Tag Archives: mosque

  Send Lawyers Guns And Money. Mostly Money

Arizona Muslim-Hater Needs $10 Million To Save His Family, Mean GoFundMe Won’t Let Him Have It

Poor bastard can't even afford a shirt
Great American Patriot Jon Ritzheimer has had a wonderful and terrible week. He’s the nice fellow with the “Fuck Islam!” t-shirt who organized that big “Free Speech (and Hate Islam) Rally” at the Islamic Community Center of Phoenix last Friday, where armed idiots showed up to exercise their sacred right to be dicks, and to prove that Islam is very scary. Happily, the rally came off without anyone getting shot, thanks to a huge police presence. Oh, but Mr. Ritzheimer is now in fear for his life, because some idiots on Twitter threatened him, and now he needs to go into hiding to save his family, so would you all please donate to his GoFundMe? He figures $10 million should be enough to tide him over. Read more on Arizona Muslim-Hater Needs $10 Million To Save His Family, Mean GoFundMe Won’t Let Him Have It…
  The Sacred Right To Be A Dick

Free Speech Loving Islamophobes Invade Phoenix Mosque To Draw Mohammed, Guns

He's just a fan of the vibrant dialogue guaranteed by the First Amendment
In what’s expected to be a terrific day for both the First and Second Amendments, several hundred armed idiots are expected to show up for a rally and “Draw Muhammad Cartoon Contest” outside a mosque in Phoenix Friday evening. The event’s Facebook page emphasizes that while the rally should be “PEACEFUL,” it would also be a terrific idea for attendees to “utilize there [sic] second amendment right at this event just incase [sic] our first amendment comes under the much anticipated attack.” Read more on Free Speech Loving Islamophobes Invade Phoenix Mosque To Draw Mohammed, Guns…
  The Trouble With Timelords

Very Credible ‘Former Jihadist’ Saw Barack Obama Kissing Muslim Claus In A Mosque On Christmas

Don't be ridiculous -- Santa is white.
In a revelation that will be shocking proof to at least 12 or 13 wingnuts who were genuinely undecided on the question, we learn that Barack Obama has to be a Muslim because on Christmas, he totally attended a mosque in Washington DC instead of celebrating the Sacred Baby Festival like a real American. This revelation comes from rightwing darling Kamal Saleem, a fake ex-jihadist who is popular with some fundagelicals because he claims to have converted from being a radical Islamic terrist to doing Jihad for Jebus instead. Read more on Very Credible ‘Former Jihadist’ Saw Barack Obama Kissing Muslim Claus In A Mosque On Christmas…
  the gang that couldn't bang straight

English Wingnuts Protect Their Beloved Land From ‘Mosque’ That Actually Was A KFC

From Merrie Olde Englande comes this bit of costly stupid: A documentary is set to reveal on Monday how UK police spent £500,000 ($852,000) to control an English Defense League (EDL) far-Right protest against a planned mosque, which happened to be a KFC fast-food branch. The BBC documentary, “Police Under Pressure,” documents how false rumors were spread that a pub was to be turned into a mosque, resulting in the protest in the city of Sheffield. OK, but isn’t the real story here that no mosque was in fact built, and so the xenophobic wingnuts of the EDL saved their city from the horrors of Creeping and Extra Crispy Sharia Law? Why don’t the media recognize the good these fine yobs have done, instead of criticizing and disparaging, eh, wot? Read more on English Wingnuts Protect Their Beloved Land From ‘Mosque’ That Actually Was A KFC…
  allah them katie

Muslim-Lover Supreme Court Jerks Won’t Raze Tennessee Mosque, We Are All Going To Die

Has Victoria Jackson been informed of this? The U.S. Supreme Court has declined the chance to save Tennessee from rampant sharia law, or at least it won’t intervene in a bullshit case claiming that the Islamic Center of Murfreesboro was constructed without adequate public notice. Opponents of the existence of Muslims had filed the suit back in 2010, claiming that the building permit was issued improperly and that the mosque should therefore be razed or something. A member of the Islamic Center board said he was happy that the case was finally over, and Joe Brandon Jr., the attorney for the plaintiffs, admitted defeat, saying “It’s in the Lord’s hands now … We have done all we can do.” In Tennessee, that probably translates to “maybe if we’re lucky someone will try arson again, though heaven knows we’d never actually say that out loud.” Read more on Muslim-Lover Supreme Court Jerks Won’t Raze Tennessee Mosque, We Are All Going To Die…
  guilty of reporting while muslim

Nice Tennessee Lady Will Not Stand For Muslim Student Journalist Putting Her In Back Of Bus

The Great Tennessee Muslim Cemetery Battle drags on, and here’s what happened when Noor Tagouri, a journalism student at the University of Maryland, tried to cover yet another hearing aimed at preventing the Islamic Center of Murfreesboro from opening a cemetery on its grounds. The permit was approved back in January, but brave patriots are trying to block it in the courts, since burning down a cemetery is much much harder than burning down a mosque. And so, following Monday’s hearing, Ms. Tagouri found herself being yelled at by the good Christians who oppose the mosque, including terminal angerbag Lou Ann Zelenick, who has been a leader in the neverending fight against the Murfreesboro mosque. Ms. Zelenick is the nice lady yelling at a different journalist — presumably the unseen man with an accent — to “take your microphone and go” — she objects to being recorded by a woman in a hijab, since she’s “had death threats” and “been on Iranian news. It’s very frightening what y’all have done.” This only makes sense, due to the well-known fact that recording devices held by Muslims send Jihad Rays to the middle east. Read more on Nice Tennessee Lady Will Not Stand For Muslim Student Journalist Putting Her In Back Of Bus…
  smallotry

Reminder: Rights Of Muslim Citizens Still Routinely Trampled In United States

That’s yr Wonkette’s shoulder and neck in the extreme right foreground. The ox-man in the flag polo was trying to steal our sign!   It seems like only yesterday that we could hardly believe some of the awful things people were doing to Muslims in the United States 2,000+ years after JC met his bio dad. But lately the big news has been “Gays win” and “Pot smokers win” and “Blacks still get murdered a lot” and “Mass shootings” and “IRS Ben Gozzi Obamacare!” That one is kinda Muslim, but we are talking about the quotidian traumas of being viewed as enemies by your own neighbors and government. These stories have lately been absent from the National Conversation, but have they been absent from real life? Read more on Reminder: Rights Of Muslim Citizens Still Routinely Trampled In United States…
  triumph of the shrill

Victoria Jackson Just Says Yes To Running For Office, All Wonkette’s Fever Nightmare Dreams Come True

We knew it might happen. We hoped for the best. We had a campaign poster contest. And now we have the candidate. The Tennessean reports: Former “Saturday Night Live” cast member Victoria Jackson wants her next act to be as a Williamson County Commissioner. Jackson, who moved to Thompson’s Station last year, is petitioning as an independent to become a candidate for one of two District 2 commission seats, currently held by commissioners Betsy Hester and John Hancock. V-Jack, honey, we are behind you 3000 percent. And in your world, that’s a real number. Read more on Victoria Jackson Just Says Yes To Running For Office, All Wonkette’s Fever Nightmare Dreams Come True…
  equal last rites

Tennessee Genius Scott DesJarlais: ‘Religious Freedom’ Will Unleash Muslim Terror Zombie Mummies

If there’s anything to be learned from the flap over MSNBC’s mean cereal-based tweet, it’s that you should never reduce people to one-dimensional stereotypes. (OK, that and MSNBC will lean backwards to placate screamy butthurt Republicans.) And so, with this important lesson in mind, let us consider the may facets of Tennessee Congresscritter Scott DesJarlais, who we must confess we’ve generally only thought of as “that hypocritical ‘pro-life’ douchekettle who pressured his mistress to have an abortion and also turned out to be a big supporter of his wife’s right to choose, just not any other ladies’.” But it turns out that there is actually much, much more to Scott DesJarlais than mere reproductive-rights hypocrisy! For you see, children, it turns out that he is also a religious-freedom hypocrite as well! You see, he has learned that a lot of Muslims think that they have some kind of right to bury their dead in a cemetery, just like normal people! This gives him a sad, as he explained on his Book of the Face: Friends, I have received numerous calls over the last couple of weeks regarding the Murfreesboro mosque cemetery. Although this is a state issue, I am deeply concerned over the impact it might have on our community. Unfortunately the Tennessee Religious Freedom Act, passed by the TN General Assembly, may have played a key role in allowing this cemetery to be approved. Stupid religious freedom! As philosopher-king poet-warrior Gil Scott Heron observed, “God damn it…first one wants freedom / Then the whole damn world wants freedom.” Read more on Tennessee Genius Scott DesJarlais: ‘Religious Freedom’ Will Unleash Muslim Terror Zombie Mummies…
  burning with christ's love

Missouri Man Confesses To Arsons At Mosque, Planned Parenthood Office, Is Definitely Not A Terrorist Because ‘White’

Hey, remember that loony guy last year who protested all the gheys by setting fire to a box of Cheerios at gay-friendly General Mills, with hilarious lawn-burning results? OK, that guy is not really part of this story at all, but the very same day we ran that story, another friend of Jebus burned a mosque to the ground in Joplin, Missouri, and we reported the two events together, because hey, setting stuff on fire for the Prince of Peace, right? So now, a bit over a year later, the mosque-burner, one Jedediah Stout, 29, has confessed to police after being arrested for two recent attempts to set fire to Joplin’s Planned Parenthood clinic. He also admitted to an earlier 2012 attempt to burn the same mosque. If nothing else, Mr. Stout is a study in perseverance and the work ethic, the little arsonist who could — at least once out of four tries. We’re waiting patiently for Stout to be charged with terrorism as well. HA-HA, who are we kidding? Read more on Missouri Man Confesses To Arsons At Mosque, Planned Parenthood Office, Is Definitely Not A Terrorist Because ‘White’…
  luntz it up

Are You On The NYPD’s List Of ‘Demographic Americans’? Are You Brown? Then Yes!

Fun fact: after 9/11, the NYPD created something called  a “demographics unit,” devoted to spending time in South Asian and Middle Eastern neighborhoods in New York, New Haven, and various neighborhoods in New Jersey  under the supervision of a CIA agent who worked closely with another former CIA agent hired by the NYPD shortly after 9/11. But don’t worry, the NYPD/CIA officers don’t spy on anyone or anything; they “just” go to mosques so they can “know what they are saying,” and sometimes spend hours in halal markets, bookstores, barbershops, gyms, and restaurants, writing down detailed logs of conversations wherein participants express concern about drone strike frequency in Pakistan, for example, or the ongoing occupation of Afghanistan. What? Using the CIA to spy on Americans is illegal, you say?  And targeting Americans based on their ethnic or racial characteristics violates the 14th Amendment? First of all, you have a pre-9/11 mindset. And second, they aren’t spying on regular Americans, they are spying on demographic Americans, who are probably up to no good anyways. This is why it is TOTALLY not like when the NYPD had a “black desk” in the ’60s to spy on African Americans: Read more on Are You On The NYPD’s List Of ‘Demographic Americans’? Are You Brown? Then Yes!…
  what if they had a culture war and nobody came?

Relax, Nashville, Your Symphony Hall Is Not Going To Become A Mosque

Nashville paranoids were well and truly trolled last week by a fake website claiming that the city’s Schermerhorn Symphony Center, which had been damaged by severe flooding in 2010 and just last month escaped foreclosure, would soon be converted into a mosque. Vigilant protectors of Constitutional religious freedom all that is good and true and American sprang into action, emailing everyone in creation and putting up a Facebook page to stop the “Shariahorn” (and to protest a scheduled August appearance by Kathy Griffin, because she hurt Jesus’s feelings at the Emmys six years ago). And then, just when the anti-sharia forces were building up a good head of steam, a conservative blogger went and called the whole thing a hoax, citing “some of the people” who had been promoting the beware-the-mosque story. The Nashville Scene followed up with a unique approach: They called the Nashville Symphony and asked if the Schermerhorn was going to become a mosque. Nope. Cue the Adagio for Sad Trombones. Read more on Relax, Nashville, Your Symphony Hall Is Not Going To Become A Mosque…
  Burning Desire

What Are Humble Followers Of Jesus Burning To The Ground Today?

A portly neckbearded gentleman with a pink shirt and a blowtorch sets fire to a box of Honey Nut Cheerios to show General Mills that he does not care for its gay-friendly policies. It does not go quite as brilliantly as he planned, thanks to wind and highly flammable sugar. But what else has been set on fire lately? Well, what hasn’t? Read more on What Are Humble Followers Of Jesus Burning To The Ground Today?…
  fortress of solitude

Area 51 ‘Mosque’ Design Is Frank Gehry By Way of Ayatollah & Superman

If you are anything like most of the world’s Muslims, you spend your days leafing through Dwell and Architectural Digest, wondering just how you will achieve the correct interplay of light and shadow in your third second home in the Berkshires. Thus, you and your Mohammedan friends will surely be thrilled to learn of the fabulous design plans for the infamous “Nieuwe Amsterdaam Mosque,” which some Real Americans argue is located uncomfortably close to Anthony Bourdain’s Les Halles Downtown. Also, it is Superman’s ice-diamond house owned by Marlon Brando? Read more on Area 51 ‘Mosque’ Design Is Frank Gehry By Way of Ayatollah & Superman…
  oh so world politics is dictated by pointless crap now too

Obama, Everyone Condemn Random Pastor Who Is Somehow Famous

You may have heard there is a random pastor guy in Florida who decided he’s gonna burn hisself a whol’ bunch ‘er K-rans on 9/11! Wow! Big news! Random American hicks hate things that are not like them! But our media saw this and decided everyone looooooved that mosque story so much that this man should be an international celebrity. And now every slightly important human and country on Earth must be questioned on what their “stance” is on this “issue,” because that pastor guy is so very famous. And now your president has had to do this very thing, and this is huge international news, because it makes America look great. Read more on Obama, Everyone Condemn Random Pastor Who Is Somehow Famous…
  team huddle at least four blocks from ground zero

David Paterson Calls a 9/11 Mosk Debate Timeout

David Paterson has blown the timeout whistle on all the constructive dialogue about the 9/11 Mosk. You have one week to eat orange slices and drink Gatorade and spray paint new hilariously misspelled signs, and then the “debate” resumes! Read more on David Paterson Calls a 9/11 Mosk Debate Timeout…
  probably just sit at home with pals ben and jerry

Poor Obama Has Nowhere To Celebrate 9/11 This Year :(

We all know that 9/11 is the best holiday ever. It’s like Christmas and the Fourth of July and Halloween combined! Dick Cheney is alive right now just because he willed himself to see another 9/11. But according to Politico, who have labeled the situation “awkward,” like a 19-year-old coed, Barack Obama has nowhere to go this year. The site in Pennsylvania where that one plane ran into the ground? Michelle and Laura Bush are going to be there, so that 9/11 place is for girls. Eww! 9/11 cooties! Obama can’t go to the Pentagon, because he went there last year, and everyone knows that that one isn’t important enough to visit twice. As for the World Trade Center site, well, umm, there will be anti-mosk protesters there. Read more on Poor Obama Has Nowhere To Celebrate 9/11 This Year :(…
  old people and their 'rights'

Sure, Orrin Hatch Will Support That Mosque Thing

We all know that Orrin Hatch loves Judaism and singing about his favorite holiday, Hanukkah. But apparently he loves all other religions too. And thus he supports the rights of Muslims to build a community center in Manhattan, if they want to, he said in an interview with a Utah Fox affiliate. No biggie. “And there’s a huge, I think, lack of support throughout the country for Islam to build that mosque there, but that should not make a difference if they decide to do it. I’d be the first to stand up for their rights,” he said, Muslinly. Read more on Sure, Orrin Hatch Will Support That Mosque Thing…
  dept. of go fuck yourself

RedState Says Bigotry Is an American Tradition, But Muslims Aren’t Allowed To Call This Mosque Stuff Bigotry

“A Free Society And The Muslim Conundrum: accept us or we will kill you”: Hmm, that sounds like the title of a detached, logic-based RedState post about the reality of all this mosque stuff that finally, hopefully seems to be ending. And look, it is! It manages to justify hatred of Muslims with other things, such as the fact that some of them go to good universities that treat them with respect, or that Muslims are “complaining” despite the fact that many religious groups have faced bigotry in American history. But don’t worry, mostly Muslims still just want to kill us Christian white people. Read more on RedState Says Bigotry Is an American Tradition, But Muslims Aren’t Allowed To Call This Mosque Stuff Bigotry…
  the flotus files

The Mosque is Michelle Obama’s Fault, Because of Spain

Have you had enough 9/11 lately? If you are a True Patriot, the answer is, of course, “Never!” So you must be excited for the FLOTUS reunion between current, sexy FLOTUS Michelle Obama and previous, less exciting FLOTUS Laura Bush at the future site of the Flight 93 National Memorial, coming soon to a teevee screen near you. This is a beautiful example of bipartisanship during this whole Ground Zero Mosk debacle. But wait, should Michelle Obama really be honoring victims of America’s Darkest Day when she is secretly a Muslim? Read more on The Mosque is Michelle Obama’s Fault, Because of Spain…
  maskq? moks? mawsk?

A Children’s Treasury of Facebook Comments About ‘the Mosk’

Multiple tipsters have sent us this fun Internet adventure: type “mosk” into Openbook, which shows you status updates of people who are too dumb to put any privacy setting on their Facebook account. EVIL LIBRULS have caught on to this, because quite a few of the results of this are now people saying, “Hey, go on this site and put in ‘mosk’,” but in between, predictably, there are quite a few gems. As Krauthammer knows, the American public is very smart and even-handed when it comes to things like the “mosk.” Read more on A Children’s Treasury of Facebook Comments About ‘the Mosk’…
  what's that majority? you say you wanna kill jews?

Majority of a Population Can Never Be Bigoted, According To Member of Majority Charles Krauthammer

Oh those libruls! They are losing power very quickly, yet they continue to take positions against majority opinion when that opinion is bigoted. How dare they say support of the Arizona immigration law is bigoted?! How dare they say support of Proposition 8 is bigoted?! How dare they say opposition to the Burlington Coat Factory Islamic community center is bigoted?! Oh, right, because those things are the very definition of bigotry. But according to Charles Krauthammer, views held by a majority cannot be considered bigotry. Sounds like somebody forgot to take his history-remembering pills this morning. Read more on Majority of a Population Can Never Be Bigoted, According To Member of Majority Charles Krauthammer…