The Senate went to work on a Sunday — Hanukkah Sunday, we bet! — and desecrated the grave of the Stillborn Jesus to give hundreds of billions of dollars to themselves and their favorite government programs. The bill okays $447 billion for whatever federal agencies plus $650 billion to keep funding teabagger welfare programs such as Medicare, which pointlessly extends the miserable lives of old white people with no money. MORE »

So, we’re coming up on Christmas (and Chanukkah, Kwanzaa and Festivus) and everyone, it seems, is losing their houses and in debt up to their eyeballs but the Presidential candidates (and the President, and some governors) have plans, man! Of course, only people that are actually, like, in office can do anything about this (or the next) holiday season, but they’d like you to feel warm and fuzzy anyway. The details, after the jump.

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