Not since the Grinch stole Jesus’ Birthday from the tiny hydrocephalic aliens of Whoville has a figure of evil so blatantly tried to fuck a precious holiday to death: Barack Obama wants to make September 11 some kind of evil, patriotic day of remembering the terrorist attacks by doing something for America. It is exactly like he individually piloted all of those jets into those buildings, and knocked them down! MORE »

• BLAGOJEVICH CALLED OUR BARRY A ‘MOTHERFUCKER’! Jesus, show a little respect for the president-elect! From the Politico: “He also appears to think little of the president-elect, whom he calls a ‘motherf***er’ at one point.” [Politico]

We interrupt your Fourth of July with some Breaking News: Jesse Helms was apparently still alive, and now he’s dead, hooray! He was a sour troll and a bigot, and it’s a testament to every rotten thing about this country that for a quarter century, he was one of the most powerful people in American politics. [LAT/NYT]

All George W. Bush wants to do these days is sing and dance. Hey, he’s a pretty okay guy after all! So what if he killed 600,000 people and blew up a third of the world and ruined the Global Economy and probably caused AIDS? He loves to entertain, and the Washington Press Corps loves when anybody famous pays attention to them! MORE »

“Chertoff: We’re Preparing for Nuclear Attack.” [NewsMax]