets" Rebecca Greenwood and traditional straight-married couple Cindy and Mike Jacobs compared notes on how exactly their God-given gifts of prophecy work. It was pretty impressive, and we...
I see dead people.

Todd Starnes Has Some Thoughts On American Jesus We Mean American Sniper

Here's a true story about Todd Starnes. Recently, I was at a party and mentioned that I was writing about Todd Starnes. The person I was talking to didn't quite know who Todd Starnes was until I said, "People make...
dear leader plz don't steal our emails

Hollywood Surrenders To North Korean Nerd Squad

The power drunk, sadistic, and unstable Dictator for Life of North Korea, Kim Jong-Un -- who executed a dozen members of his own family to consolidate power, starves his own people while pumping them full of propaganda, and is...
Angelina didn't see this coming at all when she starred in 1995 film Hackers.

Hackers To Crush Sony Pictures Unless Sony Wants To Be Pen Pals

The shadowy hacker group that has been sowing chaos, panic, and dissension in the ranks of Sony Pictures Entertainment by releasing thousands of private emails also has a condescendingly benevolent side. The group, calling themselves Guardians of Peace (yes, in...

A Children’s Treasury Of Stupid Bloviating About The Isla Vista Murders

We've now entered the exciting "place blame on people you don't like" phase of the coverage of the shootings in Isla Vista last Friday, where bloggers, teevee news panelists, and other luminaries present their instant diagnoses of the culture-war...

Please Run For President, Mr. Santorum. Your Country’s Mommy Blogs Need You

Rick Santorum, we need to talk about your future. We know you're having fun playing at being a movie producer, and apparently you like that part-time job enough that you mention it during your trips to Iowa. We don't...

Radio Preacher Kevin Swanson: Did I Say Gay? I Meant Disney’s ‘Frozen’ Will Make Your Kid A Witch. A Gay Witch

So a couple weeks back we looked at how Colorado radio preacher Kevin Swanson had figured out that Disney's Frozen is turning kids gay, because it just does, OK? Well, apparently Rev. Swanson simply can't Let It Go, Let...

Here Are Some Additional Disney Princesses For Fox News To Worry About

It’s awfully nice of Fox News to take a break from bashing the socialist tyranny of Michelle Obama’s insistence that children try eating the occasional carrot and getting some exercise, so that Fox News can worry that a petition...